Someone snap me out of this?

[Guylian]

Pretty sure there is something wrong with me lately :/ I've been getting upset about the most random things and feeling like I'm not fit to be looking after this horse

When ever people see me doing something wrong they go straight to the YM, it makes me feel like I'm doing really terrible things, but it's just silly things like putting the muck on the wrong side of the muck heap. It's really scary having to be spoken to by the YM, makes me feel like a naughty child I guess they feel that knowing me for 2 months isn't long enough to tell me things are wrong? Which is fair enough - who knows they might think I'd lose my rag at them or something? I don't feel like my riding is getting any better, I'm still learning to trot, (I've been learning to ride for something like 6 months) and I feel so unstable and unbalanced, I'm really scared about riding on my own. Not to mention I find tacking up really hard, not sure if it's because I'm new to it or just because I'm so short I can't put the saddle on by myself (although I can put the bridle on now), and I can't open the tack room lock or close it - I'm totally useless. The people there are really kind and don't seem to mind helping me tack up or close the tack room door (and I'm lucky the YM doesn't get angry at me), but it's so embarrassing.

I'm getting really stressed out with myself and I realise that I was stupid thinking I could get everything right with my first horse - I'm just so stressed with my stupid mistakes and not being able to do things on my own, I can't believe it but I cried about it yesterday in the tack room Please snap me out of this I'm being way to emotional over this

Thanks if you read that I'm pretty sure it's because my depo ran out I hate being emotional like this especially when I know I shouldn't be. (sorry if that was hard to read, I missed a lot of punctuation lol)

 

[Big Pony]

Maybe you should talk to the YM about how you feel and they could help you? Sorry, probably not much help....

 

[asommerville]

it will get better! when i got.my first horse i did everything wrong, its horrible wjn your not close to people at the yard and confident getting their help
what kind od f yard are you on and what kind of things do you do with your horse?

do you get lessons?

it will get better honest and there will come a time when youll look back and think you were silly for worrying.

 

[PollyP]

Poor you. It will be difficult the first time. I'm about to start riding regularly again after having a 7 year break, and have to admit I'm nervous about being judged! I think horse ownership is something you learn constantly, and will never know completely everything there is to know.

Why dont you speak to some of the liveries and say to them, I'm new at this and understand I'm doing things wrong/not sure of the yard rules etc, so if you see me going off track please feel free to come and talk/tell me about it as I will really appreciate it and know for next time?

 

[Guylian]

@Big pony - I could do, she's a really nice lady.

@asommerville - I have an instructor on the same yard that teaches me one day a week and we go for hacks sometimes (we have woodlands behind the yard). I hope it does get better, my mum has said to me before I expect to get things right first time, and then put a lot of pressure on myself when I get things wrong.

@pollyp - not sure why I didn't think of that, I will chat to the ones I see often when I'm next at the yard

 

[Cortez]

Oh gosh, don't be so hard on yourself! See can you get some lessons (his includes stable management lessons) from some experienced (properly experienced; not just noisy) person? there is a whole world of horsiness to be absorbed, it takes a lifetime, and you never stop learning (I'm "in" horses more than 40 years, and I learn something every day). Chin up, there's nothing wrong with not knowing, just not doing something about it.

 

[Jazzy B]

perhaps you should think about putting your horse on working livery at a riding school (a good one) then you can join in with lessons, there be loads of people around to hep you and you certainly won't be talked about because everybody is in the same boat and neither will you feel stressed or embarrassed! I had my first pony on working livery, I didn't have a clue and I had totally over ponied myself (not saying you have) if I hadn't had regular lessons on her, loads of people to hack out with, and other people to help exercise my pony and keep the edge off her I probably wouldn't have had her seven months let alone seventeen years!

 

[Guylian]

A lot of the people on the yard have years of experience so maybe one of them would be happy teaching me. I've been trying to pluck up the courage to ask some of the girls if they wanted to come out hacking with me one day the woods are really nice but I just don't like going out on my own.

 

[Cottontail]

Having been to two new yards in the last 2 year because of moving house, I can identify with you.. I think the best thing to do is to be open with people about how things are making you feel, as has already been suggested. I do think that riding out with people would be a great idea and I really hope that it all settles down and you feel better, horses are meant to be fun, not stress

 

[Holly Hocks]

The fact that you are admitting that you are making mistakes and asking for help is only a good thing! It sounds like what you think are big mistakes are only trivial things really
Your horse is there for you to enjoy and you shouldn't feel like this. Your horse is your escape and freedom so you have to learn to enjoy it.
If I think back to when I got my first horse, I was still at the bottom of a steep learning curve - I still am. Nobody knows everything and 99.9% of riders can be improved in some way.
Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy your horse. Make sure you really think that your instructor is teaching you the right things - if you don't feel that you're getting any better then it might be time to find a new one. Good luck.

 

[Zirach]

Aw, I agree, you are bring too hard on yourself. Have a chat with your YO and explain how you are feeling. You are doing all the right things, having regular lessons asking for help etc. Remember we werent all born riding horses (although some people think otherwise!) everyone has to learn. It is easy to feel intimidated by people who you perceive to be more knowledgable that you, I still do and I have been riding for over 20 years ( and still feel like a beginner at times!) As hard as it sounds try not to worry what other people say, ask if you are not sure, smile and remember it is suposed to be fun! Sending you a big hug xxx

 

[Kenzo]

Awww, dont be hard on yourself, if you don't ask you don't learn, no shame in it.

Just remember there are oss folk out there who have had horses for over 20 years with a wealth if knowledge and riding experience and trust me some of those don't even deserve to own a horse at times!

If people are happy to help you then don't feel silly or ashamed, there doing it because they want to, we've all been there

 

[Guylian]

@Cottontail - I will try and ride out with people, hopefully when the weathers nice!

@Holly Hocks - Yeah I do love having a horse, I've wanted one since I was 3, 19 years later I finally have one lol! You are right that a lot of my mistakes are silly and unimportant - which is a good thing at least

@Zirach - Yeah there are defiantly people who think they were born doing it lol. It is scary being new to it, especially at 21 when most of the people have been riding from 3 years old. At least none of them are judgemental, I don't think I could cope on a bitchy yard!

@Kenzo - That's very true, you have to learn somehow - I'm such a perfectionist with everything though, If I get something wrong I punish myself for it, I really need to get myself out of that mentality!