Something needs to change.

[cblover]

Morning all, hope you’re all well.

I’m sure this post is fuelled by a menopausal me.... but here goes.

I own my own land 2 miles from where I live. Great place but not brill/safe hacking straight off the place. No round routes without going on a busy road. Plus I have no riding buddies close by and a young horse that needs good experiences...as do I! So basically I’m on my own.

I’d like to change things as I feel I have no motivation or real goal in mind. Like I say....hormones!!

So I could move to livery, DIY and have use of a school, same distance away as my place and I was here for 5 years before we bought our land. Not sure if they have vacancies as yet, plus the place isn’t looking as good as when I was last there. I think horses tend to be grazed on their own too and I hate that. And I’m not sure I could do livery again. It would mean either renting my place out or selling up. Hubby isn’t keen on selling yet.

Buy a 4x4 (I have a trailer) again and visit places for use of school and lessons possibly. Hubby sold our last 4x4 as I wasn’t using it enough. Meanie! Lol

Have an instructor visit my place, but I don’t have a decent surface apart from fields to have a lesson.

I just can’t seem to see the point to it all. Yes I love Scrappy but my head is all over the place. I don’t just want to walk her down the road all her life. I just feel my set up isn’t right for a young horse to be educated. An arena would feel safer to me and give me options but without travelling it’s a no go.

Am I missing something? Please feel free to tell me. Just feeling a bit lost and I can’t see the point. Do I need an older horse that I can just get on and go? Possibly. Thanks ?

 

[FFAQ]

Are your fields flat enough to put up a temporary grass school to have some lessons in? Perhaps do some online showing or something? It sounds like you need a change! The other option is seeing if a friend could trailer over to you and go hacking together?

 

[Dreamer515]

Hi,

If it was me I think I would look at getting transport and boxing out for arena hire and also box to hack out occasionally as well.

Have you any horsey friends you could box out to meet or vice versa?

I don't know how much land you have but what about getting another horse and maybe a sharer to hack out with if possible?

I love my livery yard I have my boys on but having had my own land in the past and having to give it up due to house move, I much preferred being on my own land and controlling how I keep my horses rather than having to fit in with the livery owner's wishes.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

It sounds like time to get a new 4x4 - don't let OH sell the next one!

 

[Spottyappy]

I am similar to you, with my own yard and no decent riding near by. I do have my daughter with me, but riding with me isn’t always her idea of fun!
So, i Now have a lorry,and now box up and meet friends.
Prior to having my arena built, I had lessons in the fields. In fact, we Still do sometimes as having an arena causes the horses, imho, to lean on the sides.
We have friends who have, for many years until they Also recently Got an arena, produced hOYS qualifiers very successfully from riding in the fields.
Could you get a livery at all? Not sure if scrappy has company but if she does, maybe rethink the companion For her, verses a companion for you.

 

[wren123]

Can you mark out an arena?
That and buying a 4x4 and box out to hacking.

 

[cblover]

There is possibly a flat enough bit to fence off, gets a bit wet but it’s a possibility.
I have a cob as a companion for Scrappy, she’s 3 this year. I’ve tried to advertise for a livery but I think poor hacking puts people off.
I think a tow vehicle could help and would give me choices.
Or I’m too old for a young horse and need to face facts. I’m not brave anymore and doubt I can provide the best education for my horse.

 

[dorsetladette]

I have my own place and got a bit lonely at the beginning of the year. i hadn't ridden in I can't remember how long and was missing having some one to bounce off of. I don't class myself as a very social person, but the people I do spend time with I'd like to have the same interests as me (if that makes sense) so I advertised for a livery. I was worried it wouldn't work, worried it wouldn't suit me, but its actually worked out quite well. Livery comes up twice a week and poo picks and rides if she wants too. We ride out once or twice a week together and the rest of the time I'm more or less left alone.

I have a small lorry which needs work, but will be back on the road by the end of the year. and we have built a 30x20 grass arena so we can ride safely in the field. A bit of work from me and a compromise or too and I've changed my set up so it makes me happy again.

So, box out, get an instructor in and advertise for a livery. or try a combination of 2 out of the 3.

 

[emilylou]

There is possibly a flat enough bit to fence off, gets a bit wet but it’s a possibility.
I have a cob as a companion for Scrappy, she’s 3 this year. I’ve tried to advertise for a livery but I think poor hacking puts people off.
I think a tow vehicle could help and would give me choices.
Or I’m too old for a young horse and need to face facts. I’m not brave anymore and doubt I can provide the best education for my horse.

Get a 4x4 and a good freelance rider to do the bits you dont want to. Fence a grass arena and re-advertise for a livery at competitive rates, you only need one person to say yes

 

[Polos Mum]

Agree with people above but in addition why not advertise for a sharer - be picky and supervise but someone to do something with her to give you a break might work.
It will help the loneliness, you could walk in hand with the 3 y/o to start their education.

If the land will cope with 3 horses then a livery might well work - with all the job cuts currently you might find someone is struggling with normal livery prices and willing to compromise hacking for a competitively priced place.

 

[Bonnie Allie]

As another woman of a certain age who has these thoughts as well (and the ones about why do I have to run 6km everyday just to maintain my weight through menopause?) please buy a 4x4 and get out a bit more.

After years of putting the children’s riding, their sport, their education before my own riding needs I found that when they disappeared off to Uni I wondered if I was too old to have a young horse/jump/go to clinics/hack out on the beach.

Hubby gave me a massive kick up the bum and made me get back out there. It does mean travelling to these events and places to learn and school but it is worth it. Just do it. Get the 4x4, a new saddle, some new riding clothes, some crazy riding socks, a new helmet and anything else you have gone without whilst putting others needs before your own.

.............and drive that 4x4 like you stole it!

 

[J&S]

Get your transport organised, join the local riding club, get out and meet some other horsey people who will make you feel welcome and hopefully work with trainers who will give you a good confidence base. You need small goals that are easily achievable to start with and then every thing else will follow through naturally. I would not be selling my own land to go to a livery yard, once you start meeting people at RC events you may find a perfect companion. Look for your area Trec club, they are allowed to run training sessions again and working on the trec obstacles will enhance your and your horses skills, all can be done at walk and some from a stand still!

 

[JoannaC]

I'm in a similar position, have the horses at home and recently bought a sweet, sensible but young green horse as my other two are retired. I do have a school but really want to get her fit by hacking out. Bought a little lorry but realised going out on my own to somewhere isn't actually fun. I don't really know the area either so don't know the rides. I've now decided to sell the lorry and use the money to temporarily go on livery somewhere with decent hacking. Covid has put this on hold but think that is still my plan. Then once she's got a bit more life experience i'll bring her back home and hopefully we'll both be more confident to hack out from home. We are on a lane that is used as a cut through by the huge contractor tractors pulling massive trailers and I know i'll panic if I see one coming towards us even though she is pretty sensible and don't want to ruin her with my own nerves.

 

[Muddywellies]

I'm exactly where you are, but opposite. I'm getting to that age where I really need my own space. I'm completely fed up with not being able to do my own thing and my elderly yard owner's bonkers erratic ideas and lack of maintenance on the yard. The lawns are mowed beautifully, but roofs leak, fencing is knackered and arena surfaces not fit for purpose. There are wars about grazing and whilst it's not too b1tchy, there is a certain amount of nit picking. If you're menopausal, I promise a livery yard with drive you bananas in days. In your shoes I would simply get myself transport and get out and about. I'm avidly looking for a couple of acres to buy!

 

[indie1282]

Can you put the young horse on livery whilst keeping your current fields? That way yoU could 'try before you buy' so to speak and if it doesn't work out you can go back home.

 

[Asha]

You seem to be having more of a confidence crisis with a young horse then anything else. In your shoes id get an older schoolmaster type, plus a new 4 x4. Mar kout a grass arena . Get out and about and meet up with friends without worrying about what Scrappy will or wont do.
Horses are meant to be fun. once your confidence is up, you can pop on Scrappy and do bits there. It all starts getting more enjoyable when you are not worried. ( been there done that )

 

[sport horse]

Get a trailer/towing vehicle. Join local Riding Club and join in instruction/make friends to meet up with. See how it goes?

 

[cblover]

Thanks everyone, great support as always. I’ve put a post on Facebook asking for freelance riders in my area and I’ve told (not asked! Lol) hubby that early next year I’ll be getting a towing vehicle. To be fair this year is a right off so I’m happy to wait until next year.

I also took Scrappy out for walk down the road this morning and she was great with all traffic we came across, including a manitou but had a heart attack at a pink flower and a puddle! Lol
I know getting out and about will help me feel better and more proactive than I am now. I have a local riding club I was a member of for 10 years at least, in fact I helped set it up and was treasurer for years. It’s got very big and that’s great but it can be too busy for me at times. I’ll join next year though and have some lessons at least. Thanks again for listening.

 

[Gloi]

If you move to livery it doesn't have to be a long term thing, just long enough to build up your confidence so doing things from home is not as daunting. Having lessons and riding in the field on a less than perfect surface isn't always a bad thing so long as it isn't too wet.

 

[Chianti]

I'm exactly where you are, but opposite. I'm getting to that age where I really need my own space. I'm completely fed up with not being able to do my own thing and my elderly yard owner's bonkers erratic ideas and lack of maintenance on the yard. The lawns are mowed beautifully, but roofs leak, fencing is knackered and arena surfaces not fit for purpose. There are wars about grazing and whilst it's not too b1tchy, there is a certain amount of nit picking. If you're menopausal, I promise a livery yard with drive you bananas in days. In your shoes I would simply get myself transport and get out and about. I'm avidly looking for a couple of acres to buy!

I hadn't connected being more uptight about being on livery and being post menopausal. It all makes perfect sense now. I could quite happily sometimes stand in the middle of the arena and shout abuse at everyone.

 

[Flame_]

I was in a similar situation and it's been a much longer road to getting an established (that's a lie, still pretty green!) 9 year old than it would have been with an arena and people to ride with. What really helped me the most was sending my horse to boot camp and then having lesson there. Can you invest in a few months training livery at an active place? I know there isn't as much going on as usual but if you could base yourself somewhere with schools, off road hacking, other riders and a trainer, just say for the rest of the summer, it might bring your horse and your confidence on enough to go back and build on that at your own place on your own.

ETA Plus get your transport sorted

 

[MuddyMonster]

I'd consider moving (possibly temporarily over autumn/winter) to somewhere with good facilities to make like minded friends & good facilities to help get you 'up and running'.

Then when you do move back and can get transport, you'll be in the routine of riding and 'doing' stuff, have more experience and have friends to meet up for hacking/share lessons etc with.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I used to be an unlivery livery..... Local yard had amazing facilities but crap turn out. So came to an arrangement that I would pay livery but not stay their. So I could use walker, wash, outdoor schools, indoor, lunge paddock and x country. Yard owner loved this. Ended up doing this for a couple of years and when I went to two in full work, yo would let me use stable paddock for the other so they did not stand on box.

 

[doodle]

I think move temporarily to livery yard say for 6months or until spring. This will give you time to get going. Then you can decide if to go back to your field or sell/rent it and carry on at livery. If you do go back to field you can get the 4x4, join a riding club and box up for lessons, hacking etc.

 

[Lintel]

Where do you stay Cb?
Could you get a part loaner for Scrappy? - a good one!
Somebody that could enjoy riding her and bring her on whilst you gained your confidence?
If you were near to me I would be happy to come to you with my boy and head out a hack, do you have any local friends or people you could invite up?

 

[cblover]

I’m in Cumbria and I’ve sorted a rider to come on Monday. She’s freelance but I think it could work. Plus I’m definitely going to get a towing car in the new year.

 

[Scotsbadboy]

Similar situation (not hormonal though) with my little 3 acres, no arena and on clay! I do have lovely hacking but it gets boring and i get lonely on my own to the point i sold two lovely horses last year and gave up the hobby .... then got bored, realised i was an equestrian through and through and bought an uneducated 9yr old ISH a few weeks ago. Im another for saying get that 4x4 super quick and get out and about. Im making much more use of my trailer and RC with this horse than i ever did with the other two. I did think about going to livery in winter but I'm still on the fence about that!

 

[MagicMelon]

Ive backed and brought on several horses and ponies, Ive always kept mine at home with nobody nearby to help and no school etc. Just a field to work in. Its not ideal and Im sure I could progress a lot quicker with a school but hey ho. I do have a 4x4 though so would travel to lessons etc. once they were going well enough. I am lucky I do have hacking nearby but do have a little roadwork on a very quiet country road. Can you ask your local farmer if you could ride round the edges of his fields? When our surrounding ones are stubble, its brilliant to go round those. It is doable though. Ive competed to a decent enough level without having a school. Personally Id always choose home when I can set my own rules and feed them in my PJ's than on livery with all the politics etc.

 

[ihatework]

Ultimately this is a hobby we do for fun, it’s supposed to give us pleasure. So you need to sit down and have a think about the options available to you, what you realistically hope to achieve, what will give you the most pleasure and then base decisions from there.

We are all different.

I know for sure I wouldn’t want to be bringing on young horses from a small holding, alone, no arena, no decent hacking. Sounds like my worst nightmare and I’d be hot footing it to a local yard with facilities without a second thought. But equally others would make the most of it and just crack on, glad to have their own place and not have to DIY.

 

[cblover]

Thanks again for your replies. I think if I just had one horse I would go to livery but having two makes it a little less likely. I’d need company for both in both places and I couldn’t do the work involved.

So a towing vehicle, join the riding club and have the help of a freelance rider will be my first changes.