*SORRY UNRELATED* BUT thought H&H people Would Be The Best People To Ask ;)[Weddings]

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armywag

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Do you think its rude to ask people to the Ceremony only?

I think it may be but in this day and age receptions are soooo expensive and you just cant have everyone..

What do you think?

Have you done this and if so how did you go about it?

Thanks Guys!
 
I always thought it was the closest people at the ceremony and then, them and other acquaintances (ie, not as close) to the reception too...
 
what i would do is just have formal invites for the people coming to the meal/evening 'do' and then you could have special invites to let people know when your ceremony is with a nice note to say something like "you would love for them to come and celebrate your special day but are having an 'intimate' meal afterwards to keep numbers down- very close family/friends only. i'm sure people will understand, weddings are ridiculously expensive. i'm getting married abroad to avoid having to invite about 10 million people :rolleyes:
 
armywag said:
Do you think its rude to ask people to the Ceremony only?

I think it may be but in this day and age receptions are soooo expensive and you just cant have everyone..

What do you think?

Have you done this and if so how did you go about it?

Thanks Guys!
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If it's in a church anyone (Joe public) can come in and watch. So as long as they know your getting married if they want to see you they will go to church if not bothered because of no invite to reception then don't worry. If you do an invite to church only they may think you just want a wedding pressie sorry but that's how peeps think and won't come anyway unless they live close to ceremony.
 
We had a massive evening reception, and a tiny daytime do for very close friends and family. We bought another horse with the daytime reception money! We had photos at home after the ceremony, with champagne and canapes we'd bought ourselves. Quite a few people that didn't come to the meal came to the actual ceremony, and they came back for a drink if they wanted after. I don't think anyone was offended. We just told everyone from the start, and it wasn't a very formal wedding anyway.

Congratulations and Good luck. They can be stressful things!!xx
 
I don't know, but I think it would be quite unusual.

I'm going to hire a big marquee and have my reception at my parents farm. It's actually not too expensive (well, not when comparing it to the crazy quotes we've had from hotels). The marquee is the big cost, but everything else, I'm organising myself, from hiring and dressing the furniture, getting the flowers from the local florist, I have an outside caterer and we are doing traditional hog roasts. The local pub is doing the bar, so that is free for me, and my guests will pay for their drinks, apart from a glass of champaign for everyone on arrival. The band is all self contained and cost much less than I imagined too.

It will be awesome, and those who are too drunk to drive home can camp in tents in the field. :D
 
Of course you can invite people to the ceremony only but make it very very clear that that is all in the invitation, otherwise it will be extremely embarrassing for all parties when they turn up later and find they aren't included.
If they are offended by this then they don't have to attend. Their choice x
 
It would certainly be highly unusual.

What would be more normal and generally socially acceptable is to invite people to the ceremony and meal & then invite the other guests to the evening only i.e. dancing and late buffet.

This is the way most people do it. We did (10 years ago now!!!:eek:) because we wanted family and close friends at the ceremony and meal but also wanted our other friends to enjoy the later party.
 
TBH, I would much rather go to the ceremony than the after wedding shannanigans. A wedding ceremony, whether informal or formal is a wonderful moment and I would be honoured to be asked.

Depending on the after occasion, if it was informal and a quick drink to celebrate was offered I wouldn't turn it down, would end the ceremony nicely. If a meal followed and I was not invited I would retreat quietly and probably pop off for a nice meal myself with my hubby (any excuse).

I for one would not take offence if I was not invited to a meal, it is so costly and the line has to be drawn somewhere.

Do what you want to do. Have the people you want there. My one regret is that I invited many people to mine because I felt I had to, never to see them again from that day to this.
 
I always thought that the actual marriage service were ever held was a public event and anybody could attend. Once went to the register office to see a friend get married and a lady turned up with all her Saturday shopping just for a sit down. When I was a child we often used to go to watch nieghbours children get married and to throw conffeti outside the church. I certainly still stop when I see a wedding to see the bride. It used to be announced in the local press so everyone knew.
In this day and age why not put the date and time on Facebook or e-mail them and say that you would be pleased to see them.
 
Archiesmummy said:
Do what you want to do. Have the people you want there. My one regret is that I invited many people to mine because I felt I had to, never to see them again from that day to this.
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I am agreeing with this totally but from the view of the gues please do let them know where they are supposed to be and when.

I have just endured a whole week of weddings (for someone who doesn't want to being chased by a bride with a bouqet is probably ones worst nightmare), the best were best not because of how much was spent by because we knew where we had to be when and what to do.

Just make sure that as it is YOUR wedding day you do what YOU want and don't let people upset you or get you to do anything that you do not want. Invite the people you want to the parts you want them to come to. This is your special day and really it is all about you!

Congratulations Good luck and enjoy by the way!
 
Are you having an 'evening do' or is the reception in the evening? I've been to lots of weddings where I've been invited to the ceremony and then to the evening do (some with, some without a buffet) but not to the sit down meal stright after the ceremony. I've not been offended once. (well once, but that was because the wedding was away, she invited my friend all day but not her kids and then said to my friend that I was only going to the ceremony and the evening so to ask me to take the kids for the afternoon!)

If the reception is the evening do it's fine but as others have said make it clear it's to the ceremony only. Maybe a little note would be better than a formal inviation for this. Along the lines of

"We would love to share our day with as many people as possible. Unfortunately, we have to limit the numbers at the reception and can therefore only invite our closest family and friends but we would love to see you at the ceremony at (date time and place) if you can make it."
 
Thanks guys for all your lovely comments - I feel much better now and have some good tips on how to go about it!

You H&H guys are great! :o)

Thanks Again!
 
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