Soul searching and a sigh of relief....

[SatansLittleHelper]

I have been reading alot on here about people losing their enthusiam/confidence with riding/horses lately and it helped me come to some hard decisions. I asked for help on here with my new horse and my depression etc. I was going to sell and get another but a few people here said not to rush in to buying another and to give myself a break.
I did ride new horse and momentarily felt great and more motivated.
Truth is I have been really struggling and I just dont much feel like putting the effort into riding at the moment. My younger horse is 3 and a half and I love him to the moon and back. It was love at first sight when I found him for sale a year ago...all of my motivation, passion and time revolves around him. I have done alot of soul searching and know Im not in the position at this time in my life to do them both justice. I need a break from the pressure and to be able to enjoy my hobby again. Having a severely disabled child means the animals are my down time...I need to be able to relax and de stress.
So I have put new horse up for sale. Young horse deserves for me to be focussed on him and less irritable. He is being started next spring and I really want to be able to do him justice...do one properly rather than scrape by with two.
My plan is to do groundwork with him and work on his manners and our relationship. Im going to have regular lessons at the local school to progress and regain confidence. I have my friends lovely Breton mare to hack out on if I feel like it, with no pressure.
Hope Im making the right choice but I feel I have to be completely honest with myself. Already feeling better knowing its just going to be me and my boy...the relief is enourmous.But I do feel guilty, a bit pathetic and stupid for getting myself in such a mess in the first place

 

[trottingon]

We all do things that don't work out quite like we planned, every now and then. Well done for making what must have been a very hard decision x

 

[babymare]

You have made a hard decision which is often the hardest part. i felt a sense of releif when i made decsision about baby. Yes guilty but relief to. And you are niether stupid or pathetic honest hun. A big hug for future x x .

 

[ROMANY 1959]

I have felt the very same way about carriage driving, I was not doing horse justice, roads were getting busier, each time I got two others to come with me on carriage , either my get up and go went! Or it poured down.. So I've sold the carriage and stuff, and the horse can just be ridden by his sharer and do fun rides ect, such a weight off me, I fully understand where you are at.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I think it sounds like the best decision. I do recall your previous post and you were having a very tough time.
I think having the time and enthusiasm to throw at your youngster will be brilliant for you.
I hope you find a nice home for your other horse and all works out well for you xx

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Thank you. With having such a huge commitment to my daughter with all of her problems I desperately do need to down time I get from the horses...but it just feels like yet more pressure/guilt at the moment. The relief is palpable already just at having made the decision so I know when the horse is sold its going to be like a weight has been lifted.