Staarzan - How are you getting along?

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E_Lister

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Maybe I have missed an update, but I feel we are getting behind on your farrier bagging tricks...

Any news/ plans/ murders recently?
 
I'm sorry, Staarzan is not here right now. The men in white coats took her away after a command performance of The Welly Dance...:D:D:D
 
I was JUST ABOUT to write an epic update for you all!!!

I still don't have a sexy farrier sitting in my bed being sexy...and after an horrific shock this evening involving some misguided stalking of the wrong person by Niagaraduval... I am getting there slowly!!!

I have been teaching all week in Wales... and have been being texted all week by a certain foot scented sex god... and ALMOST struck gold with a fantastic text the other day which read "If only you knew".

But then he went all manly and monosyllabic and ****. :(

LUCKILY... he is coming to do eight on Friday, so I'll whack out the sexy mounting block dance and let my morags waft around in the wind and he'll jump on me!

I am feeling somewhat disheartened. Although he came over the day before I left to do a set and take a shoe off my bloody poofaced youngster who has now been told he's not allowed shoes unless he keeps them on for more than five minutes!!!!!

My youngster is being a companion for a friend's horse, and so he drove aall the way over there behind me in the widdling rain, pulled the shoe off, and didn't charge me anything... it COST him money, but still he came with... and then stayed for a chat in rain. I looked like a very drowned drowned thing... and he looked all windswept and interesting and sexy... and I VERY nearly put my big hoof in it by ALMOST saying "cor blimes... sorry I drove so fast!" just as he was saying "you drive like a GRANNY!".

I though I'd been all cool and Jason Statham esque. But clearly not. :D

OH I ADORE HIM. I'm off to make some "I HEART FARRIERS" nipple tassles.

Help anyone?!

The latest plan is a casual game fair encounter... hmmmmmmmmm
 
Spudlet said:
I'm sorry, Staarzan is not here right now. The men in white coats took her away after a command performance of The Welly Dance...:D:D:D
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The men in white coats did take me away, but only to get me into their beds because the Welly Dance is just


SO SEXY.
 
You never know, he may have seen "drowned rad" as "sexilicious mermaid"!

P.S. If it is forecast to rain when he next comes, then DEFINATELY wear a thin, white, cotton shirt. Think about it, goes seethrough, you start to shiver, he either comes and envelops you in a warm, muscly, manly hug... OR he offers you his coat and warms the cocles of your heart with a sexy and winning smile. (Wonders off to congratulate self on genuis)

If sunny, get those morags out ;) the welly dance can be the icing on the cake for either ;)
 
ALSO ALSO ALSO!!!

He said "I bought you a present" last week... and there was I going "oh my god he's seen sense and bought me a ring at LAST" when he brought out a small cake.

Still sweet, and I was all happy and enjoying being bought stuff when I tasted it and it sucked all the moisture out of my body with it's dry spongey yuckness.... and he said "rank aren't they? I ate two but they were so awful I thought I'd give you that one".


I'm clearly not that special! :(

I must remember to get some waterproof mascara.. I can't do the whole soggy panda look again.... and it would NOT be cool on my cotton shirt when my morags are all peanut smuggly and I'm all cold and vulnerable.

We all know that this won't go to plan and I'll snot everywhere and look rank. :D
 
Maybe you could go for black and white nipple tassels and the smudgy mascara and say that was the look you were going for ;) ;) although the problem would be the snot... not sure you could make that look like part of "the plan"!
 
If he loves me through the snot.... we know it's true love!!!

I am YET to find out if Troutina does in fact exist. If she does....

God help her and her non welly dancing knickers.

I am actually off to make some nipple tassles now.... photos to follow!!! (tasteful and involving Huntress wellies and lots of tweed of COURSE)

:D :D :D :D
 
Polestars2_shop_burlesque_henpack.jpg


:D
 
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Red won't be my colour though! I am one big fat blush... They'll blend in like a motherbitch!!!
 
thelwell_girl said:
Polestars2_shop_burlesque_henpack.jpg


:D
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Some cool editing there... but to be picky it would be "las morags" as there are two... or at least I hope there are!

As for troutina, maybe she might be nice in different circumstances... but as it is, with nipple tassels and the sexy welly dance, you are right, she stands no chance!
 
flirtygerty said:
Hi Staarzan,
Your posts keep me lol, go girl but be careful what you wish for.
I'm dying to see pic of your farrier.
Market your tassles
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Why must I be careful?! Do you know something about him I don't? Does he have a Gloria Estefan obsession?!?!?! Oh no.....


I WISH FOR.....


a farrier to tell me I'm all BEAUTIFUL by the end of Friday.

I'll settle for a big fat snog though :D


ETA: Yes, calm down, there are two morags... and it is very much viva las morags here right now... I'm on the morag twizzler train and making me some tassles!
 
You may have his name... but only if you promise to be SUBTLE in your stalking and not jump on his face and say "STARZAAN FANCIES THE CHAPS OFF YOU AND WANTS YOU IN HER BED!"

that would not be cool.
 
thelwell_girl said:
Just so people know... Ther is another snottier version of the Morag Tassles coming...
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YAY!

I am worried about how er spend our tuesday evenings though. One of us typed in "how to make nipple tassels" into google, another is MAKING mipple tassels, and another is making cyber nipple tassels...

Me thinks all 3 of us need a man to make us snap out of this!
 
thelwell_girl said:
Erm... I'm 16 and have never had a bf! What the heck is wrong with me?!

I need a nice horsey boy and Ill be happy :D
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Nothing is wrong. Better avoid them than go out with some horse hating eejit *cough* my mistake! *cough* BTW, I'm nearly 19 and have only had one proper bf, so don't sweat it!

And nice, straight horsey guys are normally like rocking horse poo, hens teeth or unicorns to get hold of... why do you think we are rallying round starzaan in her quest to get one!?!
 
Starzaan said:
breathtaking.......


mine look **** now.
:(
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Aw dont cry Starzaan!

Just print my ones out, cut them out and... stick em on?! :D

E_Lister said:
Nothing is wrong. Better avoid them than go out with some horse hating eejit *cough* my mistake! *cough* BTW, I'm nearly 19 and have only had one proper bf, so don't sweat it!

And nice, straight horsey guys are normally like rocking horse poo, hens teeth or unicorns to get hold of... why do you think we are rallying round starzaan in her quest to get one!?!
Click to expand...

Nice to know Im not some mutant freak :o

Ah, but now the age old question...

Unicorn... Or Sexy Horsey Guy?!
 
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