Staarzan - How are you getting along?

I'll stick to my Le Chameaus, I think ... slightly less likely to fall off the mounting block :p

Still trying to find the promised photo of my miniskirt/wellies look, think it's on my mum's camera.
 
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Staarzan, just bite the bullet and ask him out, this is a granny talking.
I need to get back to my life not spend it checking on how you are doing.
As we geordies say, shy bairns get nowt so go for it, tassles and all.
Wish you all the luck in the world.
 
Starzaan said:
Well she isn't his friend on FB....


HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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can't you ask his flatmate his gf (if she still exists) name? im dying to know if shes current so we can devise ways to get her out of the picture so he can be with his true soulmate!

various bits of cyberstalking on my part (cant sleep, thats my excuse) have turned up someone who's first name is a bit like 'Soapy' but i cant figure out what her exact relevance is. his Myspace says hes in a relationship but looks like that was last updated in 2007. im sooo tempted to pm him thro FB to put us all out of our misery!
 
If Soapy's surname sounds like "Child" then I don't think she's an issue.... at least I hope not!! Spam seems to be the most likely candidate... but again, all updated in '07 so not too sure!!

You're most welcome to scare the living daylights out of him by asking if he's got a trout at home... I'm desperate now (in case you hadn't noticed!!).

I'm off to go and commence operation be sexy for the sexy farrier.... I do hope nobody comes over while I'm feeding the horses with a face mask on and a deep conditioning jobby on my hair!!! :D

I also need to choose a suitable farrier seducing outfit..... hmmmmmmm
 
Oh thanks TG! Now I feel really OLD!! Are we not able to say "Jobby" now?? Is it the new slang for herpes or something?!

I felt SO old last week... teaching all week... Spice Girls came on the speakers in the school... none of the kids knew the words or the dances...
 
I'm worried now. I use the word "jobby" quite alot, entirely innocently! But I got frightened recently by a doc who used the word "wicked" too frequently for my liking, so I'm not exactly down with the kids.... I think he may have been younger than me.
Are you older or younger than *sexy farrier* Staarzan?
I bet the poor guy has had alot of random facebook requests recently, now we all know his name and have seen his holiday pictures and know his star sign... Poor guy. But he's cute! And he really obviously has the hots for you (T_G do we still use that phrase?!) cos no guy would send that number of texts, or give you odd cake, without some kind of major attraction:rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Paddydou said:
Well I have been trying to fid out what is so special about this farrier googled him and all it comes up with are the ravings of a mad woman on horse and hound forum talking about welly dances and morag tassles!
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Thi9s thread is sooooo funny i nearly fell off my chair laughing so much! why can't all threads be like this! pmsl
 
Screw EastEnders! *grabs popcorn and sits down to watch wether the sexy farrier gets bagged with the sexy welly dance* I think we need some instruction on this welly-dance :p And some photos of your sexy farrier man :D:D
 
There must be other clients of his on here who are willing to put in a good word for Staarzan. After all she seems so sane and normal, who could fail to want her?:p;):D
 
I want to know what happened with the christmas turkey and the dog?

How about a bit of reverse pyscology (too tired to spell!) turn up in grubby jeans with the morags firmly controlled in a baggy sweatshirt. Keep looking at your watch while he is doing your horses and say you are in a rush to get finished as you have to get home to get ready to go out with your new boyfriend. Then he would realise how insanely jealous he was at the thought of you and the morags with another man and he would sweep you off your feet and into the back of his van and drive off into the sunset...........

Or you could just ask him out yourself?
 
Starzaan! It's friday, where's our update? WHAT HAPPENED??? Has he been yet? I told my sister about this whole scenario, and when I said *his name* she was like, "oh yeah, he's cute, everyone knows that" - and we are IN KENT!!
PS christmas turkey? dog? do tell!!!
 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So....

He arrived at 10am, whilst I was still frantically foofing my (fabulously soft and at prime curliness) hair and hefting up my morags into optimum cleavage mode... and the shameless bum waggling began!

I did a lot of wafting around with my morags waggling around... lots of draping myself casually over the mounting block... a disgusting amount of "OH YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND ISN'T MY LAUGH CUTE!!!?" giggling.... teasing him mercilessly... etc etc etc...

I also went for a bit of good old fashioned digging and am starting to believe that he has no trout.... he was very quick to mention the EX again... and then when I said "who are you going to Mexico with?" just said he was going with his friend as his best man for his wedding......... no trout mentioned.......

AND BE BOUGHT ME A BOTTLE OF COKE AND SOME BISCUITS!!! Either he thinks I'm a right fatty and need feeding to keep calm, or he's a simple boy and thinks giving food is good and manly and hunter gatherery....

:( :( BUT THE SILLY BUGGERING BUMFACE DIDN'T ASK ME OUT :( :(

My mare needs a trim... and he is changing his whole day on Tuesday so he can do her when I'm there rather than my mother holding her... so I'm guessing that means he'd like to see me?! My mother has always held the mare before while I've been at work... so...hmmm

He left at 3pm... having done two sets and five trims... and a LOT of talking... lots of loitering afterwards chatting while I pouted and squished my morags together furiously... mentioning that I'm very good company a few times... and that he's cross that I'm leaving my current job and he's bound not to get on with the new person...

SOOOO....

Plot Number 393462732387464 is:

Look SHAMELESSLY SEXY on Tuesday evening... and casually mention that I'm off to the pub to pick something up (entirely true... pub in the next village still have my saxophone stand and a pooload of my cds...) and then stick a sack on his head and FORCE him to come for a drinky with me.

I don't care that he didn't ask me out... I had such a lovely lovely day. He's such good company, his dog is a honey and gives very good cuddles, he makes me laugh, he pays special attention to my doggies, and every minute that I spend with him... even when he's bitching and moaning about his sore this and sore that.... I'm a happy happy girly.

It really didn't help that while I was standing right next to him, my AWFUL friend decided to ring and sing the sexy farrier song down the phone at the top of her lungs.

NOT COOL.
 
SUCCESS!!

Just remember to wear the nipple tassles and fluffy-feather-foof-fan (try saying that with a mouthful of biccies and coke) when you ask him to the pub and you are IN!
 
He wants you! I love reading your farrier posts they are just fantastic and I'm very glad you didn't need to use my vet killing horse to get the trout out the picture :)

Good luck for tuesday I have everything crossed for you :D
 
you bagged him, he's deffo smitten, so Tues u just gotta take the plunge and insist he come to the pub with u, tell him u need a hand carrying stuff to your car and that u wanna buy him a drink for rearranging his day.

By Wed morning i want all of the HHO forum users singing Staarzan and Farrier sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! :D
 
ALSO.... if anyone fancies popping into the Craven Arms in Brockhampton next Tuesday to witness the horrendous morag wafting that will be going on, and make me look dazzlingly popular... they'd be most welcome!

(Even more welcome if they happened to tell the stupid doofus to just ask me OUT!)
 
Have to say that made me laugh. Reckon you have him smitten if he changes his appointments to come and trim your horse. Also learned a new word and now know what a 'morag' is.

We shall all be expecting a full breakdown on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

Wish our farrier was hot. Our vet it, but that is another story entirely and I am too old and too marrried to tell.
 
HELP!

So... we all know he's changing his entire day for me on Tuesday, when he could really just do my mare in the morning when he was supposed to and have my mother hold her...

He's doing a friend's horses in the same village (I say village... we're all of six houses) on Tuesday, and has changed her time too so that he can come straight on and do Cooly... now she has suggested that I get out of my stinking horse gear after work (good plan as I have three to get ready for cubbing so will be rank and very very soggy!) and rush home wearing something dazzling and shamefully low cut.... then waft up to their yard while he's still working and ask how long he's going to be whilst foofing hair, waggling bum, shimmying morags, and pouting like a right slaggypants in a desperate attempt to make him drop all his tools and whisk me off my feet!!!

Now firstly what the eff to I wear?!

Secondly.... I am SO tempted to whack out the welly dance that I think I need a straightjacket.

Thirdly, Guylian seashell chocolates are the actual ****.


FANKS BITCHES!! :D :D :D
 
I have never replied to these posts, but my god do they crack me up :D Half the time I'm on my computer my house mate (well .. caravan mate) looks at me like I'm a freak while I crease up reading these threads. No advice though, I'm poo with this stuff, just keep trying and by the sounds of it, he defo wants you ;) and you most definatly have to get someone to record the welly dance, would probably be the funniest thing ont internet :D
 
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