starting a family and having a horse....

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White socks

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I am looking to start a family very soon with my long term boyfriend.

I have owned my horse for a about 15 years and has been my be all and end all for all this time. I love getting to the yard and riding after work, competitions (only local shows) lessons etc.

I have been wanting to start a family for sometime and am really excited about it.

I am concerned about my beloved horse (I'm sure this is normal) my partner is supportive and we will keep the horse I may consider a sharer .

He is a little concerned about finances whilst I am on maternity leave. I am sure we can manage for a short while.

So my questions- be honest- what happens to your riding whilst pregnant, with a baby, work-horse-baby juggling? Also managing financially? I am practical to know I wont be able to ride as often maybe once/twice a week.

I hope it will be manageable to keep everyone happy :-).

Thank you
 
You have to be realistic, which it seems like you are. You will need help and if you can't afford livery then a sharer is a good idea.

I manage having small children and a horse by renting a field where he lives out all year long which makes it easier.

You are lucky that your other half is supportive that will make a big difference.

Good luck!
 
I gave up jumping, competing etc but otherwise rode till eve before she was born. However she is a 14.2 I've had since I was 10 & she 2 so trust her implicitly. Didn't get to ride much when daughter was tiny, more because I was on my own with no support network than time/energy. Then worked ft, so wanted every free minute with her. Rode a few times a week, used to exchange babysitting of sleeping baby for free lesson/ schooling. Had a teen sharer from daughter being 1 for a year. From about 3 I hacked leading her, but its really only since she was 6 & capable of faster, off lr rides my riding freedom has come back. Financially it was a struggle, pony paid for herself really as having recently moved, she was responsible for getting new horsey contacts so I could freelance teach/ride. I stretched out a credit card & the sale of my other horse to stay at home till she was 9mnths, but that was because I literally walked out on my husband while pregnant & needed a house etc, rather than keeping a horse. I don't really compete anymore, now daughters 7 could easily keep one fit enough, but her having ponies all her life & as I'm the sole income for us means its not financially an option.
In short, I think kids & horses are perfectly easy to have together, assuming you are both healthy & horse isn't a nutter you can't take kids near. I think if I'd had a partner, or family/support, it would have been simple. However having responded to similar threads before, I fully expect several people will be along shortly to point out how wrong I am, & how impossibly difficult pregnancy, birth, newborns, toddlers, life etc is, & how hard it is to cope mentally & physically blah, blah, blah. But really, health issues aside, I think its really a case of if you want it to work, it will. My pony was my sanity when I was first pregnant, so not keeping her was never ever an option. And when baby was born, because I had no safety net of a partner or family, not coping just wasn't an option either. I think because of that, I never saw problems, just solutions & reasons to get on with it.
 
Rode til I was 6 months (it wasn't very comfortable!) then had a sharer hackher twice a week and I lunged her a couple of times. Back on ten days after giving birth and managed to ride weekends and once in the week by people at the yard pushing buggy round for half an hour while I rode.

I went back to work part time when baby was 7 months old and added a couple of hours onto nursery time so I can ride three times a week and the weekends now.

Stable duties etc I just did everything right up until baby was born including lifting hay bales and poo picking! perhaps shouldnt have but itshard when no one around to help out. When baby was little I would just make sure I took a bottle with me so that I could feed her up there if I ran out of time. I would wheel her round everywhere with me pulling wheel barrow behind (two wheeler!) Couple of times nap time even coincided with me riding so I just parked her in corner of school all wrapped up warm. Didn't happen much though to be honest!

Best buggy - out and about Nipper. Has been fantastic. Goes over all terrain and mud!

When she got older and started to get bored sitting in buggy it becamse a little harder but the groom at the yard was fantastic and helped me loads. Now she is nearly two and running around its great coz she wants to help.

I did have to put up with a fair amount of protest at times while I quickly whizzed round and got everything done but I just thought its 20mins out of her day - she can put up with it!!

If you have a supportive husband then thats the most important thing :)
 
Alot of my close friends have horses and children now, some more recently than others. The majority of them have horses which they know, trust and love very much and have moved them into fields with some shelter nearby so that its a bit easier.

Most of them continued schooling lightly/hacking whilst pregnant but stopped for 6 weeks or so when they had the baby. Other than that they are now checking on the horses in the field but they have mainly got sharers as theres not enough time in the day most days for riding too.

I will, in the not so distance future, also be planning a family with my partner. I've recently sold my horse who I competed on and now have my 2 remaining young'ns - Jorji is unfortunately not able to be ridden and Truffles is in the process of being backed by myself. Truffles has serious trust issues with other people but is very attached to me so to be honest with you my plan will be to have them close enough to walk to for checking on, and if I dont have time to ride for a couple months then I just wont as a sharer isnt an option at the moment. She will probably get put into foal if I was pregnant as there is no pressure on me to ride a recently broken mare whilst pregnant then.

Im sure its manageable, just have to cut back on some the luxuries for a while or get a sharer :)
 
I agree with Littlelegs if you want it to work you will find a way and especially with a supportive partner to help too. Just before becoming pregnant I moved my ridden horse to live out with my youngster and he is still field kept and loving it. If he had stayed on a livery yard he would have needed a sharer to help keep him sane plus the money would help. If you didn't want a sharer you could consider your horse living out? My horse living out means I can pretty much get on him and go and not have to worry too much if he hasn't been sat on for a week like I would if he was on livery/stabled. I couldn't be without my boys and being DIY field kept gives me something else non mumsy to do and in the nicest possible way escape too as well. I have my baby with me down the farm every day and can pooh pick with him in the carrier or leave him in his pram if he is sleeping. I won't be returning to work and only have three pay days left :( but luckily my husband is very supportive too both with money and time. I am already worrying a bit about him paying for things as I don't like asking for money I am glad he is not still on livery as I would hate having to ask for the amount my livery used to be a month. I also think its nice for my husband to have some time alone with our son so I don't feel guilty about escaping to the boys and going for a nice ride and some me time! Our son is 5 1/2 months and so far it has been easy (much easier then sorting two horses out around working full time anyway). Sure I will be saying different when he is running around but I guess that's what my stable is for lol.
 
I think, its really up to you how much, how little/how much you feel you can do when your pregnant, I gave up fairly sharpish but that's because I was a high risk pregnancy. When the baby is born don't put too much pressure on yourself if the horse is half an hour late having a feed because you were feeding the baby or the baby is crying because you've got caught up at the yard and its feed's late, it really doesn't matter. :) It can work !
 
My horse lives out about 9 months of the year. I also share duties with another livery. So I do one end of the day and she does the other = only once daily trips to the yard :).

Where your partners happy for you to continue riding? Not sure if I will have a battle as he not to keen. I trust my horse as very laid back can be a little spooky but only looks at everything nothing bad. Trouble is used to be a little firecracker (years ago) and my OH and parents focus on that. Even though is similar to riding on a beach donkey these days :) lol
 
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