Mogg
Well-Known Member
ok i have a dilemma and if im wrong then feel free to say so...
my neighbour has an 18mth old dog, lovely little thing, excellent temp. if a little bit too submissive and 'cringey'
Basically neighbour/friend works 7 hours a day Mon to Fri. As i take my dog to my yard daily, and they get on really well, i offered to take Peg too and have done since she was 6 months old. Usually at yard 3-4 hours then back to mine till friend gets in from work. My thinking was that its no extra work for me, dogs have company and friend didnt have to come home at lunch time to let her out. Ive also had her when friend has gone on holidays. This has worked ok and iv grown to be very fond of Peg.
Thurs night friend rang to ask if id have Peg overnight. i was knackered and feeling ill and wanted to go to bed, and the 2 dogs would be too much really but asked what the reason was, wondering family emergency etc....basically her on/off boyf who had been ignoring her texts etc for 2 weeks had suddenly rung to invite her to stay with him for a few nights. He is living at his parents, he doesnt like the dog and obv his non-dog owning folks who were going away for a long weekend wouldnt want a dog in their home.
I said, feeling a bit mean, that in the circumstances no i wouldnt have her dog. She then asked me if she (dog) would be ok left overnight to which i said imo no, and id be very cross if she did. Friend said she'd make other arrangements. I took Peg as normal with me on Fri and found her to be very clingy and quiet all day but i put it down to having been in different surroundings overnight. As i was leaving home Sat morning friend pulled up in car, no dog. I asked who was looking after her and friend said she had left her in flat Thurs and Fri nights, as shed decided it was only like going out to work and leaving her.
i was furious but calmly told her that imo leaving her for 12-13 hours (she left at 18.30-1900 and returned about 8am) even overnight was unfair, cruel and that i couldnt state how strongly i felt that she was wrong to do it, given that there was actually no reason for it as boyf regularly stays over when it suits him any other time. Also pointed out that she only works 7 hours a day normally and even then comes home at lunchtime to let her out if for any reason i cant have her.
I'll be honest i dont like the boyf, he's told her he doesnt want a relationship, doesnt love her and uses her as and when it suits. Shes an alcky, very needy and fools herself into thinking he does love her etc, and tho she whines constantly about him using her shes obv prepared to put up with it. She admits its cos its better than having no man at all. i'll also admit that my annoyance at this does colour my judgement. altho i have told her my feelings/views on their relationship i accept that its none of my business and leave her to get on with it, just picking up the pieces when she goes to bits cos hes ignoring her.
I told her Sat pm that id considered her actions and my feelings toward it, and decided that i should step away, no longer have any role in Pegs life and leave her care to her owner 100%. Friend said ok and obv. didnt mind as she left her alone again that night. Friend does walk her in the park at weekends but rest of time takes her into communal gardens.
i've been worried all weekend about Peg. i know that in stepping away she is the one who will 'suffer' the most as she enjoys her days with me and my dog. But i feel i need to make a stand to make her owner accept her responsibilities. its not as if shes a kid, shes 36 ffs
For example friend hasnt had her microchipped despite me reminding her constantly so im the one who had an id tag made for her, mainly because if she ran away whilst in my care i'd want to know she could be returned.
Even tho my dog doesnt poo in the communal gardens i leave a supply of doggie bags out and had to 'remind' friend to pick up poo every time after other neighbours quite rightly complained about mess.
I nagged her about vaccinations booster which she decided against 'because they're expensive and anyway she only needs them if she goes into kennels'
She only got her spayed when her dad offered to pay for it.
Am i cutting my nose off to spite my face? ultimately she isnt my dog and i have no say in how she is kept but should i just take her with me during th day and pop her back in before friend gets in from work so i dont need to see her? God i sound like a 14 yo! what would u do?
my neighbour has an 18mth old dog, lovely little thing, excellent temp. if a little bit too submissive and 'cringey'
Basically neighbour/friend works 7 hours a day Mon to Fri. As i take my dog to my yard daily, and they get on really well, i offered to take Peg too and have done since she was 6 months old. Usually at yard 3-4 hours then back to mine till friend gets in from work. My thinking was that its no extra work for me, dogs have company and friend didnt have to come home at lunch time to let her out. Ive also had her when friend has gone on holidays. This has worked ok and iv grown to be very fond of Peg.
Thurs night friend rang to ask if id have Peg overnight. i was knackered and feeling ill and wanted to go to bed, and the 2 dogs would be too much really but asked what the reason was, wondering family emergency etc....basically her on/off boyf who had been ignoring her texts etc for 2 weeks had suddenly rung to invite her to stay with him for a few nights. He is living at his parents, he doesnt like the dog and obv his non-dog owning folks who were going away for a long weekend wouldnt want a dog in their home.
I said, feeling a bit mean, that in the circumstances no i wouldnt have her dog. She then asked me if she (dog) would be ok left overnight to which i said imo no, and id be very cross if she did. Friend said she'd make other arrangements. I took Peg as normal with me on Fri and found her to be very clingy and quiet all day but i put it down to having been in different surroundings overnight. As i was leaving home Sat morning friend pulled up in car, no dog. I asked who was looking after her and friend said she had left her in flat Thurs and Fri nights, as shed decided it was only like going out to work and leaving her.
i was furious but calmly told her that imo leaving her for 12-13 hours (she left at 18.30-1900 and returned about 8am) even overnight was unfair, cruel and that i couldnt state how strongly i felt that she was wrong to do it, given that there was actually no reason for it as boyf regularly stays over when it suits him any other time. Also pointed out that she only works 7 hours a day normally and even then comes home at lunchtime to let her out if for any reason i cant have her.
I'll be honest i dont like the boyf, he's told her he doesnt want a relationship, doesnt love her and uses her as and when it suits. Shes an alcky, very needy and fools herself into thinking he does love her etc, and tho she whines constantly about him using her shes obv prepared to put up with it. She admits its cos its better than having no man at all. i'll also admit that my annoyance at this does colour my judgement. altho i have told her my feelings/views on their relationship i accept that its none of my business and leave her to get on with it, just picking up the pieces when she goes to bits cos hes ignoring her.
I told her Sat pm that id considered her actions and my feelings toward it, and decided that i should step away, no longer have any role in Pegs life and leave her care to her owner 100%. Friend said ok and obv. didnt mind as she left her alone again that night. Friend does walk her in the park at weekends but rest of time takes her into communal gardens.
i've been worried all weekend about Peg. i know that in stepping away she is the one who will 'suffer' the most as she enjoys her days with me and my dog. But i feel i need to make a stand to make her owner accept her responsibilities. its not as if shes a kid, shes 36 ffs
For example friend hasnt had her microchipped despite me reminding her constantly so im the one who had an id tag made for her, mainly because if she ran away whilst in my care i'd want to know she could be returned.
Even tho my dog doesnt poo in the communal gardens i leave a supply of doggie bags out and had to 'remind' friend to pick up poo every time after other neighbours quite rightly complained about mess.
I nagged her about vaccinations booster which she decided against 'because they're expensive and anyway she only needs them if she goes into kennels'
She only got her spayed when her dad offered to pay for it.
Am i cutting my nose off to spite my face? ultimately she isnt my dog and i have no say in how she is kept but should i just take her with me during th day and pop her back in before friend gets in from work so i dont need to see her? God i sound like a 14 yo! what would u do?
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Poor little dog. 
) My apologies.