stewing over an upsetting pony buying experience

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rhylis

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Not sure if I'm overreacting or if the experience we've had is just par for the course with buying horses?
Up until now over the years horses have kind of found me rather than me actively going out to buy them, but recently I've been trying to find a pony for my 8 year old daughter. I saw an advert for a pony who seemed ideal so I contacted the owner. It all sounded very good until she said that someone else had viewed him and liked him but had gone on holiday without saying they definitely wanted him. I offered to leave my details so she could ring me if they didn't want him. She was quite insistent that we come and see him beforehand as she said he wasn't sold.
So off we went, travelling a fair distance with a very excited little girl to see what could possibly be her new pony. He turned out to be pretty much exactly what we wanted, my daughter was instantly smitten! We offered the full asking price there and then at which point the owner said he wasn't available to sell until she heard back from the other people in 3 weeks time! It turned out that they were friends of hers not just people who had answered the advert. I was gobsmacked! We liked him so
much though that I didn't make a fuss and left on the understanding that we would buy him if they came back with a no. The owner gave the impression that this was very possible.
3 weeks have passed during which we've held off looking at anything else only to get an email saying that her friends have picked the pony up to take him to his lovely new home. She wished us luck with finding another pony.
I was absolutely hoppin mad! My daughter is devastated.
Perhaps I'm overreacting and this is just how it is. it's certainly made me very wary!
Thanks for reading all this, blimey I've ranted on for ages!!
 
Maybe she didnt realise how far you had to travel? TO be fair she did say come on the understanding that he might not be available although it doesnt sound like she stretched the truth a bit. Sorry your daughter is disappointed
 
People are arses, however, if they won't accept a deposit then you know they're not going to sell to you and you write it off straight away. Next time, if they won't accept a deposit start looking for something else and don't keep your daughter's hopes up.

btw, children are nearly always instantly smitten. I soon learnt not to take my daughter or husband with me because they fell in love with everything immediately.
 
Very frustrating for you and you have a right to rant. Sadly this is a reflection of buying which you havent had to endure up until now. Good luck with the search, I bet you find something even better round the corner :)
 
Yes I would be annoyed, echo the above about the deposit :) Hope you and your daughter find something soon ! there are some real gems out there at the moment.


P.s on a total different note im starving and now all I can think about is stew....
 
How unfortunate. Really, the owners should have taken the adverts down as basically he wasn't available to sell at that time.

Hope your daughter finds the perfect pony soon, she must be very disappointed. Three weeks is an eternity for children.
 
People rant about time wasting viewers, but we had more of our fair share of time wasting sellers whilst we were horse hunting. Some people are just @rses unfortunately. :( Hope you find the right pony for your daughter and have a better experience next time!
 
rhylis said:
Not sure if I'm overreacting or if the experience we've had is just par for the course with buying horses?
... It all sounded very good until she said that someone else had viewed him and liked him but had gone on holiday without saying they definitely wanted him...

We offered the full asking price there and then at which point the owner said he wasn't available to sell until she heard back from the other people in 3 weeks time!

only to get an email saying that her friends have picked the pony up to take him to his lovely new home. She wished us luck with finding another pony.

I was absolutely hoppin mad! My daughter is devastated.
Perhaps I'm overreacting and this is just how it is. it's certainly made me very wary!
Thanks for reading all this, blimey I've ranted on for ages!!
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I know you're disappointed but you knew up front that someone else who'd seen the pony first was interested. The seller told you she'd have a decision in 3 weeks and then contacted you again to let you know that pony was sold. Are you mad because the seller's friend bought the pony? There's plenty of ponies out there, this one just wasn't meant to be. Not sure if you said it to the seller but it would be wise to make an offer subject to vetting next time
 
Just remembered. I once had to wait 3 months for the horse my daughter had fallen in love with. Friends of the owner messed about blowing hot and cold before finally walking away.
I offered my daughter any other horse she liked but she said she only wanted him. The day they rang to say he was available, I ran to the bank, got the horsebox and bought him home, muddy and bedraggled but perfect. Phew !

The things we do for children, eh ?
 
dogatemysalad said:
Just remembered. I once had to wait 3 months for the horse my daughter had fallen in love with. Friends of the owner messed about blowing hot and cold before finally walking away.
I offered my daughter any other horse she liked but she said she only wanted him. The day they rang to say he was available, I ran to the bank, got the horsebox and bought him home, muddy and bedraggled but perfect. Phew !

The things we do for children, eh ?
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Gosh she has patience!!! I would have said "oh stuff it, i'll move on!"

Fair play!
 
jemima*askin said:
People are arses, however, if they won't accept a deposit then you know they're not going to sell to you and you write it off straight away. Next time, if they won't accept a deposit start looking for something else and don't keep your daughter's hopes up.

btw, children are nearly always instantly smitten. I soon learnt not to take my daughter or husband with me because they fell in love with everything immediately.
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The same goes for buying a puppy/kitten etc. If they don't want your deposit, presume that they're not going to sell to you.

But I really don't understand why the seller tells you that someone else is interested, but have gone on holiday, and not tell you that they had also promised the other potential buyer to not sell until they had decided if they wanted the pony or not, and to on top of that, insist on that you come and view the pony? :confused3: That is weird.
 
Not really fair of them but if they'd have said you couldn't buy him right away i might not have gone to see him.

There are lots of iffy sellers out there and you might have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the right one so might be worth doing a first viewing without your daughter so you can rule out all the wrong size, wrong age, nutter when ridden by owner, won't be caught etc. ones before your daughter falls in love with them all!!
 
I think she was really frank with you, and you chose not to continue looking which was a gamble. She chose to waite till her friends came back off holiday, they could have not wanted it and you could have found something more suitable, that was her gamble.
With PC type ponies you do tend to sell to people you know as you tend to know the type of home its going to, I would actually take less money for a pony being sold within a branch/area as you will continue to see it and if there is a problem you can get it back or if you have a younger child buy it back for them.
I would contact the local DC's they usually have a list of ponies for sale or know of ones being outgrown.
 
To be honest, if I had the choice of selling a beloved pony to someone I didn't know (however nice) and someone I knew well and knew would be a good home, I would hang on too.

She shouldn't have really let you come until they'd decided, but other than that she has been perfectly honest from the start.

Chin up, this is the time of year when lots of ponies come up for sale and there will be loads to choose from. And yes, every little child that came to see our Section A was in love, even when the pony had been completely unsuitable for them. We bought both my stepson's ponies without him seeing them or knowing, and both the families that bought them did the same!!
 
btw, you might need to let your daughter know about vettings. I assume if she falls in love with something and it fails the vet you won't be buying it - in which case it will be horrid mummy not horrid seller in her eyes.
 
Yes fair point about the deposit and the fact that there was the chance he could have failed the vetting. It's all a big learning curve I guess! It just threw me that on the phone and even during the viewing she was insistent that she hadn't sold him to her friend ( not that I knew it was a friend til right at the end). She was even quite unflattering about them giving the impression that it wasn't an ideal home for him but she was doing them the courtesy of waiting even though she'd prefer him to come to us. I think it's true that we were quite probably a backup plan.
It wouldn't have bothered me so much had she contacted me saying the other people had decided to buy him that would have been fair enough. It was the fact that the email was worded as if we had been casual visitors who'd come along for a free ride instead of potential buyers.

Oh well, live and learn! It's true there are loads of lovely ponies out there and my daughter will no doubt fall in love with many more before we find her a new friend ( she is insistent that she can keep riding her Shetland until she's at least 25, her not the pony!!)
 
FabioandFreddy said:
People rant about time wasting viewers, but we had more of our fair share of time wasting sellers whilst we were horse hunting. Some people are just @rses unfortunately. :/QUOTE]

This.

I usually refuse to travel for more than 1 hr/50 miles to view any horse (did make an exception for a gorgeous 3 yr old recently) because of the time I've wasted in the past.
OP, in future i suggest that you take a friend to the first viewing and if the pony is exactly as advertised and there is no other peculiarity in the situation that puts you off, you take your daughter to a 2nd viewing. That way you won't get her hopes up unnecessarily.
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I would be pretty annoyed aswell. I would say that it would be better to take your daughter along so she can try out the ponies, the more she looks the better a feel she will get for what she wants. She will also soon learn that there are lots of practicalities aswell. Good pony club ponies go pretty fast so a second viewing might lose you a good one. I have had an outgrown pony that the new owners really want but they havent come up with the money yet, two months later. I have not advertised her and the people who have contacted me to see if we are selling have been told that someone has first refusal and to keep looking . I havent shown her to anyone else (she is well known in the PC) and I have agreed a price 800 below the market price because I know they are the right home for her, they keep in touch and hopfully will pick her up soon .
 
honetpot said:
I think she was really frank with you
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I don't think this was being really frank, tbh. It sounds like she has used you as a bit of a bargaining chip. If they were friends, they must have know the pony quite well so if they tried it and then didn't make up their minds before they went away, the seller must have been a bit miffed - I would have been if it was a genuine pony I was selling to friends.

So I suspect she has encouraged you to go see it, and then been able to say to the others that she had a second buyer, and could they please make up their minds.

I would politely mention in your reply that your daughter is devastated and that it was a long way to travel, but don't be too off in case the original people back out - never burn bridges!
 
As frank as any buyer/seller relationship can be in this market. There are many ponies that are 'sold' and then end up not and back on the market for one reason or another.
If the seller had said that to me I would have continued looking, from the sellers point of view what if it hadn't passed a vetting. The last PC pony I bought I hadn't seen for six months, never had it vetted just asked if he was still sound or had any problems.
 
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