Strange horsey people you've had the misfortune of meeting!

LittleGinger said:
I know LOTS of strange horsey people - myself probably one of them :o - but they are all lovely. Utterly insane, but lovely :D:D

When I was a teenager I was next door to a lady who treated her horse like her son. Now... I 'baby' my horse and use nicknames and I chatter away to him all the time, but she would have full blown conversations with him (although they were rather one-sided).

As in, my chatter:
"Come on boy, let's get this rug on. Cold tonight! New rug - stay away from ***!"

Her chatter:
"Would you prefer the blue rug or the red one sweetheart?" [Pause]. "Is that the red one?" [Pause]. "Good choice! Let's put the red one on. Oh you're so smart... Let me see... No, look this way. That's it. Now, did I tell you about the new horse in the field? [Pause.] No? Ok... well, he rips rugs. So darling, what you need to do is - are you listening? - as I was saying, you need to stay away from him. He's the big bay one. Do you understand? Yes?"

This really was constant - she would even apologise to him if someone 'interrupted' to say hello or ask her something. She was totally batty... But you know what? She was harmless and her horse wanted for NOTHING so I loved hearing her really. If anything she made me chat to my horse more as I felt less self-conscious about it! :o:D I lost touch with her and heard a few years later from someone else that her horse had died; cried my eyes out for her... :(

Someone on here posted a fair while ago on a 'viewings from hell' thread about a lady who said she'd 'asked the horse and it didn't want to be ridden today' - made me laugh a lot but part of me did also wonder whether it was the same lady.

Then I've met plenty of crazy split-personality 'butter wouldn't melt/Lady Macbeth' types... :eek: I steer clear of them!
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You have a way with words - that made me laugh out loud!!

I do talk to mine and they have so many names I wonder if they get confused with what they are actually called some times...

Owned the one so long now we do practically have conversations and some times I have to look at him a certain way and raise my eye brows and sure he takes note!

I want more stories of the batty old woman!!
 
FaldingwoodLivery said:
I had a livery (now asked to leave) who could top the weirdest of weird, I actually thinks she needs to see a professional! Don't want to go into details as she is most likely monitoring every post I write on here but let's just say, constant lies, made up friends, made up life, made up Facebook profile she used to message me and other people she's fell out with.......weird!
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Oh I know one of those... Did she have a made up husband and holidays etc too.... not sure if she had made up children

Thing is EVERYONE knew about the fake life - and whilst being lovely - made you doubt any thing you said so people stopped talking to her which was sad...

She was really kind - and like over 50 and had obviously lived like this for so long think even she believed it ;-(

I think all horsey people are a bit mad - me included!
 
2 that stick out for me:

1 girl many, many years ago was my 'friend'. I didn't drive at the time so she would pick me up to save me having to bike, help with turn out/bring in & always seemed to be looking out for me & interested in what I was doing. However at the same time some very weird stuff was happening to me. Several times I entered events & when I called for my times a couple of days before I would be told that I had withdrawn. The withdrawal always seemed to happen after the point at which I would've got a refund as well :(
Then I was reported to the RSPCA. Then someone pretending to be me called my vets as an emergency on a Sunday saying my horse had colic when he was fine. Luckily the vet called my actual mobile to tell me they were on their way.
A couple of times I went into my stable in the morning & the bed was soaking wet & I mean soaking & squelching as if someone had turned a hosepipe on it & just let it run. It would have to be completely replaced. Bags of feed, bales of hay would just disappear. A brand new rug got slashed. All this happened over a year. My friend was always sympathetic when I got upset about it.
She ended up getting notice & having to leave over a different incident. Suddenly all the weird stuff stopped happening.
It was a few months later when another friend saw her out & she was drunk that she admitted it was her that had done it all. She thought it was hilarious & said it was because I was a stuck up bitch :(

The 2nd one was far less sinister. An older woman who had a totally unsuitable horse. She was terrified of it & never rode it, ever. Now this fine & any horse is happy just to be a pet provided its needs are met ...which this one was. However this woman spent a fortune on this horse. Every latest exercise boot & bandage, saddles & bridles that were never even tried on, personalised numnahs this list went on & on. Every week she would turn up having bought more unneeded stuff for the horse.
She also talked an amazing talk about the clinics & competitions she was going to. She even contacted some pretty top riders about training. To hear her speak you'd think she was pretty high level BD.
If you asked her what she was doing with him she would always say 'He's having a holiday he needs to grow up a bit'
She would always be arranging to go hacking, putting her name down for lessons even paying for clinics & competitions. Then at the last minute she would cancel....usually because she said she hadn't had a chance to ride him before :D
2 years I was on that yard & she had been there about 10 months before I got there & she didn't ride once not once. It honestly wasn't a question of she did but nobody saw her it was always 'well, he's just on a holiday at the moment'
One time her tack was moved to another tack room (YO swears she was told at the time) She didn't notice for over 4 months!
I've always wondered whether she honestly believed what she was saying & whether she really thought people thought that she did ride.....I really don't understand what was going on..., well apart from her being quite mad :D
 
Knowing what they are feeding is really bad for them but feels sorry for them even tho she is morbidly obese and hardly gets worked and still feeds her because others are getting fed or its abit cold, no matter that the mare had a full coat and so much fat no matter how much you dug in you couldn't find the ribs!.......drives me nuts! Espically after what we went through with our lami.
 
Nicnac said:
The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman :rolleyes:
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This is brilliant. I havent laughed so much in ages. Every time I think about it, it just starts me off again.

Poor horse. Did he get to fulfill his fireman dreams?
 
I think we are all a little bit mad - normal people do not get up a 7am on a Sunday and go and shovel poo for a few hours, normal people are not outside in February in the snow at 8pm at night going round and round in small circles, normal people do not well up with emotion when they manged to hack on their own/ jump clear round a course/ remember dressage test etc.

That said there is more mad people around horses than average IMHO. Best for me recently was a sharer I had for my horse now on loan - a few years ago we had loads of snow so the boys were in and no exercise for about a month. When she came back to start riding I asked her to keep in walk for a couple of weeks as they'd had so much time off - fine she said, that evening she told my husband she was going to ignore me and race around/ jump as much as she wanted when I was out so I wouldn't know !!!!

I'm not sure what she expected my husband to do with that information but she didn't ride again after that - my view is it's my horse - my rules and if I say he has to wear pink hi vis boots in the school or can only be lead in a diamonte headcollar - so what !
 
Nicnac said:
The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman :rolleyes:
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This cracked me up. I literally had tears in my eyes.

Why would a horse want to be a fireman? Why would a horse know what a fireman was?!?!?!

Can just picture a horse imagining himself using a hose and climbing a ladder
 
We had one that went a bit gaga. She started off all right, but was very good at ensuring everyone ran round after her. She had a Welsh Sec C that was forever getting out, and she'd see him do it and just leave, letting us run around after him. Then she started to get a bit odd. The highlight was her telling everyone in our small village that my husband and I were swingers with another couple who had a horse down at the yard. All because we spent time with the other couple - we have children the same age, for goodness sakes.

It all got a bit nasty, actually, and she went completely off the rails - threw her husband out, ran off with another woman and then the other woman's husband, stole ££££s of money from the yard owner, glassed someone in the face in a nightclub for teasing her about riding a pony, the list goes on.

Glamourpuss, I thought for one horrible moment you were talking about me...:D Owning a horse for two years and never riding (I did, you know, I rode her for about 9 months of that time); getting another and not having ridden him since September 21st!

Sorry about the other nutter - that was nasty.

I chatter incessantly to my horse. He's the only one who will listen half the time.
 
My horse was very unhappy at a yard she used to be kept at and the YO told me she thought it was because the horse was "too shiny" (horse had, and has, a very glossy coat) due to her "blood being too hot." Um, what?

Another YO back in the US swore that she "invented" natural horsemanship and Monty Roberts, Chris Irwin, the Dorrances, et. al. all learned what they know from her. Similarly, well known dressage riders apparently came to her for lessons, but I never saw any at the yard the whole summer I was there. She also used to shout at me for leading my horse around without a stud chain, arguing that if something were to spook the horse, how could I stop her in a normal halter? In addition, she could pick apart any aspect of your horse handling, from leading, to cleaning feet, to riding, and tell you some anecdote about how someone she knew had been doing it just that way, and then the horse freaked out and the person got horrifically injured or died.

On top of all that, she said she had another farm nearby where she kept rescued exotic wildlife -- lions and tigers and bears, oh my! She was batsh ** t crazy enough for it to be true, or indeed, for it to be completely made up. She had stories about taking her tigers for walks.

The final thing, really (and I have surely written about this on here before) was I went home for two weeks (this was in New York; my parents live in a different state). I asked her to ride the horse for me. About halfway through my wee holiday, I phoned her, as you do, just to see how the horse was getting on. She told me she had the vet out to test my horse for EPM. WHAT??? (for those who don't know, it's a neurological disease that exists on the East Coast of the US and they get it from opossums. The symptoms include loss of coordination, falling over, etc.). I asked why and she said my horse was stiffer to the right than to the left. Well, I said, aren't most horses stronger to one side to the other? She told me that more horses have EPM than are ever diagnosed. It's like diagnosing a person with MS because they only use their right hand for writing. The vet had pulled blood and guess who had to pay for that blood test I never asked for? Not impressed.

A person who kept her horses at another livery yard I used to be at once, after falling out with her horse -- not an uncommon occurrence -- said to me, "Do you know why the parade horses for the military are so well-behaved?"

"They're trained?" I suggested.

"Yeah, if those horses misbehave, they're tied up for three days without food and water."

"Uh," I said, "I really doubt that."

"No," she answered, "It's true. That's what they do."

Okaaaay.
 
One livery I had here some years ago ( an adult lady holding down a high powered job) She arrived with her cob that was lame on all four legs. I was told to feed it on Meadow Hay as that was higher protein than seed hay. When I queried this I was told that she had her Riding Club Phase 1 qualificiation so she knew everything! (Worrying?)

I was also told that her horse liked to wear red as it suited her!

She also told me and the person with me that we did not know what we were talking about when I discussed feeding with her - problem was the person with me was my eqine vet and incidentally I passed my Pony Club A test in a previous life!!!!

Fortunately livery moved house and removed her horse which saved me the trouble of evicting her!!
 
One springs to mind, you know the type, the complete fantasist who has done 'everything', broke in various wild horses and has survived some seriously nutty horses to tell the tale.. But when observed are not very confident around horses at all...
 
My first liveries ever......god knows how it didn't put me off, were a mother and daughter.
Daughter (in her 20's) had a coloured pony of about 13.2 but was told it was two and it would grow to 15.2 (it actually turned out to be 4 years old) and mother had a sensible black cob.......first horse and never rode it once the 3 months she was at mine.
Anyway i got so sick of telling them their horses had no water in their field,they really took offence to it.... bearing in mind it was july and they were living out. They decided to move to a different yard where they could just "leave them out to get on with it" and they could just forget about them!

I still wonder if the two horses are managing to "get on with it" filling up their own water buckets, poo picking etc etc.
 
I did my work experience at a full livery yard and the YO was a nutter! I was 14 or 15 at the time, didn't have too much experience either. Apart from the RS Horses and Ponies. The other girl from my school had no clue whats so ever as she had never been around Horses before.

When we got there she looked at us and said to me "you will be good as your very small and slim so must be fit" she then looked at the other girl and said "your going to be crap because your a big girl so will be slow and lazy"

She told us to muck out with our hands only. Wasn't a problem as I borrowed some merrygolds ;) as did the other girl. She then said how weird we were for wanting gloves, we then had lunch and washed our hands before we ate. She again said how weird we were. Her hands were stained brown with Horse muck and she would lick her fingers clean :o now I do eat at the yard, but not if my hands were THAT dirty. She used to send us to get the Horses in, while she sat in the tearoom. Most of the Horses were well behaved, but there were the odd ones who wern't as easy to handle (2 of them were hers) But she didn't seem to have a problem with us leading them :o at the time I didn't think much of it. But now I look back, I wouldv'e been fuming if someone else had been handling my Horse without my knowing, especially as 1 didn't have any idea how to handle Horses at all.

One day she dropped a Horse off and told us to get in the car. There was no space in the back (she had bedding there) so friend had to sit on that and I was in the front. She had 2 yard dogs, she insisted they came, the jumped on me and spent the whole journey barking at me and scratching at me. I asked her to sort them out and she replied "but thats their seat and your sitting on it" erm where else should I sit? the boot!!

The day before she left she ordered 100 bales of straw and 100 of hay. She said that me and other girl had 10 minutes to move it in the barn and stack it, she could do that herself easily. :rolleyes: it took us hours :o she then said to me "You will never have anything to do with Horses again, you are slow and weak" then said to other girl "you are very strong so you can work with Horses"

I am Horse mad and the other girl has gone back to having nothing to do with them.
 
I have had some strange liveries (all left thankfully!).

First one was a control freak who talked to me like I was his servant. He had a set date regardless of the weather of when his horse should wear a certain rug. It did not matter if she sweated or was too cold, the rugs were decided on by the date. I once changed her HW for her MW because she was sweating, and he gave me a good telling off. He developed an intense dislike for any field companion that I put his horse in with and demanded I changed it. Finally, when she was on her third companion ( a lovely sweet natured mare) I refused to change her again. So he started taking bags of food into the field and feeding his horse and chasing off the companion quite aggressively. He accused the companion horse of trying to run him down and kill him. Finally, when I caught him throwing things at the horse, we asked him to leave the yard and gave him a month's notice.

Another livery bought an ex racehorse out of the field. He was in a sorry state when he arrived here, and we fed him up and she would spend at least three hours a day just stroking him whilst he was tied up. She also travelled an hour each way to come and do this. She never tried to ride him. As time went by he became more and more difficult to handle. I had him on full livery and so the problems were affecting me. She would frequently let go of him and he learnt to bolt whenever being led. He would rear up and barge you over. He hurt me no end of times, but all offers of help were refused. The only time he became better was when I persuaded her to let me lunge him a few times and he became lovely to handle again, but soon reverted back as soon as she took over. She moved after a couple of years to somewhere that was closer to where she lived. The new yard owner rang me up a couple of weeks later asking what the **** she was up to with this horse. Did she always stroke him for hours every day etc?

I had another one who seemed sane to start with, but overly friendly and familiar. She gradually caused disharmony in the yard, frequently falling out with other owners over the silliest of things and phoning me in tears and screaming how she could not stand it etc. She did finally leave and the yard returned to its friendly atmosphere.
 
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Springy said:
has a brush head across the front of his stable door so a draft doesnt come under the door....

"whispers"...I sweep a shavings "barrier" to stop the draft coming under the door...pony always lies down opposite the door and I'd hate to think of a draft on his tummy...
"slinks off back to padded cell"
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The woman next to us would phone me any time of day if it was raining near her work and ask me to bring her horse in. It didnt matter that I was at work or elsewhere. I wouldn't do it but her old yard sharer would rush up there abandoning her shopping or even once a hospital appointment. She no longer speaks to us and we have issues with her for three years now lol.
 
She told us to muck out with our hands only. Wasn't a problem as I borrowed some merrygolds ;) as did the other girl. She then said how weird we were for wanting gloves, we then had lunch and washed our hands before we ate. She again said how weird we were. Her hands were stained brown with Horse muck and she would lick her fingers clean :o now I do eat at the yard, but not if my hands were THAT dirty.

That has made me feel quite sick, very weird. I do muck out with my hands as I find it easier but I DO wear very good gloves.
 
Hmmm... well there was the woman who accused me of not knowing what I was on about, and of mistreating the horse because I changed farrier and arranged for back man and saddler (it was lame). Oh and I was cruel to take it off sugar beet because everyone knows that its the sugar beet that keeps a horse warm in the winter :rolleyes: Now I know I'm no expert but wtf?

This is the same woman who has had her tb x in the same HW turnout since September, and who managed to put a pair of brushing boots on upside down and back to front.....
 
I was really quite friendly with one lady.... Went to view a project horse with her and was there on every visit, she forwarded emails from the owner so we could talk it all through as I would be taking on her other mare if she got this one....

Things went wrong, we fell out, over the next year or so I heard the tale of the new horses arrival many, many times... Told to the farrier, back lady, friends etc. apparently horse was virtually wild when she got it, couldn't be touched (I was there when she rode it within 15 minutes of meeting it when we visited). Beaten by traveller owners, she had to learn to communicate with it...... BONKERS.

Same woman weaves her own Hay nets, when I left the yard I had to 'take' one with me just for the memories and smiles it raises!
 
At one livery yard we were at years ago, the very dodgy husband of one of the liveries used the yard as his alibi, when questioned by the police about a criminal deception. Unfortunately for him, the day he picked was Easter Sunday, the two police officers, the teacher, the district nurse and the social worker who liveried there all knew he hadn't been near the yard that day :D The police took a lot of statements about it. It was even funnier as the YO's live in housekeeper was the sister of a member of the Serious Crime Squad :D
 
My lodger is a bit of a strange horsey person. She's "had horses for years" and ridden numerous types including one that reared when you tried to get on it and "you just had to get on quickly"!! However, when she met mine she squealed when they walked in her direction (they're both OAPs) and when I asked her to put a rug on, she wasn't sure what to do with the leg straps! She thinks dressage is painfully cruel and horses should be ridden without bridles. Or saddles. The worst thing is she's a Parelli fan and I have to politely listen when she talks about it. I don't mean to offend but I've had awful experiences with Parelli!
 
:eek:what a lot of nut jobs about.

That reminds me of one woman we had at a previous yard. She had been to every yard in the area and got thrown off. My YO took her in as felt sorry for her and thought she could help her. She had a 2year old Arab cross called Kel I think :confused: she had no experience what so ever but was into Parelli and shebmummified her horse, in a baby way as some of you others have described. The horse was getting bigger and took th absolute mick out of her, so it wouldn't lead or catch from the field. She decided she wanted to put it I'm foal :eek::eek:

One day someone tried to help her with something I think and they got dogs abuse. She'd done something with hay if my memory serves me right and the woman that was in charge of the yard went down to talk to her and she pulled a knife out!:eek: she got told to leave and we later heard that she had been an alcoholic and had ran her husband over !! :eek::o

From my first post, the woman in that wont allow her horse near anyone else's. it's field is on the other side of the yard and if its tied up and a horse goes by(with loads of room) she runs out to it as if its going to get eaten alive?! She also re ties her haynet at least 6 times in the evening before she leaves. Yes I have counted!:rolleyes:
 
A yard I was at had an alcholic livery who was always turning up to see to her horse drunk. It would frequently appear back from a hack riderless cos she had fallen off in her drunken state. The final straw was her driving up to the yard very drunk one day and attempting to load said horse (fat, unfit and wearing a hackamore made out of a bike chain) into the trailer to go to a hunter trial. Some adults at the time had to wrestle her car keys off her and she was driven home. When she left shortly after, we gutted out her stable and found a dozen empty vodka bottles hidden in the straw banks!!!

Another was a married couple (different yard), who would go to the field together to catch their horse and be gone ages. Turns out they were having sex in the field shelter, completely unaware that the neighbouring farmhouse had a perfect view :)
 
Wagtail - have we met in a previous life? Have I been on your yard in some sort of parallel world?
Hahahaha.

I can relate to many of the "types" outlined above - but isn't it funny how many of them that seem to be - over familar/ friendly to start, and then display manic or phsychotic behavior!? Very sad actually, in that some seem to trying to live out a dream they can never fulfil and there's a poor horse stuck in it with them!

I started out in Madsville! All my gang ( 8 - 9 years) used to hang about a yard where an old girl kept three or four horses and a pony or two - all of them had mental problems brought on by the way they were kept. The home yard was a domestic back garden literally filled with Ford tractor export boxes - they were the "stables" I once spent a wet afternoon pulling out proud nails! The horses were in most of the time apart from when they were hired out - by anyone!!! 3/6 an hour - pay up and off you go. Us lads would try and work our way to an hour out. One by one, all my mates fell off or were kicked out - if you know the words of Elton John's Brown Dirt Cowboys - that's the picture absolute heaven. Once, I took her completely mad TB for an early bite down the lane only to have him turn and take the bits out of me - he gave me both back feet too and I still have a lump on one collar bone, of course I let him go and was berated for so doing - I've never let another one go or taken one out I didn't think I could control - I also learned to eat horse poo on my fingers and loved it.

Later on I met an old farmer where we liveried our first pony - he'd clear his throat and spit on the floor in front of anybody but scream across the yard at people for being "Higgorant"!

How about the guy who trained princess soandso "for free so that all her f*ing stupid friends would come" this said while spraying his office with biscuit crumbs - I saw him attack a livery horse because of the owner's misdeeds - slagging off his missus to me ( I hardly knew the guy!)

A mother daughter duo that came to livery who fought like cat and dog - sometimes it was like one of those cartoons of a little cloud with arms and legs protruding - and swear!! And I've been on building sites half my life!

My last yard owner, where I not only stabled my mare for seventeen years but also worked as estateman for another ten - extremely unpredictable all the time, all over me one minute then badmouthing the next - said I could bury my mare on site and then reneged on the promise when she died - then sold up and never even said goodbye. To me, leaving that place was like a divorce - I'm still miffed.
 
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