Strange question???

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fitzaud2

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This might seem like a mad one, but your opinions would be appreciated. I'm a single mum of 2 fab kids, who are both pony mad. I love my horses, alot more than I probably should, so shoot me. I've been in a new relationship since last christmas, with an amazing guy, who is mad about my kids. At the moment, however, he lives abroad, so we dont have the day to day stuff going on. I'm just worried that when he comes home for good, my children, and my horses, or more so, my routine, will be very hard to break. So should I expect him to just "fit in", or do I really have to change things!! (By the way, he's petrified of horses - one bad experience when he was young).
Can people with totally different hobbies survive? I'm clueless, this relationship thing baffles me, at least with the children and horses, i know what they're looking for most of the time.

Any opinions would be gratefully accepted!!
 
Sorry can't really help but I can say that yes a couple with completely different hobbies can survive, you just have to be willing to change your routine to accommodate them a bit.

I have been with my OH for over 6 years. He does not care for horses and doesn't understand why I do, he plays guitar and TBH I'm not a huge fan of most of the music he plays and listens to...BUT...he will come down to the yard to see me and the horse once in a while to keep me happy...maybe be my photographer at shows, and I will go with him and support him at open mic nights and go to some gigs etc. So it can work! :)
 
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Ooh now, there's a question!

You might find, if you're getting on well enough, that you don't mind changing your routine a bit for him to fit into it... and he may well do the same for you :)

I think all relationships take a bit of adjustment and getting used to, so don't worry if it takes a little time, and enjoy the novelty of it all.
 
Im sure youll be fine, if he takes to horses great, a helping pair of hands, if not hell be glad he dosnt have a clingy partner ) pluses and bonuses in both i think its healthy for people to have intrests of their own, whether joint or not im mean my hubby, i wouldnt like to share ned with him , or ned wouldnt want to share me ?
 
I absolutely believe this COULD work depending how much you both want it to.

I met my husband online when I was 14 and he was 26. Met in person when I was 18, moved from California to Wales, married him and had Caleb exactly one year later.

He doesn't have 'hobbies'- he has obsessions (he's autistic and so is our son). I have no interest in photography and he has no interest in horses, but we work it out, make compromises, try to talk things through.

If you two are right for eachother, I firmly believe everything else will come with time. But you do have to be willing to make compromises for that to happen.
 
course it will !! My hubs has noooooo interest in horses, but will come down and help if I need it. I have noooooooooo interest in snowboarding, but I'll go and take photos of him......

It'll be fine, things will just take time to settle down into a routine. Best of luck sm xxx
 
Im a football widow which is great now the season started and he's also allergic to horses tho he does come to xc's to watch. I do compromise by trying to have lessons in the week and try to do evening comps so gives us sundays together. I just make sure that if i'm competing I write it on the calendar so He knows. About every 3 years we have a row about we 'never do anything together'. Luckily most of my horsey mates OH's are all mates so they can all go out down the pub and moan about us.
 
My OH has a strange hobby all to do with little men and war etc. We get on fine, he has his time at his hobby and I have my time with my horses. We've been married a long time now, so it can work. I hope it works for you and your new guy. :)
 
My husband races cars... I ride horses. Both hobbies give us time on our own to do our hobbies... my little lad is more into ponies atm but I'm sure this will change... c'est la vie - men seem to like their 'horses' under a bonnet.

I'm sure your fella will fall in to line and if he doesn't are you going to give up your horses for him????

Blitz
 
Hi, I wouldn't change anything for a man, especially one youv'e not been with long, no matter how lovely they are.
Before I met my lovely Hubby I vowed never to let a man change what I do again, so id still keep your routine and let him fit in arounf it.

:)
 
Not going to get too focused on whether it will work or not. i hope it does, but if it's to be, it will be. My ex was into horses, and that didn't work, so maybe it works better NOT to have the same hobbies. Thanks for all the comments though, really didnt think it would get any replies.
 
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I've been with OH for 15 years, we have always had almost separate lives. I like that, he doesn't too much and it caused a lot of problems last year and at the beginning of this year. Mainly the problems were caused because he wasn't doing his thing anymore (motorbikes). Recently he bought another fast one and things are much better again. I have always said to him that I will not give up the horses for him but it took him a while to understand that was mainly because I would not want to stay with anyone that insisted I gave up anything for them.

You can't predict whether you'll get on or not really, it's all about communication and compromise - we now have 1 day at the weekend which is nominally ours, although practically that doesn't always happen.
 
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