Strangulating Lipoma

[wizgirl]

Hi

I tragically lost my best friend Mr Wiz to a strangulating Lipoma last Monday. He was in the equine hospital with 2 hours of us finding him, but we lost him. He had lost 3.5 metres of his intestine and the vet advised a 20% survival. She also advised that we probably be looking at having to make the decision to PTS in a few days where he would have been in post operative pain. I just couldn't put him through that and made what I felt was the right decision based on info. We had said money was no object and she had said she would ring only if it was not in his best interests to continue. She rang 😢

I am grieving really badly and now the what ifs have raised there ugly head. I am devastated and struggling to come to terms with it all. I miss him so much. How do you cope with the what ifs, the grief and coping. It's a week today and I'm falling apart without him 😢😢😢😢💔💔💔💔

 

[Pinkvboots]

I am so sorry for your loss the what ifs are a natural thing when you loose a horse unfortunately have been through it myself driving yourself mad with have I done the right thing, I think under the circumstances you really had no choice I don't think I would have carried on with a 20% chance of survival, you saved him from further suffering and sometimes that's all you can do for them at the end, it's only been a week of course you will be hurting but I promise it does get easier try to focus on all the lovely times you had and what a great life you gave him, take care and have a hug from me x

 

[sidsmum]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my boy last Christmas to the same thing.
All I can say is, you did the right thing. The vet did the right thing. You will go back and to, thinking about all of the possible what ifs there are.

My boy Dylan, had an operation, came through but then went downhill. I was advised that they had to open him up again to know why. It turned out there was another lipoma buried deep in the intestine that they had missed. They didn't bring him around.

It was so painful for me to see how unhappy and uncomfortable he was after the op that my misgivings were if only I had somehow known and not put him through it.

But I didn't, and the vet and nurses didn't.
We all acted on the information in front of us and that's all anyone can do.

Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve. I too was a complete wreck for quite a while. It is going to hurt and only time will help you to accept what has happened. Eventually you will find that you will be able to look at photos of Mr Wiz and to talk about him with smiles instead of tears - but it will take time and that's natural. Big hugs and again, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If you need/want a chat, feel free to PM me. x

 

[wizgirl]

Thanks so much for your kind words. It's just so devastating loosing your friend xx

I tried so hard. I am just driving myself mad with would he have pulled through, could I have saved him. SIDS mum, what you went through is what they advised me was likely to happen. Pinkvboots imdrving myself mad. I have a brick in my chest all he time xxxx

 

[Pinkvboots]

You can't beat yourself up over it honestly you did the right thing as much as it hurts I know I have been there twice, Both times I have analysed what happened been over and over it in my head and it does drive you mad but believe me it does pass it gets easier but it takes time, do you have some friends you can spend some time with and try to have some time not thinking about it to much it really does help.

 

[Goldenstar]

How awful .
I have a horse who appears to have mass on his bowel it's what probably something similar will happen to him .
It's taken me a while to read your post because of this .
Time will make it easier for you and you will spend time remembering the best parts of his life with you not the end .
Have a hug.