Struggling for horse time!

emmanash

emmanash

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Hi all,
I'm a mum to 2 lovely children, plus a horse owner and have recently started working part time 20hrs a week.
I'm finding it really hard to fit in any quality horse time and it's starting to get me down.
I did manage to ride 4 times last week but nothing since last wednesday so it's pretty erratic. My poor horse probably wonders what's going on and I feel really guilty about my lack of time with her she deserves better than this.
Has anyone got any words of wisdom or experiences to share with me? Just to know i'm not the only one in this situation would be a comfort!
thanks for reading x
 
Hi emmanash - how old are your kids?

I also have 2 kids and I work full time and its not easy when they are younger. My two are 14 and 11 now and my other half recently lessened his hours at work to provide childcare for after school as he works closer to home - so that has freed up a lot of time for me now as he is home by 3.30 and I finish at 4pm every day. I have worked all kinds of shifts though, from weekends only to 3 13 hour shifts a week - trying to find the right balance is a nightmare and sometimes I felt like I hadnt seen my horse in ages never mind ridden. Its easier now they are a bit older though and are a bit more independent, with friends of their own and hobbies - meaning I get to drop them off at clubs and vanish to the yard for a few hours. Sometimes its still really exhausting though - my mum always tells me I do too much and Im always tired but its so totally worth it to get to ride my boy - I even went DIY last year and moved him closer to home and thats worked out ok despite my initial panic over not having enough time.
 
Hi, you don't say how old your children are. The younger they are, then the more of your time they need. Mine are now 13 and 15, so I have more 'me' time than I've had for years. I've only recently bought my horse (my first one). I'm not sure I would have been able to fit in children, working and a horse.

So, to fit in 4 rides in a week, I think shows some good organisation.

Could you perhaps enlist the support of your OH, grandparents etc to have the children on specific days/evenings to free up those days?

Perhaps you could consider a share 2/3 days of the week to keep your horse's routine busy? and then have 'set' days for you - with the support of your family to enable you to stick to these days.

It's not easy juggling children, work and horses - so well done :)
 
Thanks for your replies. My children are 5 and 7, so quite young and time consuming! I was wondering about putting her onto part livery because she's DIY at the minute although she's out 24/7 so there's no stable chores at the moment.
I'm sure it'll work out ok, I did manage 4 rides last week although 2 of them were only about half an hour! At least she got out I guess! I worry that she'll get bored in her field, do you think horses mind not being ridden? Part of me thinks they don't give 2 hoots and are happy pottering around munching with friends, and then I also think that they enjoy going out and might feel left out and ignored!
 
I guess it depends what kind of horse you have, but my old mare couldnt care less if she is ridden or not! Which is a good job, because during the holidays, she barely gets ridden at all!! I'm sure your horse wont mind! Provided it has what it needs (food/water/etc) they care less about us that we like to think!!!!

(....apart from my 3 yr old, who now he has started to work, thinks that he should be doing exciting stuff *every* day!!!)
 
My horse is very happy mooching in the field. When my son was young, if all else failed and during the holidays, I used to park the car in the field (or gateway if muddy), buy a shed load of sweets/crisps/fruit/comics and leave him there with his nintendo whilst I had a schooling session. It was better than not riding at all.
 
I think the true secret of getting anything done when you have kids is organisation. I find things like doing a pile of sandwiches for lunch box in one go/cooking double portions of meal/making double mix for cakes/quiches etc chop 2 pr 3 onions and bag as portions and freezing the surplus to become 'one I made earlier' actually saves loads of time, it's a matter of moments longer to spread/chop/cut/cook/bake etc but saves so much long term. Also the slow cooker is your friend.
Ditto things like haynets, I make up a bales's worth at a time.

Also if you don't already, start delegating tasks to your children - at 5 and 7 they should be able to get things out and make up their own lunch boxes for example (and empty them out when you get home), or to load the washing machine/unload/load the dishwasher. Needs a little supervision but should free up time for you.

Also work up a network of friends through school - invite your childrens friends frequently when it suits you (I find an extra 2, 3 or 4 children really don't make any difference to my workload so our house is always busy if I'm not) and see if you can tailor the return invites so both go to tea on the same day or together to free time up for you to ride? If your school is like ours there are plenty of single child mums who prefer extra children to come to play as it's easier than having just your one

Finally I have to make the effort to plan to do something for me, otherwise it doesn't get done.
 
I dont think most horses mind not being ridden providing they are out 24/7. They are happy providing they have friends and food. I dont think horses have the brain capacity to get bored tbh unless they are stabled 24/7. You just have to accept that you cant go out and do lots when they arent fit enough. No mad galloping around the countryside. Just a gentlle plod and a bit of schooling. Just key everything down and keep him healthy if not fighting fit.

Your children are only young once and they need time too. They will grow up very quickly.
 
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