Struggling with losing a dog

M

MuffettMischief

Well-Known Member
Joined
25 April 2016
Messages
380
Visit site
As the title really. I lost my dog last week after 14 amazing years together and I’m lost. I can’t stop bloomin crying , I can’t bring myself to move any of his stuff, everything I do reminds me of him somehow. I’m a bloody mess. I knew I’d find it hard but I’m surprised at how hard it has hit me. I don’t know what the point of this post is really apart from maybe someone to tell me it’s normal to be an emotional wreck and I’m not being dramatic. The world keeps on spinning and I’m really struggling. Why do we do it to ourselves 😢
 
Of course it is absolutely normal to grieve. I was a total mess after loosing my horse and he consumed every thought for weeks and months really. I found his “box” very comforting. I had a chunk of his hoof in it (a clipping from a trim not long before he passed I kept because it looked cool lol) some hair and his passport. I would look at them and touch them several times a day. Over time this got less and less. I still miss him madly but I look back with a smile instead of empty longing.
 
I am so sorry, yes it is very normal but that doesn't make it any easier or less painful. You will slowly start to feel able to enjoy your memories without that horrible heartbroken sadness all the time. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve, your grief is a reflection of how much you loved your dog and how much you were loved to. 💔
 
I’m sorry to read of your loss….you’re in the right place as so many of us have experienced wrenching losses of our beloved pets.
Any and all reaction to any death is valid. Allow all the feelings. Allow your unique grief process to unfold.
I read a saying the other day stating ‘anger is often repressed grief’ - which i’ve personally witnessed in non-emotional people.
To love inevitably means to lose it at some point, but it’s not lost within our heart memory, ever.

When my dog died i bawled for weeks randomly. Seeing a paw print in mud as i worked on the land would have me streaming tears. Seeing fur for weeks..months afterwards…she was a fur monster!…i so missed the joyous free loyal companionship dogs especially are known for sharing with us.

Over time the void of her loss became naturally filled with joyful memories. I can see pictures and videos without choking now. It takes time, yet it does happen. There is always the missing of them, but it can become transformed into deep gratitude for having shared that connection together.

Big hugs, loss is never easy xx
 
I lost my two old dogs within 18 months, the eldest quite recently, who was also 14 and he was a huge personality and we had been through a lot together, it's really hard not having him here and the house does feel very empty.
I have questioned whether I will have another dog after my remaining one goes.
I still have to take down a crate and do something with the two tubes on the mantelpiece and I'm finding less and less long wavy black hairs everywhere.
He was very heavily photographed and filmed throughout his life, which is nice.
One of my favorite famouses died at around the same time so I've been redirecting and watching their entire back catalogue from the 80s onwards every night for weeks and being sad about that instead.
 
So sorry for your loss. You are no different to the rest of us, it’s extremely hard to come to terms with whatever age they leave us. They just don’t stay long enough and one is never prepared.
We do it because of the wonderful years we do have. I have heard people say they will never do it again but dogs enhance our lives and I wouldn’t be without one. Their short lives are the price we pay.
Very gradually you will cope better and remember good times with a smile. The memories will never leave you. ❤️🐾
 
I am so sorry. I lost my first lurcher at 14 and it floored me much more than I expected, I remember walking through our fields the next day with all the other dogs and absolutely bawling my eyes out. I said I would never have another, then about 18 months later a new lurcher pup came into my life, a snap decision and absolutely the right one.

Your grief is different and yet the same as all of ours, whether dog, horse, parent or mouse. We all stand there with you.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is absolutely normal, and the price we pay for loving our pets. I have never been in the situation where I haven't had a dog in the house, the nearest was 3 years ago when for the first time in my life I didn't have a GSD, I was bereft. It does get better , and you will be able to look back at the memories and smile, but it takes time.
 
When I had my old boy put down I couldn't say his name for about a month. I used to buckle at the knees if anyone mentioned him. I have never known grief like it. Its 3yrs now and I still miss him, but I can look at his photos and smile and tell people about the naughty things he used to do and laugh about it. I do get a tinge of sadness sometimes as my youngest dog now would have loved him, they would have made a terrible twosome though, so probably a good thing they never met.
 
It's normal and it's the worst and I'm so sorry you have to endure it. If you need our collective experience to permit you to be an emotional wreck and cry and rant at the world you have it. We know.

I lost mine 8 months apart which felt like a relentless, battering wave of grief with no respite - if I've ever had an annus horribilis it was that one. Three years on I can talk about them now without crumpling into a heap but the tears are still close if I dwell on it too much. It does get easier with time but I understand that is small comfort right now.
 
It’s definitely normal, I cried every time I spoke about Koby for 6 months, and I still cry now after 3 years if I’m feeling emotional. One week is nothing, it’s still raw and it will take a long time to heal as they leave such a big hole!
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. Its very normal to grieve and cry and be devastated. I still struggle with the loss of my little cat 2 yrs ago. Be kind to yourself and grieve the way you need to.
 
It's perfectly normal what you're feeling. After I lost my second jrt (I lost two within a year), I honestly thought I was going to end up kidnapping someone else's terrier because I missed mine so much.
Sending you hugs.
 
It is definitely normal and you will be quite raw and emotional and that's ok too. I definitely find having more than one dog helps, as whilst you are distraught over losing one having another that says hey Mum I am here too helps I found. Big hugs x
 
I met up with a friend today who lost her beloved dog three months ago. She's still grieving terribly for him, and there were tears as we spoke of him.

Your feelings are totally understandable.

I'm so sorry for your loss xx
 
Why do we do it to ourselves? Perhaps because it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all but the price of love is grief. You are grieving which hurts and comes in waves which you can’t control. Crying is good for you so cry as much as you like and gradually the waves of grief will calm. Don’t listen to anyone who says ‘you will get over it’. You won’t and why should you although it will get easier. However that doesn’t mean that one day, when the time is right for you, you won’t love another dog. You are completely normal!
 
I’m so sorry, it’s awful and absolutely to be expected that you’re so upset. It was a year ago this week that we lost Bear, very suddenly. One of my students asked about his picture today and I had a hard job not getting emotional. I think the Bluecross do grief counselling services for the loss of a pet. I think it’s an extremely difficult thing to go through.
There are other services available if you Google grief counselling for pet loss:

1741120310057.png
1741120310094.png
1741120310120.png
+2

You can call Blue Cross's Pet Loss Support line at 0800 096 6606. The line is open every day from 8:30 AM–8:30 PM.

Other ways to contact Blue Cross Pet Loss Support:
  • Email: plsmail@bluecross.org.uk

  • Webchat: Chat live with a trained volunteer from 8:30 AM–8:30 PM every day

  • Online form: Contact using a confidential form

  • Facebook: Join the private support community moderated by Blue Cross's expert team



CorvusCorax said:
I lost my two old dogs within 18 months, the eldest quite recently, who was also 14 and he was a huge personality and we had been through a lot together, it's really hard not having him here and the house does feel very empty.
I have questioned whether I will have another dog after my remaining one goes.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry to hear this. He sounded like a fabulous dog. 😢
 
The price of love is indeed grief.

I cried today because I *thought about* my dog getting older (he’ll be 10 in May) and the inevitable to come. Hoping he has at the very least another 5 years in him, (they’re a long-lived breed) but literally just the thought of it had me welling up! It’s going to be unbearable. So, no, I’m not surprised at all that it’s hit you this hard. Let yourself grieve; it is perfectly normal.
 
It’s nice to hear of other people’s experience and know that I’m not being an idiot for being so upset. He was such a comfort to me and the house just feels wrong. I don’t even want to be in the house it’s not the same. Doesn’t feel like home now. I know it will ease and I need to give myself time. Just hurts doesn’t it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top