Stupid bloody useless vandalous knobber horse!

[CBFan]

yeah, so about that deal we talked about the other day... second thoughts!!

Thats the unfortunate thing with horses... once they learn they can go through things, they tend to do it! lol!... unfortunately the larger variety tend to be quite destructive!!...

My boy has gone through the leccy fencing before... though I think he genuinely didn't see it there - it was about knee height on him! lol! the Other day, coming out of the field, instead of walking round the loose leccy fencing that was on the ground and any normal horse would have walked ROUND (the gate that I'd moved out of his way, leaving a perfectly clear path) he walked over it, giving himself a large Zap but then had the gall to look at me as if it were my fault!

 

[Ashleigh_]

Absolutely brilliant ! What a lad. I have just the field mate for him......

Yob Cob with a sense of humour.
My Ex who fancied himself as a cross bewteen WFP and a horse whisperer, decided to bring Yob Cob in for me. When they didn't appear I went to look for them.
Yob Cob was standing on top of our enormous muck heap grinning, as Ex, red faced and muttering had to clamber up after him with all dignity abandoned.

He's been known to lead field break outs by battering 5 bar gates open. He's also opened his stable door to get to his neighbours tin of treats, where he picks up tin, drops it on the floor to open it and scoffs the lot while the horse for whom the treats were bought, looks helplessly on.

I now have ultimate respect for Yob Cob!

 

[KittyJay]

teeheehee, these have all made me laugh. trish c, i really enjoy reading about your adventures with knobber, you have a great turn of phrase!

my only contribution is my share horse's next-door neighbour jumped out of his stable - aged about two or three I think - so now has a weaving guard thing to keep him in there. i don't understand how he did it, it's a full height, hefty stable door with quite a small gap above =O he's a real handsome-eejit type though.

 

[Trish C]

Hehe! Love knobbers and yob cobs really... we'd all be bored with 'normal' horses

I should've known what I was letting myself in for when I went to see the knobber - I asked to see him loose schooled in the sand arena (as it was too deep to ride in so I walked/trotted on the roads) and he showed off for a little while, then got bored so opened the barrier and took himself back to his stable... actually I think that was the moment when I really fell in love with him

Horserider - I really love the image of WFP x Horse-whisperer clambering up a mountainous muck-heap to catch a grinning yob cob, pure thelwell!

Jesstickle - I stand by my statement! Life with a knobber may be frustrating and infuriating, but it is NEVER boring

CBFan - ha! I think it was my CBs who nurtured my love for knobber horses, since all of them were complete d1ckheads A friend's horse, who had about the same IQ as a brain-damaged, blonde gnat with an alcohol/drug addiction, got himself wrapped up in leccy fencing (instead of stepping completely over it he got half over and then kept turning around, useless beast!) and even after she got to him to turn it off he was 'buzzing' every now and again.

KittyJay - thank you... and it's the handsome-eejit types that are the worst

 

[Lobelia_Overhill]

My horse is a giant useless thuggish ginger knob.

 

[marinitagsd]

This story proper made me laugh! x

 

[dorito]

hahahahahaha -You should ask Horse and Country tv if they'd like to give him his own show. Or failing that, set up a 'knob-cam' of your own and post us up a link to it...mind you keep the camera out of his reach though!

 

[MerrySherryRider]

I should've known what I was letting myself in for when I went to see the knobber - I asked to see him loose schooled in the sand arena (as it was too deep to ride in so I walked/trotted on the roads) and he showed off for a little while, then got bored so opened the barrier and took himself back to his stable... actually I think that was the moment when I really fell in love with him

Aw, Jeez, I would have fallen for him too. Might have entered into a bidding war with you. I love a Knob.

 

[Bright_Spark]

Am sitting in bed, shaking like a jelly, trying not to wake hubby up by choking with laughter. I know I shoudnt laugh, but it's the way you tell 'em.

I used to have a knobbed, she was a cob. Before i had her, Her hobbies included escaping from her internal stable by rubbing her ample backside on the front until it gave way, then eating all breakfasts, as much hay and getting into as many feed bins as possible, standing on my foot then putting all of her weight on that hoof and twisting as she got off. She was always clean in her stable, until she had a bath, that night she would roll in as much pooh as possible. I could go on.

The ultimate knobber of knobbers was my Shetland. He had no respect for any fencing, would often find him in various fields- thankful he was popular with everyone on the yard, even after being gelded would try to hump anything that moved, and used to drag my hubby all over the place. Oh, and used to remove the rug from my NF when they would share a stable for an hour or two.

 

[Trish C]

Dorito - I can imagine knob having an amazing time with a sound boom!

Bright_Spark - I think Shetlands are possibly the origin of the knobber species... all knobber are descended from one incredibly wooden-headed fluffy Shetlands. Love the image of a Shetlands humping everything!

 

[Trish C]

Sorry for all the mistakes in the previous post. My phone's predictive text capabilities are somewhat knobberish I think!

 

[Marydoll]

Your post soo made me laugh.What a roaster, he sounds like my jack the lad, bit through a metal bolt on his stable, has done a runner up a pile of topsoil, stood like the king of the castle then ran down the other side and got stuck between the muck and the arena fence.
When He realised he was stuck stood like a big galoot till i took down an electric fence to get him out.
Will also chew his way through a rope until he's free and goes through stuff rather than around it, a joy of a boy

 

[SophieLouBee]

Oh Knobbers, don't you just love'em.

Mines latest thing is running at gates and going through them, when they are closed. He escapes out of his field underneath the fence (he's 16.2), then when he wants to come back in, instead of coming back the same way (I really don't think he can figure it out), he gallops at the gate, and straight through it, taking it off it's hinges. Do not ask me how this horse manages to stay alive. I do not know.

I know exactly when he's done/going to do something, he does that face, where his eyes go all set and mean looking, and his ears go out to the side rather than back.

I waste half my time trying to figure out what the hell to do with him, rather than actually doing it.

 

[WildRider]

Oh my, this thread is just too funny!! Sorry, I do feel your pain Trish, and the others who have posted about the knobbing antics they've had, but right now I have tears of laughter running down my face. Really is the funniest thing I've heard all day, possibly all week!! Especially the initial post, oh, just the way it was written... (Please excuse me whilst I wander off to laugh some more...)

 

[angelish]

thats hilarious ,first thing thats made me laugh all week
still chuckling now lmfao

 

[Hairy Old Cob]

Brilliant has cheered me up no end I used to have a Yob Cob with a sense of humour you will sorely miss him when hes gone you cannot beat a Horse with a sense of humour. I used to have a Deer Hound cross lurcher well 3/4 Deer Hound 1/4 thieving Gypsy Bast***, that literally grinned and almost laughed out loud at her antics. looking forward to the next installment of the Ginger knobber.

 

[Trish C]

I'd better not tell Montster Knobberts that he's amusing people otherwise he might consider his knobberisms a 'service'... there'll really be no stopping him then And god forbid he ever figures out he can just go through gates by knocking them over!

He spent today finding new and unusual ways to punish me for the rug incident yesterday. Trashing the stable, tipping over the full wheelbarrow, throwing all of the headcollars off the rack, picking up my jacket and dumping it into a puddle, dribbling water down my back and then into my hat (which of course I didn't realise until I put it on my head. I swear to god I could hear him laughing!)

His ridden work has actually been very good this week, hence the extra knobberishness in the stable... when he's well behaved in the stable I always know I'm in for a disastrous ride. It's like he has to resolve being good in one way by being a complete and utter ******** in another.

I'm not sure whether when we start competing dressage we'll get back a test sheet or an ASBO!

 

[Megibo]

i'll always love a horse with good sense of humour!

I have a welsh mare through and through and her favourite thing to do is come for 'cuddles' whilst you're poo picking, then tip up your wheelbarrow and disappear across the field and something she did that always makes me chuckle when i remember it:

yes, i love the horses that make you laugh!

 

[Chavhorse]

Well the spotty knobber surpassed himself yesterday.

After spending one day in a small dry lot on his own following his, lets take the biggest chunk of flesh I can out of my knee without it actually hitting anything serious incident on Thursday, My yo took pity on him yesterday and turned him out in the small grass strip behind the sand paddocks where all the other horses were due to the paddocks looking like a paddi field.

Spotty knobber spent the entire morning running up and down to the others with great tufts of grass hanging out of his mouth in a kind of "look what Iv'e got na na na na na" kind of way driving them all insane.

He then got revenge on Seb who obviously got frustrated with him banging his jolly ball on his head on Thursday and bit him resulting in the "lets take the biggest piece of flesh out of my knee without actually damaging anything serious incident" by getting a mouth full of the lushest grass and poking it through the fence at him then pulling back out of reach everytime seb tried to grab it!

Bored with that game, he then ignored the lush bum high grass and ate the entirety of my YO's plum tree tis now a very sad leafless twig.

When I went back late afternoon he was back in the dry lot again and YO was muttering about how many hamburgers he would make!

 

[tallyho!]

Please may I join the knobber horse clique?

Put my spot of bother in his stable just to sort some things out yesterday... only for 5 mins and all his rugs (from winter which I haven't had chance to wash) were in a heap on the straw, with a huge steaming pile of ... placed carefully on top.

Thanks M! You great big knobber!!!

 

[Megibo]

Please may I join the knobber horse clique?

Put my spot of bother in his stable just to sort some things out yesterday... only for 5 mins and all his rugs (from winter which I haven't had chance to wash) were in a heap on the straw, with a huge steaming pile of ... placed carefully on top.

Thanks M! You great big knobber!!!

 

[Trish C]

Spotty knobber spent the entire morning running up and down to the others with great tufts of grass hanging out of his mouth in a kind of "look what Iv'e got na na na na na" kind of way driving them all insane.

... Seb who obviously got frustrated with him banging his jolly ball on his head on Thursday

... Bored with that game, he then ignored the lush bum high grass and ate the entirety of my YO's plum tree tis now a very sad leafless twig.

Hahahaha! Blurted tea all over my laptop reading your post! Excellent work by the spotty knobber. SUPREME display of knobberism there. I can just picture the expression on the poor victim's face when he was being repeatedly whacked on the head by a jolly ball

Please may I join the knobber horse clique?

Sounds like your horse definitely fits the criteria, you're more than welcome

Monty crossed from knobber into the realm of just plain bold today. I knew he was building up for something naughty because he's been so good when ridden the last week or two. His shoes sound like a xylophone at the moment so I decided to just lunge him this morning. He started off working very nicely in walk and trot but then either he decided that he's actually an unbroken 3y.o. or his hearing is a bit off, because when I asked him to canter he must have thought I said "please tank off across the arena like a rodeo bull with a poker up its backside and make sure you rip the lunge-line through my hands... cos even though I'm wearing gloves and never ever loop the line round my hand, if you try hard enough you can still get an angle that will give me a very bad and insanely painful thumb sprain. Which is perfect really because, aside from hands being generally quite important to a pro musician, my band are rehearsing all day today and going into the studio tomorrow to record a new album."

So the knobber is in the very, VERY bad books today and I am sitting with my left hand wrapped in ice above my head praying that the swelling/bruising goes down a bit and I can still play. He'd better have groomed himself, put his bed down and cleaned his tack by the time I go to tuck him in tonight

 

[Chavhorse]

Hahahaha! Blurted tea all over my laptop reading your post! Excellent work by the spotty knobber. SUPREME display of knobberism there. I can just picture the expression on the poor victim's face when he was being repeatedly whacked on the head by a jolly ball

The Spotty Knobber is well know for it! I bought him the Jolly Ball to replace the high priced big green skippy ball that he played with once, all was going brilliantly until spotty knobber decided that it would be a great idea to slam dunk it and land on it with his shoulder and it duly exploded, he then treated us to a 5 minute display of "uhhh where did it go" abject confusion.

My Trainer actually takes away the Jolly Ball when he is teaching as he was finding his pupils could not concentrate for laughing at him bouncing it repeatedly off the skull of poor baby Ed who at two just used to stand there till concussion set in.

Talking of rugs Spotty Knobber also used to do the houndini act and somehow get out of his rugs leaving all straps and filet strings still tied up.

I retaliated by buying him the most evil of New Zealand rugs with hooks and straps placed where there was no way he could reach them, his revenge to spend hours teaching Baby Ed

how to undo them for him then encouraging him to help him tug of war it to death!

Problem then was that if you turned baby Ed out with any other horse he would helpfully remove their rugs whether they wanted it removed or not, we retaliated by putting him out with the Evil Mares and for some reason he stopped

The Spotty Knobber and Baby Ed....Its Mine I tell you Mine!...Bless him he is six now and I think there is no hope!

 

[Tinseltoes]

The Spotty Knobber is well know for it! I bought him the Jolly Ball to replace the high priced big green skippy ball that he played with once, all was going brilliantly until spotty knobber decided that it would be a great idea to slam dunk it and land on it with his shoulder and it duly exploded, he then treated us to a 5 minute display of "uhhh where did it go" abject confusion.

My Trainer actually takes away the Jolly Ball when he is teaching as he was finding his pupils could not concentrate for laughing at him bouncing it repeatedly off the skull of poor baby Ed who at two just used to stand there till concussion set in.

Talking of rugs Spotty Knobber also used to do the houndini act and somehow get out of his rugs leaving all straps and filet strings still tied up.

I retaliated by buying him the most evil of New Zealand rugs with hooks and straps placed where there was no way he could reach them, his revenge to spend hours teaching Baby Ed

how to undo them for him then encouraging him to help him tug of war it to death!

Problem then was that if you turned baby Ed out with any other horse he would helpfully remove their rugs whether they wanted it removed or not, we retaliated by putting him out with the Evil Mares and for some reason he stopped

The Spotty Knobber and Baby Ed....Its Mine I tell you Mine!...Bless him he is six now and I think there is no hope!

Heee hee another funny horse.Theyre lovely.

 

[lexiedhb]

I think "knobber" is carried on the ginger gene- I had a ginger hoss = knobber, and now have a ginger OH= knobber and a ginger dog, you guessed it = knobber!!!

 

[Countrygirl]

You have had all had me in stitches and now feel I must mention my monster youngster.
When he was still on his mum OH heard an awful noise outside, it sounded like the mare was cast in her box. He flew up to the stables, already working out where lungelines etc would be, to find a certain foal entertaining himself - what with? - the pipe on a fire extinguisher!!! He had worked out that if he grabbed hold of it and pulled in a certain direction it would bang against the outside of the stable!!!
Now at 3 years old it appears we are taking it out on our rugs. He has been wearing them since he was 8 months old. A couple of weeks ago rain was forecast so fly rug of shower rug on. All well and good, fed and said goodnight. Next morning I was mortified, his rug was in a heap in the field, my first thought was poor boy he must have somehow got his leg through the belly strap - how wrong could I be? Well went off that morning to get another one. On went the rug after tea and baby pony decided to pull at the front of it, got told off and off he wandered down the field nearer his friends. We stayed and watched, littel bugger kept pulling at the front of it, walked all the way down the field and he had already made a hole about 2inches long in the front of it. Told off again and everything settled down. Next morning - brand new rug, less than 12 hours old on the floor trashed!!!!!!!
And there was me feeling guilty that it was my fault!!!
Yesterday another belly strap broke on the flyrug (rambo) that he has had for a year, so went and found a spare one put it on last night - this morning trashed and to add insult to injury he had brought part of it up from the other end of the field, where I found the rug, to the gate!!!!!!!!!
I do love him really, but after a huge vets bill last week(dog not horse) I cannot afford to buy him a rug a day.
Sorry its a long one!