Stupid things you've heard non-horsey people say...

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doolally_tap

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Thought this would be an amusing thread.

I've had a couple of corkers lately whilst discussing my search for a horse with non-horsey people.

My own mother ..... in response to me saying that I preferred male horses so preferred not to look at mares, she said "well don't rule them out because some of them might be boys".

A work colleague who's recently bought a puppy ....... in response to me talking about an 11 year old horse I was going to view. "Why aren't you buying a baby horse?"

Can't wait to hear some more funnies...
 
I was out riding once and one of those old people motorised scooter things (sorry - I'm sure they've got a proper name but I can't think of it!
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) was coming the other way along a path towards me and Silver. Silver hated it on sight and started backing up with his ears pinned back and this granny kept coming towards us, despite me saying stop. Silver then whipped around, jumped my mum's bike and did his best ever attempt and bolting off into the sunset.

The granny's response - "Are you sure your horse is supposed to do that?"
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My mum trying to discuss wind sucking- "So he whistle blows how does it affect him?"

Cue me bursting into hysterics imagining Bailey stood in his stable with a whistle in his mouth
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She tries bless her...
 
A colleague knew I was clipping my horse one weekend. One week later, he said "has it all grown back now?"
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I kindly said "No - although different horses under different conditions grow their coats back back at varying speeds, it is highly unlikely that after one week you would not know that they had been clipped!". Bless him!
 
re.shetland in my signature_lady came and patted him ages ago,she knew about ponies and told me he had ``a bit of palaminy``in him cos of his mane.
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Little Black One (26 yr old sec B) was being exercised by a friend who took him out hacking, leading him off her similarly coloured TB mare!

Two elderly ladies in a garden admired the horse & 'it's lovely little baby foal' as they passed by!
Well, i guess they WERE kinda similar looking!
 
Took my OH's mother with me to the yard one day and left her with my horse while I went off to do something else.
When I got back she told me that my horse had been really bad as she's peed on her straw.
 
I've been asked loads of time if I have to go and see the horse EVERY day? People are really shocked when I say I go twice! I was also asked by my OH's Dad if I'll be doing any gymkhana's with my WB showjumper.....hmmmm
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I was speaking to my mum about my horse and I can't remember how the conversation went but it involved her saying 'What, so Ed isn't a stallion?' bless her.

A few years ago I went on a hack with my instructor, she was on her 6yro TB mare who was around 16hh and I was on her 20yro 14.2hh (I don't know what breed) she was bay and mine was roan......walked past a group of people saying 'awww look at the baby horse' because he was smaller than the TB mare so people thought he was younger lol.

My mate was out with me when I was riding, stood talking to her and my lad farted and she blamed me, when I said it was the horse she was 'I didn't know horses could fart'

lol
 
hehe this is thread is funny. i was taking a ride out at the local trekking centre - riding school and the horse i was riding, lightning, had brushing boots on. the little boy i was leading asked me : 'why has your horse got shin pads on?' it was so cute but i couldn't stop laughing! all the other people on the ride were looking at me as if to say ' well, why has she got shin pads on?!'

hehe xxx
 
After much pestering my mum brought a work colleague's little girl down to the yard to have a ride on one of our horses. It was clear to us that this child had never even sat on a horse let alone had a lesson but she said "I don't need to be on a lead I can do charntering really fast"

People behind us at olympia, "Why do they stick those balls on the horses' necks"

People behind us at burghley, "Granny, do the horses have to jump all the sticks or does the rider let them choose which ones?" and then when WFP came in the arena "Granny. why is that man riding a baby one?"

We get a lot of people asking why our horses wear blindfolds in the field (Don't they bump into the fence?) and we even get people cutting eyehles in them so the horses can see
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While napping spectacularly at the side of a pond in front of a residential home "Hey love, is he broke?"
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While trying to avoid small herd of very well fed young children clearly on holiday, around legs of above horse "coo, what's that whip for then?"
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About my pony (nearly 8 yrs old): "When will he grow into a horse? Aren't ponies just baby horses?" "I didn't think you could ride ponies, surely they're too small for anyone to ride?"

and people at work ask:
"Did you go and see your horse last night?" No, he has learnt to muck himself out, feed himself and fill his own haynets. And when I was ill and off work for 3 days "So, did you just leave him for a few days to sort himself out?"
 
I often get the question about whether I have to go to the stables every day, people cooing over 'the cute baby one', my 13.2hh mare who is in her twenties, It's actually amazing how many people think that horses just keep growing as they get older, and ponies are in fact young horses
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Someone once asked me if you have to feed horses and what the stuff in the net in his stable was. Have often been told that I have to clean up after my horse when hacking, the mind boggles at how you'd manage that!
 
i must admit - the most stupid thing that has been said to me was by a HORSE person.

i was told that horses only come in 12.2,13.3,14.2,and 15.2 - that horses over 16.2 are police horses and that his guy has ponies of about 13.2 but he only breeds from them as they are too small to ride !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
A very concerned old dear in Tesco's one evening asked me quietly what was wrong with my leg that I had to wear those callipers...aka my chaps!
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A bloke at work was telling me about how his wife rode a 17.5 hh horse!

At Blenheim we were watching the dressage warm up and my Dad asked what they were doing. I said "Oh the groom is taking the boots off". My Dad thought that the groom was taking Andrew Nicholson's boots off and asked why lol!

I was hand grazing my horse in a field near a foot path once (as it was winter and we weren't allowed to turn our horses out as much). I could see some people walking along were talking and giving me weird looks. They then came up and asked if I had shaved my horse?? I explained he was clipped and they wanted to know why so I explained that. I think they thought I was some evil horse girl and walked off in horror.

People at work used to think it was hysterical that my horse is called Mark and would think it was very funny to say "have you been riding Mark this weekend?". Mind you the kids at school used to think that when I said I was going to Badminton that I was actually competing.
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I was on a hack one day and a lady passed by and said that Castle was Desert Orchids twin!
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It was a very nice comment considering she was unhorsey
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I've been told "What a lovely mare and foal" regarding my two geldings who happen to be the same colour!

"That is exactly the same as my friends arab, how beautiful" - to my 13.2hh pure bred New Forest
 
well i had a judge at a show that continued to tell me my New Forest pony (who clearly looks like a NF) was a exmoor.... the most stupidest comment from a so called judge!
 
Well, for me my classic comment has to be from the YO 9 year old son, she plonked him on top of the spotted stallion while shewas mucking out and when he got off he was covered in grey hair as he'd been sat on bare back and he said "Mum, why didn't you tell me this horse had false hair!"
 
I once took a hunter on a beach ride. He'd never been on a beach before and he was scared and began to rear. A middle aged couple collecting shells on the beach came right up to me and helpfully told me that I was being cruel and he was rearing because his bit was choking him! Thanks. They will never know how close they came to being choked if I hadn't had my hands full.
 
I love this post.

My favourite is when I was sitting in the spectators stand at Hickstead, and the announcement came across as "The course is now being set for the 5 Year Olds competition" Two old ladies sitting behind me said "my goodness that looks very big for children of that age"

Was wetting myself for ages afterwards, and couldn't look at my friends. They then went back to discussing Emmerdale and their tomatoe plants. God knows what they were doing there!
 
When I was younger I remember riding my grey highland through the village when a kid walked up and said "so is that a clydesdale then?". Ummmmm.......

Have also had a showing judge tell me I was in the wrong class with my pure bred registered 15.2hh Welsh D because "in a mountain & moorland class, they expect ponies and not horses"........ WTF?! I was placed at the very bottom of that class behind even the plaited part breds who shouldnt have even been in it.......!!! I think she thought my boy was a freak or something?!
 
My mum has asked me several times If I have rode Missy yet (shes a yearling) .


Also had some silly crowd of fellas that came to the riding school (age region of 16-22) asking if a gelding was a horse that didnt have its willy , I said no he just gets his dingle dangles cut off , he then said awww poor horse ... yes poor horse indeed .
 
An elderly neighbour once asked me why I didn't get one I could ride.....assuming that Bert could only pull a cart!!! I did point out he wasn't broken to drive and he is ridden fine.

My mother, further to my discussion about needing a stronger bit for brakes, asked me why he wouldn't just stop when I said woooaah! (maybe there is some sense behind that one though)
 
I am slightly more concerned about the tripe that comes out of supposedly horsey peoples mouths!

However someone telling me Girthing was cruel ??? and actually trying to have a row about it was a notable corker.
 
A judge at a local show put our 2 year old shetland colt last. she saida very poor section A. The week before he won best inhand at the shetland performance show!!!!

So one said to our shetlands, are they mutated as a normal horse would be about 2 at that height( they thought horses grow all their life !)

Haz
 
OMG I forgot yesterday a boy who owns a horse at the yard I have moved too asked me if I use him for DRIVING!

FFS he is a shade under 18hh and a skinnhy little whippet for a start...!
 
Oh yes just thought of another when feufolet mentioned supposedly horsey people saying the most ridculous things ....

The first inhand class we took missy to was a youngstock show it was purely to see what why she would react infront of other horses and a busy atmosphere , she was 10 months old at the time and was among quite a few , My hubbie had taken her into the ring was doing his trotting up to the judge and then standing while the judge looked and had a chat with hubbie . ... when they walked around , I quickly asked hubbie what she said ... now bearing in mind this class that she was in was a " Sports horse class " ... he said ... " oh she had said she didnt have any markings ... I thought WTF ?? you want markings you go judge the bloody coloured class you numpty .

Still makes me cross to this day when I think about it lol .
 
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