Stupidest things YOU'VE said or done?

Gone for a long hack wearing a black silky thermal balaclava and no hat, forgot to put hat on top. Only realised when I saw a scuba diver reflected back at me in a car window miles from home. I had even stopped and chatted with someone I vaguely knew, and they'd not mentioned it. I had to ride about 3 miles home looking and feeling like a total idiot.
 
Pony came in with hind leg lameness, vet could not find anything wrong. She kept peeing, I asked if she could have a UTI? Vet asked when she was last in season!!
 
Many, but highlights are - trying to be helpful as a teen and getting the horses in for the farmer I had befriended. To fetch them in he called them, opened the gate, and they trotted straight into their open stables. Fancying myself as quite the horsewoman I didn't even question that they wouldn't do the same for me. Of course they didn't. They galloped down the farm drive and onto a road, stopping thankfully to graze on the verge, allowing a very panicked me to gather them all up and return them to their stables. Never ever again. Lesson learnt!

More recently I have stupidly left a stable not properly closed, cue stressy mare making a break for it (caught her - phew!) and there's one rug for YO's horse which I can never figure out which is inside and which is out. Always get it wrong. Idiot. 🙄
 
Had a lovely black cob on trial. Second day of having him I walked him up to the stable area, put him in, put the chain across the door, turned round to get his hay net and he slipped under the chain, out the livery yard and went trotting off down the road! Talk about panic!! I obv chased after him...he just kept going...all I could think about was a car coming the other way and hitting him. Eventually he stopped, turned around and trotted back to me. My heart was pounding so hard it gave he a cracking head ache!
Lol
 
most embarassing thing I have said was to ask a girl who looked about 11 if she had called the vet to a horse with a scabby face She looked very affronted and said I am the vet oops
Daftest thing one las did was come back from a three hour ride with my highland pony complaining that she had been a pain in the neck to steer and stop and really on one No one out with her had noticed she had her reins crossed under the pony's chin
 
As a teen I worked on a SJ yard. I tacked up one if the showjumpers for the YO and off she went for a schooling session.

She came back 15 minutes giggling. I had put the saddle cloth on the wrong way round so that the straps which secure around the girth straps were dangling and tickling the mare on her flank so she was bucking every other stride in trot and canter. Oooopsie.
 
Chatting to a friend put my horse into what I thought was her new field. Did not realise that there was only a gate and no fence. Both of us collapsed laughing and luckily horse was easy to catch
 
Not checking the arena at Hickstead (not the main one!) and assuming that the ground was so dry, no studs were needed. Cue horse slipping and sitting on his backside and me coming off gently over his rear end complete with stirrups still attached to my foot. My friends horses have leg straps on their turn out rugs where as I have a rubber fillet string. I can't count the times I have gone to take off their rugs and not undone the leg straps...Putting on a pelham for hunting years ago. Someone else had fitted it then I (stupidly) took the entire bridle apart to clean. Turned up at our first meet and couldn't work out why the curb chain was dangling about 4 " below my horses mouth. Cue dismount and remaking up my bridle away from the rest of the meet hoping my horse wouldn't twig what was going on...oh and washing horses tail with fairy washing up liquid. Put far too much on and spent about 15 minutes just trying to rinse it out!
 
One very hot summer day many years ago deciding to ride in shorts and shoes. Forgot about the wicket gate I would have to get off to open - in the middle of a huge patch of nettles. Ouchy
 
Rollin said:
Pony came in with hind leg lameness, vet could not find anything wrong. She kept peeing, I asked if she could have a UTI? Vet asked when she was last in season!!
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Won't that have been a sensible question? A lot of mares squirt pee frequently when they are in season. If yours doesn't I can see why it would seem very odd to ask.
 
Tied a very lovely quiet mare to my very, very heavy wooden six bar gate...without bailer band. Yes, you've guessed it!

I thought I'd give her a lovely relaxing groom out in the sunshine. She put her head down, brought it up too quickly and got the lead rope over her head, panicked and brought the whole massive six bar gate off the hinges and went tanking off down the lane with my leg stuck in the gate, so both me and the gate were hanging off her head. This mare was built like a tank and once brought the front of a stable down, and demolished a couple of dry stone walls, but she was lovely. I managed to get myself out of the gate and calmed her enough to stop her to try and undo her head collar but the gate was too heavy, and was swinging off her head now with my finger stuck in the headcolllar!!!

I kinda thought at this point...this is going to end in tears as I felt the blood trickling into my boot, managed to break my finger along the way and by this time we were about a 1/4 of a mile down the lane, but I did get it off. Mare was absolutely fine. I learnt that lesson the hard way, and when I see people tie them straight to gates etc, I always remember THAT incident !!!!

My neighbour who I used to ride out with was watching from her house up the hill from our place through the binoculars... She was hysterical! (we had that kind of relationship) . I never lived that one down!!
 
I was a new student at a very smart dressage yard and was sent out to long rein one of the expensive horses. I had him on a circle and he bucked and smartly kicked the rope round his quarters straight out of my hand. The inside rope was through the surcingles ring so when he careered off and I pulled on the rope it pulled his head round to his side. He did slow down to a walk but kept turning round and round until he was trussed up like a Christmas turkey with the rope round all four legs more than once!. In order to release him I had to run around him several times. Fortunately he stood like a saint,not that he could have gone far anyway. I was glad everyone had gone for lunch and the horse was unscathed.
 
Magister said:
I was a new student at a very smart dressage yard and was sent out to long rein one of the expensive horses. I had him on a circle and he bucked and smartly kicked the rope round his quarters straight out of my hand. The inside rope was through the surcingles ring so when he careered off and I pulled on the rope it pulled his head round to his side. He did slow down to a walk but kept turning round and round until he was trussed up like a Christmas turkey with the rope round all four legs more than once!. In order to release him I had to run around him several times. Fortunately he stood like a saint,not that he could have gone far anyway. I was glad everyone had gone for lunch and the horse was unscathed.
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Love this one!Can just picture it.
 
Fell off a horse which was standing still at the time:

Needed to post an envelope through someone's letter box, so put it in my pocket and hacked out, thinking to drop it in on the way.

Horsey stopped OK, did some superb lateral work, I leaned across to bung the envelope through the letter box - and overbalanced and came off!! They had a whole lot of potted plants and shrubs around their place, and I ended up right in the middle of it all with flower pots & earth scattered everywhere!

VERY embarrassing! And it bleddi hurt too!!
 
Landcruiser said:
Gone for a long hack wearing a black silky thermal balaclava and no hat, forgot to put hat on top. Only realised when I saw a scuba diver reflected back at me in a car window miles from home. I had even stopped and chatted with someone I vaguely knew, and they'd not mentioned it. I had to ride about 3 miles home looking and feeling like a total idiot.
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Omg, haha! People will of thought you were looking for the local hunt! :D
 
Many things! I once left my injured (lame) mare tired up, tightly, in the stable, whilst I went to call the vet, with her stall guard chain done up, but the stable door open. Came back from the house to find out outside her stable, panicking because her rope was now very tight. How on earth she'd managed to scramble under the chain whilst tired up tightly I don't know! Luckily she was unharmed.

I remember a time when we where loading up after an event, and it started raining very badly. The ground we were parked on was already very soggy, we just ran my mare up the ramp, closed the partitions (or so I thought), closed ramp and left. As we were driving back I kept hearing loads of banging and kicking, so I went into the horse area to look, to find my mare jumping out of her skin, in a right pickle, because silly old me hadn't closed the partition, and every time we went round a corner/ roundabout, it was bashing against her, poor girl.

I recall one time when when my girth slipped very badly whilst I was jumping. I was in a hurry to tack up, so I simply put the saddle & bridle on the horse, did the girth up onto the first hole on both sides, checked it very briefly once on, and thought it could go up before I started jumping. Warmed up, and then started jumping, forgetting to do up my girth. Said horse was approaching a skinny style fence when it ran out to the right very unexpectedly, and my weight went off to the left. As I turned to re-approach it, I couldn't understand why I was slipping off to the left and why the horse was taking off whilst bronking. Looked down, and surprise, surprise, my saddle was hanging off the side of her, with me very quickly following it. Manged to push all my weight into the left stirrup to 'pull' it back into position (all whilst horse was taking off at high speed), stop horse & readjust girth. Certainly think twice about checking my girth now!
 
My dumbest/most embarrassing moment was a few years ago when I had recently started riding a horse for someone. The horse in question was a plain bay ISH with no distinctive markings.

I went up there to his field, and brought in a plain bay horse which was in the same rug he usually wore. Got the horse in, took off the rug and noticed that the clip looked slightly different - but it had been quite a few days since I had been up.

Anyway, it turned out it was a completely different horse - there had been a field move which they hadn't mentioned to me, and the horse I'd brought in just happened to look very similar and wear an identical rug. Nevertheless I was completely humiliated!
 
Didn't put my bridle back together properly. Cheek piece promptly came away from the bit as soon as I started trying to slow from a canter...
Had no brakes, horse wasn't coming back to me at all. Ended up passing the rein under his neck and using it as a neck rope. Bloomin' heck though, was a scary experience!
 
My extremely horsey OH has what I call 'what ARE you doing?' moments quite regularly...like letting a mare out of the stable loose to walk 100 yards down the yard and out into the field (a daily routine) whilst leaving another empty stable door and the feed room door open...and then standing there watching her walk into one, out, and into the other. I ended up having to put a lead rope around her neck and leading her to the field while he stood there shouting 'OUT' from her stable door.

A few years ago I was at a race meeting on a very hot day with two horses tied side by side on the lorry. My boss asked me to put Chaps back on the lorry, and I proceeded to put Hoppy back on instead. When he asked me why I'd put Hoppy back on I told him I clearly hadn't and that Hoppy was still tied the side of the lorry, whilst pointing at the wrong horse. I then argued with him for a couple of minutes that I'd done as he'd asked. Hoppy was a 16hh liver chestnut; Chaps was a 15.2hh dark bay. I'd been the groom for these 2 horses for 2 years. In my defence it turned out I was quite dehydrated and mildly delirious and after 2L of water realised I was talking a load of nonsense!
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
Fell off a horse which was standing still at the time:

Needed to post an envelope through someone's letter box, so put it in my pocket and hacked out, thinking to drop it in on the way.

Horsey stopped OK, did some superb lateral work, I leaned across to bung the envelope through the letter box - and overbalanced and came off!! They had a whole lot of potted plants and shrubs around their place, and I ended up right in the middle of it all with flower pots & earth scattered everywhere!

VERY embarrassing! And it bleddi hurt too!!
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Lol!
 
Popped my horse on the lunge, in a head collar to check if he was sound. He was. Unfortunately he then *^%#+= off on the lunge and kicked himself on the inside hind leg and was lame for a week until the bruising settled.
I always, always lunge in a bridle now.
 
I got half a mile down the road today with the trailer ramp open (empty, of course)... stopped to check why it didn't seem to be towing as smoothly as usual, and find out what the noise was!

Happily it's an old Rice box, so it has survived the experience, and there was nobody behind me to see it happen.
 
ycbm said:
Won't that have been a sensible question? A lot of mares squirt pee frequently when they are in season. If yours doesn't I can see why it would seem very odd to ask.
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I think that was Rollin's point. She should have realised pony was 'just' in season but thought she was ill/lame.
 
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