Such uncaring liveries am so saddened

I

Irishlassie

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A close friend of mine had a small stroke in may, she had to let her BE horse go as he would be too sharp for her now. She has had ok to start riding again but has so lost her confidence that I took my so safe cob in the lorry and her to a RDA centre and she had several lessons with assistance in the indoor school. We have now got enough confidence to try at our yard, so on advice from instructor we bought a high mounting block, and instructor attached a strap to the saddle d rings, to hold on to for confidence,( her balance is not quite there) and today it was a decent day so the instructor came and gave her a short lesson in the school then took her on a lead roap round the bridle paths. My mate came back roses cheeks and beaming. She had a great time , we got her off, sorted horse and went for a cup of tea, we had had an audience for the lesson, but I never thought anything of it.... I had to nip back to the tack room for something and to my shock I heard two other liveries mocking my mate, laughing about her being on a lead rein... Laughing at her and being so cruel.. Well I tore a strip off them both, they don't know what she has gone through in last 8 months to be able to get back on any horse... Why oh why are some people, who I had though friendly, such utter cows..
I am not saying anything to my mate, I am so upset at the behaviour of these two, I had allways thought them ok...
How would you deal with it... ?:mad
 
Horrible.
I agree about not telling your mate. Hopefully after you had a go they feel very silly now and that will be enough.
I'd personally let it go at that or you will upset yourself. Your mate is doing great, let that sit above some very silly comments.
 
I hate people like that!
I laughed at a guy and his girlfriend who had just started riding, but the difference is, I was laughing WITH them.

No advice, but I hope your friend is ok :(
 
Some people can be so vile! I wouldn't say anything to your friend either, you don't want to knock what little confidence she has gained, or spoil such a lovely ride for her. I hope they will think twice before mocking her again! Why some horsey people feel the need to be such horrible cows!
 
That is so horrible. I hope they are feeling very small and contrite right now. They should think "there but for the grace of God..................". It could be them one day. And you are such a caring person to be so supportive to your friend, whilst she is going through such a difficult time. I hope she carries on enjoying her riding. Can't think of a better therapy for her! You are right to keep it to yourself. I wish you both lots of happiness. Wel done to you both! :) x
 
Hey, she has a good instructor, nice horse to ride, a wonderful friend in you, and she came back beaming - who cares what some narrow minded nobodies think..!! No need to tell her anything. You sound like you put them in their place anyway. TBH they probably feel awful now!:D
 
I think you have probably said enough for it to manifest in their ugly minds. Hopefully they dislike like themselves as much as I do after reading this. I'm about to lose a friend in her 40's to cancer ( diagnosed 3 weeks ago) so needless to say hearing things like this make me somewhat tearful.
Glad she has you as a friend !!
 
How nastyI agree don't tell your friend.
She should be proud of her achievement not made to feel bad.

I hope those people felt bad after to told them

Even if she had been a new rider being lead out. Why do they have to mock? She would be learning. We all start somewhere.
In your friends case though its a health issue.
 
Nothing to add but well done you for confronting them. Maybe they will think next time. I wouldn't tell your friend it will do no good. Just have her back if anything comes out. You sound like a good friend and that's all she needs right now, love and support :-)
 
I just wanted to say that I think you sound like a lovely , caring person and well done for tearing a strip off the narrow minded so and so's. You friend is truly lucky to have you to help her, and I really hope she recovers her confidence with your help and that of your instructor. It takes guts to get back on after an illness like that so well done to her, and two fingers to the 'people' who were nasty. Well done to you both.x
 
As others have said, I wouldn't tell your friend, or any-one else about the incident. However if you ever hear these witches making a similar comment, I suggest you take them along to the RDA group, where you never know they might just begin to feel thankful that they have their own health.
I bet they wouldn't have been able to ride your friend's horse anywhere near as well as she could before the stroke.
 
I do hope the horrible pair read HHO and discover exactly what people think of their cruelty and nastiness.

As for your friend, I am so glad she had a wonderful time, it would be a shame to mar it with this nonsense.
 
Honey08 said:
Hey, she has a good instructor, nice horse to ride, a wonderful friend in you, and she came back beaming - who cares what some narrow minded nobodies think..!! No need to tell her anything. You sound like you put them in their place anyway. TBH they probably feel awful now!:D
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Agreed. Hopefully they will feel entirely embarrassed and ashamed and think twice in future. Definitely do not tell your friend. (She won't read this thread will she).
 
That's horrible. I hope they are ashamed. I took ill a couple of years ago and had balance issues and lost the feeling in the lower half of my body. a fellow livery was riding in the arena and offered me a sit on her highland. I did it with my heart in my mouth, i was on a lead rein too. kept losing my stirrups as i couldn't feel my feet in them. I cried with emotion at being in the saddle, it was such a big thing. I would have been mortified if i had known that anyone had laughed at me. I eventually started to ride my tb again and she was a saint and i have adapted and we are back doing our thing. I was nannied for a few outings. I needed the help. your friend is lucky to have you, i am sure she appreciates you just like i appreciate the friends who helped me. I hope she recovers well, so sorry she had to let her own horse go. x
 
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Well done you for sticking up for your friend and being kind enough for her to ride your horse.
Just ignore the narrow minded, nasty cowbags. I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around...karma dude, karma ;)
 
Well done for sticking up for your friend, hopefully they have learnt a valuable lesson. Its shocking how unkind some people can be but I'm sure it comes back to them eventually.
 
Nasty cows , there by the grace of god go all of us agree with everyone else don't tell your friend and take the shine off a special day.
 
Good for you for telling them what your friend has overcome. Sometimes that's enough of a shock to jolt people into changing their outlook. When I was 10, one of the girls at our junior school came back after the holidays one year with a very obvious wig on. Stupid, horrible me shouted to her: 'Sorry, can you take your hair off, please?'
She burst into tears and her older sister informed me angrily, in front of a whole group of pupils, that this girl was fighting cancer and was lucky to be at school at all. The guilt I felt on hearing that still feels fresh, 27 years on, when I think about it. I am ashamed that I could have been so uncaring. I have tried to be more understanding of people.
Maybe you've inadvertently done these bitchy girls a favour and made them nicer people.
 
Horrid, stupid people. What they need to realise is that could as easily be them. A friend of mind suffered with a brain tumour about 5 or so years ago. Sadly (although it's a long story), and although the treatment was a succees, it left her disabled so she went from being an active person and horserider - she used to do a lot of showjumping, to not even being able to eat or drink properly and not being able to walk unaided. However, she eventually had come to terms with her disability and how she was now restricted and had just taken up driving and bought a nice driving.

Sadly she passed away in Sept this year just as she was coming to terms with her new way of life. Life is so cruel - she was 35.

It takes a hell of a lot for someone to have the detemination to get back to some sort of normality and a heck of a lot of confidence to get back on a horse when you do not have the same control over your movements as you had. If only some people could realise this could happen to them tomorrow so they should not be so quick to judge and mock others. :(
 
Thank you all... I won't say anything to my mate, if anything happens again I will go straight to YO . We are taking her riding again Thursday. It's so sad and yet so inspiring that she was doing BE 100. Last season then had a stroke that has altered her perception and balance.
One of the two has text me tonight saying she is sorry. I replied" I hope you will think twice before you do anything similar to someone else. Apology accepted."
That's all I can say. Any more and I would get more angry.
My friend still on a high by the way...
 
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