Sudden loss of horse help with the grief

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's like losing an arm when you lose your pets.

Don't give up your hopes on ever getting back on a horse again, it may well happen but you just need to give yourself some time. Grief does nasty things to a person but just remember that your livery friends would not hold it against you for having resentful feelings. I think you've been very strong to go down to the yard so soon after loosing your man.

Just give yourself time and when you're ready, if you're ready, just go by sometime and get back into the saddle. You can do it, we're all there for you :)

Big hugssss :) <3
 
Alchemy said:
Thank you all so much for your conforting words I've tried going down to yard but to see everyone else enjoying their horses planning their summers and life going on just makes me feel awful I almost resent it which sounds awful and selfish :( and unlike me. All I want to do is curl up in bed and never get out, Having no boyfriend/husband he was my much much better half
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There's a huge horse-shaped hole in your heart - you are bound to feel that way, it's totally normal and you'll feel a hundred different emotions before you realise that actually... horses really are our much much better halves whether you've chap at home or not :)... nothing compares to a horse and if you do find one of these chaps, you'd better be sure to keep reminding him he's not 1st in line hehe :)... all of your horsey friends will realise and hope they comfort you and get you through it.
 
I am very sorry to hear you have lost your boy. The shock is awful, I went through it last summer. The first thing I did was write to the vets thanking them for his care ( he was in hospital 3 days) then I wrote to his farrier, I couldn't face ringing him. After that I took each day gently, had a good sob when I needed to and tried not to feel guilty for forgetting about him for a few hours.
Fortunately I had family & another pony so I had to keep going. Alchemy, only you know what you need to do or feel and whatever memorial you want to have is right for you. My best but non-horsey friend thought to have a stock pin made from his tail hair was macabre. I ignored that comment & went ahead any way.
Hugs to you, it does get easier with time.
PS. It was 3 months before I could clean his tack & put it away
 
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you are still in shock as it was such a sudden loss. give yourself time to grieve and maybe take up a different activity for now, maybe join a gym, play tennis/squash/badminton or perhaps swimming or join a walking group so you can be in the fresh air., if there is a RDA group near you offers of help are always gratefully received......i also did the same as carlos mum and wrote to my vet and my farrier as i didnt want to talk to anyone about it. mine had cushings and i had about 6 months to make that final decision but it still came as a shock that had finally done it and there was no turning back. it will get easier but we never forget the, hugs...
 
I lost my old boy in similar circumstances 12 years ago. He was fine at 8pm Monday night, came galloping up the field and into his stable looking wonderful for his 27 years. I found him at 7 on Tuesday morning, called the vet and by 8 it was all over. He came, took one look at him and said he'd give him one pain-killing, anti-spasmodic injection that would either work in 5 minutes or not at all. While the pain killer worked and he visibly relaxed, the anti-spasmodic didn't (I'm not sure it was ever going to, I think it was more for my benefit than Eb's) and he wasn't up to travelling 90 minutes in rush hour traffic to the vet hospital so we had to say goodbye to him there and then. There was no decision to make, he had already made that decision for me. He was looking after me even at the end.

I was remarkably calm at the time, then went home and fell apart. For about 3 days, I couldn't even get out of bed, but gradually things started to get easier. With time, as the shock wore off, I realised that for a 27 year old horse, there were worse ways to go. He was totally fine 12 hours before, he'd eaten all his hay so can't have been in pain for long and he went peacefully, drugged up to the eyeballs so without a clue what was happening and with his head in my lap. A few hours, maximum, of suffering at the end of a very happy, healthy 27 years (14 of them with me, since we were both 13) wasn't too bad. I'm pretty sure, and I really hope, you'll start to feel the same with time and it sounds like it was even less time for him as you were there when the symptoms started. I'm particularly grateful I didn't have a decision to make and it sounds like it was the same for you.

Everything you're feeling is totally natural. It may take a few weeks, a few months or even a year or two but you'll get there. I promise.
 
wills_91, I'm very sorry about your loss! :(
There are different ways to cope with grief. An author friend of mine writes a short book on every dog she loses, it's just for her, she never publishes those.
Another friend from the US keeps all of her pets' tags to remember them and weaves them into a dream catcher.
Here is a sweet poem called "The Rainbow Bridge": https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
 
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