Suddenly scared of my horse

[shanti]

This is hard for me to admit but I'm not looking for sympathy so please don't feel like you can't be hard on me.

I have had my 5yo Standardbred for less than a year. He is a lovely quiet boy, but obviously young and a bit of a grump at times.
I haven't ridden him for about 6 weeks. Last ride we had he was displaying some behavior which instantly indicated to me that he wasn't comfortable. He was turning his head right around to the saddle and trying to bite the girth/my leg area. I immediately got off and walked him the rest of the way home. I had him checked by a vet, ruled out ulcers, dentist said everything is fine but he is still getting a few teeth through, then got a body worker in who said he is sore in the back and girth area so I got a saddle fitter out who discovered that his saddle no longer fitted him as his shape had changed so I got a new fitted saddle and a bank breaking girth, body worker gave the all clear and I'm ready to go.

Except suddenly I'm scared of this horse! And he hasn't even done anything wrong. He is a bit mouthy bit has never actually bitten me, more curiosity than anything and even with the pain he was having with the bad fitting saddle he didn't buck me off or rear like he was well within his rights to do, he just said hey that hurts please get off.

I'm at a total loss as to why I'm feeling like this, Im fine around my crazy Arab.
I love this boy, he will be an absolute star when he matures but right now I'm too scared to even do ground work with him.
I have been justifying it to myself by saying I'm letting him just grow out and be a horse for a while but the longer I ignore this the harder it gets.

Someone please give me a kick up the backside! I really want to enjoy this horse and it's making me pretty sad.

 

[fidleyspromise]

I felt like this with one of mine.
Having an instructor out helped me. Just confidence of having someone there.- this pony never put a foot wrong yet one day it took 3 minutes just for me to just sit on her.

 

[Bob notacob]

Just go back to the basics. Its not a race! Work with what you and your horse are comfortable with .Get a raport. then later you have something to work forward on>

 

[IveRunOutOfNamesToThinkOf]

I agree with going back to basics, he reacted as something was wrong and was letting you know he was uncomfortable, despite him being in pain he didn’t buck or bite you, he told you. That shows he trusts you. You’ve done the correct thing and fixed it, give him some TLC and get back on, you know what to do if something doesn’t feel right again, because you’ve already done the right thing once

 

[ponynutz]

It might take him a bit to readjust to his saddle fitting, he might be expecting some pain anyway but he clearly trusts you enough to tell you when something is wrong. I'd say now is the perfect time to do some work with an instructor and work on building that trust so that it goes both ways. He's young and you have plenty of time with him, he's a blank canvas after all, so there's no rush.

 

[Lois Lame]

I understand the feeling as in the past, I have lost confidence with a horse too. One of those horses I had on trial; I ended the trial when I realised the horse needed a more dominant owner. Another horse, a mare, did nothing more than put her ears back when I patted her when she was eating. It was drought. She was hungry. I knew I shouldn't be feeling so pathetic but I couldn't help it. I sold her some time afterwards. (I hadn't had her long and had done nothing much with her.)

But this horse of yours isn't needing a stronger personality in his owner; he needs you. You've had a bit of a eurrggh moment and it's knocked your confidence. But, as has been said, he had a problem, you sort a fix and got it, and now you just need to make your way back. Little steps. Maybe riding in an indoor arena with a good instructor would help.

 

[luckyoldme]

What bob notacob said!
I felt like this with my horse and it's an awful feeling. I'm went right back to basics and got to know each other from the ground up.
It led to one of the happiest times of my life !

 

[sassandbells]

I have also felt like this with my old horse. The best things I did was going back to basics and getting a supportive instructor to work with us. She was able to notice when I’d get tense and would talk me through it all and things just got gradually easier.

Youve done the completely right thing in fixing the issue, and he was rather polite to tell you in the way he did so he obviously trusts you! Just take it slowly and you’ll get there

 

[Red-1]

I have sometimes felt this with a horse who is in pain. I used to teach clients on a mainly confidence based business and would often ride the horses for clients to demo, do something first, to teach the horse something or simply to feel the horse out.

One horse that I rode for a nervous client was peculiar as I felt totally safe riding him one way, as in on one rein, yet totally unsafe and nervous myself when riding on the opposite rein. As soon as I changed rein again, I once more felt safe.

On the face of it, the horse rode the same both reins. But, I didn't feel the same...

I suggested the client refer the horse for a performance work-up due to this and the vet did find a source of pain, that was real but had not yet made the horse actually lame. The horse was treated and put on rehab, but then sadly did actually go slightly lame.

It confirmed in my mind though that often, when someone suddenly becomes nervous on their horse, it is often due to a pain response. Something I had always 'known' but this one was incontrovertible.

With your horse, you too have found pain, hopefully removed its cause and are wanting to ride. I do think long term saddle damage can take longer than 6 weeks to 'cure' though. Also, the horse will still be expecting that pain.

You could simply turn away a few more weeks then start slowly. I would be inclined to switch to a wool lined saddle cloth, not least so it feels different to the horse. Then saddle up without riding until the horse is cool with that, then mount and dismount until the horse is also cool with that, then start work slowly until the horse is cool with everything.

Alternatively, let someone who is not nervous, but also not gung ho come and help you. They may think the horse is still feeling their back, or they may ride the horse until the horse realises there is now no pain.

 

[shanti]

Thank you everyone, it is really helpful to know that other people have experienced this.
I have been doing in hand walking with him through the pine forest and it is helping me to get to know him better.
@Red-1 I'm really glad you said that. I'm pretty much thinking the same way, and feel he needs a bit longer to recover, it's sometimes hard to not listen to others who are pushing me to start riding straight away, and even if he is ok I don't think it's a great idea to ride when I'm feeling scared anyway. I will try your suggestion of saddling him with no expectations, if nothing else it might help with his manners when tacking up as he can be a bit fidgety.

 

[JumpTheMoon1]

No horse owner should be " scared " of their horses.You really need to get your act together and stop all this fear before another good horse is ruined by an incompetent owner.Get on with what you have to do and drop the fear as your horse will sense this and if you cant then you should not be around horses.As you said the horse has done nothing wrong only to alert you he was in pain.Get out there and give him a big hug and a kiss and drop the fear as he has not caused you anything to be afraid of.

 

[Abacus]

No horse owner should be " scared " of their horses.You really need to get your act together and stop all this fear before another good horse is ruined by an incompetent owner.Get on with what you have to do and drop the fear as your horse will sense this and if you cant then you should not be around horses.As you said the horse has done nothing wrong only to alert you he was in pain.Get out there and give him a big hug and a kiss and drop the fear as he has not caused you anything to be afraid of.

Another nonsense post from this individual. I’m not going to waste time pulling this apart but this troll only ever posts absurdities, presumably for the fun of the replies. Best ignored. I’m only replying in case the OP takes it seriously.

 

[little_critter]

No horse owner should be " scared " of their horses.You really need to get your act together and stop all this fear before another good horse is ruined by an incompetent owner.Get on with what you have to do and drop the fear as your horse will sense this and if you cant then you should not be around horses.As you said the horse has done nothing wrong only to alert you he was in pain.Get out there and give him a big hug and a kiss and drop the fear as he has not caused you anything to be afraid of.

Wow
Not sure that’s quite the kick up the backside OP was hoping for.
OP give yourself some time, if you feel expectation from your peers then say you are giving him a break to grow up.
Take small steps with no expectations or deadlines, one thing will lead to another and your trust will come back.
Finding a sensitive instructor to guide you would be a good idea. Are you able to give an idea of your location?
You could also look into in hand work, it is very beneficial for horses so you can continue his schooling without actually riding.

 

[tda]

. I will try your suggestion of saddling him with no expectations, if nothing else it might help with his manners when tacking up as he can be a bit fidgety.

That's great then, you have a good place to start. By the time you've finished he will stand rock still to be tacked up
When you have cracked that (doesn't matter how long it takes) you can start something else

 

[scats]

No horse owner should be " scared " of their horses.You really need to get your act together and stop all this fear before another good horse is ruined by an incompetent owner.Get on with what you have to do and drop the fear as your horse will sense this and if you cant then you should not be around horses.As you said the horse has done nothing wrong only to alert you he was in pain.Get out there and give him a big hug and a kiss and drop the fear as he has not caused you anything to be afraid of.

Who put 20p in the troll?
Ignore this OP, there’s some great advice on this thread. This person pops up every now and again largely to be rude, which is uncalled for.

 

[ycbm]

I have sometimes felt this with a horse who is in pain. I used to teach clients on a mainly confidence based business and would often ride the horses for clients to demo, do something first, to teach the horse something or simply to feel the horse out.

One horse that I rode for a nervous client was peculiar as I felt totally safe riding him one way, as in on one rein, yet totally unsafe and nervous myself when riding on the opposite rein. As soon as I changed rein again, I once more felt safe.

On the face of it, the horse rode the same both reins. But, I didn't feel the same...

I suggested the client refer the horse for a performance work-up due to this and the vet did find a source of pain, that was real but had not yet made the horse actually lame. The horse was treated and put on rehab, but then sadly did actually go slightly lame.

It confirmed in my mind though that often, when someone suddenly becomes nervous on their horse, it is often due to a pain response. Something I had always 'known' but this one was incontrovertible.

This is very interesting!

I felt scared of what Ludo might do, for the first time since I backed him at 3, and for no reason I could put my finger on at all, 2 weeks before we managed to get him to show lame in a workup.

I couldn't understand that at all, until now.
.

 

[cjwchez]

Putting his tack on and taking him out for some walks in-hand is a great place to start. This should hopefully build up your confidence that he's good with the new saddle and that you can take him out without anything bad happening / see that there's nothing to be nervous about.

I've had an issue myself recently where my horse hadn't done anything wrong, but I was really nervous to get on him and ride after weeks of not riding. (My issue is that during the winter months I can't hack out when its torrential rain/strong winds so the weather sometimes means I can't ride for weeks at a time. I don't have an arena as he lives out so all we do is hack) I found that the more time that went by and the more I put it off the worse my anxiety got about getting back on. So it got up to around 6 weeks the same as you and it started affecting me mentally that I wasn't feeling confident enough to take him out for a hack.

Weather permitting, I started to take him out for some in-hand walks first down the bridleways where we usually hack and then just bit the bullet and got back on one day, and the hack was great! Now, I feel so silly for being a bag of nerves a few weeks ago, but these things happen.

Once you get back on I am sure everything will be absolutely fine you got this!

 

[shanti]

A troll would have to do better than that to upset me. That's pretty much what I have been saying to myself everyday anyway.

Thank you all, I will keep plodding along and put all these suggestions into our routine. I was dreading posting this but I'm glad I did, I feel a lot less stressed about it all. Thanks!

 

[Horseysheepy]

I once felt like this on a homebred mare, I helped her being born and knew her like the back of my hand.
Yet, I went through a stage when she hit five and she became like a teenager.
I overheard a fellow livery say, she'll never get back on that horse, you'd have to pay me danger money to get up on that 'thing'.
Of course, that was a red rag to a bull for me, yet I was quite thankful for their comments because I organised a block of several weekly lessons with a lovely, sympathetic dressage trainer who helped me to get her where she needed to be and iron out all of the creases in our training.
We totally flew after that!
Id got myself into a negative state of mind, like a solid block in my head which took an outside helper to help me to get rid of, to then help my mare shine.
I suggest lessons on the horse, in a quiet arena, away from people watching you with a sympathetic instructor.
Good luck we've all been there

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

A troll would have to do better than that to upset me. That's pretty much what I have been saying to myself everyday anyway.

Thank you all, I will keep plodding along and put all these suggestions into our routine. I was dreading posting this but I'm glad I did, I feel a lot less stressed about it all. Thanks!

I would get your instructor to get on first then get on and just have a short lesson, that's how I started when I got nervous.

Then eventually I just got straight on I also would meet her while she rode one of hers and school with her, it just helps your confidence to have someone there you also get chatting and your mind gets distracted so you don't think about it so much.

 

[sunnyone]

Whilst I agree that instructors can help, I wonder if just having a friend around whilst you do X would help? Sometimes just knowing that there is someone about to give a helping hand is all that's needed.

 

[paddy555]

A troll would have to do better than that to upset me. That's pretty much what I have been saying to myself everyday anyway.

Thank you all, I will keep plodding along and put all these suggestions into our routine. I was dreading posting this but I'm glad I did, I feel a lot less stressed about it all. Thanks!

feel grateful that your brain has kept you safe by making you scared as it realised what could have happened. Now you have to retrain your brain so it understands you have taken action and it is now safe.

This is very interesting!

I felt scared of what Ludo might do, for the first time since I backed him at 3, and for no reason I could put my finger on at all, 2 weeks before we managed to get him to show lame in a workup.

I couldn't understand that at all, until now.
.

I have been in a similar position pretty recently. There was no reason on the surface that the horse would do anything. I thought I was being pathetic and so did OH along with my vets. In fact one of them very politely told me to send the horse away for some training as he would pass a 5 stage vetting. Something, presumably intuition insisted it was not safe and if I didn't get the message it would make me just about unable to ride this horse I would be too scared. . I could happily ride other horses, it had no problem there.

The horse panicked and took flight. That was the end result of what he did under a certain set of circumstances whether led or ridden. Fortunately I managed to get off each time but lost the horse. However sometimes he didn't he was perfect, other days he was what I now know to be terrified. If I was scared he was more so.

OH rode him a few times and managed to hit his good days but did have one or two small incidents. Then OH rode him and I was leading another horse. The stimulus happened. I could see it happen, grabbed OH off him, neither of us could hold him and he ran and ran for about 45 minutes.

Got him home, finally listened to the poor old brain and stopped riding him. Didn't feel scared around him, my inner self was happy that was safe just don't get on and put him in the situation. The situation was people, horses, cattle in fact anything in front of him that moved. A group of walkers in the middle distance had caused the last incident. They didn't stand still they moved.

Did endless training in hand with things jumping out at him, moving etc etc but whilst he was OK brain/inner self wasn't and it still wouldn't let me get on. It was right I hadn't solved the problem.

After a very very long time analysing every movement and situation and everything else plus making the horse blind in one eye I worked out the problem and, without any vet support (they just didn't believe me) moved to the solution. The solution was remove one eye. That is a very scary thing to do when you are the only one who thinks it is the problem.

Now I have a totally different horse. We are learning again about things in hand.. Each time he does something in a normal fashion without thinking about it my brain registers a bit more as being safe. Some cows ran past us. In the past he would have turned and run in panic, very fast and very far. I saw the approaching cows, my brain when "Jeez" horse kept walking and said what was the problem. We found some more cows to pass and horse was again normal. Same with walkers and everything else.

It takes a long time Shanti and you have to build up very slowly to get rid of the fear. As someone said above
it is not a race. I don't care how long this takes me. Enjoy the journey.

Mine had ERU and sub clinical below the surface head pain for a fair amount of the time. This was like a migraine. On good days he was OK on bad days it hurt. He is a very kind genuine horse and put up with a lot of this pain. This was coupled to the fact that presumably when it happened what he saw was not what normal horses saw. It appeared one eye was normal but the signals sent to his brain from the bad eye totally distorted his vision and make him terrified.

Make him blind in the bad eye and he was 90% better until the head pain came and then he freaked again. Freak for him was flight.

There just seems to be something in people, some inner sense, which if allowed comes to the surface and tells us there is a problem even though there is no reason for one. I think some people are more receptive to that and some dismiss it.

 

[poiuytrewq]

No horse owner should be " scared " of their horses.You really need to get your act together and stop all this fear before another good horse is ruined by an incompetent owner.Get on with what you have to do and drop the fear as your horse will sense this and if you cant then you should not be around horses.As you said the horse has done nothing wrong only to alert you he was in pain.Get out there and give him a big hug and a kiss and drop the fear as he has not caused you anything to be afraid of.

Oh my god!! Just actually piss off if you can’t be supportive in a nice way.
Some of your replies are just bloody nasty.

 

[Surbie]

Another nonsense post from this individual. I’m not going to waste time pulling this apart but this troll only ever posts absurdities, presumably for the fun of the replies. Best ignored. I’m only replying in case the OP takes it seriously.

Was a post removed?

 

[SEL]

This is very interesting!

I felt scared of what Ludo might do, for the first time since I backed him at 3, and for no reason I could put my finger on at all, 2 weeks before we managed to get him to show lame in a workup.

I couldn't understand that at all, until now.
.

Such an interesting thread. I said to my friend I couldn't understand my anxiety over taking baby cob on a short hack that he's done weekly for months. Put it down to age and hormones.

He came in "not quite right" last weekend and I did wonder if my subconscious had picked up the NQR and his tension a couple of weeks before. He's a genuine boy and has done nothing at all to justify my anxiety.

 

[Abacus]

Was a post removed?

Post 11 was the one I was referring to

 

[paddy555]

Was a post removed?

don't think so, it is post 11. Is this dunroamin?

 

[Surbie]

Post 11 was the one I was referring to

Aaaaaahhh! I only have one person on UI. I'm really not used to how it works. I'll take myself away again as anything remotely sensible I could have added to the OP post has already been said more eloquently. I hope you can sort it out OP. Lots of us have been there. Me included.