super duper helper required

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trickivicki

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It would seem that my irrational and uncontrollable confidence crisis is back despite nothing having happened!!

Do you think I would be able to find able so and so to compete pony for me? And maybe ride once in the week to get used to him?

No jobs, no money, entry fees and transport paid, they dont even have to tack up if they dont want to!!

It just seems such a shame that ponies education should be put on hold because i'm clinically insane!!!
 
Well, I'd do it and I doubt I'd be the only one :)

Why not put an ad up in your local feed shop and see what response you get?
 
Schooling nicely and consistently in all 3 paces on the flat. Willing over fences. The perfect most gentlemanly hack both alone and in company. Not called perfect p for no reason!!!

I just have real up down confidence issues
 
Hmmm, I was asked by an owner to do exactly what you are asking for exactly the same reason, pretty much perfect pony just needed bit more schooling and owner with a confidence crisis. I tried politely telling her that it was HER horse and she would be better off doing it but I was happy to help. Luckily her son came home and told her the same thing but much more forcefully and also pointed out that the only problem was in her head not her ability or the horse and someone else riding would not change. If anything it could make it worse as she would be constantly comparing herself to another rider. So now shes bitten the bullet is riding her own horse and the world hasn't ended, I'm not competing it and I am very happy with that outcome.

Point I am trying to make is that this is YOUR horse and you obviously believe in him so start believing in yourself and get out there. Everything starts with baby steps, your horse doesn't give a damn whether hes competing affiliated or a local show (he'd rather be in the field) so neither should you. From the sounds of it you have a very lovely horse and a hard sort to find. You are very lucky, so please just enjoy that.

I'm sorry if this isn't exactly the response you were expecting, but if the lady I know hadn't had a bit of a push then she wouldn't have started to believe in herself. I hope you find that 'push' too.
 
I very much agree! But the anxiety attacks are so irregular I just can't be consisten with him (and unfortunately affect my non- horsey life as well) I have weekly lessons and a great yo/ instructor but he needs to be doing in the mean time.

I should take up knitting!
 
Hobbitpony said:
Hmmm, I was asked by an owner to do exactly what you are asking for exactly the same reason, pretty much perfect pony just needed bit more schooling and owner with a confidence crisis. I tried politely telling her that it was HER horse and she would be better off doing it but I was happy to help. Luckily her son came home and told her the same thing but much more forcefully and also pointed out that the only problem was in her head not her ability or the horse and someone else riding would not change. If anything it could make it worse as she would be constantly comparing herself to another rider. So now shes bitten the bullet is riding her own horse and the world hasn't ended, I'm not competing it and I am very happy with that outcome.

Point I am trying to make is that this is YOUR horse and you obviously believe in him so start believing in yourself and get out there. Everything starts with baby steps, your horse doesn't give a damn whether hes competing affiliated or a local show (he'd rather be in the field) so neither should you. From the sounds of it you have a very lovely horse and a hard sort to find. You are very lucky, so please just enjoy that.

I'm sorry if this isn't exactly the response you were expecting, but if the lady I know hadn't had a bit of a push then she wouldn't have started to believe in herself. I hope you find that 'push' too.
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Can you find a sympathetic instructor to help and maybe do some riding? I often ride clients horses to help with their confidence issues.
 
trickivicki said:
I very much agree! But the anxiety attacks are so irregular I just can't be consisten with him (and unfortunately affect my non- horsey life as well) I have weekly lessons and a great yo/ instructor but he needs to be doing in the mean time.

I should take up knitting!
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What makes you so anxious?
 
I have no idea but the attacks are very embarassing!

I am regularly unable to socialise with friends (non horsey) or walk home from work or drive at times.

Some days I can canter and jump in our jumping field other days I can't let go of my neck strap in walk in the arena.

All completely non-linked with no incidents to start them off I just get in a right pickle!
 
It sounds like you are having anxiety or panic attacks.
I didnt realise you were feeling so bad,re my reply above:eek:
I would think a therapist of some kind would help as you cannot be at all happy like this.
I am sorry you are in this situation and urge you to seek help and do try and find a rider to do something with your horse in the meantime.
Good luck:)
 
Won't help until September(ish) but how about putting an ad up/contacting an agricultural college horsey section if you have one nearby? A student has just started helping me out and she is brilliant!! And to make it even better she does exactly what I ask her to do with the horse and never takes the p***.
 
Its hopeless isn't it!

I am a bit unsure about seeking medical help as a bit anti-drugs and have spoken to various people before and antidepressanty type things seem to be suggested first.

It does seem to be affected by diet alot (eg caffeine is a complete no go!) But so many things seem to affect it I have no way of really controlling it.

It would just be nice if when I have a good couple of days pony had progressed/ kept going as if I had been able to work him correctly in the bad weeks
 
I did think student as we are very close to a sports uni but during the regular holidays I would be stuck when they went home
 
trickivicki said:
I have no idea but the attacks are very embarassing!

I am regularly unable to socialise with friends (non horsey) or walk home from work or drive at times.

Some days I can canter and jump in our jumping field other days I can't let go of my neck strap in walk in the arena.

All completely non-linked with no incidents to start them off I just get in a right pickle!
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Firstly, big hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Secondly, lets get you un-pickled. I don't know how because I'm not an un-pickler but I think getting a rider is a really good idea. You shouldn't be rushing yourself and making yourself ride before you are ready to and feel happy to do so. Then perhaps look to see about getting you out of this vicious circle. There must be a trigger somewhere, we must find it and kill it!

I'm so sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm giving advice, I'm not, it's just I've been here before once and not that I profess to know how you're feeling but I can only imagine all you really want to do is enjoy your horse.

xx
 
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If only you were closer I would jump at the chance and know several others that also would :) There are definatly people out there that would be willing to help you out whilst you get your self in a better position. How about going to a local show and looking at the riders there to see who you like the style of. Fingers crossed you find someone.
 
Thank you for all your kind replies and pm's (which I dont seem to be able to reply to on here).

Firstly, we are in broadheath.
secondly, I would be happy for him to have a go at anything (within reason)!

I'm glad I posted, its quite a relief to have got this off my chest
 
Oh I didn't mean to be paid for just as a gesture of help. But if you have an instructor I wouldn't want to interfere or cause confusion. :)
 
So sorry your feeling so bad but I completely sympathise. I used to have agoraphobia and anxiety attacks couldn't even leave my house for a few months :( I had hypnotherapy and cbt( cognitive behaviour therapy) which helps you to understand your triggers even when they don't seem obvious. I also tried antidepressants and wouldn't recommend them very good at covering up problems.

I also found it helpful to keep a note of when you had the panic attacks, how you felt what situation you were in who was there etc etc just so you can look back and try to rationalise your feelings.

The best piece of advice I was ever given was that when you feel the panic attack coming on the worst thing you can do is leave the situation, I know how hard it is but you need to sit out the panic attack.

I hope some of this helps you are not alone!!;)
 
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