Support from OHs

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Marquire

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A friend and I were chatting last night and got around to talking about how important it is to have a supportive OH when you are a horse owner. Now my friend thinks her OH is supportive because he doesn't complain about all the time she spends at the yard or the full days at competitions every weekend. However, he never comes to the yard, or goes to competitions with her or contributes anything financially towards her horse.

My OH on the other hand comes to yard at least once a day if not twice to help me turn out, bring in, muck out etc and has been at every competiton I've gone to as general groom and dogsbody, reading dressage tests, tacking and untacking GB etc. He also pays half of everything. Admittedly he rides too and we have a mare on half loan for him to hack but even when it's not his day for the mare he still likes to come to the yard (normally to play with the yard dogs!).

Maybe my situation is unusually but I'd be interested to hear what level of support you all get from your OHs.
 
My OH would be like your friends as in he never complains about time or money spent on the nags. All the funding comes out of our joint account. He plays football on a Sat, 5 a side on a Sun and trains twice a week so it works really well!
The major problem is that he is allergic to them and cant spend any long periods of time arround them so he cant come to shows etc!
 
My OH is unbelievably supportive- he comes to the yard most nights and helps out. He does'nt ride and the one and only time he did he fell off and ended up having his leg operated on
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He also runs round after me at shows etc and contributes financially if I ever need it

I am very lucky
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My Oh claims to hate horses.

He gets in from work at 6.30 am and sits with the kids whilst i muck out etc. He then goes to bed, gets up at midday, has the baby whilst i go back to the yard to T/O etc.
He then cooks tea whilst i go back and take eldest to ride or whatever. I come in to a lovely hot meal.
 
yup - mine is brilliant. 18 months ago he had never been near a horse, now he can do everything, is down everynight to help me, rides occasionally, has learned all about tack and feeds and rugs etc and gives me a night off whenever I like. I could never have had 4 horses without him - he always points out they are 'our horses' and although he earns a lot more than I do he doesnt moan about what they cost, or the fact we spend all night/weekends there. He will pay for anything I cant.

In return I spend time getting involved in his hobby, retro mountain bikes, don't comment on how much its costs (as much as the horses at times) or how many bikes he has. I now have a bike too and am going out with the guys from his biking forum on Sat for a 15 mile ride round the North Downs.

My ex was a nightmare, hated the horse, the money I spent and the time he took up - so I do realise how very lucky i am now...
 
Well, I suppose mine falls more into the category of your friend.
I pay for all horse related things myself, which is fair enough, as we have a similar income and i don't expect him to contribute, and I had horses before i met him.
Time wise, I am never home til 8-9pm at night, which i sometimes feel guilty about, but he also plays squash and 5 aside 3 times a week, so it's not like he's sitting at home alone pining for me
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I do spend a lot of time at the yard at weekends, but he uses that time as "chill" time, and watches footie, sees friends etc...

However, he is far more keen in the spring/summer, and will often come down to help out/poo pick etc, and will accompany me on hacks while he walks/runs out with us. He has "ridden" bob a few times, but has no desire to take it up as a hobby, as it's not his "thing". He is definitely a fair weather horsey partner!!

However, when i have been away or poorly, he has done everything for Bob, as he has learned about his feeds/rugs/mucking out routine etc...
Also, I am sure he will come along to shows/competitions if i ask him.
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I'm really lucky in that my OH rides also. He has his own horse and we do tend to share the work. He generally does the mornings and me the evenings and we go to the yard together when we are both off. Only trouble with this is our events tend to clash so we have to try and take it in turns to go to events / be groom.
 
Mine is like your friend. He says he hates horses (because he's scared of them) and in the nine years together I have never been able to persuade him to have a go on one. He seems convinced that I will slap it on the arse and crease up laughing as it gallops off into the distance with him! I would never risk a horse injuring itself in such a way!!

Anyway, he occasionally remarks 'did you forget where you live?" but doesn't really mind me being out most of the weekend horseying and now and again as a break from his studies/guitar practise he actually cleans the house up!
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My OH is like your friend's - he doesn't contribute time or money towards my horse. It's my hobby, and I appreciate the fact that he never complains about the amount of time it involves for me, and he does a lot round the house whilst I'm out riding.
He helped out at a dressage comp last year, and proved to be a good horse holder but he did get fed up with the hanging around. In the summer he'll occasionally walk up to the stables with me to check on the horses in the field, and makes them grass and polo 'sandwiches' which I think is very sweet.
TBH I think it would drive me mad if he was up at the stables all the time - it's my 'me' time.
 
My OH will muck out/turn out/do feet/rugs etc, lunges, takes me to anything I want to go to - will ride occasionally (used to have his own horse and compete) He is allergic to dust so spends a lot of time sneezing - AND he does all the cooking so I get in from work and ride while he cooks the dinner! Downside is that I think my horse loves him more than me!!!!!
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Financially I try to pay for everything, but he will help out if I am stuck (he owns a small share of said horse) I would still cope if he didn't help out, but it's much nicer that he takes an interest. He works nights so if we didn't do the horses together, we wouldn't see each other much.
 
Mine refuses to get on anything which has a 'mind of it's own'. I can see his point.
But he really has no understanding of horses at all.....
 
Mine is the perfect (for me!) balance. He is happy to pay for the horse's upkeep, happy to tag along to shows, will always support Troggy when she competes, helps exercise the youngster, does endless repairs, shifts heavy stuff, maintains the trailer etc, steps in to help out with horse care when asked yet most of the time keeps away, and lets us get on with it. Brilliant!
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My OH helps me every night (when he is in this country, been working in Thailand for 9 months), he is happy to muck out, do waters, but hates filling haynets and is happy to fetch in with me, have four horses so bring two each down, he's ok about coming to comps with, even if it's freezing cold and raining, all he asks for is a good cup of tea and a bacon roll.......... He is very very supportive......
 
Mind is a farmer and says he hates horses although he is putting a new fence up around one of his field so Pairs can stay over the summer!! I think he lies and really love them.
 
I am refered to by my OH as her outdoors !, He walks up with the dogs to see them ever so often, but has no role supportive or finacial. He is quite happy about all the time spent, does most of the housework and cooking and apart from when I run a little late and get the comment your dinners in the dog he is fine. My neice is now taking a keen interest so he is running her to and from her riding lessons so in many respects he is very supportive really.
 
Mine is a star.
He gets up every day at 5.30 (except when he is on nights) to go up and feed and turn out.
He is forever making the 20 mile round trip to drop off or pick up my daughter...she 's not his daughter and does more for her than her real Dad does.
Never moans about cost and is even encouraging me to get another one so that I am happy.
 
Mine complains about how much they cost. I pay for them though although he will help me out at times. he used to compalin about how much time they took up and hated helping me at the yard.

3 months ago he would hardly do anything with the horses but he really enjoys them. One day I was really ill but was meant to be looking after all the horses at the yard. He took the day off work and did everything, even mucking out 4 stables, taking Amber out for a walk (she was staying in that day), taking the big spooky horse out. I was so proud
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Now he is quite willing to help me out, he even sorted out some of the fencing, is willing to help my YO move a couple of horses long distance, is reading every book on horses I have and actually wants to learn to RIDE
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So he has gone from completly unsupportive (even though he let me get Amber) to very supportive and loves horses.
 
My OH has only recently (i.e. the past sort of 6 weeks!
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) started coming to the yard with me on a Sunday... on the condition that he can bring the dog and mess around with the JCB and the tractor!
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He has managed to lead Saracen in from the field and if he's feeling helpful he'll empty wheelbarrows while i muck out but thats generally as far as it goes.
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He works evenings and nights during the week so wouldn't be able to come with me then even if he wanted to!
 
My OH doesn't come to the yard very often, but to be honest - thats how I like it
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. I like my quiet time up there. He would come up if I asked him too, but he's happier at home playing the computer. He was a bit wary after I broke my leg, didn't want me riding strange horses etc, but I think I would be the same if he was injured doing his hobbies.
 
my OH is great. he loves fishing so he does that and i do the horse. but if i need help he's always there. he has no fear so just gets on it. my mare poppy loves him! the last week i've not been able to move because i've hurt my back so he's been doing poppy after work for me. he even tows the trailer to shows for me if i cant get a horse box. only thing he wont do is ride poppy.she's to bouncy for him!but i have taught him to lunge!
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but in the summer he does my friends safe as houses cob!
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I'm lucky, he encourages me to ride etc - will come up and help out when asked. Has bought me a trailer - with the view to putting the mountain bike in one side and coming biking while I ride - Madam Donkey has put stop to that by needing a whole trailer!!!!!!!!!!
 
It is difficult...my OH is not really horsey but does like my horse and will come to see him now and again (about once a week or so in the better weather). But he won't hang around while I do stuff or wait.
I keep meaning to get him better trained in case of emergencies, however he can do the basics and would never see my horse not cared for correctly if something happened to me.
So he is a bit inbetween really becasuse he is supportive of what I do and he is paid for from a joint account but won't come to events or anything. I sometimes feel under pressure too from the time it takes to do him whilst my OH is at home 'waiting' so I do things early in the morning but could no way spend all day with my horse just messing about on the yard...that would be too much!
I have to say though that his lack of interest in getting too involved or riding is fine because I enjoy my time with my horse and would not want to share that or have someone telling me to hurray up all the time or something!
 
Mine pretty much keeps himself to himself. He has been helping me out a little financially with my horse as I have been unable to work. He comes to shows when I go - But that is only 5/6 times a year at the moment due to no transport.
The more time he spends with Mick (my horse) the more he 'doesn't mind him'! He sometimes comes out walking when I go hacking. Can't imagine him volunteering to muck out a stable though or poo pick!!!!
The funniest thing was one day after I had shampooed Mic, spent ages getting all his white bits gleaming. I asked OH to graze him in hand whilst he dried off and I mucked out. I said whatever you do, don't let him roll. Well, the next thing you know, I look up from my mucking out and there is my horse rolling and getting covered in grass stains whilst OH stands there on the end of the rope apparently not knowing what to do!!!!
 
My OH is useless, hates horses and rarely supports me in my hobby. I had horses before we got together and whilst he accepts they are part of my life he'll never be very impressed by it all. I pay for the horsey stuff myself and he never helps. Actually, he has helped with repairs to the stables etc and he will come up to the field with the dogs buts thats as far as it goes.
 
Your OH sound great. My OH rarely comes up to the yard, if he does its to look at the tractor/ empty muck heap for me, basically if it involves horses directly then forget it! He MIGHT do the water/haylage if he wants me to hurry up!!

He has been to about two shows with me and sat watching tv in the wagon!- good job my dad comes to shows and helps me!

I think this is because he see's horses as a waste of alot of money, and a big tie- eg; going twice a day everyday, and struggling to go on hols ect. I understand where he's coming from but i do wish he'd make more of and effort for me. I take interest in his interest, fast cars, tractors ect!

And after hating horses so much his business is for horses. (He constructs arenas, stable bases, fencing ect.) so i suppose he deals with horse owners/ see's other peoples horses everyday so doesnt want to go near my horses or yard!- typical!
 
Have to say My hubbie is fantastic .... Although he again like katy "hates horses" .... He pays for mainly everything that I have asked for ( i only work 2 days aweek as i stay at home with kids and gee gee) ... He will muck out, drive me to shows , havent mastered the towing yet, He went last night and got hay for me.


He is going to be showing our yearling at balmoral this year , even though he " hates horses" ... I have also seen him talk to her ( shhhuuusshhh dont tell him ) .... He has went horse riding with me a few times when we have been on holiday and had a right laugh at him , Told him to lean back whilst we where cantering , a few minutes later he knew why pmsl , We where coming towards a small hill, I looked back and seen his face , It was pricless pmsl !! *sniggers still to this day*
He will also keep the boys and ask me if i want to go out the yard and work the yearling .

He really is the best hubbie .
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Mine is the same as your friends. He never comes to the yard but never complains about the length of time I spend with the horses. He also contributes a bit more towards to the mortgage as I have my livery to pay. I pay for everything for my three myself. Mum helps me out if I'm desperate, ie. unexpected vet bill.

I think it's quite nice to have a little haven to yourself where you can get away from everyone and just be at the yard. Also hubby doesn't drive which puts limitations on as yard is about 12 miles away from our house.

Sounds like loads of you have saints !!
 
My OH is a saint!

He helps me out cost wise, helps out at the stables whenever I ask & never complains about me being awol constantly!

He knows I'll never give up my horses or competing & that he'd be out the door if he asked me too.
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I have a wonderful OH - he was totally not interested in horses till he met me and now he owns my horse, is eventing every week with me, videos me and takes me all over the place for lessons. He also pays for quite a bit as I am usually broke. He talks about learning to ride but I am trying to discourage this! In fact without him I would not be able to event as I have not got round to taking my trailer test. In fact he is ace.
 
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