Support

M

Morrigan_Lady

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www.teamterrellshowjumping.co.uk

Just curious to know how much support you get from your family for your competitions?
Like, does your family take your competition career seriously? Do they go to Comps / Training sessions with you?
Do they engourage you? And encourage you do well and push yourself?
 
My mum events with me - so yeah, she supports me quite a lot
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But the rest of my family don't really show an interest..
They don't really understand what an achievement it is to get placed etc, and although they sometimes come along to competitions they only do so because they feel they 'ought to'
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I suppose I'm lucky with the fact that my mum does it too, cause a lot of people just do it on their own!
I can't begin to imagine what that is like!
 
My parents were really supportive when I was a kid, my mum competed herself and that gradually took a back seat as I got more and more into it. For a few years both my parents and I were competing, we used to put 3 in the lorry, a trailer behind it with 2 in, and have a car pulling another trailer with another two! During my first two years at uni I drove home on Thursdays and back to uni on sunday night. In the mean time she rode and looked after my horses. We had a pretty big argument after one event when I won quite a lot of money and she kept it. After that I worked to have enough money to pay my own way but she still helped me loads. After she died I had the horses at Uni, 3 on DIY during finals!

Nowadays my dad lives abroad, but takes an interest. My husband is pretty good about coming to events and I have to say I don't ride nearly as well when he isn't there. He is good at fetching and carrying and can hold a horse if its behaving! He is also fab at keeping the lorry tidy as the day goes on which I'm rubbish at. He supports me financially as well.
 
my mum used to support me a lot, but it seems that her mission in life is to remember less and less about horses as she gets older! (she tried to take the horse's boots off before the sj at the last event she helped me at...) she's very supportive in other ways though, and always stresses that i should have fun, not to take it too seriously, etc.
she's a total wimp though so she's not allowed near the xc fences till i've been round, or all i'll get is "oh, gosh, that's HUGE, do you think (name of horse) can jump that?" which isn't exactly helpful...
hoping that my lovely boyfriend is going to be happy to help me this season... if not, i might be on here begging for the occasional hand at events!
 
Is this aimed purely at young people or can the old wrinklies join in?

I've got very used to going places alone obviously paid for by me but could really do with someone to come along for moral support now I'm starting a youngster. OH is hopeless and he just winds me up on the rare occasions he comes along
 
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Is this aimed purely at young people or can the old wrinklies join in?

I've got very used to going places alone obviously paid for by me but could really do with someone to come along for moral support now I'm starting a youngster. OH is hopeless and he just winds me up on the rare occasions he comes along

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No, old wrinklies can join in too!!
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I dont normally let my OH come to my comps, coz he's bad luck! I alwaya do really well when he's not there!
 
haha, my ex- used to be a jinx like that, and it mortified him... he was amazingly helpful, just the perfect groom really. until he got drunk waiting hours and hours for the A prize giving at Weston Park one year, and embarrassed me a LOT by trying to do the dog agility himself on all fours, cos he was so pi***d.
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haha, my ex- used to be a jinx like that, and it mortified him... he was amazingly helpful, just the perfect groom really. until he got drunk waiting hours and hours for the A prize giving at Weston Park one year, and embarrassed me a LOT by trying to do the dog agility himself on all fours, cos he was so pi***d.
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Ive got a pretty funny picture in my head now of a man on all fours doing a dog agility course!!
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my mum mainly...dad takes an interest as does my grandad too-so yes i am very lucky.

Kerilli-if you would like a hand at an event such as gt witchingham/poplar/burnham or anywhere unaff...i may well b able to come and help as long as im not working!! its ncie to have the day out even if im not competing digby BE yet!
 
My parents were completely non-horsey so always supportive but in a slightly bewildered kind of way (you got up at 4am, travelled miles, paid a fortune and came home with just a ROSETTE ??)
My OH is very good, he always comes along to support me and videos the test now I dressage instead of show. I dont like him around too much tho as Im usually quite nervous so I usually pack him off to eat a bacon sandwich or something ! Luckily I have a very good friend who always comes with me. I think it would be quite lonely and stressful doing it all on your own.
 
I don't really get much support from my family. My parents tend to come along, dad makes comments all the time about Oscar not really wanting to do dressage and can't I jump him instead as he'd prefer that!
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And if any horse does more than a walk my mum tends to stifle a scream!! She came to watch a while ago and in the test there was rein back and simple changes, she screamed and run out of the gallery as she was sure Osc was being naughty!!!
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OH tends to come and video my tests for me so that I can watch them back with my sheets, he used to come to help too but is doing that less and less since I did my trailer test.
I have huge support from one of my very good friends though. Although she rarely gets the time to come to comp's to watch, I speak to her daily about the horses and she knows my horse very well as he used to go to hers during the winter for schooling when I was working in the city and didn't have time. I sometimes wonder what I would do without her - she's the one that reminds me how far we've come when it's all going a bit wrong!
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And if any horse does more than a walk my mum tends to stifle a scream!! She came to watch a while ago and in the test there was rein back and simple changes, she screamed and run out of the gallery as she was sure Osc was being naughty!!!

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Hee Hee !! Funny how it must appear to NHP (non Horsey people). My OH came out with me hacking at the weekend on his bike - I said "Im always convinced youre going to fall off at any minute" and he said "thats funny because thats what I think every time I see you on that horse" !!
 
My OH sometimes comes on his bike when I take Osc to the country parks too! He's got quite used to Osc launching around a bit from time to time and doesn't seem to have any worries about my safety!!!
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My mum supports me so much, I could't do anything without her! She drives me to shows and for lessons. She used to help me out with practice jumps ect but I now try and take a friend along with me to do those and she's also been known to hold Lymp for me when I've been course walking
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She encourages me to do what I want to do
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OH comes along when he feels he has to...! He likes the cross country, but really doesn't see the point in the circles we have to do before!!!!!

My dad has always been incredibly supportive, even though he now lives 2 hrs away from me, he'll still come to any event he can. He doesn't really know much but will give it a go to help, he's good at studs, taking off boots, holding horses, leg ups etc all the useful things! Oh and when I was younger, being my number one driver! Also very useful! My mum comes to the odd event, but doesn't really understand it all.

I now also seem to have a bit of a support crew at work and have a few horsey friends who try to come to local events to support me as well which is really nice.
 
I'm a mum.

Daughter is 16 so I groom, course walk with her, help plait if we are taking 2, drive and pay for everything! I used to compete myself with no help from totally unhorsey parents, I hope I'm not pushy, I encourage her to do her best but also to know when she show not push the horses.
 
Nill Nada niet nothing.

The one time OH said he come he was supposed to arrive at yard to help me hitch up (this after 10+ years of doing it myself) he arrived at the competition venue after I'd completed my test. He was supposed to be calling for me to.

I was not impressed.

I'll stick to going it alone. Unless by some miracle I find someone one day who actually helps.
 
I'm very lucky and get lots of support!
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My Mum has been great , although she is not very horsey and does make me cringe a bit as she has no fear around horses, ginger beast is very good tho! I remember leaving her with my last horse after being xc, I'd washed him off and she was walking around the car park to dry him off, I walked away, heard a squeal and turned to find mum holding onto the end of the leadrope and naughty horse having a good roll!!! Very funny but very embarrassing too!!
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(Sorry that was totally pointless but makes me laugh!!)
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Husband is also very un horsey (but is coming along nicely
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!), bought him the 'Unpaid Groom' jersey which he loves! He comes to events armed with camera (he took the ones in my siggi) and is quite good at walking horse off after XC - although I did find him leading him around by his noseband on one of the first events he came to...quick lesson stopped that!!
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OH can be very competitive tho and I do feel the pressure sometimes! Also have a very good friend who comes to most of my events (she's also a sports psychologist so deals with OH pressures very well!!)
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Sounds like I have an army of helpers but they don't all come at once!! Couldn't do it without them!
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ooh, FranA, i might just take you up on that please... i am happy to do everything apart from take boots off before dressage, and put up sj practice jumps! those are the things that can really flummox me, i get stressy enough about the sj and if there's a selfish person putting them up huge when i want them small, and i'm on my own, i can get really tense and upset.
as i said, hoping new OH will enjoy it and get into coming along... he's ace with videocam so that can be one job for him, hope he'll be ace at doing studs too as long as the mare's sane!
he's very competitive though, so i think he'll be one of those who can't accept that a 4am start, £100 entry fee, getting home at 10pm totally exhausted, doing £80 on diesel, etc etc, is worth a piece of ribbon (if we're lucky...!)
 
lol well hopefully he will...obviously a lot of events are still an hours travel at least but to be honest if i am free its ncie to go and watch anyway so giving someone a hand is no problem, provided im not riding at the same time/working.
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Think there's a bit of a pattern forming here with competitive OH's!!!
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Ditto if you need help and you're over my way!!
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My OH comes with me and holds horse, calls tests, does bandages etc. He's very good, bless him. It took him a while to get the hang of calling tests as he didn't really know the letters, but he's quite good at it now. Long arena still confuses him though LOL
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But most of my support outside of the actual competition day itself comes from trainers and friends.
 
I'm really lucky, my OH supports us in many ways. He helps pay towards Fee's livery, comes with me to shows when he can and even helped me buy Fee!!

My family are totally non horsey and dont really get involved, my Mum is quite interested in what i do though. She always asks how i got on at a show and comes to watch a couple of times a year.

I'm on site with my trainer who gives me loads of support too!
 
When I was a kid, my mum would come and watch and once we got some transport which wasn't until I was about 17 she would drive us to shows. But I always paid for everything.

Now that I am an adult I do it all myself, when we lived on the yard my OH would do my studs for me the night before as that involved tools and was semi macho.

My sisters don't help me at all, they wouldn't even trot Dolly up for me to check if she was sound or not. If we are at the same shows they won't do a practice jump for me either.
 
Parents - zero. I compete most w'ends & they never, ever watch comps or lessons, not even when I qualified a horse for 3 classes in a dr championship & the venue was only 1/2 hour away.

My aunt - v interested & comes along to lots of shows. Came to watch me trying out horses when I was trying to find Cat's successor. Also brings her golfing friends to watch comps, which always seems to co-incide with me embarrassing myself horribly.

O/h - couldn't be better. Baths, washes tail, drives the lorry, grooms, changes WOW flaps between phases, helps me unplait afterwards, takes me to lessons. He is hard work to get out of bed, but apart from that, no complaints!!
 
I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing support network. my dad comes to practically every show with me, mam comes a few times a year though last season proved to be my lucky charm so going to get her to come to more this year. i'm based onsite with my trainers and they are amazing and i also have huge support from my best friend who is also an sjer
 
Can I reply as a parent?
It's not nice being the daughter of a former riding Instructor as CCJ will happily tell you; you're always expected to be fantastic at everything and to win everything your parents' failed to do!
Without meaning to you automatically assume because your child has been taught by you, they should be good.. I have tried hard to be supportive without pushy.
All three kids got ponies and I dutifully trudged along to rallies, PC camp etc, though I absolutely loathe the PC and the way it's run, when the boys gave up and C moved on I was happy to never be talked to like an idiot by people who knew a damn sight less than me again...(don't get me started, the one that springs to mind was C about to do a bigger height HT for the first time on a big sensible 16.1 hh gelding. PC official acting as starter "Oh dear Caroline, that horse is far too big for you to be competing in this class! Off you go I suppose..." (yes, she went clear and wisely didn't tell me of the above comment until we were many miles away)
Well both sons gave up aged around 13, they hunted, tetrathloned, enjoyed SJ etc but when they decided grooming and tacking up wasn't to their liking, I wisely backed off.
C however has been horse mad since the day she first set eyes onone, and it's really been more a case of me holding her back than the other way round.
We've supplied lots of home bred horses, paid all the bills, her Dad educated her re course walking, took her to numerous HT and he and she swept the board locally winning every Pairs Class for miles, (9 of them one year)
They even made an article in our weekly local paper about the father and daughter partnership. I taught her from around 2 years old until around 15 when she got arsey and answered me back, then I handed her over to the best trainers I could find. She did the college route for a year but without being rude her riding started going backwards as the standard was so low, so she left and went back to training at a dressage yard as a WP.
I couldn't bear to count how much money has been spent on lessons, it's definitely thousands of pounds rather than hundreds, but I tend to think of it as being at University, every lesson teaches you a little bit more skill to earn your living with. Now she can run a small yard, break and school horses completely without help other than holding as she gets on a youngster, and her teaching abilities are coming along really well too. People are starting to ask her to schol their horses so the money spent on training has paid off.
I always drove the trailer/lorry and acted as groom, and we make a reasonable partnership at events, I know exactly how she wants things done, which holes the bridles have to be on, which boots for which discipline etc and although we sometimes snap at each other mostly we get on ok.
She has other days out with her Dad doing un-aff stuff and they have great fun, two weeks ago they did a pairs SJ class purely for fun, and yes, they won that too.
Sometimes she will ask one of us for help on the ground, and sometimes even she has to admit to a baffling situation which I then offer a solution too..
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My experience is greater than hers when it comes to injuries so I tend to get asked about them, but only if they are serious ones.
There are days when I tell her to sod off I'm not driving the box, paying anymore bills etc, but the pleasure I get when I see her do well is indescribable. I was always feeble jumping, and she isn't which is great..Her Dad is a good all rounder and she has luckily inherited a lot of his ability plus he never gets nervous either..
(she only does SJ )
In a way yes, I'm living my dreams out through her, but actually I'm not, I never wanted to event!
These are her dreams not mine, and I just help them happen if I can.
At the moment she is aiming at being a full time event rider with a string of horses, but talking to our local professional they have to fund themselves by selling their best horses, which is something she may also have to face at some point.
She's very lucky she has mad parents who are willing to sacrifice holidays, new posh cars etc to help her achieve her dreams..
I should also say had she taken up ice skating/sky diving/dance etc we would have done exactly the same thing, I feel it's up to parent's to do what they can provided they don't resent it.
It does make it much more enjoyable to see her compete on a horse who I owned the dam, chose the sire , watched born and decided to keep to compete, now that's exciting!
So although we support her it's our own hobby too..so not totally unselfish really.
 
My family are semi supportive. My mum will come to competitions with me if I really need her to but she easily gets bored. Although now we've got the puppy shes getting quite excited and has said we need a trip to Richmond! My dad is great with the horsebox. He loves fiddling about with it when something goes wrong or if I need to go for shavings.
My Grandad is supportive of me. He doesnt come to competitions but he usually pays for my diesel and always asks me how I got on.

Last year I had a great friend who came with me.
 
My parents don't 'do' horses.
As a kid I used to beg lifts from people at the yard, or exchange work for a lift!
I remember being at a PC show and it being the first time my Dad had ever come to watch, I got eliminated at fence 3 and then got a massive lecture when I came out of the ring because I obviously wasn't riding well enough (probably true, but what did he know anyway).
Fast forward the clock 10 years and that was the second time my parents have come to watch, it was my first time jumping at Hickstead and they didn't want to get up at crack of dawn so said they would meet me there .... then spent all day complaining about the entry charges
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