surely a forum is a place for everyone to give an opinion?

twiggy2

twiggy2

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the whole people posting a question and then people getting slated for giving an opinion is really starting to get under my skin.

If I post a question/query or post asking for advice I do not expect everyone to be treading on egg shells when they write a response. We all know that the written word can come across more bluntly than intended sometime and in the past I have apologised when what I have written has done just that. When that has happened the apology has been accepted both posters have moved on with no hard feelings.

It seems to have got out of hand now though, If you don't want others peoples opinions on something do not post, the big advantage of a forum for me is that the advice you get is not personal (or shouldn't be) and sometimes you get/give a more to the point opinion than you would get/give face to face, that for me is a plus.

people can only respond to the information given and will do so, sometimes people are unkind on here but it is rare or it is repeated nastiness from the same posters so take it on the chin and move on.

if you are easily offended or want everyone to agree with you then don't post cos it want happen.

Personally i don't pussyfoot around people in real life situations so don't expect me to do it here-if you ask a question i will give an answer but it will be to the point and may be more helpful than answers from those that want to please you.
 
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I've been blindsided in the past by comments but like you say its the choice you make when you submit a thread

Tbh i think i have got off lightly sometimes!

I would rather have differing opinions and a bit of debate than no answers!

I have only been upset once on another forum where my thread was taken very personally by someone (post was unconnected to them completely) and whatever I said to try and placate them resulted in a new wave of fury :(
 
"Sigh" just wrote a lengthy reply and it disappeared :(
So the gist of it was - a forum is a pool of experience, and/or opinions. Opinions are fine if they are intended to help, but less so if they are more intended to display superior knowledge. Sometimes opinions may or may not be soundly evidence based, or sometimes they can be very biased. IMHO it is wise to ask yourself whether you are writing what you put to actually help answer the query or air your opinions even if they are unhelpful.
An enquirer doesn't always want the full spectrum of opinions, good or bad, they want help and support. If you genuinely think you can offer an alternative viewpoint, fine, otherwise ask yourself what is the purpose behind what you wrote. I am as bad as anyone at offering the benefit of my superior knowledge, sometimes I have to stop and realise I can actually LEARN something from the question and the various responses.
 
Sometimes I really wish HHO had a like button. :D
I would be using it a lot on these posts. I especially like the comment about a forum being a learning pool.
 
I didn't say much on that thread because I was, to be perfectly frank, dumbfounded. Not only by the scenario the OP gave us but also because of the PMing nonsense. This is a forum. Where people speak openly. The suggestions given may or may not help the OP but they may help someone else who may find themselves in a similar situation. That has to have been one of the most irritating threads I've read on this forum in a long time.
 
Its the folk that give half the picture then get uppity about the responses that annoy me.

I will give what i think based on what I read. If what im reading is not the whole story or even truth and I get nipped at for it hell mend you IMO as Im not going to take it.

People being downright nasty well there are a few repeat offenders on here, i tend to be blunt but Im like that in RL as people on here who know me can verify, I dont beat around the bush epspecially if you have decided im to be your next pop shot ;)

For those who cannot express themselves but start a thread that goes sideways I will sympathise as I know that some people just cannot find the right words to describe something or it comes out all wrong, been there and done it. Sometimes younger poster fall prey to this a bit or novice people. But I dont think being young or naive allows you to get away with murder.

We are all here to learn something and I have to say I would rather come here and hit the search button than go on google :)
 
I tend to take most things with a pinch of salt - there is a huge amount of knowledge on this board, but it doesn't mean it will always be right for you or the OP. That's for the poster to judge - after all, they are usually the only people that know the horse involved. I personally just thank everyone for their time & effort & decide what is useful & what is not - perhaps mull it over with a trusted friend and my instructor.

I do think though, there is a fine line between someone saying 'I'm just being honest' & in fact, someone being rude. I've come across it in real life (I'm not saying anyone in here is like this) but you can be both truthful & polite. Being 'truthful' is no replacement for lack of manners in my humble opinion.

There's such a huge spectrum of people involved in horses & this board - I can't think of any other social group of people I know, with such a mix of people (as let's face it, most people we are friends with is because we have X, Y & Z in common). At my yard alone, there are people from all walks of life - some I have more in common with than others, plus put into the mix different riding styles, different training methods, different personalities, different social backgrounds, different aims ... No wonder there are so many 'miscommunications' among people. Again, I find it helps to just smile & try to see if I can see it from their point of view rather than labeling it 'wrong' - after all, it may be useful, it may not.

Again, I find a little bit of common sense helps when posting - for example: I do Parelli/Natural Horsemanship. I know better than to post on here asking for advice on the finer points on Parelli or 'which carrot stick I should go for' - there's such a cross section of people, it's a hot subject, lots of people have an opinion on it = recipe for disaster. If I've had a great ride - I might say so, but I won't perhaps go into the ins & outs of it. Also, I try not to 'shove it down people's throats' in every thread, there's nothing worse than a NH person, that tries to relate it to absolutely everyone. If someone outright asks me about it - I'll respond, but otherwise - there's no need to go over old ground in every post. But the same could be said for any example, if someone has a strong opinion on something :)

I'm also forever grateful for the fact, my Mother taught me 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything'.

I genuinely like this forum though, it's great & I've learnt a lot :D x
 
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Its so difficult though - I saw a video the other week and my immediate thought was - its lame - the more i watched the more i noticed its very uneven pace - i walked away - i have no idea if anyone else mentioned it or not - but to be honest I did not want to get involved - if i had posted it was lame i stood the chance of being pounced on for being mean or the op pounced on - and it was just not worth it
 
JillA said:
a forum is a pool of experience, and/or opinions. Opinions are fine if they are intended to help, but less so if they are more intended to display superior knowledge.
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^^^^^Agree with this.

However, sometimes posters are so blinded by the perceived difficulties in their own circumstances that they can get taken by surprise by unexpected, but well meant, advice from others, and take unwarranted umbrage.

I see no problem in airing an alternative point of view which may help a poster, even if it was not directly asked for. I have learnt a lot from this forum in following threads which have gone off on a tangent. A certain amount of tact is welcome though, I detest the smart@rse comments that some posters think are 'clever'.
 
I learn so much from various fora but I also have quite strong opinions on what I will use of the advice given. Sometimes I cringe at what to me seems stupid and dangerous advice being given but that is only my opinion the person gleaning knowledge from their questions answers may think it is the best advice they have heard. So really these fora give a huge range of information and it is up to the questioner to sift through and find what they think is best for their individual horse.
An example of my very strongly held view is the quality must always come above quantity of life regardless of the humans sentimental connection with the animal. I know many others believe in life at all cost that is their view not mine so not a piece of advice I would follow
I learn all the time old and new things that I try to make my ponies have a great life I also take as read that if I ask about a behaviour and problem that people will know my animals get the best of everything, so saddle fit, backs, feet and teeth are not an issue that the question I am asking is because these things havent worked
 
Spring Feather said:
I didn't say much on that thread because I was, to be perfectly frank, dumbfounded. Not only by the scenario the OP gave us but also because of the PMing nonsense. This is a forum. Where people speak openly. The suggestions given may or may not help the OP but they may help someone else who may find themselves in a similar situation. That has to have been one of the most irritating threads I've read on this forum in a long time.
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This post is not in relation to one single thread but many
 
MerrySherryRider said:
Knowing the difference between fact, fiction and opinion would be a good start for some people.
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I agree with this. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion, but sometimes imo (haha) the way they come across can appear aggressive or rude. There is at least one thread at the moment where I feel the OP has been, well I honestly feel, got at tbh. Some of the responses have been nothing to do with the original question even though the OP has tried to get it back on track and has been pleasant in her responses. I do understand that some subjects are very emotive but I don't like it when it degenerates in what seems like a personal attack because one person's opinion is different to the others, not least that it was off topic.
 
Gingerwitch said:
Its so difficult though - I saw a video the other week and my immediate thought was - its lame - the more i watched the more i noticed its very uneven pace - i walked away - i have no idea if anyone else mentioned it or not - but to be honest I did not want to get involved - if i had posted it was lame i stood the chance of being pounced on for being mean or the op pounced on - and it was just not worth it
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you see if I had put that video up I would want an honest opinion, that would be why it was here but I have done the same as you and not posted when I have seen a lame horse on here
 
If you don’t want the answer, dont ask the question - this was what I was always taught.
I personally LIKE the fact that this forum is mainly honest, even blunt on occasions. Much prefer that to any sugar còated crap:D
 
Forums like HHO are merely reflections of the "real world". Different people, different opinions, different ways of expressing them, i.e. nice -v- nasty.

Some people express themselves forcibly, others not. Just like real life.

Unfortunately the printed word is always going to be difficult; where you cannot see the other person, or even hear them like a phone conversation, and therefore there is an anonymity attached to the whole thing; whereas in a real-life situation like a good old yard/tackroom debate you'd have a good old-fashioned argument, then sit down and have a cuppa and everyone would be OK with everyone again. Not so on here: its a whole different ballgame.

Horsey people like us, DO sometimes have strong opinions, and aren't afraid to express those. Its all part of being involved with horses I guess.............
 
SatansLittleHelper said:
If you don’t want the answer, dont ask the question - this was what I was always taught.
I personally LIKE the fact that this forum is mainly honest, even blunt on occasions. Much prefer that to any sugar còated crap:D
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I agree with this.

I have many years experience of horses and many experienced RL people to call on, so rarely post asking questions but have learned all sorts from the responses to other people's questions and have had support when needed.
So, yes OP, if someone asks a question on here they need to be prepared for every shade of opinion, some excellent advice and some utter nonsense, which they will have to sort through for themselves. But every poster on the thread will have taken time to post, so IMO should be thanked for their effort.
There is one thread recently where I was VERY tempted to post something which I knew the OP would not like, although I did think it was very relevant, so I didn't post but I'm another who dislikes sugar-coating.
 
Pearlsacarolsinger said:
I agree with this.

I have many years experience of horses and many experienced RL people to call on, so rarely post asking questions but have learned all sorts from the responses to other people's questions and have had support when needed.
So, yes OP, if someone asks a question on here they need to be prepared for every shade of opinion, some excellent advice and some utter nonsense, which they will have to sort through for themselves. But every poster on the thread will have taken time to post, so IMO should be thanked for their effort.
There is one thread recently where I was VERY tempted to post something which I knew the OP would not like, although I did think it was very relevant, so I didn't post but I'm another who dislikes sugar-coating.
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I don't think there is anything wrong at all with posting something that you don't think the other person will not like to hear, but I do believe there are ways to do it which doesn't involve either rudeness or sugar-coating. But, as someone already mentioned it's the written word after all and it can be taken wrongly, it's happened to me and luckily I realised and apologised.
 
If I post a question on this forum (or any forum), I expect that a certain percentage of answers will reiterate things I already know or have tried, a certain percentage will offer suggestions that I think are ridiculous or totally impractical, and a certain percentage will be helpful and offer insights and experiences that I haven't had. Instead of getting into rows over answers that fall into the "ridiculous" or "I know that because I am not an idiot" category, I just ignore them and take on board what I think will be helpful.
 
MerrySherryRider said:
Knowing the difference between fact, fiction and opinion would be a good start for some people.
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Liking your options, but you forgot the 'fantasy' one! :biggrin3:

DragonSlayBells said:
I find this forum seems to have the most 'sensible' opinions and answers! Don't do other forums now because quite frankly they drove me nuts....!
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Same, the others are also either very quiet or far too concerned with posting pictures of their horse in fully matching everything.
 
"Opinions are like @rseholes: everybody has one" and "I have a thousand opinions, all of them firm" are two of my favourite sayings (via my lovely granny, who also told me "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all"). And "if you can't stand the heat get outta the kitchen" also springs to mind. It's a forum; that's what they're like, apparently.
 
twiggy2 said:
you see if I had put that video up I would want an honest opinion, that would be why it was here but I have done the same as you and not posted when I have seen a lame horse on here
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Even if it was a "look at me how well we did in our competition" post ?? - which is why i refrained from posting - your pony is lame.
 
Like most other people I mostly enjoy the varied answers you get on this forum.

I must admit to getting highly irritated by a recent thread asking for facts that are freely available online had the OP been bothered to go and look. Op then got annoyed when people offered opinions based on experience. To be honest if you don't want opinion, don't ask a question on a forum! ;)
 
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