surely a forum is a place for everyone to give an opinion?

ladyt25 said:
I find that hard to believe. Surely there would have to have been a reason behind this thread subject.
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the reason is I am just fed up with people posting a thread then people replying and getting shot down in flames-it seems to happen a lot, people get accused of bullying when they are giving their opinion or recounting their experiences in similar situations.
 
twiggy2 said:
the reason is I am just fed up with people posting a thread then people replying and getting shot down in flames-it seems to happen a lot, people get accused of bullying when they are giving their opinion or recounting their experiences in similar situations.
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Don't worry about it! This forum goes around in circles depending on whether it's a full moon and we women have synced our hormones or not. Sometimes school holidays stirs up interesting threads... Lol! It is what it is and people come and go. Each member will have a heated debate about something, get cross at something or fall out. I have done many a time and I've stayed friendly with most people. Just remember we are just people behind all of this and we all come on here to share, have a banter and learn a bit. Me, I try to go with the flow. Seems best and if I run into trouble, apologise and be humble... Eventually. If it gets too much, take a well deserved HHO holiday! Works wonders :D
 
Hmmmm, yeah but giving opinions inspired by the OP but irrelevant to the question asked can be considered bad manners. For example, Q: "Do you like my horse's new saddle cloth?" A: "That horse looks lame"… A: "That's a funny looking horse"…. A: "That bint can't ride"….. A: "That rider's too fat for that horse"……

Cheeky, but entertaining lol.
 
I agree with the OP. An opinion is something everyone has and is entitled to and a forum is just the place to air that :)

However, I think over the years social media sites have actually become pretty dangerous and more than just a place to air an opinion!

Many people are very naive about forums and post asking questions, forgetting that replies are coming from a real life cross section of society/experience and not an 'omnipotent equine oracle’ :rolleyes:. I think some people could do with remembering the people replying could well be the same clueless knowitall idiot on your yard (and dont we all know at least one!) :p who you would never listen to in a month of Sundays! However, the fact that they have been told something on HHO, means it must be true! An expert told me ! I seem to remember there was an article in HHO about concerns over people using forums like a direct line to their vet / instructor / trainer.

Disclaimer ;) Thats not to say there aren’t many extremely knowledgable and experienced posters, Ive certainly learned from, but then I have a grasp on reaility and it seems many that appear on here do not :eek:
 
Flame_ said:
Hmmmm, yeah but giving opinions inspired by the OP but irrelevant to the question asked can be considered bad manners. For example, Q: "Do you like my horse's new saddle cloth?" A: "That horse looks lame"… A: "That's a funny looking horse"…. A: "That bint can't ride"….. A: "That rider's too fat for that horse"……

Cheeky, but entertaining lol.
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Now I must be learning at long last after a few Gingerwitchgates ! lol.... obviously lame horse..... OP is wanting praise for a dressage test.... post or not ??? - nope step away from the keyboard and post on something else
 
NeverSeenSanta said:
I agree with the OP. An opinion is something everyone has and is entitled to and a forum is just the place to air that :)

However, I think over the years social media sites have actually become pretty dangerous and more than just a place to air an opinion!

Many people are very naive about forums and post asking questions, forgetting that replies are coming from a real life cross section of society/experience and not an 'omnipotent equine oracle’ :rolleyes:. I think some people could do with remembering the people replying could well be the same clueless knowitall idiot on your yard (and dont we all know at least one!) :p who you would never listen to in a month of Sundays! However, the fact that they have been told something on HHO, means it must be true! An expert told me ! I seem to remember there was an article in HHO about concerns over people using forums like a direct line to their vet / instructor / trainer.

Disclaimer ;) Thats not to say there aren’t many extremely knowledgable and experienced posters, Ive certainly learned from, but then I have a grasp on reaility and it seems many that appear on here do not :eek:
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But at least the clueless knowitall idiot on your yard - can be vouched for - I frequently wonder how many of the posts are really factual, how many are made up, how many are half true ?
 
I think people care too much about the opinions of total strangers. No one HAS to read or comment on here. If you don't like it then don't log on, don't read the threads, go get a life! That would be my answer. :)

Hmm, maybe I am in a bad mood tonight!
 
Flame_ said:
Hmmmm, yeah but giving opinions inspired by the OP but irrelevant to the question asked can be considered bad manners. For example, Q: "Do you like my horse's new saddle cloth?" A: "That horse looks lame"… A: "That's a funny looking horse"…. A: "That bint can't ride"….. A: "That rider's too fat for that horse"……

Cheeky, but entertaining lol.
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But its all the people posting that unrelated stuff which increases learning. Without it you'd have some people thinking that the 20 stone rider on the 13hh pony with 5 legs 2 heads and no tail is perfectly ok and normal, because if it wasn't surely someone on a busy forum like this would have commented! :biggrin3:
 
I think people absolutely should give their honest opinion. It's what a forum is for after all, and there are a lot of people on here who are very established riders and trainers - it's a fantastic source of what is essentially free tuition on all sorts of subjects.

BUT, constructive criticism is the key. Phrase things kindly, even if it is not a kind thing you are saying. Sugar coat it if you have to! It's like they tell trainee teachers, write two positive points for every negative one! If you genuinely want to help and make a difference, be nice, even if you are criticising or pointing out a problem, people are FAR more likely to listen and act on your advice if they feel like you are on their side, and not just being condescending/looking down on them.

I've been a member here since I was 13. (eight years ago!!) I can assure you that it's gotten no harsher, if anything there are more genuinely kind, helpful people on now than ever!
 
The only recent thing that I thought was really cruel was someone posted a picture of their tattoo, and someone else said it was rubbish. Definitely unnecessary! Perhaps if they'd posted an idea or design for an intended tattoo critique was maybe okay, but not once they'd already got it done! Bit late to do anything about it :p
 
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Well said about the constructive (and not cruel) criticism Pigeon. Do we all remember reinforcement training? Works much better than destructive criticism if you are looking to change behaviour and attitudes.
I think what I find really annoying is the clubbing together.
If someone posts saying "that horse isn't sound" despite not being asked for the opinion, that isn't a problem. What is, is when half a dozen other people also say "he is lame" " he is going short" etc etc etc. It has already been said once, why does it need to be said several more times? To keep repeating it from a slightly different angle smacks of playground bullying to me and understandably makes the original poster really cross. Happened to me on another forum - I staged an amusing pic for the camera, someone pointed out a possible hazard, I replied saying it was staged and I did know - but at least 6 more people had to tell me I was risking life and limb of the horse in the picture. I felt really victimised.
 
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JillA said:
I think what I find really annoying is the clubbing together.
If someone posts saying "that horse isn't sound" despite not being asked for the opinion, that isn't a problem. What is, is when half a dozen other people also say "he is lame" " he is going short" etc etc etc. It has already been said once, why does it need to be said several more times? To keep repeating it from a slightly different angle smacks of playground bullying to me and understandably makes the original poster really cross. H
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If something should not be said more than once as it then becomes clubbing together surely "Oh that's lovely" or "fab result" and the like should only be said once. There would be an awful lot of threads with only one answer (and probably a lot more with two - the positive and the negative)!
 
JillA said:
I think what I find really annoying is the clubbing together.
If someone posts saying "that horse isn't sound" despite not being asked for the opinion, that isn't a problem. What is, is when half a dozen other people also say "he is lame" " he is going short" etc etc etc. It has already been said once, why does it need to be said several more times? To keep repeating it from a slightly different angle smacks of playground bullying to me and understandably makes the original poster really cross.
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I agree that some threads can deteriorate into a witch hunt. However, some posters just read the OP and then jump in with their thoughts without reading many, or any, of the replies. It can mean that the same ground is covered again and again, which gets rather tedious, but it isn't really a case of people clubbing together.

On the other hand, posters may be saying the same thing, eg 'that horse is lame', but with different opinions on how lame the horse is, or even on which leg(s). That can be useful and educational for the OP, and also for followers of the thread.
 
Pigeon said:
I've been a member here since I was 13. (eight years ago!!) I can assure you that it's gotten no harsher, if anything there are more genuinely kind, helpful people on now than ever!
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You've got me curious, what was your old username? :)
 
JillA said:
Well said about the constructive (and not cruel) criticism Pigeon. Do we all remember reinforcement training? Works much better than destructive criticism if you are looking to change behaviour and attitudes.
I think what I find really annoying is the clubbing together.
If someone posts saying "that horse isn't sound" despite not being asked for the opinion, that isn't a problem. What is, is when half a dozen other people also say "he is lame" " he is going short" etc etc etc. It has already been said once, why does it need to be said several more times? To keep repeating it from a slightly different angle smacks of playground bullying to me and understandably makes the original poster really cross. Happened to me on another forum - I staged an amusing pic for the camera, someone pointed out a possible hazard, I replied saying it was staged and I did know - but at least 6 more people had to tell me I was risking life and limb of the horse in the picture. I felt really victimised.
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I agree that sometimes the clubbing together makes very uncomfortable reading. However, in the example you give, I think that it is sometimes necessary and useful. If just one person says a horse is lame, then it could be too easy for the OP to discount their view as rubbish and therefore a horse that is obviously in pain may not get treated. But if many people agree tht a horse is lame then the OP is more likely to take notice and get a vet to the horse.
 
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