Survival guide to the classifieds horse sale adverts

Has hunted- But never again! or is atleast 50 years old
Snaffle mouthed - It doesnt really matter what you put in its mouth it still wont stop
including tack- Weve got a broken treed saddle and the remains of 5 bridles to get rid of
 
GOOD TO BOX, CLIP ETC... just don't come back to us when you can't shoe, catch or take him in traffic

QUIRKY... so don't expect a refund when you realise he's a lunatic.
 
LOW MILEAGE-we daren't ride him
LOVES HUNTING-no brakes
LOVES JUMPING-no brakes
DOESN'T LIKE SCHOOLING-no brakes
GOOD STABLES MANNERS-pig everywhere else
LOVES PEOPLE-but can't eat a whole one
RIDDEN BY A TWELVE YEAR OLD-we're too scared
HASN'T REALISED HIS POTENTIAL-we're too scared
SHOULD GO FAR WITH EXPERIENCED RIDER-probably about three counties
 
templewood said:
SHOULD GO FAR WITH EXPERIENCED RIDER-probably about three counties
Click to expand...

Kokopelli said:
Nice uphill paces- Its the only way to stop it, we daren't go down the hill
Click to expand...

pmsl!


GOOD TO LUNGE = it's a good idea to lunge out of the way when the b***er starts bucking and bolting with you attached by a very long rope
 
TBx = actually we've no idea how its bred but it sort of looks like a thoroughbred so that'll do
IDx = actually we've no idea how its bred but we suspect a shire so we'll put it down as irish draught and hope no one notices it has feet like dustbin lids.
Riding club type = it'll do a bit of everything badly
Ready to bring on = We've tried but frankly after the bolting, ending up on a car bonnet, up a tree and several mouthfulls of arena dust we've given up so you can try!
 
IDEAL FIRST HORSE - only some poor, innocent lamb on their first shopping trip would be daft enough to have it...:D
 
Has a bold jump (often sideways)
Free to good him (it's completely buggered)
Loads of sheets to prove history (ok, they're incident sheets, but thats by the by)
Has arthritis but doesn't affect him (until the bute wears off
Great in field alone (to be honest, he's best being alone)
Only for sale as child has lost interest (Got bored of spending more time on the floor than on the horse)
 
There was actually an advert in a horse magazine years ago, and it's always stuck with me. It went on about fantastic sj, well mannered, great in traffic... and then said (in capitals) THIS HORSE MUST NEVER, EVER, GO CROSS COUNTRY UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH

I wanted to ring up and ask what it had done previously!
 
Oh please I just think if its says it think the opposite to be honest

Genuine reason for sale..........9/10 are not they are the word I cant mention!
Ill health forces sale/no rider....cos its mad and they dont want to or fell off & got hurt
Will go far... potential...Because they havent achieved or it cant do it & it hasnt done it yet has it....How can anyone claim it will do dressage/top prospect etc etc
no joy riders.......so how are you meant to try it out.....as if I am so honoured to visit as they are such seriously concerned for their horse NOT.
5 * home ...and when u get there they are 1* and are just after £££££
Never strong or silly....yes it is.
Ridden by a 3 year old or granny who cant ride...and make you feel you are not a proper rider if you find something wrong with it(I have had that too the friendly attitude drops off like a switch...er time to leave).

The classic is I tell them what I am looking for and it becomes exactly that (like an echo in the room)!

Looked at one this week £2.6k saw it today reduced by about £800 overnight! It sounded a dream but was not! Big porkers.
I have just gone to someone who is one of those I am not allowed to mention as I have decided the cost of diesel my time etc I could add another £300 to spend on a horse and let someone else do the looking for me....am in no rush fortunately! Good reputation etc etc

Years ago I bought cob from a simple 3 lined advert in H&H in a box no picture etc. He was the 5th horse I looked at. Sorry to say I dont know whats happened to your general hack or is it because not many people hack or are horses not brought on properly by inexperienced people, who think they can do it(I know people who have got money think I can do that & have ruined youngsters and I think this is what I am seeing a lot of)?? I really wonder with what I am seeing...I have met a few viewings that are genuine but the majority are small time (the word I cant mention) and advertise as Private. Which they aint!

But am pleased to see this long list as its just what I have found! We now have a motto ignore the advert! Age Height that will do/local or not? Make your own mind up!
 
HUNTED BY PREVIOUS OWNER = just got off the ferry from ireland and will be crippled by the end of the year.

IDEAL FOR TEENAGER = only someone under 20 will be able to recover from the injuries this horse will cause you
 
I love this thread. Here's a few more...

Dunapintaarabinaloosa (Its a mongrel, probably a mutant mongrel, but it is an interesting colour)

Maxi-cob (Clipped cart horse)

Blemished (Disfigured)

For sale as not able to progress to next level (Breaking down)

Needs re-schooling (screwed up)

Project (screwed up)

Long term project (lost cause)

Will consider any trial or loan with view to buy (we are desperate to get rid and it won't pass a vet)
 
GOOD DOER- Don't show it grass or it'll have lami

BROODMARE PROSPECT- Too lame to ride

HAS HUNTED- But the MFH banned us for wiping out half the hounds

NICELY MARKED- We couldn't think of anything else to put

ROCKING HORSE CANTER- Just goes up and down
 
Here are a few horse sale ones;

Ride & Drive = Broken at 18 months old
8YO = 25YO
8YO = 2YO
Ready to bring on = Never seen a human until yesterday
Halter Broken = Unhandled
Lightly Backed = After heavy sedation
Needs schooling on = Will kill someone
Very good brood mare = Crippled
Retired from competition = Cripped
 
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