Sympathy needed - another I'm still a single horse spinster rant..

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Hoppa

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Sigh.

Still single! Met a nice man, after a few weeks he realised how much time and money I have to spend with the horse and has dissappeared back to the hole he crawled out of!

DIY, means early mornings, late evenings, no money or time to take up any other hobbies..

Can someone tell me a hopeful story? Feeling sorry for myself today. I'm only 29 and theres nothing wrong with me (apart from the marginal insanity needed to own a horse)

Think the admin's should add a "sad and single" forum.. lol

:-(
 
You're not the only one, i'm 28 and still on my own! I have 3 gorgeous ponies who i would never get rid of. Men just seem to turn and run the minute they find out i own them!!!
 
Do you know why they turn and run......?
Because they know they can never compete with your horses :)
Or at least thats what i have been told serveral times!!
:(
 
Def hope, but I wonder if you need to find a horsey man - not sure anyone who isn't involved with horses can actually understand that they are more a lifestyle choice rather than a hobby you can pick up and drop as you choose. (story of hope - single at 29, ran away from the city and found a fab horsey man, returned to my love of horses and got one myself too - now have no life or money outside of horses and my chap, bliss!)
 
I don't live in the city, plenty of lovely equestrian places round here...

Have found that horsey men seem to be few and far between.

Even tried internet dating. Don't recommend it! :-(
 
If you cant be yourself with someone then I really wouldnt bother...either you would change for a bit to keep someone happy and then resent it. Im a bit older than you and to be honest wouldnt ever want another bloke gift wrapped!

Look at it this way, he has done you a favour. You are now free to be yourself and also available should the right man come along. Dont feel down about it....he has done you a favour.
 
LOL..I go up the yard and please myself...no clock-watching..no panicking about a ruddy dinner to cook. Some of the others scuttle off because their other halves will be moaning.

Been there, done that and got the tee-shirt...dont get me wrong, your lucky if youve got a good partner..but no partner is better than one that sucks the life blood from you.
 
glosgirl said:
Def hope, but I wonder if you need to find a horsey man - not sure anyone who isn't involved with horses can actually understand that they are more a lifestyle choice rather than a hobby you can pick up and drop as you choose.
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Agree with this. Met my wife through horses. Never had an argument about cost or time spent with them although plenty about best method to deal with schooling issue :rolleyes:
Only had 2 holidays in the 19 years we've been together. This year we are having a 5 day break, just wife and me as kids now old enough to be left. So how are we spending this together alone time? Taking horses to Holkam beach. :D
 
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finkle said:
LOL..I go up the yard and please myself...no clock-watching..no panicking about a ruddy dinner to cook. Some of the others scuttle off because their other halves will be moaning.

Been there, done that and got the tee-shirt...dont get me wrong, your lucky if youve got a good partner..but no partner is better than one that sucks the life blood from you.
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Hear Hear!
Bring a glass of champagne over for finkle!! lol :p
 
Hoppa said:
DIY, means early mornings, late evenings, no money or time to take up any other hobbies..
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You could meet the man of your dreams while mucking out, you never know! I think it would be a lot easier having a horsey OH, mine just complains that I love the horse more then him. I personally don't see the problem I've always been honest about that :D
 
Hoppa said:
I don't live in the city, plenty of lovely equestrian places round here...

Have found that horsey men seem to be few and far between.

Even tried internet dating. Don't recommend it! :-(
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Ive met some nice people thru www.equestriansingles.com and there is muddy matches
but ive not had much luck finding someone on there , I think it takes a long time to get to know someone so its not easy to make a judgement from a few words and tiny pictures
Im a sorta happy on my own 40 something single male, it would be nice to meet someone responsible, senseable,and fun and not a nutcase or golddigger....
hey keep looking good luck :D
 
awwww as a fellow 29 year old, I can certainly sympathise with you! I find that the problem with some horsey men is that they are a bit few and far between and so the other single horsey girlies get in there first!
I've always been very happy with being single, less hassle, more time for the horse! Having said that I'm 3 months into a relationship with a lovely man! He is currently expressing an interest in learning to ride and recently spent the whole day at our local show helping out putting fences up and even going to help me warm up! (Admittedly I don't know how long this will last, but no complaints so far) In addition to this, on a couple of occasions when mum and dad have been away he's come down to our field and put fences up for me. Just need to find someone locally with a sensible horse so he can come riding with me occasionally, and hopefully (although really not counting on it) continue to develop any interest he might have in horses and riding!!
My advice, such as it is, would be that those who aren't happy for you to have the love and time you need for your horse aren't worth worrying about, and you're better off without them! Be happy with who you are, and comfortable with being single, and then even if you don't find mr. right at least you can be content with life and your horses!! I know for a fact I'd rather be single than stick with any man who doesn't respect the time and effort that I put into my horse, and they do have to accept that they will be 2nd place to my horse!!
big hugs though and I hope it all works out for you! xx
 
I made the choice that if I couldn't find a horesy guy after my first husband, then I would stay single forever!

I was lucky and found the most amazing guy ever, who doesn't whine about time spent, money spent and the fact the horses get fed before us...he has 2 horses of his own!

there is hope, just don't get down by thinking about it too much...!
 
Add me to the late twenties, horsey and perpetually single list! Actually, the older I get the less I care. Am starting to see myself in my fifties, ranting about everything, surrounded by horses and dogs and it doesn't scare me as much as it used to! Maybe we're at the age when everyone is fairly recently married and we just need to wait for the first round of divorces!

To all those with horsey other halfs, I commend you! They are definitely thin on the ground.
 
oh there are actually equestrian dating sites?? Bet that has 100 women to every man :-)
tried the muddy one a while back.

I wonder if horsey women have a bad reputation for being high-maintenance? Although I can see why that might be the perception.. hmmn.. first yard I've been at in years which doesn't have endless petty squabbling and one upping. LOL.

Thanks for your words of kindness everyone. Maybe I will go and trade the nag in for a jet-ski... (As if!)
 
There is definately hope & not just if you find a horsey guy!
My hubby is wonderful - totally non-horsey, never even sat on one until we met, he still doesn't ride but bought me my horse for Christmas a few years ago, then spent his bonus the following year on a new saddle & holiday pay from his old job on a new saddle last year!
We're now expecting our 1st child and he's been an absolute super star - does most of the jobs at the yard as he doesn't want me getting hurt etc and even agreed to start riding horse out if we had no other alternative but luckily for him my Niece has taken over the riding!
He never moans that we get fed last, doesn't moan about the cost despite the fact that except from his gym membership he spends no money one himself! He will occasionally have a little moan if I'm up tehre late after work & he hasn't seen me but I can't begrudge him that really and I do try to make it home at a reasonable hour as I feel it's only fair!
He loves our horse & the little companion pony and since we found out we're having a little girl he's been working out the cost of another pony & transport for her!!!!
I realise I'm very lucky to have him and there aren't many like him out there but he proves there are some!!!!!!!! :D
 
If I were a guy I would be very happy to have a horsey person as my other half. An independent woman that isn't hanging on my shirt tails wondering where I am every five seconds ( I have friends who are like this with men- so attractive-not!), someone who exists independently of me and our relationship may not be so "high maintainance" as some of these limpet types and to me that would be very attractive.

I'm not expressing it well but I know what I mean.
 
Oh dear, poor you :(. I have to admit I would probably be the same though! I keep my horses out 24/7/365 so I have time to do other stuff, I do them once per day and if I'm not riding I can have everything done in an hour and back home. I'm not sure how successful I'd be if I had spent so much time with my horses that I always smelled of poo and never had time to put my makeup on...

The problem with this time of year however is that I can't wear skirts due to the horrific bruises all over my legs coupled with the attractive "farmer's tan" and the bug bites on my ankles..... Just as well my OH is rather horsey ;)
 
It is possible, and they are out there!!
I don't have a horse, but I certainly have the passion (or obsession!) that goes with them!
Meet my OH a few years back, and before we got together, he new all about my love affair with horses. It didn't seem to put him off, and although he doesn't get why I would want to spend £300 a month on just livery alone, he does accept it, and when I had a horse on loan a few years back, he helped me out etc.
He likes getting involved, and if I had my own would "show me how its done" when it comes to riding. He will not muck out, but I would never ask him to do that anyway!!

He always jests with me about my passion, but knows it is a STRONG passion, and has told me on many ocassions, he would never ask me to give it up!!
(I'll remind him of that when I get a big bill!!!)
 
awk there is hope out there!
As a twenty something single horse woman I met my OH on holiday, he wasn't horsey as such but worked as a agricultural engineer and was in young farmers and things so he was fine with my hobby. 3 years on he loves doing all the mechanics on my horse box, will come to comps if I'm struggling for a groom ect. Hes perfectly happy for me to spend loads of time with the horse as it means he can go do his young farmer stuff, watch football, see his mates and I never complain! Its a win win situation.
 
Crackajack said:
Do you know why they turn and run......?
Because they know they can never compete with your horses :)
Or at least thats what i have been told serveral times!!
:(
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Yep would def agree with that... lol but there is enough love to go round... :p
The other coments i get is i've dated horsey girls before and allthey do is compete every weekend... Well i'm def not one of those, only do the odd horse show, but we're all tarred with the same brush...:confused:
 
When I met my 2nd husband, my horse was out on loan due to my 3 daughters being young, working full time and having no money. He told me one of the reasons he and his ex split up was the amount of time and money she spent on her horse! At that time I didn't really see myself ever being able to afford to keep my horse again, so I wasn't really bothered.
However, a year or so later the loan home wanted to return him and I worked out I could just about afford things if the girls stopped riding lessons and rode my horse instead.
I now have 2 horses and spend every spare minute with them. I also have debts that he has no idea about :o. I love my husband to bits, but I'm afraid if I had to make a choice, the horses would win.
And if it came to the crunch and I became single again, I very much doubt that I would ever want to be 'attached' again.........
 
Have faith!

I ended a relationship with my ex because he really resented the time I spent with my horse. I then had 3 wonderful selfish years on my own.

Three years ago I met my now OH, he had never ridden never had dogs and lived a pretty much simplistic life in Holland.

I moved to be with him 4 months after we met (it was cheaper than the phone bills and the plane tickets!) and arrived in Holland with 3 ex rescue Mutts who basically took one look at the beautiful Ikea simplistic house and lovely garden and trashed them.

I really missed my horse who I had loaned out (too far to travel him) and bought a 3.5 year old WB x I now spend even more time with this one than I ever did as he is on DIY Livery.

My wonderful OH who when he met my old horse his reaction was "oh my god they are big buggers" has now of his own free choice, taken lessons in how to handle my beast (in case am ever unable to) has spent a week looking after him when I was dying of flu and comes down with me every evening to help me poo pick (often poo picking whilst I ride).

As for the money aspect his only complaint is I never get to spend any money on myself.

The right man will not be put off because you have a horse the right man will accept it is part of you and part of the reason he loves you.
 
I met my OH, who I discovered had a horse - and I had never even sat on a horse! She was well aware I was not a horsey person too when we met, and very often penned me in a corner, the c*w! I learned to love her though and had lessons and got hooked and she learned to respect me. We lost our mare 6 months ago after a long illness, but she was 26, however, I can safely say I have never cried so much in my entire life, in fact I am welling up now typing this - I really miss her. We now have a new young man, just turned 6 and are really enjoying him. We both take turns to ride/muck out and it really works.
I suppose the moral of the story is, if you really like someone you will stick around whatever the baggage - I did, even though I had never been round horses and it took up a lot of time, it also introduced me to something I may never have had a go at, but I'm no natural and probably never will be but really love riding now. We have been together 8 years by the way. Don't give up! :)
 
yep i will join this club - but currently horseless and 28 but doesnt seem to make much difference and will have another in august.

I think late 20's is a really hard age to meet people there arnt that many late 20 somethings out there - younger and older singles yes

However saying that for the first time in over a year I bit the bullet last night and spent the night with someone and it was bloody ace! not sure where it may go but he has text me today all ready so cant be that bad! eeeek
 
okay so i am way younger than you (16) lol but you just need to get back out there!!! just have a fun fling, plus its just damn good!! the very naughty influence of alcohol should help :P the right guy will come along, they always do but he will just have to accept that you have a horse that will obviously come first!!!
 
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BeckyX said:
okay so i am way younger than you (16) lol but you just need to get back out there!!! just have a fun fling, plus its just damn good!! the very naughty influence of alcohol should help :P the right guy will come along, they always do but he will just have to accept that you have a horse that will obviously come first!!!
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Wise words Becky!
 
I think there has to be an element of compromise when you have a time consuming hobby to make a relationship work.

For 18 months I travelled 1000+ miles per week (lived in Bristol, boyfriend was in Wolverhampton) I kept my horse on DIY livery back in Bristol, stayed in Bristol 3 nights and Wolverhampton 4 nights per week and managed to hold down a very demanding job and keep my horse in work 6 days per week. I had to compromise on alot of things to make it work.

We now live together and I moved my horse up here, I do always ensure I'm mindful of the time I do spend at the stables as I wouldn't like to be stuck at home all weekend or evenings whilst he was off down the pub.

You have to remember there is life outside of horses and the majority of people just won't "get it" :) another good idea is to ensure they have a hobby, that way they have something to do whilst you're at the stables.
 
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