Sympathy needed - another I'm still a single horse spinster rant..

My man's motto is if you can't beat 'em join 'em.
When I met him he'd never been near a horse, and he thought they were smelly things that just poo'ed a lot. Several years later, and I'm looking to buy or loan another horse just for him.

I'm sorry, this is not much help for you, but don't give up hope completely, and it is possible to have your cake and eat it.
 
There is hope. I met mine in 2001 and he's still here. We've had some 'discussions' about the pony but when I 'expained' some things it has been OK. Also he's allergic to them which is more difficult.
He has never had a pet ever, so the horse thing is just plain weird to him but he loves me for who I am and I love him. He does winge occasionally, mainly about my poor timekeeping - I love to talk!!
Best way is to find one who has a time consuming hobby too, not necessarily horses but one that gets him out the house. Then he won't notice that dinner isn't ready etc.
There is a man out there for you, just as there was a horse when you were looking xx
 
"The right man will not be put off because you have a horse the right man will accept it is part of you and part of the reason he loves you."

Absolutely this! My OH wasn't horsey, but he has totally accepted it and now embraced Horse! I moved K to a diy yard near his work so he could bring in/turn out in the morning. He rides every so often and I think really loves him.

I think it helped he has a malamute dog and she needs loads of walking so we've always gone out together.

I too would totally date a 'horsegirl' as my OH referrs us as. I think we are totally less high maintenance than sex and the city wannabes!!
 
I have been really lucky, I me the man of my dreams when I was 19, had 3 kids in the past 10 years and now gone back into horses.

Admittedly I had to choose between horses and a husband. When I was 25 my beloved Welsh Cob had to be PTS. He had been retired at a friends place for several years any how and at the time we had no way of replacing him...no money and no time having our own little ones to care for.

I am now 30, almost 31 and my kids are 11, 5 and 2 years old. 3 weeks ago I bought a 3 year old Gypsy Cob. To back and bring on. A lifetimes ambition.

We are now in the postition to be able to afford the time and money a little more and the kids are able to join in too.

My husband is very supportive despite having zero interest in horses.

I think the point it you cant always have it all!

Sometimes you have to choose...horses (24/7) or husband. I chose husband and kids...and now at 30, I have the rest on my life to enjoy my family and my horses.
 
Im 39, i have a son , and two beautiful horses, have tried men, given them up, who needs them! Men seem to think because i have horses i obviously have money and think they can live off me! i think not!:)
 
Don't despair, there's someone out there for everyone. I am the opposite I swore I would never have another horsey bloke, first one I was with was evil, showed his true colours about 6 months in, was with him for 3 very unhappy years, then non horsey but very understanding guy who I will always be friends with now, he had his football to occupy him and would always go the yard if I asked him. Then I randomly met my OH, who showjumps, through mutual friends and after swearing off horsey men forever I'm now getting married to one. So the point to all that was that you will find the man for you and it won't matter if he's horsey or not because he will love you for you.
 
skint1 said:
If I were a guy I would be very happy to have a horsey person as my other half. An independent woman that isn't hanging on my shirt tails wondering where I am every five seconds ( I have friends who are like this with men- so attractive-not!), someone who exists independently of me and our relationship may not be so "high maintainance" as some of these limpet types and to me that would be very attractive.

I'm not expressing it well but I know what I mean.
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I know exactly what you mean. A few years back I was working in London, and one of my colleagues was a really lovely (and good looking!) guy who had this AWFUL girlfriend. Eventually he proposed to her - and she was so busy banging on about the size of the diamond she didn't bother saying yes - he had to prompt her. Likewise, on Valentine's day they'd made a pact not to get each other anything - then when he didn't she kicked up a huge fuss until he took her to Paris for the weekend.

I never, ever, EVER understand what men see in women like this, but they seem to lap it up - all the girls at school who were like this are now married and settled, whilst the rest of us are wondering where we went wrong.

Oh well. At least we know our horses love us.

By the way, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago. It was very amicable - we just decided we made better friends than partners, but you can add me to that list of single late-20somethings!
 
Thank god for this post! I'm so glad I'm not the only one then! I'm 23, never had a boyfriend, tall, slim, attractive (been a model in the past!) almost normal (apart from a tendancy to listen to awful music (currently disney's greatest hits!) and smell a bit horsey)! I get really annoyed when I see fat ugly people with husbands etc, I wonder whats wrong with me, then realise I have no social life at all outside of the yard and agility/dog/horse shows I attend, so don't really help myself. Used muddy matches once, guy was really ugly in the flesh and I think he was intimidated by me! Think I will have to get a tatoo on my forehead that says "I'm single" cos I wonder half the time the problem is that men don't know your single! I have actually planned out the rest of my life as if I'm going to be single (much to my mum's despair, as I'm an only child!) as I prefer being alone with just my animals, and I regularly holiday alone, so I think I'll be fine! (unless of course I bump into Prince William any time soon, young rich horsey man, perfect!)
 
SSilvester said:
Thank god for this post! I'm so glad I'm not the only one then! I'm 23, never had a boyfriend, tall, slim, attractive (been a model in the past!) almost normal (apart from a tendancy to listen to awful music (currently disney's greatest hits!) and smell a bit horsey)! I get really annoyed when I see fat ugly people with husbands etc,
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Oh that's an absolutely appalling comment to make :eek: ...it might surprise you to learn that people/women of all shapes, sizes, appearances are more than entitled to have a partner/husband as looks and size are immaterial as it might also surprise you to learn that being a nice person and personality comes into it and counts for a lot when you meet someone and they decide they want to be with you.
 
I'll join this one!

But speaking from experience - you're better off alone than in an unhappy relationship.

I think a lot of men are very intimidated by strong women who lead their own lives - they don't quite know how to deal with it.
 
SSilvester said:
almost normal (apart from a tendancy to listen to awful music (currently disney's greatest hits!) and smell a bit horsey)!
I wonder whats wrong with me, then realise I have no social life at all outside of the yard and agility/dog/horse shows I attend, so don't really help myself.
I have actually planned out the rest of my life as if I'm going to be single (much to my mum's despair, as I'm an only child!) as I prefer being alone with just my animals, and I regularly holiday alone, so I think I'll be fine! (unless of course I bump into Prince William any time soon, young rich horsey man, perfect!)
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Ditto this!! Think you've just described a lot of people here lol.

With me it's more the case of relying on myself...knowing the horses will always be there like they have done my whole life. I'm just used to it and they're my priority and always have been. Done the whole 'really liking' thing and CBA to go there in a hurry again! And don't want to if I'm perfectly honest!


Live life and enjoy it how you want to is what I say :)
 
Im still newly single and loving it I can spend all day with my girls and not worry about time, and how I might smell or look (sweaty hat hair) when I come home.

However if anyone knows a nice guy not necessary horsey but some who wont go ergh look at that mud and the state of your car please send him my way hehe. And if he comes with a muddy lab thats fine.
 
Hoppa said:
Sigh.

Still single! Met a nice man, after a few weeks he realised how much time and money I have to spend with the horse and has dissappeared back to the hole he crawled out of!

DIY, means early mornings, late evenings, no money or time to take up any other hobbies..

Can someone tell me a hopeful story? Feeling sorry for myself today. I'm only 29 and theres nothing wrong with me (apart from the marginal insanity needed to own a horse)

Think the admin's should add a "sad and single" forum.. lol

:-(
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Sure, its Ok, but you just have to be a little bit gentle with the 'new man' while you are breaking them in.
 
MochaDun said:
Oh that's an absolutely appalling comment to make :eek: ...it might surprise you to learn that people/women of all shapes, sizes, appearances are more than entitled to have a partner/husband as looks and size are immaterial as it might also surprise you to learn that being a nice person and personality comes into it and counts for a lot when you meet someone and they decide they want to be with you.
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While that is undoubtedly true... what I think SSylvester may have been driving at is that it's almost assumed that attractive people get an easier ride out of the whole dating thing, and we don't.

I'm not unnattractive (apparently), and get really fed up with friends who say to me "it's alright for you - look at you! You'll have no trouble!" If only that were the case. :(
 
Fair comment KK. I do think one of the problems though with people not meeting partners easily these days is more to do with the massive changes in society across the last few decades and also today's obsession with looks which makes people rule out prospective partners too quickly as an initial assessment based on what's on the surface rather than what's underneath. I think young women today are put under enormous pressure by their peer group which doesn't help by assuming something is wrong with you if you are attractive but haven't got a partner, it might just be you haven't found the perfect partner yet but it's worth taking your time in life to find the right one and not worry about the time being on your own - that's a useful part of learning about life and yourself too :)
 
I agee MD.

We live in such a disposable society. The moment you don't fit the 'normal' girlfriend routine men seem to get freaked out. I also find that as someone who is independent and secure with a good job men don't seem to think they will be needed?! strange one but I've had it quite a few times now.
I also like to have a drama free life and agree with the poster who said men seem to like high maintenance women.

So fed up with people saying 'I can't belive your single. Whats wrong with you?' I just tell them I really bad in bed. Usally shuts them up :D:D
 
My husband was jealous of my horses, to the point it caused major problems, and the amount of times I had to say to him well I can't just skip feeding them today and he still didn't get it.
He liked horses though, just not the time I was away to them all the time, so I bought him a horse and told him to quit his moaning lol.

We still got divorced - but I got his horse haha

I've 4 horses so think there is little hope for me, but I prefer the company of my horses to humans, so am quite happy x
 
A friend summed it up,who had a messy divorce and was left with two young kids to bring up and had to give the OH a large settlement.. he said ...Just remember the're not like us humans!!!!!!!!!
 
I'm 46 and have been single for over two years. Before that I had an 10 month relationship and before that was single again for ages! Don't worry about it - I love being able to do what I want, when I want. And to be honest I've drifted off to sleep at the end of the day more times wishing I was single than wishing I was with someone :-)

Just enjoy the free time you have, you never know what (or who) might be waiting just be round the corner!
 
Life is too short to be miserable, you never know whats round the corner.

I just know Im not relationship material, been independent all my life. I met some great blokes when I was younger but was stupid enough at the time not to realise it. When I was ready to settle, all I met was idiots. Dont miss having a man in my life, the last one I had for ten years and he was awful with a very nasty temper.
Its not always finding a bloke thats the problem, its getting rid of one!

Dont want to be in this position again so I am not even going to put myself there. I hear my neighbours rowing and screaming at each other and just thank god that that is not me.

Friendship first, then hopefully the rest will follow. Forget looks...looks fade.
 
NO No No ,Definately not friendship first. This is the big trap. "why cant we just stay friends" or "I dont want to risk loosing you as a friend". Its very hard to escalate a relationship that starts as friends. Flirt ,F+++,then friendship.
 
It's not just horsey girls that suffer! My sister isn't horsey and she has been single for 3 years. She was moaning at the weekend and saying how she has now just giving up and wants to be a spinster with her dog. She is 26, tall and beautiful and with a great personality but she just cannot find someone!
My sisters friend is attractive, 25, has a good job, her own house and a flash car. She is also single she was saying to my sis 'i'm financially independant, Im pretty and nice. I'm the perfect girlfriend so where is my boyfriend??'
I think there are so many idiots out there. It's hard to find someone you like who actually likes you back!
I had given up when I met my man. I didn't even really like him at first. He's 15 years older than me (he's in the newly divorced crew) and I thought him old and ugly. However he is the most amazing person and once I realised that I never looked back. I think going out with a horse girl was a massive shock and he does sometimes get upset about the amount of time I spend at the yard but he knows I love my horse so he loves hi
too lol! If u find the right person they will make the sacrifice to keep you happy :)
 
My other half isn't horsey but he has other hobbies and I think this is important. He goes mountain biking and has a motor bike. I never moan at him going out and he doesn't moan about how long I'm 'playing ponies'. He knows how important my horse is to me as well. When my mare had colic he stayed up the yard all night with her and drove me to the hospital to see her every weekend. He was really upset when we lost her and when I had a phone call to say my new pony had hurt himself I called him in a panic to say I was leaving work and he left work himself and beat me there. He still moans as it was a locked stifle so he says he came out of work for a pony with cramp but he would do ut again! We wouldn't want to be in each others pockets all the time. I have had boyfriends that are constantly calling asking where I am and I wouldn't want to bother with all that again but I wouldn't really want a horsey bloke as I like my time with my horse and my friends.
 
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