Taken advantage of...

Penks said:
Whilst I don't think that anyone should ever be taken advantage of and that some of these stories people have acted shamelessly, I do think that sometimes horsey people forget how lucky we all are to get the chance to be around horses.

I was away from horses/riding for about 10 years for several reasons and missed horses terribly. Several people I knew either owned horses or had them on loan and I would sometimes ask to come and see them, not to ride them, just to stroke them even. And the replies were often quite stand offish. I appreciate that people work very hard for to be able to have their own horses and am not saying anyone has to do anything they are not comfortable with, but just to bear in mind that for the majority of people being up close with a horse is a rare and exciting occasion and can make a childs (and an adults!) day :)
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I always say yes to people wanting to come to stroke, brush or just visit my horses, nobody has taken advantage yet.
BUT requests to ride are turned down, it really annoys me, if they ask to ride I don't even offer a visit.
I'm not running a free riding school, if people want to ride they can put their hand in their pocket like I do, can you imagine the response if I asked to drive their car, watch their TV etc?
 
Penks said:
Whilst I don't think that anyone should ever be taken advantage of and that some of these stories people have acted shamelessly, I do think that sometimes horsey people forget how lucky we all are to get the chance to be around horses.

I was away from horses/riding for about 10 years for several reasons and missed horses terribly. Several people I knew either owned horses or had them on loan and I would sometimes ask to come and see them, not to ride them, just to stroke them even. And the replies were often quite stand offish. I appreciate that people work very hard for to be able to have their own horses and am not saying anyone has to do anything they are not comfortable with, but just to bear in mind that for the majority of people being up close with a horse is a rare and exciting occasion and can make a childs (and an adults!) day :)
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I totally agree, and don't mind at all people bringing their kids over for a pat/sit on. Even in the story I posted above I offered to lend our other pony for a hack to the loaner's friend. Its when people really take the mick that it gets annoying.
 
An old friend of mine got in touch (like 20 yrs ago) to tell me she was having lessons at a riding school near me. Could I teach her on my boy? Er, no, she is far too heavy and at the grand old age of 21 yrs would panic at a novice pulling him about, as a YO agreed with me who knows him well, (he is a sensitive chap). No thought to the size of the horse or insurance if it went wrong or anything else! Free lessons here we come!
 
A couple of years ago now we loaned out our 12.2hh pony to a seemingly nice family. Then they started leaving the little girl there all day (aged 9) all by herself with 4 horses (at a private yard). We only realised when we came home one day and she was sat outside in the dark! When we explained that we didn't feel comfortable with her being left by herself in case there was an accident they left and never came again.

Had another lady with a little boy decide to loan the 12.2,she paid for the month and after the first ride sent me a one sentence text saying that although they really liked pony they wouldn't be coming any more...
 
Jessi&Magic said:
I advertised my 5 year old 14.2 mare for share the other day and have since had 3 different replys saying 'do you do kiddies rides?' I didnt realise i had put 'welcomes all novices, any age or ability, i have time to teach you and your brood how to ride'
Oh wait, no i didnt, i put 'for share to experienced loaners or horse owners only'
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I can go one better with that :D

I had my very sensitive (frankly loopy) cob advertised for FULL loan, experienced adult only rider yada yada when I got a call out of the blue from a bloke who insisted he wanted to 'loan' him for a day as the steed for his would be wife to arrive at church on her wedding day! :eek: Once I'd checked under all the bushes and behind the trees for the hidden cameras (I was absolutely convinced that someone at the yard/ my OH was winding me up) I tried to explain what A) a horse for loan meant ie a long term commitment not a one off event and B) that if his fiancee borrowed mine that she would more than likely end up in A&E rather than at the altar with very little success...

He was absolutely adamant that the horse was ideal because he matched their colour scheme - who in God's name has GINGER as their wedding colours??? - and that all the professional wedding carriage companies were too expensive but he's give me £50 hire for the day and supply the ribbons that I would need to dress him in plus transport and handle on the day.

Funnily enough, I had no problem refusing :D
 
Penks said:
Whilst I don't think that anyone should ever be taken advantage of and that some of these stories people have acted shamelessly, I do think that sometimes horsey people forget how lucky we all are to get the chance to be around horses.

I was away from horses/riding for about 10 years for several reasons and missed horses terribly. Several people I knew either owned horses or had them on loan and I would sometimes ask to come and see them, not to ride them, just to stroke them even. And the replies were often quite stand offish. I appreciate that people work very hard for to be able to have their own horses and am not saying anyone has to do anything they are not comfortable with, but just to bear in mind that for the majority of people being up close with a horse is a rare and exciting occasion and can make a childs (and an adults!) day :)
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I understand this completely - one of my uni friends was desperate for a horse as a child but due to living in Cardiff and her parents not having enough money she was unable to spend any time around them. She's due to come up sometime in the spring to sit on my girl, who although is only a youngster, is a total plod on a lead rein. I offered for her to come and ride my Big Ears because I know I was always luckier than her to have a pony.

Conversely, I allowed my cousin to come spend time with my girl at the end of last summer. She was recovering from not being very well looked after by the guy who'd been training her and was a bag of bones. I was feeding her up before having a go at riding her. I came home from work one night and my brother was furious because my cousin had come up with her parents, caught the horse, put a saddle on her and taken her for a ride on the lead rein. My brother had tried to stop them because he said she was in no fit state to be ridden but they went ahead without anyone's permission. On top of that, when we briefly (and thankfully unsuccessfully) tried to sell her, my cousin went around telling people she was wild and a head shaker :confused: this being the horse who has brought my confidence back over the last six months?! Maybe I should thank her actually because she put a potential buyer off and I decided to 'buy' her off my dad instead!

Swings and roundabouts!
 
So many of these stories are familiar. I have a saint of a 14.2, who I've always been very generous with, whether its letting a toddler groom & sit on her, to little kids & teens riding her, either at home or local stuff. However, it has to be on my invite. Daughter is the only kid in her class with a pony, in her school I think there is a 10yr old with one, & maybe 2/3 other older ones with shares. And a few in each class perhaps that go to a rs. As such, especially cos I teach myself, I have been treated like a free rs by some. On lots of occasions, since she was at nursery, if she has a friend round, I am happy to take them to play ponies, & let the other child have a ride on mine. However, I've had a number of parents then think it can be a weekly free riding lesson & own a pony day, & I've had parents of kids asking when their child can come to ride. Two of her friends aren't remotely interested, but regularly come to the farm to play in mud & haybarns, another has an occasional ride. I was very suprised a year or so ago when daughter was invited to tea at a girls house she doesn't play with, or indeed like. Daughter asked the other kid why she was invited, & was told her mum had said if mini littlelegs came for tea, then she'd be invited to ours & she could go horseriding. I tend to just say no, & one very persistent rude mum I said yes, can I borrow your holiday home?
 
Littlelegs said:
So many of these stories are familiar. I have a saint of a 14.2, who I've always been very generous with, whether its letting a toddler groom & sit on her, to little kids & teens riding her, either at home or local stuff. However, it has to be on my invite. Daughter is the only kid in her class with a pony, in her school I think there is a 10yr old with one, & maybe 2/3 other older ones with shares. And a few in each class perhaps that go to a rs. As such, especially cos I teach myself, I have been treated like a free rs by some. On lots of occasions, since she was at nursery, if she has a friend round, I am happy to take them to play ponies, & let the other child have a ride on mine. However, I've had a number of parents then think it can be a weekly free riding lesson & own a pony day, & I've had parents of kids asking when their child can come to ride. Two of her friends aren't remotely interested, but regularly come to the farm to play in mud & haybarns, another has an occasional ride. I was very suprised a year or so ago when daughter was invited to tea at a girls house she doesn't play with, or indeed like. Daughter asked the other kid why she was invited, & was told her mum had said if mini littlelegs came for tea, then she'd be invited to ours & she could go horseriding. I tend to just say no, & one very persistent rude mum I said yes, can I borrow your holiday home?
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Ooh I've had this. It was amazing but as soon as we got ponies my daughters started getting play invites from people who'd never invited them before.

I have had a few come up to see the ponies (especially the friends they've always done playdates with) but I'm very careful which ones - I need to know they'll be quiet and behave. And I only invite ones who already ride and know how to behave round a pony. I'm on livery and respectful of the others on the yard.

What I tend to do now with the ones I think are taking advantage, is do the return playdate for a time when I can do the horses afterwards or before, so we stay at home. Funnily enough, my kids then don't get asked back to play!!

ETS I recently had an aquaintance in the village asking if he could pay to hire my horse... he used to ride as a child. Luckily mine is on loan so I just said I wasn't allowed to do that under the loan agreement. Phew.
 
I know some kids don't have access to ponies, but at the same time I think that's a good thing. Mums friend is from a council estate. Has loads of kids never worked a day in her life etc, so in theory (ignoring the story in the papers today about the benefits mum with 11 kids keeping a pony) her kids will never have access to ponies. So taking them out for a nice day to fall in love and then them not being able to see them again is almost cruel!

I started riding age 4 and knew I wanted a pony from day one. I never got one, instead I worked by backside off at the local riding school to get the odd hack. Id cycle the 6 mile round trip 4 or 5 times a week in the summer for about 1 hour of riding. I eventually got my own in my early 20's. Children these days are lacking the "earning" of things.

I will get my niece a pony when she is a little older, but she will have to work for it and look after it herself. x
 
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I'm quite lucky that Andy is a nutter, I get asked if they can ride and I say sure but I'll ride him first. They go white in the face hen agree that grooming is just as good. Yep there is a difference between the forward going horse at theriding school and my complete idiot of a horse.
 
I've had people drop all sorts of hints and one girl offered to come and ride them at the weekends to 'help me out' but when I invited her to muck out each morning at 6 so I can ride longer which would actually help me she wasn't so keen!
 
riding back to my field one day (my oh had come for a walk with us) as we approached field there was a bloke with a kid (about 2 years old) on his shoulders rode past said morning n smiled. then heard him say lets go see if the lady will let you have a little ride on her pony!!:eek: id hardly call him a pony hes a 16.3 tb!!! anyway shot into field untacked him faster than ive ever done it before n shot off down the field to get the wheel barrow lmao

few days later this same man was walking towards us as i was just getting on and he said can my little girl ride your pony? said not unless he wanted to be visitng a&e as my boy doesnt like children!! the cheek!! never met him in my life my oh was just laughing at me.

other times when people find out i have a horse i always get the ''oh i do miss riding'' so i always suggest a nice rs nearby :D
 
Lol old nag, I make sure any new friends come at a time we don't need to go up to the farm at first. Daughters friends either have their own locally, or have no involvement at all. One rs near me is crap beyond belief, but also v cheap, the one time daughter brought a child up that goes there I bit holes in my lips. All we heard was 'my instructor said you do pull to stop, my instructor said to kick, my instructor said to do xyz'. I could have coped but she kept giving daughter instructions & saying 'but I am in the advanced class & you don't even go to a rs'. Final straw was her telling my daughter to yank her pony in the mouth for jogging, & telling me I was stupid to shout 'legs' because the pony was going too fast already & legs were to go faster. I kept my mouth shut, daughter told her that her instructor was stupid & rubbish. They've not been friendly since!
 
We once were out hacking and some chap stopped us so his tiny child could stroke the horses. I probably wouldn't bother as working in law i'm concious of blame culture but sister did. Before she knew toddler had been passed up in front of her onto horse we'd backed 3 weeks earlier and was screaming! Also had my neighbour turn up at the private yard I was on bringing child with him. Hinted at riding b1 till I crashed her round the school over some jumps and child went pale. I let child feed 31 year old 15hh softy and she got upset about how big she was. Child was about 10 and not tiny. My horses cost me a lot and i'm a bit precious about them i'll admit but people do take the proverbial.
 
Lol, she's quite happy to stand up for herself. She does realise she's had opportunities a child with a few years at a rs hasn't, so its not a case of her thinking she's just wonderful & must know best, but god help anyone who suggests anything detrimental about her pony!
 
I had the opposite problem. Years ago, there was an old man who lived alone opposite the yard, he took to coming over and he was obviously lonely. Anyway, my mare was brilliant, and he would come and brush her, telling me all about his riding days in the army. I felt awful sorry for him, so told him he could have a sit on her, if he felt confident. So, he turned up with a riding hat that wouldn't have looked out of place in the War and then proceeded to struggle to get on-not because of his age, but because he couldn't work out how to get on. I put that aside, thinking maybe he was very out of practice, until he was on, flicked the reins and said 'huuup', to which my mare just looked at me. I'd put money on that he'd never been on a horse in his life until that point. Awkward.
 
My little brothers half sister has tried to come ride my loan boy, I let her once, but tend to ignore requests now, I wouldn't mind her riding him if she'd b****y listen, but:
a) he's not mine to break
b) issues of ownership aside. I don't want him injured.
c) when I tell you the grounds to wet to canter don't blinking canter.
d) since when does warming up equate to a 20m circle of walk/trot.
e) if he can't canter on that ground why even bother asking about jumping.
f) he's an old gent, I don't want him ragged around as if he where the equivalent of a f1 car.

Had to laugh though of course he won't canter unless you ask him properly.

I don't mind generally people riding him, he's well behaved and a big softy. However dropping hints is cheeky and generally pee's me off. Plus droping hints then expecting to just turn up and ride annoys ne, if you don't mind riding you shouldn't mind mucking out, not just turn up to a well groomed tacked up horse ride and begger off, I'm not a free rs.
 
A very good friend of mine used to ride my old mare. I love my friend but she is a bit posh and lazy :eek: We'd arrange to meet about 5 so she could help with mucking out, grooming, tacking up etc and she would always turn up just as I was finishing tacking up. She would also make a sharp exit after dimounting. I cottoned on pretty quick so started turning up an 5.30 and grooming my mare, leaving the mucking out for friend. The arrangement didnt last long as she really didn't like helping me out. Unfortunately, she is a little too big for my current pony so its not an option to ride him and coming to the yard fir a gossip while she helps me poo pick has yet to be arranged :D
 
I had this all the time with the last horse - he was the easiest thing on the yard so people were always being thrown onto him without anyone bothering to ask me first. A friend came to do a couple of weeks work experience and on the first day I let her have a sit on him on the lunge; the following day I turned up to find him in and tacked up, and her merrily informing me that she was about to ride.

Strangely enough, nobody ever wants to ride the current horses. I would gladly let anyone have a go on the mares, providing they had insurance and full body armour. A few friends have asked if they can have 'a go' on my gelding, then quickly changed their minds after meeting him.
 
One of my best friends who used to ride with me as a teenager but no longer does so, was chatting to me while I was sharing IdiotponyNo1.
Although she knew she was too big and too tall for a 13.3 NF, I invited her down to visit as she misses riding.
Then in the next breath she suggests coming with her partner who could ride on Idiotpony.
Errr. I'm not having a complete beginner on a 9 month broken 5 yr old, who was very, very quick to learn how he could intimidate by popping a small buck or napping to the gate.
He wasn't even mine ffs, just a share pony, I could well imagine how it'd have gone down if she'd come off or hurt the pony!
 
Penks said:
Whilst I don't think that anyone should ever be taken advantage of and that some of these stories people have acted shamelessly, I do think that sometimes horsey people forget how lucky we all are to get the chance to be around horses.
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Actually, for most of us, it's not luck, it's hard work and good management and making particular choices in life - usually to not have foreign, expensive holidays but to have horses instead. Or for some people their parents have made those choices for them. It is quite possible for most of these 'visitors' to make similar choices too.

I am always happy to stop on hacks to let small children (and a few adults) stroke my horses and have a very few favoured friends who I trust to behave themselves who are allowed to ride but I certainly wouldn't allow acquaintences to invite themselves.
 
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Gentlegiant88 - I think she may have had that face! And then several strong words after before banishing me and my friend from the yard forever!

Pearlsasinger - Me too. I am very lucky to get the rides I do and remember being horseless and desperate!

I always encouraged people to come say hello to IdiotPonyNo1 - considered it great bombproofing when we met cyclists, pushchairs and workmen for the first time, he loved people and would stay there all day to be admired.
Not yet had a chance to hack IdiotponyNo2 out yet as only go out during the week but I suspect I'd tell people to stay away as she can nip.
 
Good point pearlsasinger. I'm sure there are horseless kids in daughters school etc who would just love to play ponies even as a one off. But as far as I'm concerned, I don't expect other parents to invite her for expensive day trips, so why should I provide relatively expensive activities for their kids for free? Plus nobody has volunteered to accompany their child to do the jobs at 6.30am, so I don't see why they are entitled to the fun stuff. If my child is willing to do her pony herself before school, then she can be as selfish as she likes about sharing at wkends or long summer evenings.
 
Being a horsey person, I'm embarrassed at how unfriendly horsey people can be.

These people may just want their child to experience stroking a pony. That was their original intention. I am often amazed how how unfriendly riding schools are to paying customers and in fact its only in recent years they have encouraged people to walk round and see the horses before their lesson/hack.

The only people I see being rude here are yourself and the 18 year old who outright asked to ride your horse.
 
Charley657 said:
Being a horsey person, I'm embarrassed at how unfriendly horsey people can be.

These people may just want their child to experience stroking a pony. That was their original intention. I am often amazed how how unfriendly riding schools are to paying customers and in fact its only in recent years they have encouraged people to walk round and see the horses before their lesson/hack.

The only people I see being rude here are yourself and the 18 year old who outright asked to ride your horse.
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Why am I being rude? I am more than happy for people to come and see my pony. What I don't like is making arrangements for 1 child and 3 turning up. It is a private yard and not mine to take 5 strangers to while borrowing the YO's pony.

My friend has a hot tub. If I was invited to use it I wouldn't turn up with all my friends? Would you? So why is it OK for people to do it with me and my pony and me be called rude?
 
Why on earth is op rude? Original 2 kids was fine, inviting a third is rude. The parents may well just want their kid to see a pony, but I bet if she wanted to play on a ds, ipad, Wii, trampoline, etc (all of which are a damn site cheaper) they wouldn't just expect a 3rd hand aquaintance to fufill that need.
 
Littlelegs said:
Why on earth is op rude? Original 2 kids was fine, inviting a third is rude. The parents may well just want their kid to see a pony, but I bet if she wanted to play on a ds, ipad, Wii, trampoline, etc (all of which are a damn site cheaper) they wouldn't just expect a 3rd hand aquaintance to fufill that need.
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Thank you littlelegs! I think going from 2 adults and 2 children to 4 adults and 5 children without being asked is much ruder! Yes I turned the others down as its not my yard or pony. If the others want to stroke animals there is a petting farm nearby with ponies, donkeys, llamas, small pets etc. If the kids are that desperate the parents can pay!
 
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