Taking a break from horses - a sad post

Serephin

Serephin

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Just wanted to moan/whine really - a few people might remember me looking for the perfect horse, and battling nerves the whole time - well today I was riding a horse for the second time with a view to buying him - proper cob type, confidence giver, behaved himself even when another horse ran off out hacking and dumped its rider - but I got back the yard and despite him being great I just don't think I can face owning a horse again at the moment. I am just worn down with thoughts of how it might all go wrong - so I have made the hard decision to stop looking and to just have a lesson a week and work on my confidence and see where I go from there.

But it makes me feel really really sad as I feel like a failure and that I have given up on my dream, but I just can't bring myself to say yes to any of these horses, despite finding some that are seemingly perfect for me - sorry, I just hoped someone might understand how I feel.

A large shot of vodka for everyone for listening to me *sniff*
 
I do feel for you, can't you buy the right one and go and have lessons on it to boost your confidence. I'm a worrier and I have the perfect pony and I still find it hard to ride out on my own, always have to rely on a mate to go out with me.
I am getting better the more I ride her and have had lessons to boost me. I did find when I did manage the once only hack on my own that I must have bored my pony senseless as I didn't stop talking to her
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Aww sorry hun!
Your not a failure we all go through times like this, I went through it back in Jan... so I know how you feel.

I think doing a lesson a week will do your confidence some good and is a good starting point to work through it
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Have you got any friends with horses that you could go and help with and get some confidence on from ground level too. It may do you the world of good, helping out with someones horses with out the stress of owning one, if that makes sense?

Good luck hun ***hugs***
 
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Have you got any friends with horses that you could go and help with and get some confidence on from ground level too. It may do you the world of good, helping out with someones horses with out the stress of owning one, if that makes sense?


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yeah, I do have a few friends with neds, so I can pester them for a horsey fix as well.

just feel pants about it all really - damn my stooooopid nerves!!

it just feels like too much to own one a the moment, the thought fills me with dread as oppose to excitement, which can't be good!
 
No it wont be good for either of you! you sound like you need some quiet playing time with some neds with out the stress. I still have bad nerves and panick at the thought of hacking out at the moment but Bri has brought my confidence on so much it's unreal and well worth the wait
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I think you have made a very hard decision, facing your demons is something most people cannot do.

A friend of mine has recently bought her first horse, a real safe cob, after taking riding lessons for a little over a year, to gain both the knowledge and the confidence needed.

Much better you take lessons or ride at a stables, than own a horse you cannot ride, or worse fear, that will make you both miserable. Seen it too many times.

Well done for making a hard decision, and good luck with regaining your confidence.
 
I know exactly how you feel. You are not a failure, far from it!Go to a decent riding school for lessons.Perhaps do some horse ownership exams.Some riding schools will let you compete their horses at riding shows at their centre WHEN YOU are ready.Just doyour own thing without pressure.It may be enough and there isnothing wrong with that.
 
I'm in exactly the same position. I sold my cob last week due to nerves and really can't be bothered to look for another at the moment. I feel a failure too and horses were my life so I'm feeling pretty depressed about it all. I haven't found the right horse for me in years, due to my nerves in old age, and hate the thought of trying another one out, only to find I may have to sell that one too, it just wouldn't be fair to the horse. I'm taking a break and may have some lessons somewhere but at the moment my poorly cat is taking up much of my time and the weather hasn't been too good anyway, which is helping.
 
A very sensible decison IMHO. I know a very experienced rider who had a confidence crisis and sold her horse but then bought the one she had been having lessons on at a RS. This was perfect, she had got to know him and trust him really well and had several lessons before she even thought about buying him. She is now really enjoying horse-owning again. This may be the way forward for you.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
Brave and right decision, if you are overwhelmed with fears it will all go wrong then you are at a higher risk of it doing exactly that
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Well done you for making a tough call x
 
Hi, oh I do sympathise with you and suspect a great many on here battle with their nerves at some time or another.

Your post was a bit vague and I wondered if you would/could tell me/us as many of the things that worry you as possible. Also, can you let us know the positives. Then can you tell your ideal horse. Also the place where you would like to keep it. You can pm me if its easier. The reason I ask is that you will probably find you are no different to a lot of us, me for sure, and that you are beating yourself up over things that with a little bit of encouragement you can overcome.

I struggle with my nerves and nearly didn't buy my boy, TBH I didn't think I was good enough. I am so glad I overcome my nerves and got my boy, we are very happy together. Over three years later I have learnt so much, had tears, tantrums and blissful happiness and really don't know what I ever would do without him.

Also, remember you don't have to be on your own. You could always get a more experienced person to perhaps share with you (I did this for a couple of months) so it took the pressure off me to keep him ticking over on my own.

xxx
 
Poor, you I know exactly how you feel.

I would make up any excuse not to have to handle my horse until a few months ago, due to nerves.

I wont go inot the details, but I cannot put inot words how 'scared' I was aroud him, especially after owning him for over 10 years, and having horses and ponies since I was 5.

If you would like to pm me please do, it can really help just to talk.

I now still have small moments of I just cant do this, but we on the whole have a great realtionship now, probsbly better than we have ever had.

I really was sooooooo, scared, but talking myself 'up' not 'down' did work.

It is the right choice for now, but do not give up, one day you WILL give yourslef a proper slap, I did and gave myself a brusise
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Sorry to read this. I hope you have a good break and come back to it. I've followed your posts and I really want you to find a horse who makes you happy.
 
Sounds like you are doing the right thing for you at the moment. Not a good idea to get another horse while you are feeling so negative about things - wait until you really want one. In the meantime try to have some fun and take the pressure off yourself.
It is awful when you lose confidence, I am going through this at the moment! don't know what has happened to me.
 
thanks everyone, I really appreciate your posts.

I am trying to look at the positives and see things as having a break, not giving up on the idea of finding my 'one' forever.

I shall focus on having fun and hopefully I will get back on track again.
 
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