Tearful, serious post- please be nice

Oh gosh it doesn't seem two minutes ago since I wrote a post like this... In fact it was about 3 years ago - and I've still got H!!! - And we're as thick as thieves now!

At the end of the day - the decision is yours - you ride to enjoy yourself - and there's nothing worse that not being relaxed whilst riding - H had been a nightmare for me - I did three things - Had LOTS of TFT sessions which restored my confidence - reassessed H's diet so that she was completely off sugar/starch (inc carrots and sugar beet which make her ridiculously spooky and inattentive) and got 2-3 lessons a week where the instructor worked with us intensely - Now I wouldn't consider selling her - we've bonded so well - I even trailer her off to comps alone - something that wouldn't have crossed my mind in a million years...

Good luck with your decision
Kate xx
 
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Stop beating yourself up! It is a sensible decision on many levels, and it takes far more courage to realise when a situation is not right than it does to put up with it because it is the easy option and nobody will criticise you for it. He is not the horse for you, and you may not be the human for him. Yes it will be sad, but you will find a horse that you can really bond with and then you will wonder why you ever felt so bad. Once you are back on your feet that is!

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What she said, can't better that!
It is supposed to be fun, and while it is nice to conquer something that is a challenge, there are limits.
 
Heck hon, you're not being a muppet. You've improved Sam tonnes since you bought him!! There's nothing wrong with wanting a horse where you can ride and have fun.

*hugs*
 
Horses are a hobby for you and meant to be fun (expensive fun, but fun nonetheless). If you are not enjoying this particular horse, then say goodbye to him. He will doubtless find the right person to take him on and you can look forward to finding the right partner for you.

I admire people who persevere with a difficult horse that they don't get on with, but at the end of the day if neither the horse nor the rider are enjoying it, then what's the point!
 
My god you do put yourself through it don't you!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, if everybody could be so selfless with their horses, there would be so many more happy horses and owners. It's a very hard decision to make but if it feels right for you, then its the right one.

Chin up - the right horse is out there for you
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PS - if you change your mind, noone will judge you
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I know exactly how you feel lzt, I went through the same thing with Taz, and selling him really broke my heart but I think it was the right decision.

We came on so far and I got so much confidence back jumping [he was the same as Sam in that respect, you had to be 100% positive or he'd get scared and duck out] and by the end he was doing great for me in the school - but I knew I still didn't have the confidence [or money and time] to take him out to loads of different places and maintain the confidence of both of us. I didn't want to go backwards again, so I made the decision to sell.

Honestly I think you're doing the right thing. You've helped him, but now you need something you can just have fun with and enjoy [like Paris!]. Likewise he can do better and really progress with somebody who has the confidence. Its not giving up, its making a decision which will benefit both of you, and there is no shame in it at all.
 
Another one that knows how you feel. For most of us riding is our hobby we do it for enjoyment - when it stops being fun what is the point?
Don't beat yourself up over it - your doing the right thing for you and therefore ultimately the horse.
 
Good lord if I had been through what you have been through I think I'd be waving a white flag right now! You so deserve a fun horse that you can trust and enjoy and I really hope when you are back on your feet that you are able to find him/her. You are one of the bravest people on here and I for one take my hat off to you.
 
I know exactly how you feel. Year before last I sold my big 'orange' mare. She was stunning, but not for me. We just never got on. She dented my confidence in a huge way. I hung on to her for months convincing myself that I'd get better, it didn't. I ended up in hospital in the end, as she just got worse and so did my confindence I ended up losing every riding abilty I had.

It took me over 6 months to find Josie, but i've never been happier, even if she is a madam
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Your perfect partner is out there waiting for just as much fun as you are. You'll find each other one day xxxx
 
There is no way that you are a 'giver upper'! You have worked hard with Sam and brought him on leaps and bounds, you should be proud of that. You have realised that this horse is not the one for you and you have made a sensible decision.
 
~jumps on Lzt with a huge hug~

Cant offer than much advice as never had to sell my own etc, but what you put in your thread just now is how I felt to some extent with Baron. Confidence was going quicker than it was coming back. So it sounds like you're making a very sensible and rational decision

Less of the self pity missy - from what I've seen from your vids & your threads you've done a bloody good job with him.

You're not a muppet at all - far from it - pm me if you ever feel like a rant etc. Cant help with advice but am always happy to listen xx
 
Oh honey, I am sorry to hear that you have decided to sell Sam, but I think you have made the right decision considering the things you have been through over the past year or so. Sam is a lovely horse, but sometimes no matter how much work you do on them, the two of you don't quite gel. I don't mean you don't adore each other, just that there is something missing, and this can be in just one small scenario, like you said out competing.

I hope you find him as good a home as you found Fal...
 
I don't think you're a muppet at all - I think you've so brave!!!
What a hard decision....big hugs from me, I'm really sorry. do think you've made the right decision though. Well done (((huggggs)))
 
i think you're really brave to have made the decision,and i think it takes a very good and caring rider to come to the decision to sell a horse that isnt working out for them-it takes real courage to admit that a partnership isnt working out.
good luck finding something new that will give you lots of fun!
 
I know EXACTLY how you feel! Its a very hard decision, but do it now while you can't see him everyday, I am supposed to be selling May, but as you know am far too attached to her!!

Would'nt it be so nice to get on something you can fully trust to pop round a course wherever you are, its a hobby and all about enjoying it, so get something you can enjoy that you will have fun on! x
 
Catembi I mirror your words, I have a TB on loan that is sh(t in traffic and can be dangerous, new girl dn care and gets on fine - but it took me two years of A&E to come to this and another "safer" horse.

Do not think you are a muppet - you have done wonders with him and you do need to ENJOY riding - not have the nerves and fear of getting back on - should be a pleasure.

Go get your dream horse.
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Tough decisions require great strength of personality. Don't put yourself down you have to do what is right for you both and it seems you've made the right decision, don't do hugs but a pat on the back I hope will suffice.
 
I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but would like to add my support to you for the brave decision you have made, & wish you luck in your search for your perfect horse.
 
you are not a muppet! I know you'd talked about this before and I know it isn't a decision that you have come to lightly. But if there are instances when you aren't 100% confident jumping and he runs out at the last minute then like you say it's not worth it. Horses are expensive to keep and at the end of the day you should be getting some fun out of it, and if that fun isn't there even for part of the time then it takes a very strong person to admit that the horse isn't the right one for them. I know previously I said to keep him but it is obvious from your post that this is something you have given a lot of thought to and hey I'm female so am allowed to change my mind
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You have totally transformed him since you had him and please please please take a lot of pleasure in turning him into a stunning healthy horse
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you should be proud of him. It's not an easy decision to make but I think your very brave. xxx
 
I cannot say much more than has been said already but speaking as someone who lost her confidence badly on a riding school horse I can imagine what is it like that feeling of dread.
Sometimes I feel a bit like that on my lad as he is huge and a long way to fall if I did. Have not had many falls in 24 years or so of riding, I would say around 5, maybe less?
Maybe it has been through riding safe horses or having a good balance I don't know.
I just know after a bad fall a few years ago ( didn't break anything, just bruising, but it was the mental scars that were worse). I will most probably never trust a horse completely now and yet before I was mostly carefree.
My lad is good bless him but can be nappy out on a hack-although having said that I have only been out twice on him alone and I know he has done hunting and so on so may miss the company- I try not to let any fear show and have not got faster than trot yet, mainly though due to the track I have ridden on not being suitable as it is quite stony.
I think you are ultra brave to have carried on the way you have. Some riders would not have even got that far, after falling off just the once. Because you say that jumping is your sphere it is very important that you have trust in your horse that he will not only jump for you but will not try and run out. I know most horses have probably done it at one time or another but as one poster on the thread correctly said if the horse thinks you are lacking in confidence he will take the p*** with you, which ultimately may lead to more injuries
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You are not a giver-upper by any means. I can tell by the way you come across on here that you are a genuine person who has thought long and hard about what to do. Selling him on to someone who doesn't mind the falls or a person who may decide to train him for a different discipline such as dressage is the kindest thing you can do for him and for yourself. You have done exceptionally well to get him to the level that you have and of that you must hold your head up high and be proud.
Find yourself a new partner and one which you can trust completely. Maybe try a loan or two first or have a horse on trial if you can and that way you will know whether you and the horse will bond to form the perfect partnership, rather than thinking of buying one straightaway. Just a thought?
Whatever you decide to do in getting a new horse. I wish Sam the very best for the future and hope he will find a new mum or dad as committed as you were to him. Also I wish the same for you. Be safe, but most of all be happy. Riding a horse should be a pleasure and not despair and I hope you will one day become the happiest rider there is x
best wishes
Caroline x
 
You're definately not a muppet or a 'giver upper'! No advice to give as will only be repeating the wise words of other members who have already posted, so instead will wish you both the best of luck finding your perfect other halves! x x x
 
I used to tell my horse agency clients choosing a horse is like choosing a husband, you have to kiss a lot of frogs first...
Unless you can't wait to get on him every day, then don't hesitate to sell him.
He's done what he was bought for, got your confidence back, and now perhaps is time to change to something that feels more what you want.
Ask eahotson, she debated about selling Jack for months, but adores her new horse..
I hope you make a profit on him, if you have improved him you should do, but don't let sentiment force you to struggle on, if he doesn't give you that elated feeling when you ride him, look elsewhere.
Remember you spend all that money time and effort for PLEASURE.
 
Good heavens woman, stop worrying!

Horseriding should be fun, not a constant worry, so it seems to me as though you've made a totally sensible decision.
He needs a rider that will suit him, and you need a horse that will suit you.
Seems pretty straightforward to me.
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Who thinks you are a muppet? I think you have been very brave all along and having followed your progress with Fal I think it took real guts to carry on and do what you have done. Life is short enough without putting yourself through all this and your riding is your hobby and you need to be enjoying it. It is not giving up - Sam has taught you a lot, as every horse you ever sit on will, but now you are looking for something a bit different - there is no shame in that. Good luck with it all.
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Aww LZT, noone could ever think you were a giver-upper, you have worked so hard to build up your partnership with Sam and done really well to have improved him like you have ... but if the trust isn't there, if you're not having fun, then I think you're really brave to admit he's not the one for you. We all spend a lot of time and money on our horses and if its not fun then what's the point?
((((( hugs)))))
 
Just to echo everyone else... you've made the right decision and you're definitely not a muppet of any sort. The muppets are people who stubbornly persevere with a horse that isn't what they want and make themselves miserable over.

Horses are our hobby and should be fun - plain and simple. Life throws so many other stressful, horrible situations at us that the thing we do for fun should be just that and never a source of worry. You want what I call a 'no brainer' horse... in other words a horse that you can take anywhere and do whatever you want to do with whenever you want to do it, without having to think of potential problems first (what if he does this, what if that happens etc).

You've done wonders with Sam and you'll find him a fab home. You should be proud of yourself.
 
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