Telling someone you’re not interested

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moonmarker02

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Hi,
I need some advice on how to tell someone I’m not interested in their horse in a polite way. after viewing a loan, I’ve decided it’s not the ideal situation but don’t want to sound rude or a time waster when telling the owner she won’t be suitable.
The horse won’t be suitable because she’s very strong on ground.
Nothing against owner or horse, both are lovely but it’s not really a situation that will work for me.
Anyone know how to tell them it won’t work? Through text so preferably not so I sound blunt?
TIA x
 
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Trying out a horse and finding it isn't suitable doesn't make you a time waster. Just keep it short and simple: "Thanks for showing me your horse, he's lovely but not the right fit for me. I hope you find him a good home soon." Done.
 
firstly, if the person gave up their time to let you try their horse then i would not do it by text - it takes only a few moments to ring (unless there is some reason that you can't ring?).
To say no politely, I would just say that her horse is absolutely lovely but that i think he is a little bit much for me at this stage -- along with a thank you for her time. If she wants you supervised then she is already thinking there might be a mis-match between you and her horse anyway, so people take things better if you agree with them (this doesn't mean to say it is true, just means you leave them feeling happy as you never know you might want to loan another horse from her another time.
 
"Sorry but he isn't what I am looking for" - no criticism of either horse or owner, just clear and unambiguous. Works with houses being viewed as well :)
 
Most owners would prefer that their horse go to the right home, so saying that the horse is not right for you is no criticism.
 
As suggested by wkiwi, I would definitely speak to the owner, either on the phone or in person. I would also give a clear reason why the horse was not what I was after, along the lines of ‘I need a horse who is easy to handle on the ground and I found [horse] to be too strong for me’. If it was my horse, I’d want to know why it wasn’t suitable as there may be something I could work on to make it more suitable. ‘Sorry, it’s not right for me’ doesn’t give the owner much to go on (and risks looking time waster-ish).
 
There is nothing wrong with saying the horse is not right for you and why. We are small breeders but I won't sell a horse if I think it is not suitable for the rider. Nothing wrong with my horse or the rider. I turned away two mums looking for SJ for their daughters coming out of Pony Club, because I felt the horse in question would be a bit strong for them. I bought my first horse from a yard where he was grounded all winter, because he dumped so many of the clients. He never gave me a moment's anxiety in the next 20 years but we just clicked.
 
By "strong on the ground" I guess you're meaning that this horse is rude and bargy on the ground and to handle, yes? But OK to ride?? Yes?? or No?

I went to see a horse once, it literally came out the stable like a bullet out of a gun and nearly knocked me flying - I walked away coz didn't think it was the horse for me at all.

Someone else who's fairly local to me went to see it the next day, liked it and bought it. If it HAD been rude on the ground when she viewed it, it was something that she obviously felt wasn't a problem, and/or she knew she could deal with it and improve things, which I'm guessing is what she has done. But you need experience and confidence to do this - plus the right professional help if necessary. The girl who bought this horse has done quite a lot with it since she had it! I've seen her FB posts and she seems to have been busy!

I'm not keen on bargy horses, but it IS possible to improve things by going back to basics and doing appropriate groundwork/prep and setting out firm boundaries etc, and using a professional when needed. So what I'm saying is if this is a horse that you like for lots of reasons and/or it has qualities that you are looking for under saddle, it might be worth the effort you'd need to put in on getting some groundwork and boundaries established?

However, however - as this is a LOAN not a purchase, I think you are right to walk away; you could put an awful lot of work into a horse which isn't your own, and you know damn well that if it ever does go back to the owner you've wasted your time and your effort coz they'll let it get that way again.

I'd ring the seller and have a chat rather than text TBH. Just say, as others have said, thanks ever-so for your time in showing me XXXX, she is lovely but I really don't feel she's the right horse for me at the moment, wishing you all the best in finding the right person etc etc. If you've made your mind up then just be honest - and stay firm....... if this horse IS difficult to manage on the ground they might be wanting to try and fob it off on someone (sorry, being uncharitable!) and they may try to push it on you.
 
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