Thank you expectations

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lizziebell

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There’s been a spate of horses on roads v motorist type posts on my local village facebook groups/ pages recently, and one common complaint is horse riders not thanking drivers for passing wide and slow. Now, I do thank drivers if I’m riding on a public road, but it got me thinking… why? Why are horse riders expected to thank drivers for following the law? I’m basically saying thank you for not running me over. I can’t think of another law that people expect gratitude for because they have obeyed it.
 
I signal a thank you whenever a car slows and lets me cross a zebra crossing, even though that's my legal right. In the same way, I'd always say thank you to a server at a shop even though they're getting paid to help me.

I think it's about showing that you recognise the other person has been inconvenienced, and that you appreciate their effort/consideration.
 
OH sometimes criticises me for not thanking a motorist who stops when I'm on the zebra crossing...

Should I also thank those who don't drive up onto the pavement to run over?

If somebody in a shop is polite, I'm the most polite person in the world. If the checkout person barely looks at me, continues to chat on the phone and points to the card reader, then I'm as blunt as half a brick.

On Friday, leaving work, I saw a motorist drive over a zebra crossing as I stepped into it; a woman work a child of around eight was in the middle of the crossing.

The driver had to wait in a queue of traffic at a red light. I was so angry, I walked up to his driver's side and loudly berated him for driving over the crossing, using quite unpleasant language, and gave him the rods before turning away. He could not have misunderstood why I was so enraged.

He waited for the lights to change so that he felt safe enough to wind down his window and insult me before driving away.
 
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Nice to get a wave when allowing rider necessary room and time, but I wouldn't expect it either!

I think some people just love moaning about things that may slow down their car journey, be that, walkers, cyclists, tractors , horse riders !

Need to try and educate the wider society away form the car being the ultimate mode of transport that cannot under no circumstances be slowed down or inconvenienced !
 
I've told this story before but
There is a single width bridge not far from my home. It is on an A route. Almost everyone takes their turn politely.
A neighbour already over half way across the bridge was confronted by a car coming the other way. The driver refused to reverse so neighbour unfolded his newspaper and settled down to read.
Saying thanks and being polite costs nothing and achieves a lot.
 
As said, I do always thank drivers, so maybe my musing are a bit misunderstood. My thoughts were - cars passing wide and slow is the LAW. Why do we thank someone for obeying the law? Shops don’t have signs saying “thank you for not shoplifting today, that’s very considerate of you”. The only other actual law I can think of that I also thank is pedestrian crossings - I will thank cars for stopping. I’m struggling to think of other actual laws this applies to (not just thanking people for being polite). Hope that makes more sense than my first post 🤷🏻‍♀️

My post is in no way saying not to thank drivers, or that I’m not grateful to them, nor that I think we shouldn’t thank them, nor that I’m not polite and thankful for all acts of every day consideration.
 
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lizziebell said:
There’s been a spate of horses on roads v motorist type posts on my local village facebook groups/ pages recently, and one common complaint is horse riders not thanking drivers for passing wide and slow. Now, I do thank drivers if I’m riding on a public road, but it got me thinking… why? Why are horse riders expected to thank drivers for following the law? I’m basically saying thank you for not running me over. I can’t think of another law that people expect gratitude for because they have obeyed it.
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Because I don’t believe thanking people is reserved only for going above and beyond.

Any positive, helpful, useful thing gets a thank you from me.

Thank you is an expression of gratitude, and I’m grateful for all sorts of things. Gratitude does not mean “I was in the wrong” or “you’ve put me ahead of yourself”, it simply means that I appreciate something and I’m pleased it is this way.
 
lizziebell said:
There’s been a spate of horses on roads v motorist type posts on my local village facebook groups/ pages recently, and one common complaint is horse riders not thanking drivers for passing wide and slow. Now, I do thank drivers if I’m riding on a public road, but it got me thinking… why? Why are horse riders expected to thank drivers for following the law? I’m basically saying thank you for not running me over. I can’t think of another law that people expect gratitude for because they have obeyed it.
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Are you a PWAS person? The “why should I thank someone for not killing me” is a common statement on there … and suggesting that saying thank you was a good thing got me blocked from the group 🙄

For me it’s (a) good manners, (b) because I like seeing if I can get a smile back from the driver and (c) because if that driver feels their actions are appreciated then they’ll probably be considerate the next time they see a horse on the road.

It takes just seconds of my time to say thanks/smile/raise a hand and I view it the same as if I’m saying thank you to any other road user for being nice 🙂
 
Rowreach said:
Are you a PWAS person? The “why should I thank someone for not killing me” is a common statement on there … and suggesting that saying thank you was a good thing got me blocked from the group 🙄

For me it’s (a) good manners, (b) because I like seeing if I can get a smile back from the driver and (c) because if that driver feels their actions are appreciated then they’ll probably be considerate the next time they see a horse on the road.

It takes just seconds of my time to say thanks/smile/raise a hand and I view it the same as if I’m saying thank you to any other road user for being nice 🙂
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Errr no! And if you read my post further down I was trying to explain myself a little better as it looks like I failed with my first one. It’s not really about the thanking driver thing at all. It’s more about laws and how they’re interpreted I guess. It was just a thought whilst reading all the arguments on face ache.
 
lizziebell said:
As said, I do always thank drivers, so maybe my musing are a bit misunderstood. My thoughts were - cars passing wide and slow is the LAW. Why do we thank someone for obeying the law? Shops don’t have signs saying “thank you for not shoplifting today, that’s very considerate of you”. The only other actual law I can think of that I also thank is pedestrian crossings - I will thank cars for stopping. I’m struggling to think of other actual laws this applies to (not just thanking people for being polite). Hope that makes more sense than my first post 🤷🏻‍♀️
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I take your point about the law, but it’s also the law that shop workers should not be assaulted or abided - and yet shops do say thank you for not abusing or assaulting their staff.

If us saying thank you means that the car driver continues to make our lives safer, I’m all for it.

I also carry out CPD training for bus drivers, and a course I taught a couple of years ago had the same clip taken from two different angles. It showed a bus passing a cyclist at 20mph at 1.5m distance. In the nearside mirror of the bus, that looks quite a distance. From the cyclist’s hat cam, terrifyingly close.

I’ve always trained my drivers to pass horses as far on the other side of the road as possible, and slowly - under 10mph. I’ve also trained them to stop if the horse looks anything but utterly unbothered by the bus. For a bus driver, if he/she loses time on a trip, it’s guaranteed that on that trip down the road, a passenger will have a go and blame them for being late. So please, thank the bus drivers that have made your life easier - because it has made their life harder.
 
View said:
I take your point about the law, but it’s also the law that shop workers should not be assaulted or abided - and yet shops do say thank you for not abusing or assaulting their staff.
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Thank you. That’s what I was wandering - what other laws we apply the same courtesy too. Yes, I’ve seen this too in doctors surgeries and post offices. I find this quite sad that we have to thank people for not being abusive - what sort of people even find that acceptable behaviour !
 
It’s like saying why do we thank anyone for anything which is their job to do? Why do we thank the person in the shop for taking our money, why do we leave tips for people when they’re getting paid anyway, why do we thank the driver when we get off the bus? It’s just good manners. And it’s nice to do, and nice when you’re on the receiving end too.
 
View said:
. So please, thank the bus drivers that have made your life easier - because it has made their life harder.
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I always thank bus drivers when getting off. And train guards when I see them. I thank the bin men when I meet them, for emptying my bins. I appreciate people thanking me when I serve their lunch in the pub.
I’m an all round grateful person!
 
I always thank people, whether I am riding or walking the dog (I have a very reactive dog and if I'm not feeling up to a training walk, we walk along the miles of quite lanes). Unless of course they've done something which is stupid and/or dangerous. I understand your point though, I know more than once a driver hasn't seen me thank them and I couldn't help but wonder if they thought I was a rude rider just because they weren't looking at me or the pillar of the car was in the way. I don't think we should be obligated at all, but I do think it makes the world a little friendlier, which is always a good thing :)
 
nagblagger said:
I thank drivers for being considerate, slowing down and going wide. Common courtesy.
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This, plus it will encourage them to continue to slow down in future. I detest bad manners, it only takes a a few seconds to smile and give a thanks. Cannot believe riders think it is OK not to thank.
 
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