Thank you expectations

I always think drivers who slow down. Give them a big smile to! Anyone going too fast gets a mouthful and the middle finger! On the whole we are on country lanes so nearly all the traffic is local and on the whole they are very good. If they’ve gone past too quickly, I’m more than happy to ring the police and report them or go and knock on their front door.
 
I also try & pull in / trot on / not hold up traffic passing, try & generally not cause too much inconvenience. Try & be very visible, & remember we are the vulnerable users.

I did have scary incident recently. Single track windy lane (it’s actually access only road). Could see on coming car. Wasn’t slowing. I’m clearly visible. Slowed too little too late. Driver wasn’t looking. Skidded close pass nearly stopping. Little older lady driver. I wacked roof with my whip! Hopefully will think twice!
 
Fieldlife said:
I also try & pull in / trot on / not hold up traffic passing, try & generally not cause too much inconvenience. Try & be very visible, & remember we are the vulnerable users.

I did have scary incident recently. Single track windy lane (it’s actually access only road). Could see on coming car. Wasn’t slowing. I’m clearly visible. Slowed too little too late. Driver wasn’t looking. Skidded close pass nearly stopping. Little older lady driver. I wacked roof with my whip! Hopefully will think twice!
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Yeah I had a similar incident with a big young woman driver.
 
T and I did a five mile road work circuit today with me on foot. He can be a bit sketchy around vehicles so we're working on it.

Pretty much every vehicle slowed right down and gave us plenty of space and a white van even stopped when I asked! There were smiles all around and I'm 100% sure that's because I was so OTT with the thanking and smiling (plus extremely apologetic when we were definitely an inconvenience). It might be the law/highway code for people to pass wide and slow, but I'd rather encourage good feeling and hope that people then do it because they want to rather than resenting that they have to.

We did have a couple that slowed late/didn't slow towards the end but he didn't bat an eyelid - likely due to the considerate drivers we met earlier. The very last car we 'met' were in stitches as they passed us as I hadn't realised they were crawling along right behind us due to the wind and the 'silly, spooky' pony didn't so much as flick an ear in their direction 🫣 cue me shoving Tris onto the verge and a lot of apologising!

Tbh, I thank anyone that's considerate no matter if I'm walking, riding or driving. Heck, I wind my window down to thank cyclists that pull over! Imo there's nothing wrong with being thankful, and no one's ever been upset by my gratitude afaik!
 
I thank them for being courteous. I think it's just recognition for doing the right thing and knowing to do the right thing. The ones who don't slow down or move over get a different gesture.

Now ... thanking bus drivers I don't understand....they are doing their job and I certainly don't get thanked for doing mine!
 
lynz88 said:
I thank them for being courteous. I think it's just recognition for doing the right thing and knowing to do the right thing. The ones who don't slow down or move over get a different gesture.

Now ... thanking bus drivers I don't understand....they are doing their job and I certainly don't get thanked for doing mine!
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Well it’s just nice to be nice, and it doesn’t cost you anything and might brighten someone else’s day.
 
Being from the older generation I'm courteous to just about everyone, I don't ride now but always thanked courteous vehicle drivers when I did, it bugs me when I pass riders wide and slow on narrow lanes or wait behind at a good distance till safe to pass and they don't thank you even with their hands full with a young or stroppy horse it's so easy to nod your head and mouth thank you. I wonder how many drivers stop driving courteously when they haven't been thanked and take a stuff you attitude? On a similar vein I virtually never get thanked by a cyclist for passing wide and slow. I have noticed while walking the dog how many drivers follow the give way to pedestrians at junctions rule, again though I don't have to say thank you I always do.
 
Absolutely always thank the driver…………………………..and the person who makes your coffee, and the wait staff, and the hospitality workers and the retail staff. Plus when someone goes over and above for you, get their name and send a note to their boss about how great they are.

It’s not hard and it also adds to your own happiness as well by looking for the best in everyone.

Given the UK I’ve always found to be the home of impeccable manners (but with excessive passive aggressiveness) I’m surprised that someone has to ask if you should thank the driver.
 
I try to thank everyone too. It’s not hard to nod and smile, even if I can’t take my hands off the reins. There’s nothing worse than some dopey horse rider that slobs along past someone that has tried hard to be slow and cautious for them with their nose in the air! Equally I would always thank somebody in a car that gave way for me on a narrow lane, or who let me into a queueing lane of traffic, or out of a junction. Or someone that held a door for me.

I don’t understand why we can’t be polite and thoughtful.
 
Surely it’s just common curtesy to thank someone for doing something for you even if they are obeying a law or being paid to do their job. When some has served you in a shop or brought you your meal in a restaurant, do you just ignore them? To me it’s downright rude not to say thank you. Perhaps I’m just an old fogey but if that’s what it’s come to, it’s a sorry old world.
 
lynz88 said:
Now ... thanking bus drivers I don't understand....they are doing their job and I certainly don't get thanked for doing mine!
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The bus driver is doing their job passing wide and slow, or indeed stopping for you on a horse.

But he or she will probably be running later than timetabled as a consequence and that means that two or three stops down the route a passenger will be giving them a hard time without asking why they are late.

So in doing the right thing (their job) for you the rider, they know that their job has just become griefy.

That’s why I’m asking you to thank the bus driver that’s just doing their job.
 
lynz88 said:
I thank them for being courteous. I think it's just recognition for doing the right thing and knowing to do the right thing. The ones who don't slow down or move over get a different gesture.

Now ... thanking bus drivers I don't understand....they are doing their job and I certainly don't get thanked for doing mine!
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I think that’s a poor reflection on the people who work around you, rather than a reason not to thank people for doing their job. I thank my staff for doing their jobs all the time. I’m very grateful that they are doing them.

Your job particularly is so important even if it may involve telling people what they don’t want to hear sometimes, and people should be thanking you in my opinion. I thank people for their time and effort, even if I don’t like the result.

View said:
The bus driver is doing their job passing wide and slow, or indeed stopping for you on a horse.

But he or she will probably be running later than timetabled as a consequence and that means that two or three stops down the route a passenger will be giving them a hard time without asking why they are late.

So in doing the right thing (their job) for you the rider, they know that their job has just become griefy.

That’s why I’m asking you to thank the bus driver that’s just doing their job.
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I am taking that to mean thanking bus drivers when you get off, rather than with horses involved.
 
I always thank everyone. But I do think it would be amusing if cyclists thanked everyone who passed them. Nobody expects it from them do they?
But anything that makes people think of horse riders as polite road users is a good thing, as hopefully it will mean they pass the next horse and rider they meet with care and consideration.
 
I’ll be honest when I’m driving and passing horses/cyclists/pedestrians I’m looking at the road and not whether someone is thanking me and I don’t give a monkeys whether they thank me or not.

I do nod a thanks when riding and drivers pass considerately as I don’t think taking hands off reins in that moment is always safe but agree it’s sad that we should feel if we don’t, they would be happy to hurt us or our horses 😢

I am however much infuriated by drivers who don’t wave a thanks when you’ve let them out or similar 😂
 
View said:
The bus driver is doing their job passing wide and slow, or indeed stopping for you on a horse.

But he or she will probably be running later than timetabled as a consequence and that means that two or three stops down the route a passenger will be giving them a hard time without asking why they are late.

So in doing the right thing (their job) for you the rider, they know that their job has just become griefy.

That’s why I’m asking you to thank the bus driver that’s just doing their job.
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I meant when you get off the bus - it just seems weird that people thank them. It's obviously a cultural thing that I don't understand likewise I don't understand why it's a free for all on the train when getting off instead of letting the people ahead of you get off first, with those in the middle carriage seats getting off last.


LadyGascoyne said:
I think that’s a poor reflection on the people who work around you, rather than a reason not to thank people for doing their job. I thank my staff for doing their jobs all the time. I’m very grateful that they are doing them.

Your job particularly is so important even if it may involve telling people what they don’t want to hear sometimes, and people should be thanking you in my opinion. I thank people for their time and effort, even if I don’t like the result.


I am taking that to mean thanking bus drivers when you get off, rather than with horses involved.
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LG, you're one in a million.
 
lizziebell said:
There’s been a spate of horses on roads v motorist type posts on my local village facebook groups/ pages recently, and one common complaint is horse riders not thanking drivers for passing wide and slow. Now, I do thank drivers if I’m riding on a public road, but it got me thinking… why? Why are horse riders expected to thank drivers for following the law? I’m basically saying thank you for not running me over. I can’t think of another law that people expect gratitude for because they have obeyed it.
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I think perhaps the point here is not whether you should thank polite drivers (most say yes) but how it's a bit pathetic that drivers feel the need to complain on social media about it. At worst, if I were the driver, I might think to myself 'a wave would have been nice' but I can't imagine having the time or thought to have a Faceache rant about it.

Equally I saw a similar one the other day complaining (with a video taken while driving) of two riders two abreast, with lots of high vis, looking pretty sensible to me. The complaint was about them riding two abreast and holding up cars. Now we all know that this is both legal and often sensible. Makes you realise how few drivers really know the highway code or specifically the horse rules and recommendations. Hardly ever does anyone pass me on our lanes with 2m to spare. Etc...
 
I thank everybody unless they’re clearly driving recklessly. I suck up the too fast etc as I think having a go at them is just going to make them worse and thanking them might make them more awareness time. Thanking someone I don’t think can make a situation worse but a two finger salute always makes it worse.
 
I saw the same complaint Abacus. I am surprised stuff like this doesn't come up on driving tests especially as horses on roads is quite common over here. Then again, I did have to instruct OH though when driving and coming up to some horses - both to slow down more and give space. As a (former/very irregular) driver, it wouldn't bother me if someone riding thanked me or not tbh. But then again, I know the rules of the road which may be the difference....
 
I thank all drivers that slow down, even some that don't slow down much as long as they have given me space and I don't feel unsafe. sometimes I can't lift a hand, but a shout of 'thank you' or a nod if I've made eye contact.

I have a friend that doesn't thank anyone and often rides in a way that obstructs the road. She will also shout at drivers who don't slow down. I get quite embarrassed if I ride with her and often tell her off for her attitude. Gives us riders a bad name in my opinion.

I also thank bus drivers when I get off and taxi drivers when I get out of the car. I like to thank colleagues for their time and effort even if they are 'just doing the job'

A thank you costs nothing but goes a really long way in building relationships. Steve Young says 'the last thing they do is the first thing they learn' and I think that can be applicable of people as well as horses.

My dad used to say 'manners cost nothing' and 'first impressions are important, but the last one is lasting'
 
I agree with Abacus, I think it costs nothing to say thank you and always do if I can. Whether the driver sees my thank you or not is another matter. I do find it strange be so annoyed by a lack of thank you that you feel the need to go on social media about it. I'd just mutter "a thank you would be nice" to myself.
The other day I thanked a driver for stopping, he wasn't going to, but he didn't really have a choice because Enormosaurus was in the middle of the lane due to a pair of barking malinois bouncing of the gate to the side of the road. He had a face like a wet weekend, but I gave him a cheery thank you anyway.
 
Another who thanks drivers provided they’ve made some attempt to slow down or go wide, thanks other drivers even when probably not really necessary, thank bus drivers, etc. I agree we are really just thanking people for what they should be doing anyway and I have sometimes had the similar thought about thanking a driver for slowing down for a horse, that you are only thanking them for following the highway code, but I think it is polite and hopefully does encourage them to do the same for others. I think given the number of people you think horse riders shouldn’t be on the road or that horse riders are arrogant or stuck up, the more we can do to show what nice people we are better.
 
I can see logically the argument for not needing to thank every driver - after all, I don't graciously thank every other driver on the road for staying in their lane, abiding to the legal speed limit and generally keeping to the rules of the road - as passing horse and rider 2 metres wide at 10 miles per hour is nothing more than the law these days. Of course, I'd say thank you driving if someone has gone out of their way to be helpful - like let me go first etc.

However, practically, when riding on roads I think it goes a long way to be seen to thank other driver's and it's just a nice thing to do. I'll always try to get put of their way, too - so either trot if I can or pull over if possible. My OH thinks it's funny I have different thank you's for different kinds of traffic 🤣 I usually give vans and what looks like trade people a big smile and thumbs up - if they have a window down I'll give them a 'Cheers' or a 'cheers mate' - outside of toasting a drinking, I never day cheers and I never call anyone mate. It's come from not wanting to be seen as too posh and more human after an idiot had a go at me for saying 'thank you very much' ... which I appreciate is probably a bit stereotypical but no-one seems to mind and they often give me a big smile and thumbs up back!

Most other people get a hands off the reins and a big smile - children get a wave too!

I'm clearly so smiley and thankful I've been stopped on a few occasions to say how nice it is to see someone enjoying riding and being thankful. A couple of people have also stopped to ask how they should overtake horses, what to do if one is spooking etc so it does no harm, and hopefully a fair bit of good - mine is pretty good in traffic but more understanding and empathy can only be a good thing for the next rider whose horse might not be so good :)
 
MuddyMonster said:
I can see logically the argument for not needing to thank every driver - after all, I don't graciously thank every other driver on the road for staying in their lane, abiding to the legal speed limit and generally keeping to the rules of the road - as passing horse and rider 2 metres wide at 10 miles per hour is nothing more than the law these days. Of course, I'd say thank you driving if someone has gone out of their way to be helpful - like let me go first etc.

However, practically, when riding on roads I think it goes a long way to be seen to thank other driver's and it's just a nice thing to do. I'll always try to get put of their way, too - so either trot if I can or pull over if possible. My OH thinks it's funny I have different thank you's for different kinds of traffic 🤣 I usually give vans and what looks like trade people a big smile and thumbs up - if they have a window down I'll give them a 'Cheers' or a 'cheers mate' - outside of toasting a drinking, I never day cheers and I never call anyone mate. It's come from not wanting to be seen as too posh and more human after an idiot had a go at me for saying 'thank you very much' ... which I appreciate is probably a bit stereotypical but no-one seems to mind and they often give me a big smile and thumbs up back!

Most other people get a hands off the reins and a big smile - children get a wave too!

I'm clearly so smiley and thankful I've been stopped on a few occasions to say how nice it is to see someone enjoying riding and being thankful. A couple of people have also stopped to ask how they should overtake horses, what to do if one is spooking etc so it does no harm, and hopefully a fair bit of good - mine is pretty good in traffic but more understanding and empathy can only be a good thing for the next rider whose horse might not be so good :)
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Fab post. I do the wave to children as well sometimes. I’ve thanked a few companies as well where their drivers have been exceptionally good including a firm where I met seven of the huge lorries one day on a quiet country lane and they were brilliant. They were collecting earth spoil from a local stud as it happened. My horse is good in traffic but we did have a scare once with a horse box of all such things and so to have met such a nice drivers was lovely and I got a very nice reply from the transport manager saying that he would use the email in ongoing training. I’ve also found the food companies really good and on Twitter included them in a couple of posts to say thanks as whilst they are in much smaller vans they always seem to be very polite and I know they have pretty tight schedules to work too
 
I always thank drivers as they pass (unless they don't slow down at all!), just like I thank drivers who stop at a pedestrian crossing, drivers who have waited at a narrow part of the road/behind a parked car on their side of the road to let me pass in my car, person behind the till at a shop etc etc.
I'm pretty socially awkward/introverted, so would rather not talk to random members of the public but I make the effort to do this as it is (to me) the generally nice and polite thing to do.
 
humblepie said:
Fab post. I do the wave to children as well sometimes. I’ve thanked a few companies as well where their drivers have been exceptionally good including a firm where I met seven of the huge lorries one day on a quiet country lane and they were brilliant. They were collecting earth spoil from a local stud as it happened. My horse is good in traffic but we did have a scare once with a horse box of all such things and so to have met such a nice drivers was lovely and I got a very nice reply from the transport manager saying that he would use the email in ongoing training. I’ve also found the food companies really good and on Twitter included them in a couple of posts to say thanks as whilst they are in much smaller vans they always seem to be very polite and I know they have pretty tight schedules to work too
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I've done that too & it's nice to know it's appreciated :)

To be fair, I've fed back about poor road users too though 🤣. The worst was a cycle club who overtook me on masse on a blind bend downhill, forcing multiple oncoming traffic to stop and then argued quite strongly about it (it was OK apparently, because they shouted 'horse' and slowed down - I'm still not sure they realise how much danger they put themselves in). If you do that whilst wearing your cycling club branded kit, you best believe your club is going to receive an email about it ...
 
A few weeks ago I was riding thru the village & I could hear a car behind me, I trotted to where I could pull in off the road to let the car go by, I did thank him but didn't raise my hand very high. I carried on up the lane and 5 mins later this same car comes back down the lane increasing his speed as he approaches me, then slams his brakes on a foot or so in front of me, naturally I had something to say to him, extremely loudly, his response being " you never thanked me for slowing behind you earlier " wtf !! unfortunately this is what we are dealing with these days.
 
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