Thank you expectations

I try to acknowledge any driver that passes me and my horse wide and slow but then I also thank drivers who let me out at junctions when I am driving my car . I was brought up to be polite . What I dont like is that some drivers feel they are "entitled" to a thank you as its not always practical for a rider to take hands off the rein and a smile or head nod isnt always seen. We do seem to live in a world where many people feel they are "entitled " in general.
 
Fieldlife said:
I also try & pull in / trot on / not hold up traffic passing, try & generally not cause too much inconvenience. Try & be very visible, & remember we are the vulnerable users.

I did have scary incident recently. Single track windy lane (it’s actually access only road). Could see on coming car. Wasn’t slowing. I’m clearly visible. Slowed too little too late. Driver wasn’t looking. Skidded close pass nearly stopping. Little older lady driver. I wacked roof with my whip! Hopefully will think twice!
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A delivery driver got a whip to the side of his car ( single track lane with passing places, passing to close and too fast ) and when we saw him returning he stopped and complained about it . He was swiftly educated that if he had passed at the correct distance ( and speed) there would have been no contact and that he was lucky it was just a whip he caught . In the end he apologised and on future occasions we had no futher problems .
 
anglo said:
I try to acknowledge any driver that passes me and my horse wide and slow but then I also thank drivers who let me out at junctions when I am driving my car . I was brought up to be polite . What I dont like is that some drivers feel they are "entitled" to a thank you as its not always practical for a rider to take hands off the rein and a smile or head nod isnt always seen. We do seem to live in a world where many people feel they are "entitled " in general.
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Must admit, I shout 'thank you' more often than not as I always use a lunge line when leading out and if Tris is in a very spooky mood, he can be flinchy/try to spin if I start moving my arms around :rolleyes:
 
I always thank drivers who slow down. My horse isn't great with traffic and I would like them to know that I appreciated them slowing down, so that they are more likely to continue slowing down for horses in the future.

It reeeeeally annoys me when I get no thanks for slowing down for a horse (and I will pass them very slowly), or you get stuck behind someone riding at 2mph straight past passing places... The main reason it annoys me is because I find myself thinking, if I (a horse rider) am finding this rider so ungrateful or obnoxious, how would the average car driver feel about it, and therefore how likely are they to overtake the next horse recklessly?
 
Yesterday there was a clearly grumpy and frustrated delivery driver trying to find addresses. We passed each other about 5times, every time I pulled over on my horse, smiled and said thank you. By the last time, he pulled over wound down his window and said thank you and happy Christmas.

I like to think on Christmas Eve I trained a non horse aware delivery driver to be more horse aware!!
 
It's a bugbear of mine too. Personally I do thank drivers where practical but don't understand the level of negatively for those who don't. You don't get the same criticism towards cyclists or walkers for example. It also doesn't take much imagination to think of number of reasons why taking your hands off the reins / handles is less than ideal. I don't understand why there is this expectation to be personally and regularly thanked for acting within the law.
 
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Met two groups of riders out today. Both decked out in hi bus and lit up like Belisha beacons, both sets very courteous, moving on to get off the road ASAP, and one rider most effusively thanked me when a human emerged from the scary bus, and with permission I led her horse past said scary bus and gave him a treat for doing so. It’s nice to be nice.
 
dougpeg said:
It's a bugbear of mine too. Personally I do thank drivers where practical but don't understand the level of negatively for those who don't. You don't get the same criticism towards cyclists or walkers for example. It also doesn't take much imagination to think of number of reasons why taking your hands off the reins / handles is less than ideal. I don't understand why there is this expectation to be personally and regularly thanked for acting within the law.
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I don’t think it’s different? When I am driving and I stop for a walker or cyclist to cross in front of me or if I wait behind them when it’s not safe to pass, they usually thank me.

Horses usually require more space to pass safely, and more time when crossing etc so I think as riders, we ask for courtesy from drivers more often and are more aware of it.

I don’t always take my hands off the reins to thank someone, I nod my head or make eye contact and smile and mouth ‘thank you’ if I can’t take my hands off the reins or call ‘thank you’ if I think they can hear me.
 
LadyGascoyne said:
I don’t think it’s different? When I am driving and I stop for a walker or cyclist to cross in front of me or if I wait behind them when it’s not safe to pass, they usually thank me.
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Hmm, I do feel there is a difference in expectation. Yes, it’s nice when walkers or cyclists say thank you, but if you stopped for one / gave one a wide berth and they didn’t thank you, would you drive away muttering under your breath like it seems many drivers do if a rider doesn’t thank them?
I do feel that there is more pressure on riders to thank drivers than there is on other vulnerable road users.

I am an effusive thanker so it doesn’t really effect me, but I do note the variation in expectation.
 
little_critter said:
Hmm, I do feel there is a difference in expectation. Yes, it’s nice when walkers or cyclists say thank you, but if you stopped for one / gave one a wide berth and they didn’t thank you, would you drive away muttering under your breath like it seems many drivers do if a rider doesn’t thank them?
I do feel that there is more pressure on riders to thank drivers than there is on other vulnerable road users.

I am an effusive thanker so it doesn’t really effect me, but I do note the variation in expectation.
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If I stopped for a walker and they didn’t thank me, I would think that was rude. I’d probably chalk it up to them having a bad day and I’m not a huge mutterer but I would think it was rude.
 
Maybe there is something about social norms in it too.

We had thanking people drilled into us at school. We were expected to greet every adult we passed, open doors and wait for adults, and to thank everyone who waited for us to cross the road at the crossing. My husband’s school is the same. I think maybe if it’s trained into you when you’re on the ground, then when I’m on a horse it’s already there.
 
LadyGascoyne said:
We had thanking people drilled into us at school. We were expected to greet every adult we passed, open doors and wait for adults, and to thank everyone who waited for us to cross the road at the crossing.
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I had that education too. Not only from school but from adults in the family and especially grandparents.

This was in the days when a factory would shut down for two weeks each year and during that time maintenance work would be done. In Sheffield, that would mean thousands of workers would all go to the same seaside towns during the same two weeks while the refractory linings of the furnaces would be replaced or repaired.

And so holidaymakers in Scarborough for the last week of July and first week of August were obviously from Sheffield, no need to even hear their accent.

"Everybody knows you're from Sheffield, we don't want the people here thinking that Sheffield people are rude; be on your best behaviour."

I grew up thinking that adults were all like my grandparents: patient, kind, considerate and worthy of respect.

Then as a teenager I began to see that most adults were impatient, aggressive, petty and spiteful.

So from the adult me they get a bit of courtesy to grease the wheels of social interaction. But at the first grain of sand that they throw in, they get nothing more.

You've had a bad day? Ok. But it's not my fault so keep it to yourself. You're running late, so don't want to stop at the zebra crossing? That's also not my fault so don't threaten to kill me by revving your engine or accelerating towards me.

And don't aggravate the offense by a disingenuous fake apology "oh, I didn't see you"... Yeah, that's because you were studiously avoiding eye contact by looking at your phone.
 
I do always try to thank drivers that have passed slowly or waited , even if its just a nod or smile and make an effort not to hold them up where I can. We have lady that rides along the single lane track ( with passing points) which I drive up to the stables . I too get a bit frustrated when she doesnt acknowledge a vehicle behind and makes no effort to pull in to allow me / them to drive past ( her horse is really well behaved on the road) and often think how a non rider could be annoyed .
 
Anything to encourage drivers to continue to pass wide and slow I'm happy to do - though sometimes I nod rather than lift a hand if my horse is being particularly bouncy!
 
anglo said:
I do always try to thank drivers that have passed slowly or waited , even if its just a nod or smile and make an effort not to hold them up where I can. We have lady that rides along the single lane track ( with passing points) which I drive up to the stables . I too get a bit frustrated when she doesnt acknowledge a vehicle behind and makes no effort to pull in to allow me / them to drive past ( her horse is really well behaved on the road) and often think how a non rider could be annoyed .
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I don't understand why anyone would want a car behind them any longer than necessary. I much prefer to pull in to a safe spot and let people get on their way, than have them lurking around behind me!
 
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