Thanking Drivers

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Boots*McGruber

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What do you all do when a driver passes too fast or too close, or both? I try to be as polite and considerate as possible on the roads, mainly to keep my horse safe but also as a I’m a driver myself, so I aim to thank those that pass wide and slow. However should we be thanking people that don’t? I’m sure most people don’t do it on purpose and they think that they’ve slowed down enough. However perhaps if theydon’t get a thank you they don’t bother to slow down at all next time. Interested to hear people’s thoughts 🤔
 
I thank anyone who I think has made an effort, even if they were still really too fast and / or too close (as I tend to assume that's through ignorance). I also thank the ones who are profoundly unhelpful, dithering around and not going past when it's safe to do so, waiting in a gateway and annoying other drivers etc - again because at least they're trying, even if they're actually not helping at all! I always appreciate the effort. I also thank every driver in a queue who has waited politely to overtake. I probably look like a nutter but I think it's important to encourage / reward considerate behaviour.

....I sound like a primary school teacher don't I?!

ETA I just ignore bad driving now. I have reported to the police in the past, with numberplates (best one was the car who drove up right behind me, slowed down, and leaned on the horn to frighten my horse), but unless you have video they can't do anything except write a strongly worded letter. The car in question also had no MOT but apparently that didn't count for anything because he had to be allowed a "grace period". FFS. And I can't figure out how to wear a decent camera at the same time as my air jacket. I don't want to put one on my hat - I'm a wonky enough rider as it is.
 
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Widgeon said:
I thank anyone who I think has made an effort, even if they were still really too fast and / or too close (as I tend to assume that's through ignorance). I also thank the ones who are profoundly unhelpful, dithering around and not going past when it's safe to do so, waiting in a gateway and annoying other drivers etc - again because at least they're trying, even if they're actually not helping at all! I always appreciate the effort. I also thank every driver in a queue who has waited politely to overtake. I probably look like a nutter but I think it's important to encourage / reward considerate behaviour.

....I sound like a primary school teacher don't I?!

ETA I just ignore bad driving now. I have reported to the police in the past, with numberplates (best one was the car who drove up right behind me, slowed down, and leaned on the horn to frighten my horse), but unless you have video they can't do anything except write a strongly worded letter. The car in question also had no MOT but apparently that didn't count for anything because he had to be allowed a "grace period". FFS. And I can't figure out how to wear a decent camera at the same time as my air jacket. I don't want to put one on my hat - I'm a wonky enough rider as it is.
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Blimey, can’t believe someone would deliberately do that! So dangerous.
 
I asked this question when Alan Hiscox, safety guy at the BHS, held a talk locally. He said: 'thank them and then report them.'

But as Widgeon says, without video evidence there is little the police can or will do. The police were there too and did stress how keen they were for people to report incidents (even better, with video evidence), and the BHS is keen that incidents - any kind - is reported to them as it helps build up numbers and gives them something to back them up if they try to do something about safety on the roads.
 
teacups said:
I asked this question when Alan Hiscox, safety guy at the BHS, held a talk locally. He said: 'thank them and then report them.'

But as Widgeon says, without video evidence there is little the police can or will do. The police were there too and did stress how keen they were for people to report incidents (even better, with video evidence), and the BHS is keen that incidents - any kind - is reported to them as it helps build up numbers and gives them something to back them up if they try to do something about safety on the roads.
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Thanks, that’s really helpful. I don’t want to discourage those that have sort of made an effort but maybe don’t know just how slow they should go and are essentially still putting us in danger. I might get a hatcam too.
 
Boots*McGruber said:
Thanks, that’s really helpful. I don’t want to discourage those that have sort of made an effort but maybe don’t know just how slow they should go and are essentially still putting us in danger. I might get a hatcam too.
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If they dont know how slow then they really shouldnt be driving as it is in the highway code 😂😂
 
I wave and smile at the ones who attempt to pass sensibly, however you count an attempt, and I glower angrily at the twats who pass at 40mph and clench my hands on the reins to resist giving them the middle finger.

My favourite drivers? The ones barrelling towards you at 30/40mph who respond to your slow-down signal with a cheery wave and don’t slow down at all. Really?????
 
I'd always thank people, it would annoy me even when I used to ride when id encounter those who didn't acknowledge there was a car behind them, made no move to thank me for going past them slowly, and often weren't in hi viz. So knowing how annoying it is I always thanked them via hand signal. If they'd made a big effort e.g. pulled in/a biker turned their engine off, I'd verbally thank them as well.

I'd also trot to a passing place if I had a car come up behind me
 
For those that slow down they get a big smile and wave. If they stop their vehicle I will say thank you. I’m sure they get the gist even through the windows. I shake my head at people going very fast and just look at those going too fast. I must start wearing my hat cam.
 
There was another thread on this subject.

I thank the ones that slow and give me space. Whether a nod of a wave depends on if I can take a hand of a rein safely (young ponies).

On a slightly different subject. I'm revising for my C1 theory at the moment. I've not come across one question relating to horses or cyclists. A few about pedestrians in built up area's but that's it. It really shocked me.
 
The OP on the other thread had a different question, which was (from memory) roughly along the lines of 'why is there an expectation that horse riders should thank drivers whereas that same expectation is not there for cyclists or pedestrians'. Drivers will rant about inconsiderate horse riders not thanking them for slowing down, but would not rant about an inconsiderate pedestrian not thanking them on a pelican crossing. That sort of thing.

That thread became more of a discussion along the lines of 'why should I bother thanking drivers when they are only doing what the law says they should do', I think. And the general consensus was that it's worth thanking drivers as it encourages them to continue to be/become considerate drivers in the future (again, roughly my impression).
 
Widgeon said:
I thank anyone who I think has made an effort, even if they were still really too fast and / or too close (as I tend to assume that's through ignorance). I also thank the ones who are profoundly unhelpful, dithering around and not going past when it's safe to do so, waiting in a gateway and annoying other drivers etc - again because at least they're trying, even if they're actually not helping at all! I always appreciate the effort. I also thank every driver in a queue who has waited politely to overtake. I probably look like a nutter but I think it's important to encourage / reward considerate behaviour.

....I sound like a primary school teacher don't I?!

ETA I just ignore bad driving now. I have reported to the police in the past, with numberplates (best one was the car who drove up right behind me, slowed down, and leaned on the horn to frighten my horse), but unless you have video they can't do anything except write a strongly worded letter. The car in question also had no MOT but apparently that didn't count for anything because he had to be allowed a "grace period". FFS. And I can't figure out how to wear a decent camera at the same time as my air jacket. I don't want to put one on my hat - I'm a wonky enough rider as it is.
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Pretty much this for me, too. I report drivers who have brushed past me using the BHS app. Fortunately only once reported an aggressive driver and that was 30 years ago, when I lived in a town. Since then I did have a go at one who brushed my leg then stopped at the village shop, but had to abandon my rant as he really didn't have any idea (was old and seemed completely confused and unaware). I always regret not reporting that one for everyone's safety, but I was too shocked and angry to take his plate and he'd gone when I passed on the way home.
 
If going to fast I used a slow down gesture, if going to fast and far to narrow to pass safely I do a stop gesture. Many drivers interpret this as thank you I'll pass it would seem. There is a distinct lack of awareness of hand gestures.

I do a terse thank you if I'm not happy and an enthusiastic mouthed thank you and a thumbs up to those who pass properly/ stop especially those who drive for work and local farmers etc.

I'm still fuming about the women who wound her window down to tell me off for not thanking her fast enough... 🤷 I thanked her after manoeuvring into a drive way after she was thoroughly unhelpful and impatient and then got an earful about how it's important to thank drivers.
 
I always make a point of saying thank you and also popping my hand up to those who pass sensibly, if I ask them to slow and they speed up or stop I shake my head at them and point to my hat to show I'm recording.

I had one driver who was screaming blue murder at me, saying how he was going to kill my horse and stab me, how I'm breaking his back by riding him and he was aggressively shunting his car towards me and my horse - luckily an old couple who lived in the house saw the whole incident unfold and got on the blower to the cops, who rocked up sharpish and gave him a stern talking to! I've no idea what possessed him to loose his rag - the irony being that I was saying thank you for him slowing down for my horse and I to cross the road.... bizarre doesn't begin to cover it.....sadly never managed to get my horse back down that part of the road where the incident happened......
 
Cloball said:
If going to fast I used a slow down gesture, if going to fast and far to narrow to pass safely I do a stop gesture. Many drivers interpret this as thank you I'll pass it would seem. There is a distinct lack of awareness of hand gestures.

I do a terse thank you if I'm not happy and an enthusiastic mouthed thank you and a thumbs up to those who pass properly/ stop especially those who drive for work and local farmers etc.

I'm still fuming about the women who wound her window down to tell me off for not thanking her fast enough... 🤷 I thanked her after manoeuvring into a drive way after she was thoroughly unhelpful and impatient and then got an earful about how it's important to thank drivers.
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I had a lady pull up alongside and wind her window down to complain we hadn’t thanked her. Ridiculous and utterly dangerous. If she’d stayed out wide and continued on past she’d had had a nod and wave. I’m not in the habit of thanking people before they’ve done the thing I’d thank them for. The only exception is if there is traffic behind that has had to slow down and wait for a bit because of oncoming vehicles and I might thank them before they’ve actually passed. However, on this occasion we were in traffic that was moving and passing us without having to wait. Some people are just looking for an excuse to get angry.
 
I recently had an incident out riding where a woman driving a council access bus pushed through a space barely large enough for one car — she should have waited for me to pass safely, as the parked cars on her side of the road meant it was too narrow and the only place for me to go would have been the footpath. Instead she drove towards us. I was to the right of the driver’s side as she passed, close enough for the bus to touch my toe if I had turned it out.

It completely freaked out my 4-year-old and it boxed us in. He darted left straight onto and over the footpath and up a very steep driveway, which was wet and lethally slippy with those shiny black brick pavers. He nearly went down and my heart was in my mouth.

My face will have been very much a picture of shock, outrage and WTF. What did she do? Stuck her tongue out at me and carried on. I screamed/swore in the general direction of the bus as she drove away… She just did not care or seem to grasp that she’d nearly killed me. She had plenty of time to
stop/wait and we were wearing hiviz etc. Sadly and frustratingly been having problems since with him napping and spinning on the roads 🫠
 
KatieDM said:
I recently had an incident out riding where a woman driving a council access bus pushed through a space barely large enough for one car — she should have waited for me to pass safely, as the parked cars on her side of the road meant it was too narrow and the only place for me to go would have been the footpath. Instead she drove towards us. I was to the right of the driver’s side as she passed, close enough for the bus to touch my toe if I had turned it out.

It completely freaked out my 4-year-old and it boxed us in. He darted left straight onto and over the footpath and up a very steep driveway, which was wet and lethally slippy with those shiny black brick pavers. He nearly went down and my heart was in my mouth.

My face will have been very much a picture of shock, outrage and WTF. What did she do? Stuck her tongue out at me and carried on. I screamed/swore in the general direction of the bus as she drove away… She just did not care or seem to grasp that she’d nearly killed me. She had plenty of time to
stop/wait and we were wearing hiviz etc. Sadly and frustratingly been having problems since with him napping and spinning on the roads 🫠
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I hope you reported her atrocious driving to her employer and the police.
 
Pearlsasinger said:
I hope you reported her atrocious driving to her employer and the police.
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Honestly, in the moment I didn’t get the registration. I could have used the date, time and location to narrow it down and report to the council but, with no camera or footage, it just felt like it would be pointless. I did report it as an incident to BHS for their research. It was just before Christmas.
 
KatieDM said:
Honestly, in the moment I didn’t get the registration. I could have used the date, time and location to narrow it down and report to the council but, with no camera or footage, it just felt like it would be pointless. I did report it as an incident to BHS for their research. It was just before Christmas.
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I would still do this. If it's anything other than a private vehicle it's always worth reporting to the business / authority who owns it. It makes them look really bad which is an incentive for them to do something about it.
 
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