Thanking others when out hacking

Beachbabe

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22 October 2019
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104
I always ride by myself now, but back in the day when my daughter came out with me, we both used to thank traffic, dog owners and generally greet everyone we met with a cheery hello, wave or whatever was appropriate.
However, I have noticed of late that when passing horses, riders are not acknowledging my presence. In the last couple of months I have had several incidences when I have had to wait for riders who are clearly overhorsed to sort themselves out by getting off for example. I've sat and waited ages whilst someone walked their horse towards me. I assumed that they were on light work and not able to trot, but when they had passed me, they trotted off! So why not trot towards me, even if they have to walk past? Just good manners not to hold up the traffic. No acknowledgement, just behaving as tho it's their right to own the road. I've waited whilst teenagers have tried to sort their horses out, even when a horse almost reversed into me at one point even though I was miles back from her. I then went out for a ride with someone else who I vaguely knew and I was appalled. She refused to recognise anyone else she met, and only spoke to one person to make some crass comment about her horse. I was just sooooooooo embarrassed. No wonder so many people think we are stuck up and rude. Needless to say, I have not ridden out with her again and I won't.
We all have to share the countryside and the roads together, being pleasant is so much nicer than this :(
 

Nudibranch

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I think it is a lot worse than it used to be. And it's not all riders who can't take their hands off the reins at that moment in time. I don't take my youngsters out until I am confident I can take one hand off the reins whenever I need to.

A yard local to me has at least two riders who are incredibly ignorant. One is overhorsed and clearly terrified of it. I've posted about it before but I stopped with my trailer while her horse jumped all over the road. She was too busy putting her hand up in a stop gesture to notice I had already stopped some time ago. Not so much as a nod for waiting patiently while she got her horse under control. The same rider passed me on the road while I was quietly walking my dog and young son some 30 metres away in woods. Next thing she bellows, "Can you just stand still?!" at us. I was too surprised to come back at her but a suitable reply would have been along the lines of "Sort your horse out before riding on the roads if it's that sharp!"...or even more suitable perhaps - buy yourself something you can actually ride.

I'm fairly fed up of rude and ignorant riders tbh. I always make the effort to thank drivers who slow down but far from everyone does.
 

Lintel

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Would agree.

It gives rider such a terrible name and doesn't encourage people to slow down... In fact does quite the opposite.

Understandably sometimes it isn't safe for everyone to take your hand off the reins but a friendly nod never goes a miss.

... I'm the rider who's right arm is bloody killing then by the end of the ride from waving 😂
 

Beachbabe

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22 October 2019
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I had a friendly tractor driver with his trailer stop and reverse up a country lane the other day so that I had plenty of room to pass. I thanked him profusely and said that actually he didn't have to as mine was fine with tractors, but thanks anyway. On the other side of the coin I've had riders coming back from rides complaining that tractors are being driven up bridleways so that they can access their fields, and the poor riders had had to turn round to go back to a space because their horses were scared of tractors and there wasn't enough room for them. Do they not realise the poor driver was actually working and this time of year they are very busy? I despair.
 

Antw23uk

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I stood to one side with my husband and the dog a few days ago to let two riders pass us and the rider at the front blanked us and if it hadnt been for the second rider thanking us i would have given her a mouthful for being so damn rude, I was furious!
 

sherry90

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20 November 2012
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I thank every car that passes (can get a bit tedious when there’s a few but I still do) by a wave if safe to do so. If he’s feeling particularly fresh or spooky I keep both hands on the reins and nod. If a car is up coming and unable to pass, I will trot on to the nearest gap, wait and thank. If I car stops ahead I will trot up to the car and then walk, pass and thank.
 

AUB

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8 April 2019
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116
I always give a wave to drivers and greet walkers, bikers and other riders in our woods.
There are many horses in my area and most riders are super-nice and will greet you and wish you happy hacking or something similar. There are a few teenagers that ride like someone’s chasing them and never greet anyone or slow down, but everyone else are great.
 

scruffyponies

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We thank everyone, say hello, give a cheery wave and all that. BUT, this is our choice. It's not an obligation. Nobody expects pedestrians to grin and wave at each other, or cyclists to apologise for their very presence. It's a poor show when you can't be lost in your own thoughts without someone calling you out for some perceived social slight. So you moved out of the way / passed wide / slowed down a little. Big deal. What do you want; a medal?
 

Cowpony

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To be fair, it's not just riders. I have quite a long walk to our current field and there is a pavement and a grass verge along most of the road. Most people I meet on the way to and from the field are polite, but the runners! Oh, the runners. I will always go on the grass or into the road to get out of the way, as I have yard boots on and they have expensive trainers, and I get that they might not have enough breath to say thank you or good morning, but they could at least nod or smile. Just some sort of acknowledgement that I've looked out for them and made sure we were both able to pass safely......
 

Wishfilly

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We thank everyone, say hello, give a cheery wave and all that. BUT, this is our choice. It's not an obligation. Nobody expects pedestrians to grin and wave at each other, or cyclists to apologise for their very presence. It's a poor show when you can't be lost in your own thoughts without someone calling you out for some perceived social slight. So you moved out of the way / passed wide / slowed down a little. Big deal. What do you want; a medal?
I do agree with this to an extent. I can't remember the last time a cyclist thanked me, but I still pass them safely, and I'm patient if I need to wait to pass- because a) I'm a decent human being and b) that's what the highway code says drivers should do.

I don't think driver behaviour should be contingent on them being thanked every time.

I do thank drivers or other road users who have really made an effort/waited/passed very wide/slow, and I say hello to other riders/pedestrians, but I don't think this is a requirement to be treated well on the roads.

All the riders I have met around here recently when driving have been very courteous- trotted on to passing places, thanked me and so on.
 

huskydamage

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23 October 2012
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I always try to say hello to everyone I pass and thank drivers but I'm sorry to say the new thing Ive experiened is drivers yelling abuse at me out their windows as they pass because they think I haven't 'thanked' them. They didn't see me do it (I guess 🤔) or I didn't thank them quick enough for their liking? or because I did not mind read a weird manoeuvre had something to do with me, or they practically took my foot off 😂
I get the need to be thanked and polite aspect but I personally don't watch people for thanks when I pass them when driving, I concentrate on the road and don't do it to be thanked, I do it because its safe! I cetainly would never dream of yelling abuse at someone esp on a horse on a road, which might spook.
Sorry I have got on a bit of rant there 🙄 but just something on the flipside I have noticed recently.
 

MyBoyChe

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My horse and I have built up quite a following on our regular weekend routes :) We always speak to everyone we meet, dog walkers, cyclists, runners, walkers etc and even have one lady who we meet who always carries a carrot with her just in case! Im just starting to take my granddaughter and her pony out and explained to her that most people like to see ponies and like to say hello, so be prepared to be polite, answer their questions and always smile and say Hi. She found it a bit odd at first but now happily chats away answering questions and smiling. I hate bad manners, it costs nothing to smile and be polite
 

Antw23uk

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We thank everyone, say hello, give a cheery wave and all that. BUT, this is our choice. It's not an obligation. Nobody expects pedestrians to grin and wave at each other, or cyclists to apologise for their very presence. It's a poor show when you can't be lost in your own thoughts without someone calling you out for some perceived social slight. So you moved out of the way / passed wide / slowed down a little. Big deal. What do you want; a medal?
Some form of acknowledgement would be nice. Its called being polite when someone has acted kindly towards making your ride a nicer and safer experience.
 

Polos Mum

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I always say thanks with a wave - even to those who fly past at 70 mph (in 50 zone) while they are on their phones !! I hope it makes them at least wonder what I'm thanking them for.

I even get some enthusiastically wave back, when mine is obviously a sarcastic wave - morons

I mouth thank you when I can't take hand off or very obviously dip my head at them - 80% of drivers are lovely the 20% are dangerous. (pre lockdown it was 90% nice - but the virus has made everyone angry / anxious)
 

huskydamage

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On a weekend when there are a lot of tourists about I feel like the Queen waving at everybody as they pass :D How heavy does the traffic have to be before you can stop waving at everybody that doesn't pass you at 60mph.
Unfortunately I have a ride on some horrible roads and I just cant wave at them all or I'd never have 2 hands on the reins. I do a continous head bob instead...
 

Nudibranch

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We thank everyone, say hello, give a cheery wave and all that. BUT, this is our choice. It's not an obligation. Nobody expects pedestrians to grin and wave at each other, or cyclists to apologise for their very presence. It's a poor show when you can't be lost in your own thoughts without someone calling you out for some perceived social slight. So you moved out of the way / passed wide / slowed down a little. Big deal. What do you want; a medal?
It may not be an obligation but as riders we cause more obstruction than anyone else, and it's generally the most obstructive riders with ill behaved mounts that are most likely not to thank others for slowing/stopping/making allowances in my experience. If you meet another car on a narrow lane, and they pull over/reverse back, do you thank them? I sincerely hope so. Why is riding any different. Simple manners, and making life easier and safer for others in the future hopefully by not giving us all a bad name.
I'm also not convinced being "lost in your thoughts" while riding on the road is a good idea either. Off road, whatever. As a road user you are obliged to ride safely and consider others.
 

Wishfilly

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It may not be an obligation but as riders we cause far more obstruction than anyone else, and it's generally the most obstructive riders with ill behaved mounts that are most likely not to thank others for slowing/stopping/making allowances. If you meet another car on a narrow lane, and they pull over/reverse back, do you thank them? I sincerely hope so. Why is riding any different. Simple manners, and making life easier and safer for others in the future hopefully by not giving us all a bad name.
I disagree with this, actually. Maybe it's just where I'm based but you mostly only meet riders on quiet back lanes where most people would not be going at any great speed anyway. Generally there are enough passing places that the rider can trot on to one, and you can pass easily.

I'm far more likely to be held up, especially on faster roads, by cyclists- who never pull over and let traffic past either, even when they have queue of 10+ cars behind them on a 50mph speed limit road. I probably spend just as much time slowing down for pedestrians as I do for riders.

I agree that it is good manners to thank people, but I really don't think having the idea that the good behaviour of drivers is dependent on being thanked is helpful or healthy. Drivers should drive safely because it is the right thing to do. Riders should thank them because it is polite.
 

sam72431

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Hampshire
Even if my horse is being stupid I always say thank you probably excessively slow that being said if ever I am driving and I don't get a thank you I do shout out the window thank you as it really gets on my nerves and I am sure it is why some drivers then won't bother to slow down potentially causing a problem if I get a thank you I wave back and smile
 

DabDab

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We thank everyone, say hello, give a cheery wave and all that. BUT, this is our choice. It's not an obligation. Nobody expects pedestrians to grin and wave at each other, or cyclists to apologise for their very presence. It's a poor show when you can't be lost in your own thoughts without someone calling you out for some perceived social slight. So you moved out of the way / passed wide / slowed down a little. Big deal. What do you want; a medal?
This. I always thank people, trot to pass, pull into gateways/up a bank/wedged into a hedge to allow people to pass, but this incessant need for drivers to be thanked for not ploughing into other road users is irritating.

Driving a car completely unimpeded whenever, wherever is not actually a human right.
 

magicmoments

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29 August 2014
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I try and thank everyone that I think has slowed down because of me, by nodding my head and smiling, but due to the amount of traffic I'm sure I miss some. When I'm in the country park I smile and acknowledge most people, but do you know what, sometimes I just want to concentrate and me and my horse when I'm not on a road. If I walk in the same area I don't feel the need to be so overwhelmingly nice. Sometimes I think the general public think you are public property and I must admit I got very annoyed when one particular man shouted that I must be deaf as I didn't acknowledge his daughter saying hello when they were the other side of the path (by chance, not being courteous) and level with me, so not in my sight as I was looking forward . I mean does his daughter say hello to everyone who passes. I very much doubt. I just ignored him, otherwise I would have told him exactly what I thought. Afterwards I had to negotiate a busy road and would be thanking many drivers on my way back.
 

HashRouge

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Manchester
Even if my horse is being stupid I always say thank you probably excessively slow that being said if ever I am driving and I don't get a thank you I do shout out the window thank you as it really gets on my nerves and I am sure it is why some drivers then won't bother to slow down potentially causing a problem if I get a thank you I wave back and smile
That is so ridiculously passive aggressive. It's not actually an obligation for riders to say thank you to you - and I'm fairly sure that the idiot drivers who don't slow down wouldn't slow down regardless of whether people thanked them or not. Also, does it not occur to people that sometimes you might just have missed the rider saying thank you? Like if they raise their hand or nod and smile once the front part of the car (i.e. where you are sitting) has passed them then you could easily miss it, likewise if they do it at a moment when you are focused on the road ahead and looking out for oncoming traffic. I don't know about you guys, but I don't overtake horse riders whilst constantly staring at them - I try to focus on the road and the position of my car.
 

Widgeon

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Unfortunately I have a ride on some horrible roads and I just cant wave at them all or I'd never have 2 hands on the reins. I do a continous head bob instead...
Ha yes I can empathise with this - where we are traffic tends to build up into a stream behind the slowest car on the lanes. When that car then catches up with us on horses, we're overtaken by between two and six cars at once. By the time they've all gone past I feel like the queen, waving, smiling, head bobbing like a numpty :rolleyes: Most of the drivers seem to appreciate it though, they usually hold up a hand or smile back, so it's worth doing.
 

pansymouse

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I'm another serial thanker - having good manners is very important to me. If I can't take a hand off the reins I will do an exaggerated nod and as I wear a hi viz band on my hat that's very clear. If someone behaves badly or dangerously I will do a thumbs down; no need to yell or be rude, just let them know their behaviour falls short.

My mare is very scared of trials bikes after some frankly terrifying incidents on Salisbury Plain with illegal under aged riders and now I'm very effusive with my thanks to the kind and considerate adult riders who have gone out of their way to help her control her fears.
 

Pedantic

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I say good morning to walkers joggers dog walkers cyclist, sometime stop for a chat, and thank drivers, but it gets a bit tedious when you just want to have a quiet ride on your own, and not sure why it's expected for us to thank drivers continuously for driving "correctly" when passing us, cyclist very rarely do, or move over into a space to let a backlog of cars pass them when holding them up, seems this smiley wavey arse lickey thing is only expected of us, it's got worse since more people have started going out with covid, roll on winter when they all crawl back under their rocks, hopefully.
 
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