That bond.

J

JinglebellJessi & MistletoeMagic

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Hello (:

I've been thinking about this over the last month, deciding whether i'd post about it or not. Well here goes lovelies.

Anyone who goes over my previous posts will see i had a newforest pony, then bought an appaloosa x. Last year on november 9th my beloved pony lost his life to bowel cancer. He was my one. I can't put into word how much i loved him and he wasn't even mine. I'd only know him 2 years.

Anyway. I now have my Appaloosa X Newforest mare Kyra. But we just don't have that bond. I don't dote on her or fret much. With magic i'd constantly dream, have nightmares and look for ways to improve his living. he was honestly all i ever thought about. but my mare, nothing. I obviously care for her (feed, vet, feet. ect), but i don't feel like we get on at all.

Has anyone else had this experience or do you love every horse you've ever had? or am I just strange?
 
I had a little sect DX mare that I loved dearly and she had hormone problems so vet advised to breed from her, she was put to a TB stallion and eleven months later we had a little filly that I thought I would dote on as she was the daughter of my beloved little mare. I never got on with the foal, don't know why just never clicked. I still have her, she is now rising 20 and she will stay with me until the day she dies but there is a definate love, hate relationship between us. I love her because she is mine but I don't really like her very much if you know what I mean. I would never part with her though.:confused:
 
I know that feeling, I have had 1 of mine coming on 2yrs & just can't get that *click*. We seem to take 2 steps forward 10 steps back at the moment I love him dearly, but just can't get that bond :(. My other boy I have had just over 7yrs & we have a strong bond, so I hope I can get a simialr bond soon.
 
I have the same thing with my appy x. After 19yrs with the same pony, the one who taught me everything, helped me grow up and shared my teen years at the top of our game, I know I'll always compare others to him. It will never be the same, but I can't ever expect either of mine to be anything like my old boy. I guess as we grow up and change, develop new insecurities and/or fears, the things that were so familiar about that one in a million become history.

I suppose it's a bit like your first love. Now my mind's wandering back to all those adventures. I miss him but I know he's making another teenage girl very happy these days and he'll never leave her. I envy her that, but it's what's best for him :)
 
I had 2, a mare and a gelding... I didnt gel with the mare at all but doted on my gelding (had mare first) in the end I sold the mare and didnt even realise how much I didnt like her untill she had gone!
Still have my boy and Im so lucky to have such a wonderful horse! :) I fell in love with him as soon as I set eyes on him as he stepped off the lorry onto the yard :)
I didnt think I would ever find another that I would bond with after I lost my black boy but I can honestly say I have a very similar bond to my boy now then I did with my black one... though he will always have a special place in my heart.
 
I've got a mare and have a great bond with her. It did take about a year though.

She had a number of issues like nervous of vehicles, headshy when bridling, fear of hosepipes (fear of lots of stuff!). I found getting a good bond is through trust, praise and doing fun stuff together. She loves back scratches too!

Don't get me wrong tho, I'm not soft with her, she still knows I'm in charge:)
 
Mares are GREAT when you have them onside, I've had mine 5 years now and love everything about her. Even though I was besotted on day one, it took her about 18 months to show me a little bit of "like". I guess we'll just continue with this onsided relationship until we're both in our dotage.
 
I don't think I have it with any of mine to be honest. They can take me or leave me. There are 2 mares that I am exceptionally fond of but I am just the bringer of food onthe whole. The times they seem to want me most are when they are foaling.

I had a very strong bond with my poufter of an Arab gelding, but he still wouldn't go through water, even for me.
 
Cortez said:
I've had literally hundreds of horses (ex-pro trainer; breeder, etc): some you loves, some you don't.
Click to expand...

I not had hundreds but lots and that's it in a nutshell you don't have that special thing with all of them , but it does not mean you can't have loads of fun with them and give them a great life.
 
I've loved my lad since I first saw him, just knew he was for me, problem is, he gets so nasty with jealousy, even when out with my OH, his ears are back and has his grumpy face (horse, not OH) and if OH and I hold hands while hacking my lad goes on his toes so I need two hands, he doesn't do this when hacking with my daughter, he threatens my OH's mare when I do them both, he's fine if OH does his horse. He just seems to want it to be me and him, OH has said I would take him to bed with us if I could (not true, he would fidget). Both horses are the first and last thing I think about each day
 
Appy's are very sensetive IME and if she doesn't think you like her, then she will not like you. If you find a way to start liking each other, then she will probably end up the most loyal friend you have ever, or will ever have. They take a while to settle (up to two years), when they decide they own you, then you are well and truely owned :D
 
I have 3, one of them i have a bond with and its great, then theres the shetland who i love to bits and love having her around, she makes me laugh every day but we don't have a bond so much, I like her and she just likes any one who will give her a hug or carrot shes not bothered who it is.

And finally theres the ASBO pony, who often has me muttering about dog food and men with guns, I love him but i don't very often like him and often find myself looking at him in the field wishing he wasn't there, he would do anything for my ex husband that if i asked him to do would have resulted in a gymnastic display and much waving of feet over my head.We seem to have reached an understanding lately and can now be civil to each other most of the time. The time we get on best is when hes done something stupid like jump out of his field again, or got his head stuck in his haynet then he behaves perfectly because he has no choice he needs me if he wants to get back to his mate or extricate his head.

I think it all comes down to trust the one i have the bond with and the shetland i trust completely but the asbo pony I dont trust at all and so he doesn't trust me either and so we go round and round in circles. For some reason he isn't too keen on women hes a mans pony.
 
to every horse you can have a bond but every will be different

I have done everything to made that bond stronger

trust your horse show him that you are trusting him

I do always exercises to build it up ground work is very helpful in this time

an example is If you have a round pen or simlar take the horse take two carrots close the gate if you are both in and leave him alone you sit in the middle with the carrot and if he comes he going down with his head then take your other hand to touch him and talk to him that you love it when you're together that you repeat as often as you like then you will see that the respect from both sides came up and he will see that you are not the person which comes only to feed to groom to ride for the essential things
he sees that he is important sometimes it is good to go uncommon ways

It gives many ways to build a bond it depends if your heart is open for that

Greets
Daniela
 
Took 2 years with mine. I was only planning on keeping him 2 years! But then we 'clicked' after 18 months of trying to turn him into a dressage horse - fighting, bad manners, him throwing me off and me getting injured. I couldn't sell him until I got my confidence back so joined RC and began having lots of fun with him, working out what he liked to do (not dressage) and enjoying being with a happy horse. I think he realised it was much easier and more fun for him if he was with me rather than against me. Since then he's been a superstar and will go anywhere for me, I really trust him now. He knows how I am feeling, he even consoles me if I am sad. So I kept him!
 
6 months is no time at all :) It took over 12mths to cement it with my boy - I've had a few comments the past month or so regarding how well we work together now, it's made it all worthwhile!
 
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