The annoying child - How to deal with this ? Calling all parents

weebarney said:
This is one of the downsides to having your horses near civilisation. I'm glad there is no one living near my horses as I really wouldn't want to be in this awkward situation either.
I too was a pony mad child who would get into the field of any equine I could find and pretend it's my own.
It could be worse, a field we used to have came with a village of weirdos and one in particular who was very creepy would follow me round the field and turned up one day with a shot gun, me and my mam thought we were going to die!
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Hehe I nearly ran into a sleeping tramp on our driveway a few months ago. He was a nice tame sort though lol.

Re Pony mad girls. We had a wonderful 12yo that used to help with mine, she was very sensible and is still into horses in a big now she's grown up. I do think she was an exception though, most times if you let random kids help they prove to be a problem eventually, and often the parents have no idea of the risks involved with horses. I wouldn't put up with the op's situation, this kid seems to have trouble understanding boundaries and is most probably very bored rather than genuinely pony mad.
 
Sympathies OP, this would ruin my enjoyment completely too - and I have children! (well, one...) Letting random kids have a pat and a sit as a one off, or even occasionally is totally OK, but being pestered constantly is awful! I'm afraid eventually I would snap and ask her 'could you leave me alone please? I like peace and quiet when visiting MY horse!' or something. Then she would be completely ignored if she didn't!
 
Why not hunker down with this juvenile and explain like you would explain to anyone? I won't put words in your mouth OP (that's your job) but there is no reason not to be polite and assertive at the same time. No way should you feel bad because you don't want this child around. But some of this thread has been distasteful. If you (not directed at OP) regard children (next generation young adults) as fugly/or 'it' or the thought of someone being pregnant is daft or kids make you feel sick ... that's the kind of response I'd expect from adolescents, and yet some posters are castigating kids!
 
I have the same problem, only it is at my house. I have 2 of my own children, and thats great, but i am not great with other peoples children, frankly i dont like kids apart from my own.

These children nextdoor, have broken my fence by climbing on it to talk to me at EVERY opportunity, i cant even leave my house without all of them asking me where i am going. I have to go into my garden as quietly as i can or they just climb the fence and come in. They open my car door as soon as i arrive back to the house and some days even take my car keys out the ignition for me and no amount of no will make them stop, they just stare at me and carry on. They call thru my letter box at 6am in the morning and they are generally a nuisance. They never seem to be at school and its a real bug bear that when i have a break from my own children, i still have these little delights to answer constant questions too. Anyway getting to the point, i would say something to the parents now rather that later, the reason being you will probably end up saying something a little to harsh if it continues, like i did one sunday morning. My door bell had been ringing constantly at 6am, i tried ignoring it, but was getting increasing iritated by the fact i could hear the little delights mother just constantly saying to her daughter, dont ring the bell you will wake them up. After about 15 minutes i got out of bed and shouted out my bedroom window how angry i was that i have not had a lay in in over 6 months cos she is ALWAYS ringing my doorbell, and said something along the lines of how one day her grubby little finger would hit my door bell to find its been wired to the mains electric and would blow their chubby fingers off. Obviously i diidnt mean it, i was just really angry, now the parents make life difficult and the child is still not bothered and continues to be the main cause of stress in my life. It sounds mean but when someone rings the doorbell every day at 6am, and grizzles constantly all night you begin to loose your mind lol. So speak to the parents, and save loosing your rag. :)
 
Sarahg83 - That sounds like a horrible situation to be in. Have you thought about removing the doorbell, or at least disconnecting it, so you press the button and it doesn't ring?
 
This thread has made me feel uncomfortable.... My daughter has her own pony but we are on livery at a riding school.. She is egar to learn and constantly asking questions and asks to help groom/hose/ etc..to other liveries when she is done with her pony.. And no one has an issue with it but now thinking they don't like it but just being polite.
 
showpony said:
This thread has made me feel uncomfortable.... My daughter has her own pony but we are on livery at a riding school.. She is egar to learn and constantly asking questions and asks to help groom/hose/ etc..to other liveries when she is done with her pony.. And no one has an issue with it but now thinking they don't like it but just being polite.
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Perhaps ask them if they mind?
 
Sarahg83, you poor poor girl :( I'd go nuts if someone did this. How old is the child? Can you speak to her directly and tell her not to do it? How are the parents making life difficult? And why?! Idiots, frankly.

I can't believe people are still banging on about letting the child come up however ten. If someone had annoyed me today when I had an early finish and wanted to groom my horse to the nth degree, I would have gone ballistic.
 
cinnamontoast said:
Sarahg83, you poor poor girl :( I'd go nuts if someone did this. How old is the child? Can you speak to her directly and tell her not to do it? How are the parents making life difficult? And why?! Idiots, frankly.

I can't believe people are still banging on about letting the child come up however ten. If someone had annoyed me today when I had an early finish and wanted to groom my horse to the nth degree, I would have gone ballistic.
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I started politly, by just saying i was busy, but she just ignores you, then i stopped answering the door, or acting like she was not their, but she just continues anyway. If i say no she just looks at me with this blank face. I treated myself to a load of horsey lotions and potions one day and she wanted to help unpack the car, but i said no, that i wanted to leave it in the car to take to the yard, she ended up ignoring me like she always does and dropping it and the bottles all burst. All i got was a "woopsie" and off she went. The parents have started parking behind my car so i cant get out now, when i knock the door they say they cant move it they have had a drink, or dont bother to answer the door. They continue to let their children pester me, constantly. I dont understand why the child likes to talk to me, as i dont ever do anymore than schowl at her now, but still she continues to natter away and knock the door. If a tell her with a firm voice i just get spat at, and she runs home. We have considered moving, but then i feel i should t have too.
 
Sarah, that's awful! Can you speak to the council about them - even if they own their house they can't act like that?
 
Broke_But_Happy said:
Sarah, that's awful! Can you speak to the council about them - even if they own their house they can't act like that?
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My neighbour rings the police on a very regular basis, as he gets the same treatment, and it drives him just as crazy. The police dont care, and he is being driven demented. I dont even understand why the child speaks to him as he is a right old grump to her, but she does not care. He has had worse than me, the kids put stones up his exhaust and rammed them in with a stick at the parents request. Its a shame as all my neighbours are lovely, we all work hard for what we have and we treat each other well, and then theirs the neighbours next door who drive people mad, even people a few streets away complain about them.
 
Sarahg83, that is dreadful!

I'd also report to social services about the child. She's obviously not well looked after!
I had similar with a neighbours child, not as bad as you describe but it was very annoying and frankly quite odd. We haven't got a doorbell but she would knock on the door, a lot. 6am is not on! It's harassment at the end of the day.
I do feel for you.
 
Broke_But_Happy said:
Speak to the council instead of the police?
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Yeah i might do that, its driving me nuts now so i need to do something. This is why i sympathise with the OP. Its hard to get on with other people's children and its difficult to know how to set boundaries with a child who's parents you dont even know, especially if the child just carries on regardless.

I would be insane if i didnt have the yard as a escape route, that's the whole point in having a horse, to relax and enjoy yourself.

Far to many parents these days seem to rely on complete strangers to occupy their children, and its not fair. Especially if your not that keen on kids, which i am not, i like my own and i tolerate their friends but anything else and i dont want to know, their too noisy and ask way to many questions for my liking haha. But it is so hard to make boundaries with pushy kids, who just dont care if you reply or not. Gone are the days where children had respect for their elders!!
 
Sarah, your neighbours are antisocial, the child sounds like she needs professional help as her behaviour is beyond normal boundaries. The parents seem to back up their children's unacceptable behaviour.
Get the council or your MP involved, especially as your neighbours are also suffering from this family's behaviour.
 
OP I really do have great sympathy for you. The girl is probably not out to annoy you but the situation is awful. I too was a pony mad kid but never had the courage to enter someone's property and make a nuisance of myself. I used to watch from a distance and finally joined the "gang" at the local riding school where I learned so much and had some wonderful long rides along the Ridgeway in Wiltshire. The girl would be happier with kids of her own age and you could get some peace with your horses.
Sarah, I really feel for you and can only say what others have said, Social Services or the local council are your best bet. I hope you get it sorted out soon. Sounds like an absolute nightmare.
 
Srah,

I have had experience with a neighbour from hell & you need to get tough with the police. If they block you in give them 1 chance to move it then call the police - they are committing an offence. If the police are not taking your complaints seriously write to the Chief Constable (we found it very effective!). If the child isn't going to school phone the council education department. Do you have legal services on your house insurance - phone them.
 
Sarah83 that's horrendous, this is what happens when morons reproduce. Do you have a towbar on your car? If so I'd back straight into theirs when they park stupidly. Tell them also to keep their child away, if they don't then clip her bloody earhole when no ones about. In this country we are far too tolerant of the feckless and ignorant.
 
It seems to me that several on here should contact their local child care/protection services. The incidents may not appear very serious at this stage but annoyances can escalate as evidenced by the poor poster repeatedly woken by the bell ringing child eventually being driven to shout threats out of her bedroom window! I've always found the professionals very helpful as doing something justifies their existence and their job. It also puts the problem at arms length which is never a bad thing when dealing with neighbours.

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-we-do/the-work-we-do/adult-advice/advice-for-adults_wda72280.html
 
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Sarahg83 you need to contact police and social services asap. The kid's behaviour is abnormal. And make a fuss. Record everything. Also -see a lawyer. Ours gave me good advice when a neighbour's 11yo plagued me.
 
sarahg83 said:
I started politly, by just saying i was busy, but she just ignores you, then i stopped answering the door, or acting like she was not their, but she just continues anyway. If i say no she just looks at me with this blank face. I treated myself to a load of horsey lotions and potions one day and she wanted to help unpack the car, but i said no, that i wanted to leave it in the car to take to the yard, she ended up ignoring me like she always does and dropping it and the bottles all burst. All i got was a "woopsie" and off she went. The parents have started parking behind my car so i cant get out now, when i knock the door they say they cant move it they have had a drink, or dont bother to answer the door. They continue to let their children pester me, constantly. I dont understand why the child likes to talk to me, as i dont ever do anymore than schowl at her now, but still she continues to natter away and knock the door. If a tell her with a firm voice i just get spat at, and she runs home. We have considered moving, but then i feel i should t have too.
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Police, social services, local council, and your local MP. In writing, repeatedly, until they deal with this properly.
 
sarahg83 said:
I started politly, by just saying i was busy, but she just ignores you, then i stopped answering the door, or acting like she was not their, but she just continues anyway. If i say no she just looks at me with this blank face. I treated myself to a load of horsey lotions and potions one day and she wanted to help unpack the car, but i said no, that i wanted to leave it in the car to take to the yard, she ended up ignoring me like she always does and dropping it and the bottles all burst. All i got was a "woopsie" and off she went. The parents have started parking behind my car so i cant get out now, when i knock the door they say they cant move it they have had a drink, or dont bother to answer the door. They continue to let their children pester me, constantly. I dont understand why the child likes to talk to me, as i dont ever do anymore than schowl at her now, but still she continues to natter away and knock the door. If a tell her with a firm voice i just get spat at, and she runs home. We have considered moving, but then i feel i should t have too.
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That's really awful. I would contact the police & push for an ASBO as this behaviour is not normal.
 
Poor child. Send her over to me and I'll go tell her grandparents the days she's welcome to come and see my horses and I'll gladly let her mither mine for some time.
I remember being a ponyless, pony mad child and a horse person's greatest blessing to someone horseless, is to share their fortune.
 
I agree with the OP that it would be extremely irritating, if you buy a horse then it does NOT come with a responsibility to entertain horse mad kids! I was a horse mad child once, I went and helped out a riding school instead of pestering others. At the age of 10 I was fully aware how annoying it would be to behave in such a way. I regularly let children from the village come and help me with the horses and I will lead/lunge them, but they understand boundaries and do as I say- I did have two girls try to muck out, and left all the stables doors open so the horses escaped :/ very firm telling off sorted that out! However they only come when I tell them they can, they never just turn up. I love relaxing at the stables and enjoy the peace and quiet, it would drive me nuts and make me feel very uncomfortable if I had someone constantly turning up or annoying me.

I feel sorry for the girl as she is clearly looking for something to do, and trying to help out- but that's not your problem :o each to their own, some people love entertaining kids, other don't (or don't know how!) . There's no right and wrong about it and I think OP has been very patient and polite . BTW I haven't read all 24 pages, just skim read.

Sarahg83 that's horrendous, the kid sounds psychotic ! contact the police. Easy to get desensitised to that kind of thing after a while, but that is really really out of order and strange.
 
springtime1331 said:
It's a difficult one. I would speak to the grandparents and explain that you don't want her to be responsible in case she got hurt.
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This. Where on earth ARE the grandparents?! A 6yo shouldn't be allowed off on his own. I would just speak to the grandparents and say the 6yo got stuck in the fence and the 12yo is getting too close to the horses who are known to kick (make it up!) and you cannot have them around them. As much as its cute that she wants to help / be interested, your horses are big horses and you'll be the one to get in trouble if they get hurt especially as it sounds like the grandparents aren't even around to witness it.
 
Give the child a break. Speak to guardians of course set your boundaries and try and empathise with her. She is only a child.
 
Sorry, but a twelve year old knows fine well how annoyed an adult is and she should leave the OP well alone.

Sarah, please insist that the police do something and phone them each and every time your car is blocked in. You can have their car recovered, you know, because as Hairycob said, it is an offence to block someone in. I'm furious for you!
 
gmw said:
Give the child a break. Speak to guardians of course set your boundaries and try and empathise with her. She is only a child.
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Exactly - so she shouldn't be mithering strangers. If have sent her packing with a flea in her ear...
 
sarahg83 said:
After about 15 minutes i got out of bed and shouted out my bedroom window how angry i was that i have not had a lay in in over 6 months cos she is ALWAYS ringing my doorbell, and said something along the lines of how one day her grubby little finger would hit my door bell to find its been wired to the mains electric and would blow their chubby fingers off.
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You should definitely consider doing this! Or alternatively chuck a bucket of water out of the upstairs window next time.
I cannot believe that people allow their offspring to behave like this, it's disgusting. Those children sound beyond vile, you poor thing having to live next door to them. I would go round and tell the parents that if they ever climb into your garden, touch your car or ring your doorbell that you will call the police.

edited - sorry just read that police have already been called and nothing has been done. Disgusting. Shout louder, make a real fuss about it and don't stop until they have been dealt with. Do you know if your neighbours rent or own? If renting complain to the landlord, either council or private. Please don't feel that you just have to put up with feral behaviour from this vagrant family.
 
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