The Bitter End

[ponyparty]

We’ve never had one die of natural causes. Even the hen the fox got, I had to put out of her misery.

The fact that we allow humans to suffer - and would be prosecuted if we helped end the suffering - yet legally it’s the exact opposite for animals, is completely absurd.

I’m currently watching my dear gran (mammar, as we call her) decline into advanced dementia - she wants to die, she has always said she does not want to be in the exact situation she is in now and would rather take a pill or have an injection and be no more. She actually attempted suicide in the first care home she went into a couple of months back; a moment of lucidity, perhaps?
Also my father, heading into advanced Parkinsons+. He’ll probably end up choking to death or getting pneumonia from aspirated food or drink. How totally undignified and cruel. Meanwhile, he is trapped in his body; he never leaves his room. He’s given up. It’s devastating.

It’s spurred me on to write a living will, making clear my wishes should various things happen to me; and pay for membership to the campaigning charity Dignity In Dying, as every little helps their campaign. I’d recommend anyone else who feels strongly about this to do the same. They have a sister charity called Compassion In Dying, which is where I got the info and forms from to write my living will.

My grandad (pampar) died in bed overnight of a massive heart attack - fit and well for an 80-odd year old up to that point. I guess that’s the best way if you had to choose, with the law as it currently stands.

 

[Baywonder]

I agree it is a crazy situation. We have lost small pets over the years to natural causes, hamsters, rabbits and birds etc.

My old boy was PTS, (maybe a day too soon - I will never know) - but I did not want to put him through a 100 mile+ journey and major colic surgery, which had little chance of success. It would not have been fair on him, so he went over the rainbow bridge with the sun shining, a belly full of grass, mints, apples and carrots - plus enough hugs to wrap a zillion times around the world, and enough tears to fill the oceans forever and a day.

My gran died of cancer. She was in horrible pain at the end, she'd been more than ready to go for a while. She was a Christian so had no worries about where she might be going. A few weeks before she ultimately died, she was ill with something else (I can't remember what) and rather than letting her slip away then, the hospital staff "saved" her. So she suffered more and more for another few weeks. Sorry, I don't know why I'm sharing that except that I'm still angry and sad and I don't understand why they did it.

@Widgeon I couldn't agree more. I have watched family suffer with cancer until the very end. It is like you have glass wall between you and them - you are desperate to help - but there is nothing at all you can do. I remember watching my poor mum and sister suffer - and I wished they could pass away quickly to end the suffering, whilst at the same time I wanted them to get better.

I have watched a dear friend suffer with dementia - he has lucid moments when he recognises me - but they are very few and far between. It truly is a dreadful situation to be in.

 

[emilylou]

It is a privilege to be able to offer our animals a dignified and prescribed end before they suffer too much.
Having worked in hospitals and seen many people suffer prolonged drawn out ends because it is illegal to end their suffering is awful. It is my biggest frustration with modern medicine. Respect forms now allow people to determine how much life saving input they would like but there are still too many people who endure weeks and weeks of pain and suffer things we would consider inhumane to do to an animal simply because it is illegal to PTS a person who is suffering if there is a chance that modern medicine can prolong life, regardless of quality.

@Widgeon I imagine they treated your gran as unless there is a clear legal document stating that the patient does not wish to be treated in that circumstance then they have a legal obligation to provide care and would be considered negligent if they did not. Believe me, lots of doctors struggle with the ethics of these situations, however are legally bound to offer care unless there is a pre-existing legal clause not to, or the patient is of sound mind and refuses treatment.

Don't get old guys, it doesn't look much fun

 

[cindars]

It does happen and can't be helped in a young animal showing no signs. But most people with a dicky heart will tell you that it isn't all roses up to the point it finally stops. It's just that animals with failing hearts can't tell us. It makes my blood run cold if I hear anyone say they are hoping for a natural death of an old animal.

The sister mentioned went out after tea and laid in her spit in the sun and never woke up.

 

[scruffyponies]

I always say that the one who just quietly died in the field one summer night did us an immense favour, as it's harder to know when with the oldies than to make a reasonable decision over an injury or illness.

Currently looking at a scabby 14 year old English Setter. She is bright, perky (greets me every morning for a walk, and howls/dances when she wants to be let out), but she's frail, deaf as a post and increasingly incontinent in her sleep. Right now, on balance, we are putting up with the smell because she's a nice old thing, but I don't think it'll be long.

 

[Griffin]

I have had several small animals pass away at home peacefully in their sleep (guinea pigs and hamsters) but equally I have had to help a few on their journey.

I think sometimes vets, with the best will in the world, can make you feel like you are jumping the gun a bit. I have had a couple of pets diagnosed with rapidly progressing terminal illnesses and the vet has asked if I would like to take them home for a couple days before bringing them back for PTS. I have always declined because I would rather they pass away peacefully in my arms, than have to make an emergency vets visit with a distressed pet.

I know that I am an advocate of keeping horses into retirement if they are still enjoying life e.g. unable to be ridden but sound and happy in the field. However, I make a point of observing elderly horses when they can't see me to check how they are getting on when they think no one is around. I think if you want to have pets, you have to be prepared to make the call. For example, my mare hates injections and vets with a passion, so I know when it is her time, I will have to have her shot because it will be kinder for her (not for me but I will keep it together for her).

 

[w1bbler]

We’ve never had one die of natural causes. Even the hen the fox got, I had to put out of her misery.

The fact that we allow humans to suffer - and would be prosecuted if we helped end the suffering - yet legally it’s the exact opposite for animals, is completely absurd.

I’m currently watching my dear gran (mammar, as we call her) decline into advanced dementia - she wants to die, she has always said she does not want to be in the exact situation she is in now and would rather take a pill or have an injection and be no more. She actually attempted suicide in the first care home she went into a couple of months back; a moment of lucidity, perhaps?
Also my father, heading into advanced Parkinsons+. He’ll probably end up choking to death or getting pneumonia from aspirated food or drink. How totally undignified and cruel. Meanwhile, he is trapped in his body; he never leaves his room. He’s given up. It’s devastating.

It’s spurred me on to write a living will, making clear my wishes should various things happen to me; and pay for membership to the campaigning charity Dignity In Dying, as every little helps their campaign. I’d recommend anyone else who feels strongly about this to do the same. They have a sister charity called Compassion In Dying, which is where I got the info and forms from to write my living will.

My grandad (pampar) died in bed overnight of a massive heart attack - fit and well for an 80-odd year old up to that point. I guess that’s the best way if you had to choose, with the law as it currently stands.

I really hope the law in this country may change one day.
An old farming friend battled cancer with a cheery heart for many months. Then the last time I saw him, which was at least a month before he died, he said 'if I put an animal through, what I'm going through I'd be had up on a cruelty charge' Those worse have stuck with me for many years now.
Can't believe as humans we are not allowed to make the choice for ourselves.

 

[Ceriann]

Rightly or wrongly when faced with a PTS decision we focus on wanting what we consider to be the right ending. I’ve never had a natural death for any of my animals - I remember all too well desperately wanting to take my dog home from the vets so he could die at home, somewhere familiar safe. The vet blessed this (they had found a large tumour on his spleen - pts was the only option), ssid he was comfortable but warned he could suffer a bleed (if the tumour damaged a vessel) amd death would be horrid - we had him pts at the vets that day. Broke my heart but I would never have forgiven myself if he’d had to suffer. Easier said than done but we should focus on the life they live up to the pts, with pts the final act of care and love we can give.

 

[splashgirl45]

my friends horse was fine, he was in his teens and retired and out 24/7 with a companion. when my friend got there in the morning the companion came over for breakfast and her horse didnt get up. he was dead and looked like he had got down to sleep and died, no sign of a struggle. it affected my friend badly as she felt she should have noticed something wrong and she worried that he suffered due to her neglect. she was a very caring owner and he had the best of everything even though she couldnt ride him anymore, it would have been better for her mentally if she had decided to PTS. my mare had cushings and i arrived one morning to see her flat out in the field and for a moment i hoped she had gone so i didnt have to make the call, she was just in a deep sleep and was most annoyed i had woken her up but decided it was worth it as i had bought breakfast. i had to make that decision about 6 months later and dont know which i would have preferred. i have had a guinea pig die overnight and had a post mortem(i know a bit ott) as she had been fine and was only 4, vet said she had a heart attack..

 

[Orangehorse]

The have to do it Widgeon. Who is going to take the responsibility? I know an old farmer who was in hospital and in his 90s and was clearly declining. The hospital was giving him blood transfusions and he would brighten up for a day or two and then start going downhill again and was a great deal of pain from arthritis so that every move was painful. The doctors wanted to give him yet another blood transfusion and his daughter stopped them by saying that they were just delaying the inevitable, which had been going on for several weeks by then. It was clear that he wouldn't be well enough to ever leave hospital and go home.

 

[Orangehorse]

I have also seen pets that are in dire straights, yet the owners don't want to take the final step and just cling on to the hope that they will die in their sleep. I have a lovely friend, but both her cat and dog were, in my opinion, left far, far too long. The cat was incontient and spent its day yowling and crying and the dog had 2 cancer operations and when I saw it last it was pacing around the house, never still, clearly to me that it was in pain.

 

[Cortez]

People who let their pets struggle on in clear distress because they can't bear to let them go, or "love them too much", are not right in the head IMO. And I can't even begin to understand the person who kept their dear old horse going so far beyond what was humane that they were lifting her up with a tractor, just so he could say he had a 34 year old horse. I've never wished anything dead, but I did for her.

 

[Snowfilly]

People who let their pets struggle on in clear distress because they can't bear to let them go, or "love them too much", are not right in the head IMO. And I can't even begin to understand the person who kept their dear old horse going so far beyond what was humane that they were lifting her up with a tractor, just so he could say he had a 34 year old horse. I've never wished anything dead, but I did for her.

And I second guessed and beat myself up for the 36 hours we kept a 3 year old 9hh pony going while he couldn’t get up - luckily he was small enough we could lift him and turn him easily. As he was still eating and drinking despite his illness and being weak, we kept going, and a week later he was back to almost normal. Went on to be a nice kids pony. But for those 36 hours I felt sick with dread and almost sure I was doing the wrong thing.

How cruel and pointless to torture the poor mare like that.