The decision

Identityincrisis

Identityincrisis

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So I’m fairly sure deep down it is ultimately the right decision but I'm really struggling with never seeing my beloved boy again.

He's a 14ish year old Lurcher who I got from a rescue, he's a big lad approx 29kg. He's been having regular physio for 2 years and been on pain meds for the same length of time as he was showing subtle changes in behaviour. He's not a stoic boy by any stretch of the imagination so I don't believe he's in a lot of pain but I do believe there is a degree of pain as he no longer trots along (he clearly wants to, which is heart breaking as he loved to run) he is no longer reactive which is a huge red flag, he's unsteady on his legs, no longer plays with his toys, although he's never been one to play a lot! He's on a huge cocktail of pain relief which the vet and I both agreed is the final medication review. His physio believes he's ok to carry on but I have already lowered my high QOL standards.

He is still loving his food and walks (except for not being able to trot) but I don't want him to lose his happiness and I certainly don't want it to be an emergency! I want him at home, surrounded by all the people who love him (including my Dad who has NEVER liked any other dog but adores him) eating an all he can eat buffet

So wise HHOers am I jumping the gun? How do I actually go through with it?????? He's my first dog that is only mine, he's been my absolute world for 7 wonderful years, we WFH together and are rarely apart due to his severe separation anxiety, the panic of him not being around can get overwhelming

Sorry for the ramble
 
Such a horrible decision to make, you already know it's the right decision but if it helps... unsteady on legs now could go downhill very fast and become an emergency, pain stopping him from doing fun things will be making things pretty sad for him, no other pain meds as an option to help means things are only going to get worse for him. I waited for my partner to get on board with this decision about the 1st dog we had together and left it too long, biggest regret of my life and it still haunts me how the poor boy was on the Monday morning while we waited for the vet 💔
 
Last November I had to make that decision with my 15.5yr old Whippet. My vets were happy to come to the house so he could go with his friends and family around him. I think, on the whole as my old vet said, they tell you when they are ready to go. Snip woke me at 1am to go out, when he jumped on the bed he paused and looked at me as if to say sorry Mum but its time to go. When I got ready to go to work at 8am he went to bed and wouldn't come with me, this was my velcro dog the one who would cry if I left the room. He went that afternoon. Was he in pain - no, was there anything "wrong" with him, no - he was just tired. Do I miss him - yes. It was a hard decision but also a relief to know that it wasn't an emergency and remember that the day before he had been his happy self.
 
It sounds like you've made the decicion and are asking for validation. I for one, validate your decicion.

With my older dogs, I generally don't tell anyone else until it's done, that way I won't be swayed. Some yes, maybe I was a little early, some were to late/the dog had become immobile and for me, that's too late/a little unfair. But I've never had a vet say 'why don't you try this/that instead'.
When it's a younger dog and it's behavioural/something that could possibly be solved or maintained, I seek a lot of counsel.
But a dog that's of a great age and has lived a good life and it's not going to improve, then it's more clear cut.
 
I'd always rather let them go a little early. That said, I lost my little geriatric Lola in October last year.
We'd drastically scaled back walks, she was a little unsteady, and slow but still a happy little thing at almost 16. She obviously couldn't take any sort of rough play. I worried a lot when people said "you'll just know" that I'd wait too long, that it would be an emergency but when the day came I did know, it wasn't an emergency but it didn't need to be planned beyond knowing the appointment would be the next day.
I had considered a "planned" appointment probably about 18 months earlier as I couldn't bear the thought of her struggling and while she'd never have known I'm happy knowing that we had at least 100 more cuddles that she enjoyed every day.
It is hard with an older dog, I was ok with slow and wobbly but I couldn't have let her plough on in pain if that makes sense/helps at all

Exactly what @nellietinker said, she just looked at me and was tired, she was ready to rest
 
With my Border, it was a combination, his arthritis was managed, his cognitive decline was helped with a high fat diet, his heart murmur wasn’t a day to day issue. Then his gallbladder started playing up, we could have tried to stabilise him for surgery but he’d need a low fat diet, we could medicate his cognitive decline but it might affect his heart. We could try and stabilise the gallbladder and he could just spend his final days suffering.

I always thought I would keep him alive as long as medically possible but when push came to shove, I didn’t want him to suffer. He’d been off his food for nearly a week and he was never a dog to go on off food (even after dental surgery!), so it felt right.

He was the best dog ever 😭
 
It is never an easy decision but unsteady on his legs on the most medication he can have would be my red line. When they can no longer do what they want to do, it has become a QOL issue for me and I am definitely in the better a week too early camp. We've had a few emergencies out of the blue and I'd prefer to avoid those where possible.
 
My lurcher had slowed down gradually and I thought it washer heart as she had a grade 4 heart murmur . I was shocked when the vet said it was arthritic hips. We gave her strong pain relief but it made her poo very loose and she was continually wanting to be in the garden. I monitored her all weekend and felt it was time, she was 13. Monday morning on our walk a squirrel ran across 5he path and she didn’t even attempt to chase it and the way she looked at me said ‘ help’. I booked the vet to come home straight away and know it was right but maybe a couple of days late.. sounds like you have already made the decision, so sorry
 
Thank you so much everyone, you have confirmed what I knew deep down. For me, as much as anything, his inability to even trot is a big red flag, as @I'm Dun said, for a dog bred to run, this doesn't sit well with me.

Doing life without my little yellow lurcher by my side is going to be so hard

A picture of him enjoying his favourite freedom field
Banjo.jpg
 
I think if you're considering it, then as you know him best, maybe it's time. I'm really sorry, it's tghe hardest decision even when you know it's the right one.
 
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