The Grumpy Old Fart, Really Arsey, Tell It Like It Is Thread...

[Saucisson]

Oh yeah and........to all those who think that all nutjob/nasty animals can be rehabillitated:-

I'll stick my cat in an envelope and send her over to you. Rehabillitate that

 

[nativetyponies]

Oh yeah and........to all those who think that all nutjob/nasty animals can be rehabillitated:-

I'll stick my cat in an envelope and send her over to you. Rehabillitate that

Put it on "Project Pussy's"

 

[The_snoopster]

And one more thing I should like to winge about-

I dont care if my spelling and puntuation suck, I write like this just to get on the picky peoples nerves OK.

 

[Saucisson]

Put it on "Project Pussy's"

Well she does like the occasional tickle

 

[Groom42]

Catnip sticks????

 

[Achinghips]

Yard owners: mend your bloody fences and try switching the electricity on once in a while!

 

[WoopsiiD]

As I have just seen an ad that has riled me...

DO NOT buy your daughter a pony just because she picked up a book in Tesco's with a pwitty horsey on the front.

This is not a sign that your child is set to become an Olympian (Tea Leaf maybe). When said child shows no interest in horse, don't just try and flog it on.

Why not get child a zhu zhu pet instead?

 

[PapaFrita]

I write like this just to get on the picky peoples nerves OK.

Is it even worth it?

 

[Chico Mio]

Can I eat it? Can I sh*g it? When's dinner? Not you again? I'm tired......

Can I eat it? Can I sh*g it? When's dinner? Not you again? I'm tired......

Can I eat it? Can I sh*g it? When's dinner? Not you again? I'm tired......

See, I'm a horse communicator!

(apologies to all for my their/they're error - unforgiveable!)

Also works for husbands/partners.....

 

[PapaFrita]

Put it on "Project Pussy's"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! I wonder if that's an available .com domain....

 

[FairyLights]

oats = b*&&^y good feed for horses. I'm sick of the whining ninnies who are so scared of their horses that they feed them sod all, wonder why they wont put weight on but have decided that any starch/sugar is bad bad bad. they dont know what they are talking about. Most of these horses are underexercised and unfit. No, you cannot get a horse hunting fit riding 20 mins 3 times a week and only feeding it happy hoof in its bucket.
and another thing, people who think its wrong to call a horse "it". there was a long thread on another site ( you know the one I mean) and people were getting really bothered that the horse was "it" and not "he " or "she". then again most of these people thought it wrong to use bits,shoes or geld the colts. unbelievable.

 

[JFTDWS]

Similar to disliking people who think it is wrong to call a horse "it"...

People who call themselves their horse's "mummy" *vomits* 'cos that's just wrong.

Also, people who have warmbloods, but are too scared to ride them, yet think it's ok to mock me for riding ponies and cobs... At least I ride mine :/ feel free to mock me if you BE your warmblood or whatever, you've earned the right! But if your pony is a glorified pet, just shhhhhh...

 

[howengold]

My fecking SHETlAND don't need flipping rugging!!! Stop saying he does, have you not seen were he sodding comes from???????????

And just cos she is 37 doesn't mean I can't ride her or take her to play a t a show in the veteran class! Just cos your horse is 20 and past it doesn't mean I am lying!!!!

*on a roll now lol*

And NO is the answer to your fecking phone call asking for me to leave my work, which is five miles by bike from your stables, to put your horse in the stable because it is raining...SHE WON'T MELT IN WATER YA KNOW!!!!!!! You wouldn't leave work for me would you???

The reason I won't talk to you anymore is because
a) reaction to above phone call.
b) telling people I was ignoring you when at the time I was waving and trying to talk to you when you would ignore me!!!! Yes I am now but that was after this lot:

you pushed my post and rail down exposing my veterans to the nails and barbed wire behind it which you incidently put up.

you bitched about me to my ex boss, who was a good friend and now thinks I am the problem.

You chose to corner my daughter in my tack room to have ago at her trying to put the fence back up because you said it was encroaching on your land....YOU BUILT IT!!!

You haven't the balls to phone me up and ask me about said fence, no, you pick on my kids and upset them even though you knew I was in and out of hospital all summer for an unknown reason.

No, you buying yourself another horse isn't the reason either....Although if you had asked if we had time to exercise it with you and help you muck out, look after it while you were on holiday, you would have been told that I have more than enough to do with my job, 4 kids and at the time 6 horses/ponies of our own. And no I wasn't prepared to loan him when your other horse died and you moved to Spain.......You assumed everything would be alright with me and then was angry when I never had time and my daughter was doing her GCSE revision so she couldn't help either.......


ooooooo!!!!! That feels so good! oh yeah and if theres any gramma or spellin mistakes.....TOUGH TITTIES!!!

 

[Ellies_mum2]

Why will you not be told that your mare is fat. Not pregnant. FAT!! Actually let me correct myself your mare is obese. Her crest is rock solid, she wobbles when she walks, has a gutter from tail to withers and a back like a table top so why the hell did you turn her out in a new field full of bloody grass????????





Yep I definitely feel better now

 

[PapaFrita]

oats = b*&&^y good feed for horses.

Agreed!! I haven't fed PF anything else for 5 years and she's doing fantastically well on them.

Disclaimer; of course she has grass an alfalfa as well; I meant that's the only hard feed she has.

 

[JFTDWS]

Why will you not be told that your mare is fat. Not pregnant. FAT!! Actually let me correct myself your mare is obese. Her crest is rock solid, she wobbles when she walks, has a gutter from tail to withers and a back like a table top so why the hell did you turn her out in a new field full of bloody grass????????





Yep I definitely feel better now

Why isn't it acceptable to scream at people that their horse is obese and they are too. No you don't need a fat heavyweight cob to ride kid, YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

This is fun

 

[Crazydancer]

Stop!! The English teacher in me is having a coronary. Hang on while I give her a large g&t.
Ok. All better now

While we're on the subject.... its ASK, not AXE or however you may spell it....

You AXED her? No, she'd be dead... you ASKED her..... enough with the rapper chat!
That one really bugs me....

 

[howengold]

While we're on the subject.... its ASK, not AXE or however you may spell it....

You AXED her? No, she'd be dead... you ASKED her..... enough with the rapper chat!
That one really bugs me....

nausing innit...grrrrrrr

 

[SirenaXVI]

I have more


Please stop telling porkies about your/your horse's abilities on the internet - we are not all as numpty as you are.

Also it is:

Bought NOT brought
Haylage NOT Hayledge
ConFORmation NOT confirmation


wanders out mutteting

 

[YorksG]

Can I join in please?

Stop declaring that anyone who values human lives above equine lives is a horse user/hater. Think about the number of useless, poorly put together animals that are bred from each year and how you, yes you, add to that number by buying the offspring of the sick, the lame and the halt, or the just bleddy dangerous.
I thank you.

 

[BuBbleMooJim]

Right then My horse is not fat, just because your friend has hack rack thoroughbreds in the summer!!! Your horse does not have COPD, she is fat, fat, fat! Blasting around on her three days a week, does not make her fit, she struggles to breath, because she is fed twice a day, and you don't ride her, she is lame because you ride like a sack of spuds, your saddle rubs her back because of that too. She is not up to your weight! go on a diet, and worm counts are useful if all the horses are turned out individually, and pooh picking is done regularly!!

 

[howengold]

I am loving this now!! Thanks. It will get me through a long and stressful night hthinking of more!

 

[howengold]

ok, a none equine one.

Don't tell us how your three lads have been taken off you and we don't know what its like to be you! Guess what my husband fought for his girls in court for nearly 6 years and we won because we gave them the most stable best life out of the two partys. THEY wanted to be with us. We didn't run away from our problems dragging our kids all over the place and not tell anyone what was going on.

You never told us the whole story and we couldn't help you based on lies.

Now guess what? My son is seriously ill and your daughter is telling me to get my husband to phone her, its urgent.....why are you as ill as my son?????

 

[NumptyN]

aaaaahhhh..
Why should I worry my little head about your horse if you aren't going to?

Why should I have gone to all that trouble... all that and more, much more, just to try to keep your horse safe, sound, amused, fit, a pleasure for others to handle and ride... if you can't be arzed to even pick out its feet once in a while. If I give you money because I want the horse to have its year-overdue dental check, I expect the money to be used for that. Do you even go and check they have 4 feet every day? I highly doubt it. Why get back into the habit, when other mugs will do it because they care about your horses. And If I say there is a problem how about actually listening to me or god forbid inspecting your horse to see, rather than grump some rubbish about what it must be and bog off not to be seen for the rest of the day just because you’re having a bad hair day.

A professional is not a professional if he lames all of your horses in one fell swoop. He certainly does not deserve to have the idea even entertained for one iota of a second that you may call him up again to do the very same again. Your horses do not deserve that, and the unpaid person who spend blooming years conditioning that horse's feet to be pretty much self-sufficient does not deserve to have all of their hard work made a mockery of like that.

Very highly fertilized grass is not a great idea for equine grazing. Its even less of a good idea to feed it in unlimited quantities. Your pastures have NEVER had the chance to go bald, so don’t give me that ridiculous excuse when I ask why these horses who are severely at risk of laminitis have been moved to another new field full of lush grazing.

Remember your principals about how horses should live? Why are they out of the window, not only temporarily, but for the last several years? Did boys come first? Why are you hanging on to some pipe dream, yet doing nothing to achieve it, while in the meantime your horses suffer, if not physically then mentally?

No I’m not perfect. I make mistakes, occasionally I lose my confidence and very occasionally I lose my temper. But I strive to learn and not make the same mistakes, strive to get my confidence up and strive to be patient, and I’m not nasty and unpredictable about it when you get it wrong. Your horses have been the centre of my world for some time now, and it is hurtful when you make snide comments as to all the things I’m not doing to manage them perfectly. How about taking up just a little of the responsibility for them yourself?

Like it or not, I may be a better rider than you. I may also be a better horse handler than you. I may know more about all sorts of things equine than you, I say may because I honestly don't think about it like that, but i feel assured that you do and have developed an inferiority complex. So don’t try to rub my face in your ill informed bias. An EDT who uses power tools is not lazy. A barefoot trimmer has the potential to be well enough qualified to trim horses feet (better than the farrier who lamed them all ...) and all the exercise in the world won’t make your horse trim if you feed him all the calories in the world along with it.

 

[PapaFrita]

Can I join in please?

Stop declaring that anyone who values human lives above equine lives is a horse user/hater. Think about the number of useless, poorly put together animals that are bred from each year and how you, yes you, add to that number by buying the offspring of the sick, the lame and the halt, or the just bleddy dangerous.
I thank you.

What about the people who places a greater value on a horse's life than a human's life... although I suppose it depends on the human. And the horse

 

[tallyho!]

Blimey! Never knew there were this many old grumpy fart arses on HHO!!!

The mind boggles.

Anyway, here is mine:

Do your own ironing, cooking, cleaning. I can't be bothered myself as I have the horse to go and do.

There.

Better.

 

[peanut]

No, I'm not mean turning my horse out "naked" in one of the mildest Novembers on record (18 degrees yesterday). She's wearing a b*****y fur coat, and a waterproof one at that!

 

[FleabittenT]

Horses do not 'get fat on fresh air'.

It is fat because you are allowing it to eat too much and you are not exercising it sufficiently.

This may require hard work to manage on your part. It is not bloody rocket science.



And breathe...

 

[rubysmum]

can anybody do this .........
Right......
Yes I am po picking with a head torch - no i do not have OCD or actually enjoy trudging around a field in the dark after a 10 hr working day BUT as this field has to last all the horse who live out all winter until next March & as none of you will get off your bottoms to help - poo picking in the dark means that some of the 14 wheel barrows of poo that I [ not the poo fairy] remove each week dont have to be done - agiain by me on my own - on saturday

Yes - my horse does look very well for her age
this is because
a] I did not buy some random 600 quid horse from the market
b] she is ridden a lot & kept to a varied work programme - this does mean that I have to ride when I am tired/when there is agood thing on TV/when the weather is not perfect
c] she is wormed/teeth done/innoculated/vet checked on a regular programme
d] her tack/feed regime are fit for purpose & a evaluated regulalry for function

Yes - all of the above is expensive & time consuming

Oh & - if you have been doing prelim RC dressage since 1834 & get score in the high 70s on your super duper horse - its TIME TO MOVE UP A CLASS


its true - this is amazingly cathartic

 

[D66]

a non horsey one:

if someone cuts you up whilst driving - take a deep breath, remember how upset it makes you feel to be put in danger, and resolve that you will be as kind and polite as possible to all other road users so that they don't feel frightened/disrespected. People who drive badly are less evolved than those who drive well and do not benefit from being taught a lesson; frustrating them makes them more angry.

And most of all

Don't come on here and boast about how angry you were and how badly you behaved!