The "male horseriders are gay" myth

[IrishRegulus]

Hey all,

Haven't been here in quite some time, but I would like to run something by the community and see what folk think.

Firstly, with no disrespect to people of differing gender preference, I am male and I am not gay, but I do ride.

Yet I've seemingly heard nothing but "hoblokes who ride are generally considered to be gay.

Well, something happened that enabled me to develop as theory as to why mainly NON-horsey people believe the above to be true.

As a bloke in a mainly female barn, if one fancies a chat or a mate, it's going to be a lady. SO, I get palsy with a girl and then, as sure as night follows day, next time along comes hubby or the man.

The barn/yard whatever is generally her "potting shed", the last thing she wants is hubby or the man knocking around her yard...but he's a wee bit jealous so she say's "that chappie (who looks so lurvely on horseback) is gay" and verily does hubby return home feeling a little better about his not-so-manly fear of horses and spreads the myth.

So, what do you think ladies and gents?

Have I stumbled across something or ought I just go back to watching Carl Hester's dressage...?

Thanks for reading, wish it were more useful or informative

 

[Sukistokes2]

Nah, I think you're wrong, I just think its a misconception on peoples part, because they don't understand something. In this country its a "womans" thing, in Spain its a mans sport. I liken it to the idea of all male hairdressers being gay! Now my hairdresser is a man, he is not gay, but he simply ignores comments now! I just think that some British people are stupid and can not deal with men who are different. Like a strong woman will be termed a dyke, for no other reason that she makes some men feel insecure!

 

[indiat]

Erm, I have NEVER told my OH that a man at the yard is gay to assuage his insecurities. But then, my OH is not that insecure that he bristles at my having conversations with men, gay or straight.

 

[NinjaPony]

I think it just reflects homophobia and sexism within society. Man does something considered "feminine"- this is automatically seen as a bad thing, and thus the man is labelled as "gay" because everyone knows that doing something "feminine" diminishes your masculinity and therefore that makes you gay, which is the ultimate taboo. It's pathetic and ridiculous (not to mention inaccurate) , insulting both gay men and women, and should be condemned or ignored depending on the type of person you are.

 

[RunToEarth]

I'm not on a yard, but that theory wouldn't work with me, unless I was hoping to convince my own OH that he was infact, gay.

 

[cobgoblin]

I think it has more to do with fear. Dismissing a sport as being 'gay' means that most men can excuse themselves from ever having a go at it, therefore not risking looking stupid in front of a bunch of women!
Plus most men would run a mile if presented with a pair of breeches, which must of course, only appeal to gay men.

 

[Kezzabell2]

I think she has the hots for you and if her bf thinks you're gay then she can get close without him worrying

watch out haha

 

[JoJo_]

Hmm that may happen sometimes but I dont think it is the reason for this misconception. People who have nothing to do with horses think this so wont be because their wives have spun them a story. In this country the majority of the horse world is women and that unfortunately makes it seem like a woman's sport. I suppose in someways it is similar to women playing football, a lot of people think they are lesbians.

There is a 13yr old lad on my yard who is a brilliant little rider. He loves dressage and doesnt jump. Getting good scores at novice with a welsh pony he has brought on since a baby. He has considered giving up the hobby he loves though as he gets bullied at school that he is gay for riding horses and he is not (as far as I know). Seems a shame as Carl Hester is his idol and he wants to be as good as him one day.

 

[blitznbobs]

Tbh in the dressage world a lot of the guys are gay... Not all but there are a high percentage ...

 

[popsdosh]

Tbh in the dressage world a lot of the guys are gay... Not all but there are a high percentage ...

Exactly ! I think some of the previous posters have been hiding under a rock or something. In my experience in both dressage and eventing I meet a lot higher proportion of gay men than I ever do in the world outside horses.

 

[Annagain]

Exactly ! I think some of the previous posters have been hiding under a rock or something. In my experience in both dressage and eventing I meet a lot higher proportion of gay men than I ever do in the world outside horses.

I think it's more a case that gay horsey men are in a (mostly female) environment where it's easier to be open about their sexuality than, for example, rugby or football players. I bet there are as many gay men doing those hobbies, they just hide it for fear of ridicule or abuse, sadly.

ETA - I've never told my OH that any man I speak to, in any part of my life, is gay when he isn't. I wouldn't be with him if he didn't trust me to be able to speak to a man without him feeling threatened by it.

 

[kez81]

Hey all,

Haven't been here in quite some time, but I would like to run something by the community and see what folk think.

Firstly, with no disrespect to people of differing gender preference, I am male and I am not gay, but I do ride.

Yet I've seemingly heard nothing but "hoblokes who ride are generally considered to be gay.

Well, something happened that enabled me to develop as theory as to why mainly NON-horsey people believe the above to be true.

As a bloke in a mainly female barn, if one fancies a chat or a mate, it's going to be a lady. SO, I get palsy with a girl and then, as sure as night follows day, next time along comes hubby or the man.

The barn/yard whatever is generally her "potting shed", the last thing she wants is hubby or the man knocking around her yard...but he's a wee bit jealous so she say's "that chappie (who looks so lurvely on horseback) is gay" and verily does hubby return home feeling a little better about his not-so-manly fear of horses and spreads the myth.

So, what do you think ladies and gents?

Have I stumbled across something or ought I just go back to watching Carl Hester's dressage...?

Thanks for reading, wish it were more useful or informative

Yes, you are onto something there! Will totally confess to having labelled a male friend as gay for purpose of keeping jealous now-ex husband from ruining what is actually a nice FRIENDSHIP! Of course I don't need to use that excuse anymore as he introduced me to his best horse riding male mate who is now my partner lol!

 

[Liz H]

Keeping this one away from my OH, I can assure you he is not gay, but does ride horses, wears breeches and long boots, and in my biased opinion looks quite good in them. He was a Sergeant Major in the Infantry so I'll let anyone who thinks he is partaking in a gay activity tell him, I won't

 

[FairyLights]

My husband, sons and grandson certainly arnt gay. All ride.

 

[gmw]

Mmmm maybe we should see what some world famous showjumpers, eventers, polo players and dressage riders would say!!! Of course a percentage of people are 'gay' in all walks of life. Just as you have a percentage of people with grey eyes, red hair, broken noses etc. My grandson has given up his riding. His school 'friends' said it was gay to ride.The shame of it is he really was a natural horseman with a very bright future which has been snuffed out because of ignorance. Sad very sad.

 

[Char0901]

In this country I think horse riding is predominately seen a woman's sport. But when you get to a certain level, particularly Show Jumping, there are A LOT more men at top level. Think about watching an international Grand Prix or the Hickstead Derby... 30 entries for example, I bet 20 odd are men!

 

[Shantara]

I've known 2 male dressage riders and both are gay! One was a bit of a jerk, but the other (my supervisor at my yard job) was a super star!

However, my ex-boyfriend, who was a stunt rider was 100% straight and I think all of his male colleagues were straight too.

 

[kez81]

Yes, you are onto something there! Will totally confess to having labelled a male friend as gay for purpose of keeping jealous now-ex husband from ruining what is actually a nice FRIENDSHIP! Of course I don't need to use that excuse anymore as he introduced me to his best horse riding male mate who is now my partner lol!

Should probably have mentioned i would not have labelled a straight friend as gay if he had not himself suggestedit as a way to keep my ex off my back during what was a very painful separation where my ex accused every man within 100 miles of being the cause of our split, every man except himself of course!
I am sure there are some women who simply don't correct a partner who makes the gay assumption probably because they don't want hubby to end up stealing their horse when he realises riding is in fact very manly!
I do agree its a culture thing in this xountry to think of riding as a womens sport and thats who men face ridicule from ignorant and jealous people by being labelled as gay or posh or something else. There is also within riding community some areas seen as more manly ( show jumping for example) and men face being stereotyped if they choose something like dressage over polo or show jumping for example same way women get ridiculed for playing rugby.

 

[suffolkmare]

Sadly it is definitely a reaction of the "My little pony" generation; ponies are seen to be for rich, spoilt little girls only, and horses for rich, lazy, spoilt women and barbaric old huntsmen. Maybe what's needed is a good MODERN DAY horsey book/film with a boy/man starring...a kind of National Velvet meets Harry Potter (or Alex Ryder) to make riding cool and acceptable for boys. War Horse showed a special relationship between a boy and his horse, but of course was in the past, and probably seen by many more females than males! Not such a problem over in Ireland, where "jockey" is much more likely to feature on the "what I want to be" list!

 

[suffolkmare]

Hmm... just remembered Ms Cooper's books...ok, read by women but some definitely-not-gay characters there!

 

[mynutmeg]

tbh my experience is that most of the horsey guys I know are most definately gay.

 

[Goldenstar]

I think that gay men are more represented in horsy men than in the average .
However that makes it a great place for straight men to hang out all those women all those breeches, leather etc need I go on .

 

[Cinnamontoast]

tbh my experience is that most of the horsey guys I know are most definately gay.

Same, really obviously so. Normally I'm hopeless at knowing, but the ones I know are stereotypical!

 

[Sukistokes2]

So some gay guys ride.......? Does it make all guys that ride gay? In the end does someone's sexuality really matter in the least.

 

[westerngirl]

JoJO my son had the same problem ( defo not gay) so invited the bullies to come meet his welsh cob stallion and have a go. One look at him snorting and cavorting ( the cob that is!) and the bullying stopped !

 

[RaposadeGengibre]

Are men so insecure nowadays?
I spent enough time in a gym with guys (not fancy air conditioned and shiny but hardcore sweatshops with burly guys and trash metal blasting from speakers) and my current club where due to...ahem... training specifics boob rub or leg grab is normal occurrence. But sure as hell I wouldnt let OH to drag along with me to my "potting shed"!

And I suppose it is the same as "all male ballet dancers are gay" as "how can you do all that touches and grabs and dont "wink-wink" react..."

 

[popsdosh]

I think if you actually have contacts within the dressage and eventing circles you quickly realise that the % is really high ,within dressage my acquaintances would be about 75% of the men are openly gay. In Eventing of the people I know it would be about 40% with on top of that several that play on both sides.
I dont think there would be many riders within those sports who would challenge that.

This is to my mind why male riders in general get stereotyped!!

 

[Emsarr]

Yes there are a lot of gay men in this sport but there are also a lot of straight men. I'm currently at equine college, in my 2nd year, and since I started last year there has only been maybe 3 or 4 guys that are gay and thats over 4 courses with an overall of 8 year groups. My OH, as well as a load of lads I'm/we're friends with, have openly told me that horse riding came in really handy when they were younger when it came to picking up girls! Suppose it has its bonuses!!

 

[Bede]

Why does it matter who is gay and who isn't ? If someone is being bullied because they are thought to be gay then of course the bullying should be tackled. Otherwise it's none of anyone else's business

 

[Hackie]

There definitely is some bias of gay men in some disciplines in my experience - showing and dressage - but the bias goes the other way on the hunting and polo fields. And that's certainly not saying that all are/aren't, of course this is a generalisation.

Why does it matter who is gay and who isn't ? If someone is being bullied because they are thought to be gay then of course the bullying should be tackled. Otherwise it's none of anyone else's business

In my experience, no, it really doesn't matter. Maybe I'm fortunate but horsey people come across to me as being very accepting of all kinds (I know quite a few gay men who have openly had LTRs with women, and no one has batted an eye, for example). Its simply an observation, nothing wrong with that.