The "male horseriders are gay" myth

blitznbobs said:
Tbh in the dressage world a lot of the guys are gay... Not all but there are a high percentage ...
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I suppose it depends what equine sport you do -

dressage and showing - I would probably agree, lots are gay.

Racing - mostly straight little men wanting to put it about, a LOT.

hunting and teamchasing - mix of randy teenage boys, handsome middle aged men and randy old boys, mostly straight, but every hunt has at least two token gays.
 
Chan said:
I've known 2 male dressage riders and both are gay! One was a bit of a jerk, but the other (my supervisor at my yard job) was a super star!

However, my ex-boyfriend, who was a stunt rider was 100% straight and I think all of his male colleagues were straight too.
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Not sure what 'being a bit of a jerk' has got to do with being gay.

Liz H said:
Keeping this one away from my OH, I can assure you he is not gay, but does ride horses, wears breeches and long boots, and in my biased opinion looks quite good in them. He was a Sergeant Major in the Infantry so I'll let anyone who thinks he is partaking in a gay activity tell him, I won't:)
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Why, is there something shameful about 'partaking in a gay activity'?
 
Having a think about it, probably another reason why the 'male horse riders are gay' myth perpetuates is that it was one of the first sub-groups of society where people could openly be 'out' and be accepted. I've been showing horses for 20 years, and it wasn't an issue back when I was a kid, however look at other sports (swimming - Ian Thorpe and even diving - Tom Daley) not to mention other sectors of society, where it is still an issue for these men to reveal their sexuality. I know of a few men who still don't openly advertise their sexuality given the effects they fear it will have on their career, working in various roles in finance, in The City. Ridiculous but it still happens.

Given its been more widely accepted by horsey people for a long time, it's not that far a stretch for (perhaps less enlightened) people outside the sport to associate horse riders and gay men. Its not correct, and its a stereotype, but it says far more about the rest of society than it says about horse riders.
 
"Hello. My name is Soapy and I'm a straight male rider" (that's my imaginary first time at a Straight Male Riders Anonymous meeting over with!).

Firstly, I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, however, I do wish more straight men rode. It's just about having more in common with your compadres. I am the ONLY male horse owner (straight or otherwise) on an all female DIY livery yard. I have lots of female friends there, but occaisionally it's obvious (say when you're all tacking up for a hack at the same time) that the girls don't really want you joining them because they have girls stuff to talk about. Fair enough. I don't want to talk about girl things. I want to talk about Arsenal and beer and, well, girls! However, I am in the wrong hobby for that.

So why don't more straight men ride? I can only speak from experience. I didn't take up riding until adulthood. I had opportunities to ride when I was a boy/teenager, but must confess, I was put off for fear of what my male peers would say. I (and they) saw it as a girly sport. This, as others have said, is mainly due to how it's portrayed in film and in print media. So why (or so it seems) are gay men more likely to take it up as a hobby? It's not to do with the boots and breeches (as someone implied) heaven knows I love striding around in my horsey gear - probably a bit too much! I think it's because they've already conquered a major psychological obstacle in their life - coming out as gay in the first place. Taking up a 'girly' hobby is nothing after taking that big step. Us straight men, on the other hand, plough on through life without having to tackle our insecurities. Personally, I conquered my paranoia of the equestrian pursuits in Ireland when some very straight Irish lads I met in a pub convinced me to go riding with them. When we met up the following day they were all in boots and breeches as though it was totally normal. I joined them on their ride, in my baggy jeans, and had incredibly uncomfortable time bouncing around and falling-off. However, I loved it and suddenly realised what I'd been missing.

In summary, in other cultures (Irish, Spanish, Portuguese, Argentinian) riding can be a very masculine pursuit. I think the English (perhaps the BHS?) need to be far more active in attracting boys into the sport at a young age. After all, I was looking at the horse magazines the other day and they all looked like women's magazines.
 
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soapy said:
In summary, in other cultures (Irish, Spanish, Portuguese, Argentinian) riding can be a very masculine pursuit. I think the English (perhaps the BHS?) need to be far more active in attracting boys into the sport at a young age. After all, I was looking at the horse magazines the other day and they all looked like women's magazines.
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I agree with this. Especially Pony magazine is all pink, glitter and girly.
 
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IME if male horse riders aren't gay- they are normally jerks. Girls get so excited to find a straight guy on the scene with the same interests and hobbys straight horse guy usally ends up being a total t**er, getting with every girl possible and they are usually desperate to get on straight horsey guys arm- but i do showjump, and that is probably sooo stereotypical. I settled fora non horsey guy and have converted him to all horsey hobbies other than riding :)
 
ljohnsonsj said:
IME if male horse riders aren't gay- they are normally jerks. Girls get so excited to find a straight guy on the scene with the same interests and hobbys straight horse guy usally ends up being a total t**er, getting with every girl possible and they are usually desperate to get on straight horsey guys arm- but i do showjump, and that is probably sooo stereotypical. I settled fora non horsey guy and have converted him to all horsey hobbies other than riding :)
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Blimey. Not my experience as a bloke and I'm a bit of a stunner I must admit (joke!). In my experience the girls are in relationships already - and anyway, when they're with their horses guess what takes priority? Come to think of it, it is usually non-horsey girls who show more interest in the fact that I ride.
 
soapy said:
Blimey. Not my experience as a bloke and I'm a bit of a stunner I must admit (joke!). In my experience the girls are in relationships already - and anyway, when they're with their horses guess what takes priority? Come to think of it, it is usually non-horsey girls who show more interest in the fact that I ride.
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I should of made it clear, it is definatley not all! I know many lovely straight horsey guys, but that is the pattern with straight males i have seen in the showjumping world
 
ljohnsonsj said:
IME if male horse riders aren't gay- they are normally jerks. Girls get so excited to find a straight guy on the scene with the same interests and hobbys straight horse guy usally ends up being a total t**er, getting with every girl possible and they are usually desperate to get on straight horsey guys arm- but i do showjump, and that is probably sooo stereotypical. I settled fora non horsey guy and have converted him to all horsey hobbies other than riding :)
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Having gone to school with one of the Whitakers, I think you're right in terms of showjumping blokes - but to be fair the bunch of girls ready to drop trousers for them is probably why they have such inflated egos.
 
Ditto Hackie. It's just easier to be 'out' in some areas of life. If you're going to choose a sport to throw your all into, it's a lot easier if you can be yourself.
 
soapy said:
"Hello. My name is Soapy and I'm a straight male rider" (that's my imaginary first time at a Straight Male Riders Anonymous meeting over with!).

Firstly, I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, however, I do wish more straight men rode. It's just about having more in common with your compadres. I am the ONLY male horse owner (straight or otherwise) on an all female DIY livery yard. I have lots of female friends there, but occaisionally it's obvious (say when you're all tacking up for a hack at the same time) that the girls don't really want you joining them because they have girls stuff to talk about. Fair enough. I don't want to talk about girl things. I want to talk about Arsenal and beer and, well, girls! However, I am in the wrong hobby for that.

So why don't more straight men ride? I can only speak from experience. I didn't take up riding until adulthood. I had opportunities to ride when I was a boy/teenager, but must confess, I was put off for fear of what my male peers would say. I (and they) saw it as a girly sport. This, as others have said, is mainly due to how it's portrayed in film and in print media. So why (or so it seems) are gay men more likely to take it up as a hobby? It's not to do with the boots and breeches (as someone implied) heaven knows I love striding around in my horsey gear - probably a bit too much! I think it's because they've already conquered a major psychological obstacle in their life - coming out as gay in the first place. Taking up a 'girly' hobby is nothing after taking that big step. Us straight men, on the other hand, plough on through life without having to tackle our insecurities. Personally, I conquered my paranoia of the equestrian pursuits in Ireland when some very straight Irish lads I met in a pub convinced me to go riding with them. When we met up the following day they were all in boots and breeches as though it was totally normal. I joined them on their ride, in my baggy jeans, and had incredibly uncomfortable time bouncing around and falling-off. However, I loved it and suddenly realised what I'd been missing.

In summary, in other cultures (Irish, Spanish, Portuguese, Argentinian) riding can be a very masculine pursuit. I think the English (perhaps the BHS?) need to be far more active in attracting boys into the sport at a young age. After all, I was looking at the horse magazines the other day and they all looked like women's magazines.
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I can join you in the SMRA meeting :)

I am one of only 2 male horse owners on a small private yard but it had just been me for years. I tend to keep myself to myself whilst talking to everyone if that makes sense, having 7 horses between my partner and I we tend to be busy doing something when we are there.

I took up riding late too, well had a couple of lessons as a child but nothing meaningful. I relearnt to ride playing polo so there were a lot more male riders around but then had some english lessons as our horse collection grew but we are now focussing more on driving.
 
I think one of the problems is actually the women in the sport at grassroots level can be very hostile, unwelcoming and intimidating to men and boys in the sport.

My husband is a man who rides and is also straight but has had problems with attitudes from women (and their husbands). From the "all men who ride are gay" preconceptions to "he's only interested in horses to meet women" or "he must be kinky wearing those trousers!" or the very nasty "why is he hanging round a riding school is he some kind of paedo?". It can take much of the enjoyment out of a hobby and make it pretty unfriendly. And now that he is married to a horsey woman people assume he took up riding as a result and only does it because I do rather than being a decent rider beforehand.

Even friendly women in a group can be pretty intimidating, making lewd sexual comments about jodhpurs etc. My husband is grown up enough to deal with it now but it can easily put off a shy teenager.

I really think we need to look at our own attitudes to men in the sport to avoid driving out the next generation of male riders.
 
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Hackie said:
Having a think about it, probably another reason why the 'male horse riders are gay' myth perpetuates is that it was one of the first sub-groups of society where people could openly be 'out' and be accepted. I've been showing horses for 20 years, and it wasn't an issue back when I was a kid, however look at other sports (swimming - Ian Thorpe and even diving - Tom Daley) not to mention other sectors of society, where it is still an issue for these men to reveal their sexuality. I know of a few men who still don't openly advertise their sexuality given the effects they fear it will have on their career, working in various roles in finance, in The City. Ridiculous but it still happens.

Given its been more widely accepted by horsey people for a long time, it's not that far a stretch for (perhaps less enlightened) people outside the sport to associate horse riders and gay men. Its not correct, and its a stereotype, but it says far more about the rest of society than it says about horse riders.
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Good God...I posted a silly enough question, expecting maybe one or three replies and return some days later to find a good ol discussion.

Firstly, thank you all for your inputs - had some right laughs there - anecdotal stories and just personal musings on something that isn't reallt very serious.

OK, perhaps I should point out some things here.

I am not gay; but, neither do I think less of anyone whose gender pref differs from my own. Also, I've (not to my knowledge anyway) been falsely labelled as gay because of OH. THis was just something that popped into my head about the suddent appearance of "hubby" or th"OH"...now, I'm wondering if there's a direct correlation between the arrivals of the aforementioned and the arrival of Spring...last year I did notice a lot more men watching the little local SJ comps...all of a sudden, these guys were elaborating in great detail how beautiful horses are and how they like to take photos..."funny, that" thought I, "I've got thousands of pics of horses...but I never see you in the field taking snaps...you wait until a young female (or male, while we're on teh subject) rider's onboard...Hmmmm..." perv, methinks. Don't get me wrong...as I ride horses..but I do prefer pics of the animals without rider, bridle and tack...and messing around with other horses..or making silly faces, prancing and bucking, even just having a good old roll after you;ve spent an hour grooming :)

This seems to be one of the best answers, from my humble point of view of course,...does make sense..I've known a few gay men in my time and both DID come out to women first. so maybe there's somethin in that...the horsey world very well may be a little more accepting of gay men due to its large number of women.

As a 30 sth male rider, I can attest to it being a little lonely in the yard...Some gals just blatantly view me with suspicion...but that says more about them than any fella I know...The teenagers are actually a little more fun but then you have to be careful there too cos of watching eyes, which it truly sad cos most of the teens at my yard (a) have a sense of humour (b) are braver and will give anything a go (c) usually more talented than the happy hackers (d) don't slag off your riding behide your back (e) are very pleasant to give riding advice.

Maybe this environment alone puts off many a stright guy looking to learn how to ride. There have been three times in just one year when, due to dreadful b*tching and back-biting and tearful people, I was ready to go...way too cliquey, groups of women (acting like tweens) making faces and giggling as other girls walked by...As a bloke, I just didn't like how this was going on and on and on and on...Dunno, but if it were an all-male yard, I'd imagine that type of bullying would come to a head very quickly, result in a scrap, and that would it it. DONE. but I could be completely wrong...an all gay men yard? who knows?

Anyway, it's just me and my gentle steed...Yardlife are just something in the background...Most times I ride alone in the arena or with a female mate and we set up jumps for each other.

The male rider gay thing could very well be a typical explample of public misconception..like we're all drinking bottle of champers down there and smacking each other botties with crops, and "what,what old chap" and "oh, capital!"

Does it stem from the clothing? Cyclists, as a group,are not seem as hetero or homo, despite their tighties. Nor do footballers, running around in virtual underwear and group hugs and only having ALL men teams...and let's not even get into the rugger scrum. DO the public think that mounted cops are gay.

Some very sad stories about young lads stopping altogether :( That's awful! CAn't you step in and give some valuably needed support...watcha load of Clint Eastwood movies cos, like, yeah he was sucha gay icon... (sarcastic) Or Russell Crowe in the gladiator..what a total bufty he was...riding a horse...and a white one at that...surely he MUST be a homosexual.

I'm actually thinking now about appraoching my local educational authority to see if I can go around the schools, set up a jumping course and show the little masters just how rough, and intuituve this most noble pasttime is...human and beast working together...it's actually a testament to our capabilities as weak little human mammals ANd the most dangerous sport affter F! cars and bikes...we're number three. Maybe these pubescent spotty, smelly hormonal boys would benefit from seeing a real man on horseback.

Because, as we all know...

There's nothing gayer than a heavy cavalry charge...
 
ljohnsonsj said:
I should of made it clear, it is definatley not all! I know many lovely straight horsey guys, but that is the pattern with straight males i have seen in the showjumping world
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I think this has more to do with the showjumping world than straight male riders. (Ex showjumper and straight male) :p
During the years spent competing horses for owners it would at times have been much simpler had I been gay.
 
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I hear what you are saying, and ride dressage in Ireland......but in fairness the guys are vastly outnumbered by females in our sport and of the males riding dressage I'd say its probably a fair mix. Personally I think the showjumpers spread the "gay" rumours....just as they will attest that all dressage riders are "afraid to jump"!!
 
Over the years and have seen a few gay male grooms/instructors at riding schools.And my teenage daughter was learning to ride and she tried a few schools in the area.I noticed the gay men were very good with horses, a certain empathy with them,very assured and bold riders but something else I couldnt pinpoint. I could hardly keep my eyes off them as it was so attractive to watch. I have not seen that in what I would assume are straight guys.Sorry.!
 
Mister Ted said:
Over the years and have seen a few gay male grooms/instructors at riding schools.And my teenage daughter was learning to ride and she tried a few schools in the area.I noticed the gay men were very good with horses, a certain empathy with them,very assured and bold riders but something else I couldnt pinpoint. I could hardly keep my eyes off them as it was so attractive to watch. I have not seen that in what I would assume are straight guys.Sorry.!
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Out of interest, how did you know they were all gay? At the end of your post you insinuate that you're not even sure how to tell when a man is straight. Or is just being gentle and showing affection "gay". Not that there's anything wrong with being gay! There isn't. But all I'd say to any young male out there who is straight, and is now unsure whether horses are for them (because they don't have that secret undefinable "gay factor") don't be put off. Give it a go. I did and I don't have any regrets.
 
The gay guys were openly gay and riders and those who worked there knew.There wasnt a problem,everyone got on fine.I think a woman can tell anyway if a man is straight or gay just by his mannerisms and his eyes and he doesnt have to flaunt himself.I didnt say gay riders were more superior than straight.If a person wants to learn to ride or work with horses they just have to get on with it if its what they want to do.Plenty nice and also nasty people in the business like every other sector.
 
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