The nagging feeling that riding horses is just odd

IrishMilo

IrishMilo

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 April 2020
Messages
2,628
Visit site
Thankfully I’m a long term poster because I'm fully aware of how goading this post sounds! But as I become more aware of the psychology of horses, their pain cues, and just the general sentiment that making animals do things for our pleasure is wrong, I can’t shake this feeling.

I’ve been struggling with the motivation to ride for about a year, and I feel like part of it is that maybe it just doesn’t sit right with me anymore.

Maybe it’s because the horse I have now is very sensitive and I feel like we’re genuinely in tune with each other. Or just that the world is waking up to all of the micro ways in which we mistreat animals.

Don’t get me wrong, when I’m riding, I love it, but I’m losing my love for watching competition, taking part in them or just generally anything where I think “Why would I make my horse do this when he has nothing to gain from it? He doesn’t owe me this!”.

I suppose I’d just like to know if anyone else has gradually changed their priorities with horses, or even stopped riding altogether because of a feeling of malaise?

These days I get so much more pleasure from just pampering Rocky than anything else! I have a competition at the end of the month which I’m kind of using as a One Last Time sort of thing…
 
I think it's lovely you are considering this so much.

Personally, I'm happy to still ride as I've done lots of hippy horsemanship things like 'natural horsenanship' (I hate the term but most people know what sort of what I mean) clicker training, liberty and worked with behaviourists so I'm confident mine is happy to be ridden and I'd recognise the signs he's not. I've tweaked what we do so it's activities he likes. He's always tacked up loose so plenty of opportunity to say 'no thanks' and I'll honour that. Even though we've been together years, there's still a checklist I run through to check I've got permission to get on and if it's a no, that's fine - it rarely ever is but I think the important thing isn't that he's ridden horse or not per se, but that he knows he's listened too. I remember being told 'What value does yes have, if no isn't an option' and that's really stuck.

For those that always competed, I think it can sometimes feel like competing is the be all and end all and part of the identity of being an 'acconished horse person" but there's so much in between that's still meaningful whether that's ridden or not.

I've not had regular competition opportunities all my life so I've never felt my identity is tied to that - although I have competed and still dabble - so over the years I've embraced things to make our own fun and explored what I think he'll enjoy and will help our relationship - that's ranged from learning massage, essential oils/herb sessions, doing yoga with him, playing at liberty to horse agility to in-hand classical work to riding, long hacks, taking part in Trec and all sorts in-between.

Enjoy the exploration :) There's no right or wrong providing you are both enjoying yourselves.
 
Last edited:
Completely agree with you , I ve ridden today but always ask my horses permission. If he isn't up for being saddled up we go for a walk in hand or just a groom or even a scratch and turn back out. Co operation is key.i don't compete,used too to years ago but not now it doesn't interest me. I don't even watch horse stuff on the TV but I love love love pampering mine and just being around them.
 
I can't say my priorities changed, as I have never really competed. Horses have always just been a past time. But I can say I've stopped feeling like that makes me less of a horse person, or lesser in any way. I am more confident about saying that my pony will do what she is fit for, what she enjoys and what she needs for ongoing soundness and I am not missing out on anything by not competing or pushing her to do more. We have a weekly lesson with our behaviourist instructor and I get more out of that than anything else.

None of them owe any of us anything. They never asked for the lives we give them and they don't get to make their own choices.

I hate seeing people enjoy riding a clearly unhappy horse. Whether that's through ignorance, or just putting their own pleasure above the horse's comfort. Horses with their mouths strapped shut, head tied down, spurs on. Kids being taught to just whip the pony to make it do the thing. Why are people enjoying it? How is that fun?
 
I've brought several field companions into ridden work and they've all been fitter, healthier and more content in work than out. But they've only been used for hacking (although with plenty of canter work). Domestic horses were bred to work.
I do keep mine out 24/7 with constant company, no hard feed and minimal rugging and I think this keeps them hardy.
Mixture of TBs and natives.
 
I know exactly what you mean. I have recently started riding again after not riding since I was a teenager. I’m at a riding school which is a whole other can of worms, at least with your own horse you know exactly what level of care it’s getting.

I do find myself lying awake at night sometimes wondering if the horse I ride is happy.

That being said I do think horses benefit from from being owned and many seem to enjoy being ridden.

I think horse sport is generally not great for horses and causes many more issues than general leisure owning.

My 4 year old has started lessons also. I’m not keen on how much kids ponies get moved on once out grown, I get why it’s necessary but it’s a bit shit for them.

If I do get a horse in the future I would look at something older that I could give a home to forever. I’ve seen a 17 year old ex polo pony I would love but the timing just isn’t right.

I don’t know what the answer is, like you I enjoy being around horses in general just as much as I like riding.
 
IrishMilo said:
Thankfully I’m a long term poster because I'm fully aware of how goading this post sounds! But as I become more aware of the psychology of horses, their pain cues, and just the general sentiment that making animals do things for our pleasure is wrong, I can’t shake this feeling.

I’ve been struggling with the motivation to ride for about a year, and I feel like part of it is that maybe it just doesn’t sit right with me anymore.

Maybe it’s because the horse I have now is very sensitive and I feel like we’re genuinely in tune with each other. Or just that the world is waking up to all of the micro ways in which we mistreat animals.

Don’t get me wrong, when I’m riding, I love it, but I’m losing my love for watching competition, taking part in them or just generally anything where I think “Why would I make my horse do this when he has nothing to gain from it? He doesn’t owe me this!”.

I suppose I’d just like to know if anyone else has gradually changed their priorities with horses, or even stopped riding altogether because of a feeling of malaise?

These days I get so much more pleasure from just pampering Rocky than anything else! I have a competition at the end of the month which I’m kind of using as a One Last Time sort of thing…
Click to expand...

I get where you're coming from, I also get more enjoyment from caring for my horse (also named Rocky but a mare, everyone seems to think that Rocky is a boy's name) than riding these days but I'm not ready to give up riding just yet, I still go for a wander round the block which Rocky is quite happy to do. What I don't like is people who insist their horses do things they obviously don't enjoy or doesn't suit their abilities, etc.

And what I find really wierd when you think about it is side saddle! Astride is the obvious way to sit on a horse, yet someone invented side saddle because women couldn't possibly have something between their legs! If you think about it, it makes far more sense for men to ride side saddle!
 
seriously festive equine said:
I think some horses are born to ride. they obviously love it. You can tell when a competition horse loves its job, and its happy to do it. Depends on the horse i think.
Click to expand...
Not calling you out directly with this quote because you're not wrong, but I see a lot of people say a horse loves their job, when I see a stressed horse just holding it together tbh.
 
I'm in a bit of a different situation because my boy's unridden/retired and has been since I got him. But I work on the principle that, as long as his life is as good as possible in the 23hr a day where he's not working, and as long as what I do with him doesn't cause him distress, it's okay for me to 'borrow' him for one hour (even if he might sometimes want to stay in his field munching fresh hay instead.)
 
smolmaus said:
Not calling you out directly with this quote because you're not wrong, but I see a lot of people say a horse loves their job, when I see a stressed horse just holding it together tbh.
Click to expand...
I totally get that too. There is far more sad stressed overworked comp horses (and 'pet' horses) then there are ones who love their job in my experience. But there are the few that have landed on their feet with excelent riders who care and they seem to love their work.
 
I understand what you mean - for me, at least, I don’t often make mine do stuff he doesn’t want. We school for his fitness, back for his fun ( and we do the occasional dressage test for me!!) it works well for us I think, but if he didn’t want to be ridden any more I think I’d pack up shop and let him do his thing.

I only ride 2 months a year now anyway!
 
I hack a mare who likes to go out. If you take her in the school, her eye is turned to the tracks outside the entrance gate.
stangs said:
it's okay for me to 'borrow' him for one hour
Click to expand...
It is not borrowing him. It is working him. Michael Peace at a demo one said that people had to earn their keep and horses had to do the same.
 
I have definitely ridden at least 2 horses that were much happier and healthier in work. Modern horses are bred far away from natives who wander freely across plains, they are generally stuck in lush fields and stables and need exercise.

If someone wasn't a happy ridden horse then I wouldn't ride but my old bird absolutely loved exploring and a long very fast gallop which only riding could provide really.
 
Skib said:
It is not borrowing him. It is working him. Michael Peace at a demo one said that people had to earn their keep and horses had to do the same.
Click to expand...
My boy has had enough misery in his life being exploited by people who couldn't have cared less about his longevity or welfare. He sure as hell doesn't need to earn his keep with me.
 
I am 50/50 on this, if Dex feels sour or tired or similar then I would tailor the work to suit how he's feeling. If he is showing displeasure at something then I reevaluate to make sure it's clear what I have asked of him, and I think this approach goes a long way to creating his positive/wanting to work with you mindset. He's never been pushed too far, over threshold, bullied/forced or told off for trying, and his attitude compared to ridden horses I have bought before is astounding. He's never worn a gadget, saddle regularly fitted, I don't ride with spurs or a whip and he wears the bit he tells me he prefers within reason, I hack in a pelham for safety for us both and he's soft and responsive in it.

He has downtime for 160 hours a week, I don't ask much from him and the trade in our relationship is that he allows me to ride, and I do my best to make sure a) he has the best life I can provide, and b) that work is as enjoyable as possible for him.

ETA: he isn't 'earning' his keep, he would be kept in the best way I can keep him even if he isn't able to be ridden, I think earning his keep would insinuate that his value to me would decrease if he couldn't work which isn't the case. However, all the time he is able, we have a trade.
 
Last edited:
Skib said:
Michael Peace at a demo one said that people had to earn their keep and horses had to do the same.
Click to expand...
I have heard many good things about Michael, but this isn't one of them.

If a horse is fit, healthy and has friends, food, forage then a little bit of work for enrichment or exercise is a good thing but they don't have to "earn" being cared for. That is your very basic responsibility as an owner. Like saying a toddler has to earn their keep when you chose to have a child.
 
I've been feeling similarly for a while. When horse shopping online, my eye is drawn to the badly fitting tack, pain faces, weak conformation, tight contact behind the vertical etc. And I'm not talking about bin end, cheap horses either. I find myself asking 'how many of these animals ACTUALLY enjoy being ridden?

There are a scary number of 'I've had horses for 30+ years' people who are very confident in their misinformation as well, and the 'show them who's boss' mentality is still trickling down to new owners who are soon taught to ignore their horses communication and chalk it down to 'naughtiness'.

I do think there are a small handful of people out there who put the horse first, use ridden work for fitness and health reasons more than for their own pleasure of being on their backs, but they do seem to be the minority.

Skib said:
It is not borrowing him. It is working him. Michael Peace at a demo one said that people had to earn their keep and horses had to do the same.
Click to expand...

I think that's hardly an argument in this day and age. For most people horses are an expensive, elite hobby, they're not ploughing fields or used as the only means of transport like before cars were invented. Do cats, dogs and other animals in our care have to 'earn their keep' somehow?
 
I often ponder this myself, if I'm totally honest with myself we do a lot of things with horses that don't sit right with me. But I love riding. I find peace with myself that I give my horses absolutely everything in my power for them to have a "good" life and be as comfortable as possible in their work, and I ask the bare minimum of them really. If a horse genuinely doesn't like its job, I wouldn't force the issue. I remember having a XC lesson once with a very good rider, my horse had refused this one fence several times and I said I think we should call it a day and move on. She asked me "but what would you do if you were at a competition and your horse didn't like the fence?" my honest answer - put my hand up, retire and call it a day. I think it can often be the difference between what makes people very good competitive riders or not, I know I will never have that drive or motivation to put a result over how my horse is feeling that day.
 
You have word for word written how I've been feeling. Exactly.

I've gone from eventing nut to questioning whether I even agree with the notion of horse riding. I struggle to care about it even when talking to friends and our riding/horses as im just not sure what the 'point' of it is. Surely horses have the right to just exist, not exist for our enjoyment. I'm casually riding at a riding school in the hope to improve my riding if I ever get another horse but I'm so unsure on how I feel about it all.

But yes feel Exactly the same.
 
Somewhat Off The Way said:
Will those of you who are determined that horses shouldn't have to work be willing to take on and care for all of our horses if we have to give them up because they can't be ridden anymore? I'd definitely get cheaper companion animals if I couldn't ride anymore.
Click to expand...
Why would you have to give them up if they can't be ridden?
 
Just to clarify, I'd give up my horses in that fictional scenario. All my horses have a home with me for life, whether they can be ridden in the future or not for whatever reason. Because they've done their best for me so I'll do my best for them.
 
I'm in the 50/50 camp really - I don't mind riding but equally I'm content not to ride for long periods of time :)

My only ridden horse Baggs was supposed to be retired when I got my young horse Rabbit, but he started showing signs of being bored and the usual walk out in hand wasn't cutting it for him.

I had a thorough health check done on him, including x-rays etc to make sure that I knew exactly what I was dealing with in terms of his body, and once they all came back, I had an extensive discussion with my vet, chiro, physio and equine podiatrist, who were all in agreement that he would benefit from some gentle plodding around but that he wouldn't stand up to cantering or galloping every time we rode (I'm more of a plod and smell the roses kinda rider anyway so I don't mind in the slightest!).

So with his permission, I slowly brought him back into work and looked for the signs where he wasn't happy with what we were doing.

I've stripped the tack back to a bridle with no noseband and a simple snaffle bit, with a monoflap saddle as that's what he goes best in, but I do also ride bareback occasionally too :) He tells me quite happily to sod off if he isn't in the mood for riding (in which case we go for a hand walk or do some liberty work), but he also tells me when he's excited to go and do some work by eagerly trying to put his bridle on and flinging the bag his hoof boots are kept in at me 🤣

He wants for nothing, has the absolute best of everything and I prioritise him over what I want every time - the other day I really wanted to go for a ride, but Baggs wasn't feeling it, so I cancelled the plans that I had made with some friends, and instead Baggs and I hung out in the field. I read some more of my book and he grazed happily with Rabbit next to him. They came over occasionally to investigate, but bar that we were all perfectly happy in each others company and chilled. It was heaven ❤️.

I have changed my views quite a bit since I started riding - I now don't bother competing as all I see are stressed owners, riders and horses - it's not fun so I don't do it x
 
My pony is currently not ridden as we found changes in her hocks after lameness and we’ve been getting treatment for it.
I’ve been walking her out all winter but I’ve been given the go ahead by vet and physio to start riding again but so far I’ve only sat on her for a couple of minutes.

I absolutely adore the wee beastie. Everytime I look at her she makes me happy and I loved riding her but the thought of hurting her is such a worry. When my friend came to pick us up for outings she would march on the trailer as she loved friend’s horse and seemed to enjoy getting out with them.
Unfortunately friend left so don’t have her to ride with and field mate is now retired. I do believe she enjoyed being ridden with them for company but I know she isn’t so fond of it by herself and I think that is another reason I’m not in any desperate hurry to get her back ridden.

Riding is fun on a keen horse but it is definitely the ownership that I enjoy best.
 
Somewhat Off The Way said:
Will those of you who are determined that horses shouldn't have to work be willing to take on and care for all of our horses if we have to give them up because they can't be ridden anymore? I'd definitely get cheaper companion animals if I couldn't ride anymore.
Click to expand...

I'm possibly going to stand out like a sore thumb - but yeah I would - in a heartbeat without any regard for the fact that they can't be ridden any more.

Horses don't ask to be ridden, they allow us the honour - if they decide they don't want to be ridden any more then that isn't their problem.
 
Somewhat Off The Way said:
Will those of you who are determined that horses shouldn't have to work be willing to take on and care for all of our horses if we have to give them up because they can't be ridden anymore? I'd definitely get cheaper companion animals if I couldn't ride anymore.
Click to expand...

Well there are a lot of us on here who unknowingly bought broken horses and had our riding dreams shattered in one way or another. It puts things into perspective when you realise that they're still just as important to you when they can't be ridden anymore.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top