The New Yard ...famous last words

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prieot

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Just for a bit of fun, thought I'd do my list of "what they say when you go to a new yard" ...just never seems to work out the same way, i.e. the opposite is more often true ;)

We always have good grass here
We don't allow bitching
Don't worry - there'll be no more horses coming
The dogs never leave any mess
The school is always kept well maintained
Just let us know if there are any problems
Everyone's treated the same here
We have regular competitions and social events
We regularly invite top trainers
Ask us for help if you need it - we're very experienced
 
Next month we are building an indoor school/bigger stables/car park/new fences....take your pick. None of the above ever arrived.
 
Next month we are building paddocks. Look, we have already dug holes for the posts.

The second part of the sentence was true but no paddock was ever built (and therefore you couldn't even graze your horse in hand in the field as the danger of him stepping into one of the holes was very real!)

ETA: This was a former yard, obv!
 
What I say:
"No frills, what you see is what you get, if you want pretty my friend up the road does full board for 500 a month."

One rule : "No dogs"

Informal.

What I mean:
No frills, what you see is what you get. Your horse will be happy and healthy regardless.

One rule: No dogs, this is not negotiable, mine will do their utmost to see yours off from their yard, it is a noisy process, and it irritates me.

Informal - this is my home, my yard. Yes, I do wander in and out of the place, my horses live here too, but I'll not interfere, offer advice unless asked, or do more than pass the time of day politely. You can turn up when you like, and ride wherever you like - if the gate is open, use the trails, the jumps, the track, the sand field, dig out.
 
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"We don't allow bitching"
What a load of rubbish! I've never known a yard with at least a bit of gossip.. you can't really enfore that rule!!
 
"Yes, we can do grass livery."

(Except when it floods or the hunt is in the vicinity, in which case, you'll soon find that a stable is a necessity). The option being to house your prized possession in a leaky old barn, buy straw from the YO, then lose said straw later when the YO brings in the sheep for lambing, shearing, worming etc
 
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I only graze, every place I've been has said 'yep, you'll be free to manage your paddock as you like' - only to turn out their ponies into my nicely poopicked field, not clean up, and complain when my horse beats the bejesus out of them(there's a reason I NEED separate grazing, which I always tell grazers up front!), chuck a hundred sheep in there on two acres for a week, 'borrow' my fencing units and rearrange the fences while I'm out riding, then complain as the paddock has turned to mud and take to tying my horses in the shed alongside farm equipment to stop them pacing (they had nothing better to do, your sheep ate all the grass!) I do add this wasn't ALL at the one place! I sound bitter but I have been some nice places too!
 
can i be really smug as I have FINALLY found a yard that does everything in OP's post with no horrid surprises, no atmosphere and no bitching- bliss! :)
 
YO says: I don't allow bitching on my yard.
Really Means: I am in fact the biggest bitch on my yard by a country mile

YO says: We have all year turn out
Really means: there will be a bazzillion horses on a postage stamp sized mud bath

YO says; Everyone is treated the same
Really means: No, they're not. People (and their horses) are treated in accordance with who my favourite is for that week. If you're not it, you will suddenly find you're a rubbish and neglectful owner and I am tired of running around after you in my imagination. Oh and your horse is responsible for x, y and probably z. If you're my favourite that week I will be following your every move and giving you the benefit of my limited experience and then if you don't follow it watch out!


We moved from the yard above, we now have a great yard where the YO showed us around and gave a pretty honest and accurate appraisal. I feel very,very fortunate to have my horse there
 
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"YO says: I don't allow bitching on my yard.
Really Means: I am in fact the biggest bitch on my yard by a country mile"

Hell yer!! Why is that nearly always the case!:confused:
 
This is a DIY yard and thats all we offer.


We will, however, consistently tell you how to look after your horse, what to/not to feed it, tell you how everything should be done and generally get involved when not needed. BUT Think of this as an advantage as we are not charging for this service.

Bitchyness is not allowed.... I sadly don't think I have been to any yard where that has happened. I have been told that many times and usually its the people who tell you that rule who are the worst.
 
" yes you can restrict grazing"
meant- by either muzzling the horse onto the whole field which had 1ft grass on it, fertilised 2x year, or by only turning out for an hour......

"come anytime"
changed to we close at 8pm

" we offer daily turnout"
was actually an hour or so in the menage in the winter.

lots of places are nightmares!

smug to say current place is A* :)
 
skint1 said:
YO says: I don't allow bitching on my yard.
Really Means: I am in fact the biggest bitch on my yard by a country mile

YO says: We have all year turn out
Really means: there will be a bazzillion horses on a postage stamp sized mud bath

YO says; Everyone is treated the same
Really means: No, they're not. People (and their horses) are treated in accordance with who my favourite is for that week. If you're not it, you will suddenly find you're a rubbish and neglectful owner and I am tired of running around after you in my imagination. Oh and your horse is responsible for x, y and probably z. If you're my favourite that week I will be following your every move and giving you the benefit of my limited experience and then if you don't follow it watch out!
Click to expand...

OMG, the above sounds exactly like my old yard!!!

On a new and much better yard now, though unfortunatly is also guilty of a few fibs!

"24/7 turnout is no problem" - but I like horses stabled at night so I will nit pic about odd things that make this hard for you instead of just saying I would prefer you to stable your horses at night (we never turnout after rain so fields are saved and are still imaculate).

"We are going to make x,y, z changes soon, would you like first refusal on new x"? - well, we do mean to and we thought of the ideas. If any of them do actually happen then I will 'forget' that I offered you the option to move into new x.

"you have your diy fee and you can add other hay options that we offer as you need and I will bill you accordingly at the end of the month" - I have time to cash your cheques but can't be bothered to make up different bills. I also would like like the money so I will just charge you for a full months extras anyway.

Rather annoying, am trying to ignore them for the time being but they are niggly!
 
Oh god - maybe it is just me.....

Present YO - definate favourites - my mare and foal have been in their own field (approx 1.5 acres) since mid June. Other three have shared the remaining 6 acres including the "winter field" that was going to be "rested all spring and summer" so we could all benefit come winter. (I have had to hay and feed 2 x daily all summer). What I thought was a cheap yard has turned out really expensive due to the amount of feeding I have had to do.

I asked her whether I could put my mare in the small paddock nearest the stables at night when she was due to foal - I was told no way - we use that for riding in - they have used it all summer day and night to graze their own horses.....

They fill their own trough 6 inches from mine and don't bother filling mine when I am always topping up their trough.

They get me to buy drinks and refreshments for their numerous grossly overweight kids but have mine even so much has received a polo off them - like heck they have.

They use the wheelbarrow and my fine tined fork and leave it as far away from my field as possible to make it even more time consuming to clear the field.

Get in a strop with me when I stopped their horses from fighting in the driveway right next to my car and 4 yo daughter by shoving them in their field and closing the gate (let out to get more grass). I told them that they were fighting because the pony was behaving like a rig and mounting the mare thus pi@@ing off the other gelding but I was told that that could not be happening as the mare would not allow it - I told them to check her chestnut back for grey hairs and they just snorted and told me not to touch their horses.

My mare and foal have been blamed for going through the unelectrified electric tape, because YO could not be bothered to put a battery on it, to get to the better grazing. YO said tape "had no knots in it when you came" - no way - it already had about 20 in it.

Blamed for breaking hosing to water troughs even though it is on the other side (their side) of the fence.

Told off for using the muck heap - well they took the muck heap away, put a fence up to hold new one and now we cannot use it "until it is ready"

Promised to get a generator when the nights started to close in - no generator.

Said it was a good idea to bury the water pipes like I suggested rather than leave them hanging from the fence - however still not buried so at the first sign of frost, pipes will freeze immediately and I am going to have to carry water up yard twice/three times a day.

Spread their own poo with a harrow while I have to poo pick regularly.

Oh and generally swear at their kids (little ones) in front of mine - sorry I don't like that type of bad language in front of my kids and calling a 6 year old a little bit** is out of order! Behaving like a bunch of chavs....

Handing in my notice v shortly so I can go to a nice yard with electricity and running water as a minimum..... I work full time, have two small children a horse, foal and small pony so don't have time for any of this cra*!!

Few - really pleased I have now got that off my chest.......
 
"Of course you can put a shelter and fencing up"
But Im going to put a third onto your grass keep 'as you are dong all this work', AND I want to see a picture/brochure of the shelter before you put it up....The other livery over the drive didnt have to do that!!

"Just keep everything tidy and you wont see me"
Keep the place immaculate and she is on my case all the time!

I keep thinking I should ask the ponies to poo green so that it isnt a mess between my daily poo pickings!
 
fatpiggy said:
Good grief Mcnaughty - how have you managed to last so long there? I'd have been gone so fast I'd have created sonic booms!
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Thanks Fatpiggy - I have just called YO and handed in notice - I was really very very nervious about doing it but now feel much happier.

One thing I did not add was that YO told me that when I wean my foal (I am going to wean at point of sale) I could not use the stabling in case the mare broke it. I had to leave her out! My god - she would have gone straight through all the fencing - electric and post and rail to get to her baby!

Her passing comment to me just now on the phone was "if she damages anything at weaning you will have to pay" to which I gleefully pointed out that I was not weaning at her yard but my new one.
 
"The jumps are always put away after use"

In other words YOU will have to put away the jumps after everyne else before you can't even attempt to ride as they are all on the track so you can't even go around them :mad:
 
"We will get this all lit up by the hosepipe" - no lighting ever

"We don't do gossip" - YO gossips constantly, creating an atmosphere of distrust and judgement

"We will get a heater/toilet/hard standing/gravel". We will not.

"We will have lighting up to the field" - never

"We have plenty of storage for your stuff" - until we squeeze a few more liveries in and then restrict you to 2 palletes

"We share vet visits" - we sabotage your own and take all the vets time away from you, who are paying.

"We buy our own hay" - we fall out over hay

"Everyone is treated the same" - some have preferrentail rates and get more communication than a "Seeya" as they leave the Yard and a forced smile as they enter
 
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When you 1st make that call to a new yard on the phone, and ask...
(Q)How big are your fields (A) O, we have over 50 acres...
Then you get to the yard and there is about 2 acres of land in total :(
(Q) Do you have a sand school (A) yes, we have the best !!!
And the sand school has large puddles in it, and is very deep with builders sand for a surface, and a make do garden gate, that's ties to the y.o tow-bar on their car :) "funny"
I could go on & on & on
 
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