CanadianGirl
Well-Known Member
When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!". Or, "That's not a riding horse!". 
The things non-horsey people say
- Thread starter black_horse
- Start date
Mike007
Well-Known Member
When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!". Or, "That's not a riding horse!".
Maybe they are right
labruyere
Well-Known Member
yes we all get the 'still having lessons one',
usually from 'horsey' people though -
as in :- once i learnt to ride i stopped having lessons
(i normally reply that tiger woods doesn't have a coach either ?!)
but amazed no-one's yet mentioned
riding's not a sport, you just sit there and the horse does all the work
(normally explain this one with figure skating analogy - looks effortless til you see them sitting outside waiting for the scores, complete with oxygen masks)
and the absolute classic
i rode a horse once
it bolted off and threw me
(launched into a couple of strides of trot and they slid off the side)
usually from 'horsey' people though -
as in :- once i learnt to ride i stopped having lessons
(i normally reply that tiger woods doesn't have a coach either ?!
)but amazed no-one's yet mentioned
riding's not a sport, you just sit there and the horse does all the work
(normally explain this one with figure skating analogy - looks effortless til you see them sitting outside waiting for the scores, complete with oxygen masks
)and the absolute classic
i rode a horse once
it bolted off and threw me
(launched into a couple of strides of trot and they slid off the side)
xxMozlarxx
Well-Known Member
When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!". Or, "That's not a riding horse!".
Better than 'cart horse'
Box_Of_Frogs
Well-Known Member
Stepdaughter's hubby was watching me bring my horse in from the field one day. He spotted the "FULL" tag on the headcollar and asked with a smile, Oh, does it say "EMPTY" when he gets hungry then? Priceless!
DressageCob
Well-Known Member
I was once riding my little cob with my friend on her cob, on the beach at Ainsdale. This man came over to us and started shouting about how loads of metal had gone missing in the area, tiles stolen from a church roof etc. We were sat there going right, but how does this affect us? He then started shouting at us for being "gypsies".
We're not gypsies, we were just riding coloured cobs And they were fully clipped out, no feathers or hairiness either.
You've got to laugh I don't know where he thought we'd put the church tiles...
We're not gypsies, we were just riding coloured cobs
And they were fully clipped out, no feathers or hairiness either. You've got to laugh
I don't know where he thought we'd put the church tiles...Pixxie
Well-Known Member
One afternoon at college I was speaking to a friend and mentioned how tired I was as I'd ridden my horse and mucked out eight before coming to college at 12 and that after I finished at 6 I needed to go back. Well she was completely horrified and along with my lecturer exclaimed "what?! You have to do them everyday?! Can't they just look after themselves?" My reply went along the lines of...... Yes I do twice a day actually well until they grow opposable thumbs at least :/ I was a little concerned
midnight mayhem
Well-Known Member
Not something he said but did, I asked my OH to fill a couple of haynets for me as I was running late, when I went to check how he was doing he was busy giving the horses their haynets..filled with straw. It all looked the same to him-lucky I didn't ask him to top up their beds-may have used hay! :-/
Jzee
Well-Known Member
Oh how happy my horse would be to be bedded on hay!
My OH started a new job and was talking to a new workmate, turns out he's into racing, so OH asked National Hunt or Flat and the workmate looked confused and said 'You know, the one with throughbreds'... um and then a bit later, Jenna (that's me!) has an ex-racehorse... oh so its not a throughbred any more' ...
Oh and my mum told a friend that I was checking for laminitis when I was picking out their feet!
EquiGal92
Well-Known Member
Don't know if these have been done yet but anyways ,
My Mom says when she sees horses in a field that they are cold without their coats (rugs) on. I insist that if they were wild they wouldn't have humans to put them on for them and that if they have got food and shelther they will be fine - she doesn't always look convinced
When I was first starting out in the horsey world, I was explaining (yet gain to my Mom) about hot, cold and warm blood breeds. She said to me, "how can they be cold blooded, they're not reptiles...?"!!!
,My Mom says when she sees horses in a field that they are cold without their coats (rugs) on. I insist that if they were wild they wouldn't have humans to put them on for them and that if they have got food and shelther they will be fine - she doesn't always look convinced
When I was first starting out in the horsey world, I was explaining (yet gain to my Mom) about hot, cold and warm blood breeds. She said to me, "how can they be cold blooded, they're not reptiles...?"!!!
Queenjude
Well-Known Member
Ha ha ha I love this!
Patterdale
Well-Known Member
This thread ishilarious!
My OH comes out with some corkers. He is a farmer so everything is in farming terms.
He calls worming 'dosing' and asked if I dip them.
He cannot understand why I 'shear' them in winter when it's cold, but not in summer when it's warm.
When I asked him to help change a dressing on my horse once he said 'ok I'll meet u at the cattle race' and actually thought that I would just put her through the crush!
He calls rugs coats but has now got me doing that too! And calls their boots 'bootees' or 'walking pads'
He cannot understand why I don't do their feet myself, like he does with the sheep. He informs me that this would save money.
The first time I was travelling one somewhere I asked him to just give me a hand loading, and he appeared with a piece of blue pipe, raring to go. I explained that it is different to cattle, the horse is supposed to walk in of his own free will
When I was sending a horse to the (nice) sales and said I wanted her in good condition, he asked if they grade them like lambs, and how much per kilo did I expect to get? All this while feeling along her back and squeezing her back end. Had to explain I do not raise horses for meat.
Totally different mentality!
I could go on....he does try but it's hilarious.
Oh and when one of them got a foot abscess he kept enquiring after her 'foot rot!'
My OH comes out with some corkers. He is a farmer so everything is in farming terms.
He calls worming 'dosing' and asked if I dip them.
He cannot understand why I 'shear' them in winter when it's cold, but not in summer when it's warm.
When I asked him to help change a dressing on my horse once he said 'ok I'll meet u at the cattle race' and actually thought that I would just put her through the crush!
He calls rugs coats but has now got me doing that too! And calls their boots 'bootees' or 'walking pads'
He cannot understand why I don't do their feet myself, like he does with the sheep. He informs me that this would save money.
The first time I was travelling one somewhere I asked him to just give me a hand loading, and he appeared with a piece of blue pipe, raring to go. I explained that it is different to cattle, the horse is supposed to walk in of his own free will
When I was sending a horse to the (nice) sales and said I wanted her in good condition, he asked if they grade them like lambs, and how much per kilo did I expect to get? All this while feeling along her back and squeezing her back end. Had to explain I do not raise horses for meat.
Totally different mentality!
I could go on....he does try but it's hilarious.
Oh and when one of them got a foot abscess he kept enquiring after her 'foot rot!'
Patterdale
Well-Known Member
Oh and when I had to have one PTS he referred to it as 'sending her off.'
I explained I'd rather bury her at home and he was very confused, and said 'wont there be any value in the carcass? She's huge, she'll kill out quite well. Waste not want not....I'm only thinking of your vet bill.'
In his mind he was being very kind and considerate, and must admit it did make me laugh at a sad time!
I explained I'd rather bury her at home and he was very confused, and said 'wont there be any value in the carcass? She's huge, she'll kill out quite well. Waste not want not....I'm only thinking of your vet bill.'
In his mind he was being very kind and considerate, and must admit it did make me laugh at a sad time!
varietymix_123
Active Member
My Dad does this too - drives me crazy!!
CatStew
Well-Known Member
very novice horse owner: "I can't understand why my horse won't go out on hacks by herself. She used to be a trail horse"
No, no, actually she wasn't a trail horse at all.. she'd done Trailblazers
A child sitting on a pony for the first time at a riding school I worked at "uuuhh..it's all wobbly!"
No, no, actually she wasn't a trail horse at all.. she'd done Trailblazers
A child sitting on a pony for the first time at a riding school I worked at "uuuhh..it's all wobbly!"
LaurenBay
Well-Known Member
Hahah!!! oh gosh could you imagine the Range Rover owner coming back and finding a Horse tied to it!!
Bluepegasus2802
Well-Known Member
My non-horsey husband comes out with some daft things. My mum has a Shetland pony called Bracken, when my husband used to see him he would ask me if Bracken's toes needed cleaning.
The best one though was when we were eating tea one day, I left some of my beef burger as I had had enough, my husband told me to save it to feed it to Bracken later. He was serious as well!
The best one though was when we were eating tea one day, I left some of my beef burger as I had had enough, my husband told me to save it to feed it to Bracken later. He was serious as well!
Oddjob's Wife
Well-Known Member
This is great! Many are familiar, probably to most of us.
My, sadly departed, grandmother came out with some corkers - the number (numnah), the girdle (girth) and martindale (martingale) were the most frequent.
In the early days, my now educated as owns himself now, OH - his fringe is in his eyes and shall I put his pyjamas/raincoat on? Neither of our horses have forelocks or rugs anymore, they have fringes, raincoats and pyjamas!
From one of the owners in the yard - he's injured his ankle! Is this funnier because it's someone we expect to know the proper term?!!
My, sadly departed, grandmother came out with some corkers - the number (numnah), the girdle (girth) and martindale (martingale) were the most frequent.
In the early days, my now educated as owns himself now, OH - his fringe is in his eyes and shall I put his pyjamas/raincoat on? Neither of our horses have forelocks or rugs anymore, they have fringes, raincoats and pyjamas!
From one of the owners in the yard - he's injured his ankle! Is this funnier because it's someone we expect to know the proper term?!!
FreddiesGal
Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss, this is absolutely hilarious though!
PandorasJar
Well-Known Member
That does my nut! Between non-horsey friends and teaching littluns on a farm, I have picked up lots of words like that and get looked at like I'm mad! Can't for the life of me use the correct words now though!
Helmet is used frequently for hat from explaining why you had to wear a helment on a horse like on a bike!
Pan
Hanzybaby01
Well-Known Member
Haha! Some of these are hilarious!
My poor boyfriend just rolls his eyes whenever I babble on about horse riding. He never seems to say much about them so iv not had any silly comments yet lol
My poor boyfriend just rolls his eyes whenever I babble on about horse riding. He never seems to say much about them so iv not had any silly comments yet lol
Patterdale
Well-Known Member
FreddiesGal yes I know....luckily I have a sense of humour but he was serious! Farmers eh, it's all profit and loss in their world
lydia
Active Member
the one that gets me "that's not exercise, all you do is just sit there"
bumper
Well-Known Member
I posted on my Facebook wall the other day about how disappointed I was that Badminton had been cancelled. Got a very sympathetic response from a non-horsey friend:
"Aww...were you going to be competing?" !!!
"Aww...were you going to be competing?" !!!
wts
New User
Hahahaha loving this thread! My favourite was courtesy of my non-horsey mum last year, following me taking my baby horse to the summer dressage regionals (which it was a huge acheivement just to get there!)
She likes to show interest so asked to see my score sheet, which had the show photographers card attached. She studied the score sheet for a while and then said 'well at least you got a nice photo'.
I was a bit confused until I realised she was referring to the photographers advert- errrr no, that would be Charlotte DuJardin doing a lap of honour complete with sash, rug, top hat and tails..we had just come 23rd in the prelim...
I couldn't even begin to explain to her what was so comical about the comparison!
She likes to show interest so asked to see my score sheet, which had the show photographers card attached. She studied the score sheet for a while and then said 'well at least you got a nice photo'.
I was a bit confused until I realised she was referring to the photographers advert- errrr no, that would be Charlotte DuJardin doing a lap of honour complete with sash, rug, top hat and tails..we had just come 23rd in the prelim...
I couldn't even begin to explain to her what was so comical about the comparison!
TJP
Well-Known Member
Said by the OH- "Why doesn't she like going in her horsey house?" He couldn't remember the word for stable
Brushing the horse for her to go out and roll in the mud again.
Dad- Well what was the point in all that brushing?
Me- Quiet you.
Went to see the ponies on Christmas day, Dad walking across the field too. J boy goes marching on over wondering who this new fellow in his field is (Daddy) and the look of sheer panic in my Dad's face as he said "Quickly, quickly, throw a carrot at it!"
This made me LOL - still giggling in fact. Hubby thinks I have lost it completely..
On Sun a friends husband got very confused. He asked if the pony was the 'baby of the big horse'. I explained that no she wasn't, she was my sons pony and the 'big horse' was a brood mare. Him -'When will she grow that tall?' Me - 'she won't, shes 30 & retired and the broody is 8'. The look of complete confusion was hilarious. It took a while to get the pony/horse thing straight in his head.
At my sons second lesson his instructor asked him if he knew what 'change the rein' meant. He looked at her as if she was completely thick, replied 'yes' and crossed his hands over each other. Bingo - reins changed
LeannePip
Well-Known Member
My dad try's not to talk horses with us but he was on the phone to his friend the other day about how much he loved his car but that he had to sell our Honda CRV so he could get a big car to tow with because 'we now have *small pause* three horses in the family* but he said it in the same voice you'd tell some one you had an incurable disease :L thats what he sees the horses as. incurable :L
he does however give us training tips at the end of competitions. my dad has never as much as sat on a horse but he can tell us exactly what we did wrong. to my mum 'cant you tell maii (mums horse) to put her head down like pip(my horse) does because i think thats what the judges are looking for and you don't make her put her head down' *face to palm* or after jumping its usually - why don't you enter the bigger classes - the horse doesn't know how big the class is'. . . i never understood that one
he does however give us training tips at the end of competitions. my dad has never as much as sat on a horse but he can tell us exactly what we did wrong. to my mum 'cant you tell maii (mums horse) to put her head down like pip(my horse) does because i think thats what the judges are looking for and you don't make her put her head down' *face to palm* or after jumping its usually - why don't you enter the bigger classes - the horse doesn't know how big the class is'. . . i never understood that one
Shantara
Well-Known Member
How about stupid things horsey people say to non-horsey people?
Some random guy (who was very good looking...yes, I got his number!) stopped me in the street and complimented my hat. We got talking and I mentioned horses. He said he was a fitness coach and then asked if I liked Badminton. I said "Oh yea! I used to play all the time at school, but my parents and I have just started going again"
He looked at me funny and said "No, I meant the horse event.."
Whoops!
Some random guy (who was very good looking...yes, I got his number!) stopped me in the street and complimented my hat. We got talking and I mentioned horses. He said he was a fitness coach and then asked if I liked Badminton. I said "Oh yea! I used to play all the time at school, but my parents and I have just started going again"
He looked at me funny and said "No, I meant the horse event.."
Whoops!
EMC
Well-Known Member
My OH calls a Myler combination a My-laar. I forgave him that as most boyfriends wouldn't even know what one is!
At the last livery yard we looked at I found him in the barn with a young fillies head in his arms whispering sweet nothings in her furry ear. I was less than amused ctaching him with 'another woman' but atleast she wasn't human and this does bode well for the 'can we afford another horse' conversation.
Oh and watching Charlotte Dujardin's world record test on H&C TV website he said 'why is she celebrating? the horse did all the work....'
At the last livery yard we looked at I found him in the barn with a young fillies head in his arms whispering sweet nothings in her furry ear. I was less than amused ctaching him with 'another woman' but atleast she wasn't human and this does bode well for the 'can we afford another horse' conversation.
Oh and watching Charlotte Dujardin's world record test on H&C TV website he said 'why is she celebrating? the horse did all the work....'
Lintel
Well-Known Member
" Aw he looks like a giant hamster doesn't he "
Has to be today's big un.
But most of the other stuff on here of- how can he be a pony when he is so old, - or the good old, "OMG, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS WILLY!"
- Too many to mention!
Has to be today's big un.
But most of the other stuff on here of- how can he be a pony when he is so old, - or the good old, "OMG, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS WILLY!"
- Too many to mention!