The Turkey of Fear

Red-1

Red-1

I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
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The perils of visiting a yard to go help people with training their horses... The Turkey Of Fear.
I went to a yard I have been to before, and I know there is poultry there from when I have visited before.

I have previous bad experiences with Geese, but have since been trained by another client with a dominant Gander to show no fear as I would a horse that was invading my space, and have used the "Cape of Power" (my jacket) to provide me with the confidence to walk on by (rather like a bull fighter). I have even progressed to the "gloves of power" as in the gloves are neither here or there for the gander, but it gives me focus to keep my intent clear (and not to turn tail and run!).

So, today I feel confident. I am 10 minutes early for the lesson and so let myself into the yard where the stables are. I see a Turkey and his bride, but hey, I can front up a Gander, and a turkey is much less dominant, like a big chicken, Right? Besides he was here last time I was here, and he was no problem then.

I walk in, and as the (rather larger than I remember) turkey comes over, I get out the "gloves of power" and with confidence step over to the stables.

Hmm, the turkey is pretty persistent, and sadly it appeared that the owner was still in the house. No fear, "gloves of power" at the ready I step towards the exit. Oh no, the Turkey of Fear had me! I looked at me with beady eyes, and came closer. In fact I had to step behind the wheelbarrow.
I tried to front it up, to no avail. I looked around for options and the only fence near enough for a dash would have been into the Goose enclosure. Hmmm, that option did not seem ideal.
The turkey and I walked around each other at the wheelbarrow, but I was under no illusion I would not reach the gate to the house unmolested. The turkey had me. Shall I ring the owner? No, my cell phone is still in the car.

Even I could see the humour in the situation.

I was saved, there was a shavings fork in the barrow. I mentally apologised to the turkey, picked it up and used it as a mobile wall to keep him at a safe distance. He walked, I walked. The shavings fork stayed between us.

He was a clever old thing, that Turkey. He knew. He kept his distance and he escorted me to the gate with dignity.

Note to self ... Gloves of Power do not work on Turkeys. Plus, Turkeys are a lot more scary than I ever realised!
 
When we kept the horses at livery, the yard owner had a Game Cock (named Attila the Hen, by us) He was a viscious and wiley creature and never got you when you had the horse with you, but would wait till you came back from the field on your own, then he would attack your leg! We took to leaving a lunge whip for on the way back, otherwise his spurs would leave 10p piece sized bruises, either side of your knee!
 
Oh my god that was funny...for me reading it I mean...my dad had geese and they were horrid and lived in the orchard where dad put the swings. I didn't cry when the fox got em!
 
You need to meet the peacock of petrification.
If you've never been **** on the head from 10 feet up by a peacock you ain't lived :D
 
Sneaky beasts them Turkeys! Friends had a cottage up in the mountains in Romania .They had various hens and a big old Turkey. The yard had been raided by some sort of Buzzard and an unlucky hen taken. next day my friend noticed the Turkey staggering around .He looked badly injured .Suddenly the Buzzard swooped down to attack . Only to get the absolute ++++ beaten out of him by a large highly aggressive turkey ,who ,it seems ,was also an excellent actor.
 
I have spoken to the lady who taught me to handle her geese. She was in stitches that I thought Turkeys are like large, timid, chickens. She knew Turkeys were worse than her gander.

The saving grace is that her place had full CCTV coverage of me overcoming the geese. The client yesterday with the dominant turkey happily does NOT, so no bad film to share :-)
 
LOL I love this post so much!!! :D

As someone who is totally terrified of birds and had a similar encounter with a pack of chickens, I feel your pain! Although, I had a friend there but all she could do was laugh and nearly wet herself as the whole group of chickens chased me around and around the yard whilst I screamed, still clinging to the feed bucket that was CLEARLY doing the attracting of them! Hehe. The Turkey does sound a character though, I must admit!
 
OMG this is so funny I was laughing so hard I had to run off for a bathroom break. Red and Noodles you have me in tears sorry it must have been really scary for you at then time. But so funny to read and imagine the pair of you!
 
OMG - the gloves of power. Honestly OP I am sorry that you are so fearful, but it was sooo funny to read. So were the other posts too!

One of my uncles used to keep lots of poultry and one of my earliest memories is of him kicking a gander up the bum (gently - he was worth a lot of money) when it refused to come in to roost and turned on him. I was scared stiff the dratted thing was nearly as big as me, but him giving it the boot gave me lifelong confidence! In his case it was more the 'boots of power', perhaps you should try some?
 
We have had turkeys for years and your story had me in stitches!

we have had a couple of aggressive stags over the years, Charlie the first on was given to us and perfectly well behaved till we got him a girlfriend then he was like a tiger in the garden. You could not go outside without a broom for defence, occasionally resulting in games of turkey tennis as he lept at you and you pushed him back with the broom. The second, Oscar, managed to escape from the garden when we were out where he chased people down the footpath dogs and all, then took up station outside the local pub keeping everyone inside till half past four in the aftrnoon. (Pub closed at three) Fortunately they saw the funny side.
 
Noooooo....

You missed the update...

The turkey of LOVE!!!

You may remember the Turkey of Fear last week? The one that chased me round the yard of a client when she was not present? For one reason or another I was not back there until today, to the lair of the Turkey of Fear.

I was up front, and told of my problems, and fears. I was a little dubious to be told (especially after being told by others that Turkeys are worse than geese) that the Turkey was chasing me for a love and a cuddle. Eh?

I was also told that he was a she. TBH I did not get that close.

She did chase me, round the wheelbarrow et al, but apparently because she wanted a cuddle???

I was rather sceptical, but trust the owner, and so met my nemesis again.

I had a cuddle.

She was friendly.
I feel foolish.

We posed for a photo.

At least I never professed to be a poultry expert. I think I am best sticking to horses!
IMG_20150307_1301191_zps2yjrywqk.jpg
 
This thread is hilarious :D

i used to have the cat of carnage all my friends were scared of her and she used to glare at everyone from her "pod" cat bed!
 
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