The worst present your dog has brought you.

[conkers]

Last night my young whippet Cedric came trotting into the room having been in the garden, looking very pleased with himself. He then spat out a massive spider that he had been carrying onto the carpet. Said spider then ran straight at me. It was not fun.

Cedric was then so scared by my scream of terror that he then decided to ignore the spider. Luckily, my other whippet Granville pounced on it. Both boys then proceeded to round it up and sent it my old terriers way. It stuck itself to Coco's face but she is wise to these tricks and just dumfed it and crushed it to death.

I really don't mind the feathers, leaves and random plants he brings in as gifts but I really do draw the line at spiders. What joyous gifts have yours brought you?

 

[skinnydipper]

My dogs have always had room service, with cats providing the mice and on one occasion a rat, which my old JRT dispatched.

Current dog catches flies but she doesn't share.

 

[Prancerpoos]

Not me, but my friend’s GSD came out of some undergrowth and proudly presented her with a deflated blow up doll - just as she had stopped on her horse to chat to some lovely elderly ladies.

 

[Unicorn]

Not me, but my friend’s GSD came out of some undergrowth and proudly presented her with a deflated blow up doll - just as she had stopped on her horse to chat to some lovely elderly ladies.

That's priceless!

Mine appeared with a very dead, very stiff squirrel. When I seemed less than appreciative of this generous gift, she walked off and very stealthily left it next to a random stranger who was admiring the view nearby.

 

[SDMabel]

The Labrador emerged from the reeds of a river carrying a gnarly looking dildo .

I spent ages teaching her to bring dummies to hand , she would drop them at your feet.

She sat in front of me wagging her tail , looking so pleased ... I did not take it from her

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Winnie has brought a few baby rabbits into the kitchen they were still alive.

She once dumped a dead baby partridge on the front room floor

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Winnie has brought a few baby rabbits into the kitchen they were still alive.

She once dumped a dead baby partridge on the front room floor

Couldn't decide whether to press the Laughing or Sad Like reaction to that, so ended up just pressing Like.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Couldn't decide whether to press the Laughing or Sad Like reaction to that, so ended up just pressing Like.

Thankfully as she got older she lost the fun aspect of chasing and catching bunnies and birds, she will still catch and kill mice though and she is really good at it.

 

[islander]

My sister’s border collie x brought her a discarded used tampon from the woods once. Ugh.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Puss cat brought me repeated burger buns in the park, he’d found them in the rough and retrieved them individually instead of his dummy.

Bear brought me the tiniest baby bunny, I’d chucked him a ball. After not knowing what to do with it, Brig just ate it. He then brought a big ‘un whilst out with a new trainer. My OH had to dispatch it, it wasn’t in a good way.

Brig fetched me a crow, flapping madly, he did not know what to do with it but he retrieved it to hand, never having done any kind of training. Fortunately, soft mouthed, he gave it up carefully and it flew off.

Didn’t bring it, but Goose stole a baby crow a few months back. The parents were naturally going crazy and waited for us at the exit of the field later to fly down and thoroughly scold him and me. It was horrifying, the whole flock (murder) were chasing him until I got it off him. Massive, but obviously a baby. I was appalled.

 

[Boulty]

The dead mice that the cat leaves in the garden for him that he then brings in the house to parade with given half the chance aren’t great… he also likes to find stones & pebbles in the garden and bring them into the house to chew… I confiscate so many they have a dedicated container on top of the microwave!

 

[Ratface]

The late Burmese cat used to lie in wait for large river birds and the drag them, still very much alive, through the aft port hole in the wheelhouse. His best effort was a live guillemot - a large water bird with a huge wing span. He heaved it in sideways and watched with glee when it tried to escape his efforts to keep it flapping madly round the confined space. In the end I grabbed him and stowed him in the heads (marine toilets) whilst I opened the wheelhouse doors and shoo-ed the guillemot out. It flapped off and seemed none the worse. The Burmese was beside himself with rage when he was let out and stormed around in a Gollum-esque rage. "Where is it? What's it (me) got in it's pockets . . .??"
His best tricks were stealing expensive sailing gloves and ladies underwear from the posh yachties in the yacht club pond. I used to shove them into the yacht club house post box at dead of night. Bad cat!

 

[Escapade]

ooh I should have put this in the your dog's best feature thread, she doesn't be dealing with such unpleasantness
One of her bezzies, a lovely Rottweiler named Taz, walked every day along the river bank. If there was a pair of jocks to be found, rest assured he would find them. He was pts recently and I am going to sorely miss seeing the elder statesman ambling along with his "treasure"

 

[Widgeon]

A porn magazine.

We were wild camping in Wales and spaniel ran off and came back with several pages. He paraded his treasure around before we got hold of it and confiscated it. Off we he went again and came back with more! This time we followed him and found a whole magazine blowing around on the edge of the tarn....bit sad really (for a number of reasons!?). Hysterical though - it was years ago and we still reference the incident!

 

[Rumtytum]

Many years ago I would go early morning running along country lanes with our working gundog English springer Kes who was a good boy off lead. This particular morning as he trotted along beside me I noticed something white dangling out of either side of his mouth. We stopped and on command he dropped a large Dr White’s sanitary towel, patently one of those used on ‘heavy’ days

 

[skinnydipper]

Please can we have a puking emoji on the 'like' button panel?

 

[Widgeon]

We stopped and on command he dropped a large Dr White’s sanitary towel, patently one of those used on ‘heavy’ days

Oh no, oh no

 

[Clodagh]

Red brings me a dog poo on the last evening stroll. I think it’s because she’s worried that I’ve missed it on poo patrol. ( it’s in our orchard). She doesn’t eat them so much now but has decided if I want them so much I can have them.

 

[Widgeon]

@Cinnamontoast your dogs sound hard as nails. Or a bit stupid. Or both??! That's quite a catalogue.....

ETA in fairness most dogs are quite stupid at times, I guess it's just that they have rather different priorities to us. I wasn't intending to insult your dogs personally!

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

@Cinnamontoast your dogs sound hard as nails. Or a bit stupid. Or both??! That's quite a catalogue.....

ETA in fairness most dogs are quite stupid at times, I guess it's just that they have rather different priorities to us. I wasn't intending to insult your dogs personally!

Dunno, it was 3 different dogs, Brig was totally unmotivated by balls, but the first time he saw a dummy, he was on it and very keen on birds, to the point of catching lots of pigeons and once a moorhen and eating them. To be fair, he was dementia dog by then.

Goose has a very high prey drive but comes away when asked. He’s now on lead until we pass the crow area where they all gather. It was awful watching him streak across the field pursued by a group of extremely upset crows.

Also, we’re going back almost 20 years, Brig was our first dog.

 

[Rumtytum]

@Cinnamontoast your dogs sound hard as nails. Or a bit stupid. Or both??! That's quite a catalogue.....

ETA in fairness most dogs are quite stupid at times, I guess it's just that they have rather different priorities to us. I wasn't intending to insult your dogs personally!

Kes the springer mentioned above was a brilliant working dog. He was also extremely well bred but a bit…dare I say it … dim. We nicknamed him Bertie Wooster

 

[Coblover63]

Not exactly bringing, more giving back. Our pups are fed raw. We'd got up, they'd had breakfast and been outside for toileting. Hubby and I then take a cup of tea back up to bed for half an hour before we start the day and the pups are allowed onto the bed. We all got settled when one of the pups unexpectedly regurgitated her breakfast onto the duvet.... raw mince, tripe and a few chicken hearts for good measure! Along with stomach liquid. Yep, despite my speed, it soaked straight into my feather duvet!

 

[toppedoff]

Nothing so far.. my cane corso greets people at the door with soft toys

 

[Rumtytum]

Please can we have a puking emoji on the 'like' button panel?

After Coblover’s post I definitely want a on the panel

 

[Moobli]

A used condom

 

[misst]

A flyblown falling apart stinking very dead carp from the bank of the lake - then she rolled in the carcass when I was not keen on taking it. I threw her back into the lake to wash the fish scales off!
And the lower half of a long dead deer leg complete with hoof attached. I have a photo somewhere of her dragging it down a path like a lion who'd just brought down prey. She was SO pleased with that one she wanted to put it in the car.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Please can we have a puking emoji on the 'like' button panel?

It is a real necessity, more so now than ever!

 

[P3LH]

A large sex toy, from the bushes, then paraded around a large number of the public which she refused to give me.


A pair of girlfriends undies, the type reserved for high days and special occasions, as I was at the door talking to a pair of religious callers.

A freshly killed hare, not to me per say, but toward me via a large group of picnickers with children who, prior to this, were having what I imagine was a very nice time.


We also had a spaniel, responsible for the hare incident, who had loved to drink stagnant water. It always made him sick. Usually in people’s laps. Including strangers if they would fuss him.

Gross creatures at times.


Edited as I realise when typing this both the spaniel and the current Pem bitch did similar with pants and religious callers!!! They’ve merged into one! Perhaps I am just drawn to dogs who are slight perverts.

 

[P3LH]

Oh and one of the terriers once brought me a very much alive, very small and very sweet badger cub. Not so sweet when having to be handled. Clearly quite miffed about the whole thing. Dropped literally into my lap as I sat by the river watching the world go by. I’m not sure whether her intentions were pure as she was a bushing dog, but she had a penchant for baby things so I’d like to think so.

She frequently retrieved feral kittens (young ones, eyes closed or blue eyed, basically before they were old enough to try maul her face). People began to fear my motives when asking them if they were either a cat lover or had a mouse problem, as knew what was coming.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Oh and one of the terriers once brought me a very much alive, very small and very sweet badger cub. Not so sweet when having to be handled. Clearly quite miffed about the whole thing. Dropped literally into my lap as I sat by the river watching the world go by. I’m not sure whether her intentions were pure as she was a bushing dog, but she had a penchant for baby things so I’d like to think so.

She frequently retrieved feral kittens (young ones, eyes closed or blue eyed, basically before they were old enough to try maul her face). People began to fear my motives when asking them if they were either a cat lover or had a mouse problem, as knew what was coming.

Oh my god!!! What did you do with it?
The odd kitten, maybe just the once, tabby long haired one I could deal with