There's a child on the yard. Rules?

Sleipnir said:
Oh yes, this as well. I enjoy answering questions and sharing experience with young horse enthusiasts, but not if the questions are dropped senselessly and the answers forgotten a second later.
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Kids are " trained" to do this.................. ignore them, it annoys them more than they annoy you.
 
I'm kinda irritated by the posters saying that having negative feelings towards children at the yard is miserable and sour. The last thing I want when I'm paying £500 per month to keep my horse at livery is to have to listen to other people's kids screaming and shouting and tolerate them throwing sticks around in the barn and running into the back of my horse while he's in the cross ties. I'm not working 60 hours a week to enable me to pay for my horse only to then be unable to use the indoor school at the yard because there's a pack of kids in there wailing and dashing around encouraging the dogs to dig holes in the surface. It's a livery yard, not a crèche. I have no problem with well behaved kids who have an interest in their horse or pony being there. In fact, I think that's great! But when the non-horsey siblings are also carted along, turned loose and left to run wild I have a big problem with this. I don't think expecting to be able to enjoy my horse without worrying about the safety of other people's children makes me a child-hater.
 
PolarSkye said:
Rules? You're only allowed to eat one . . .

. . . I'll get me coat . . .

P
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Even if they are tiny? Drat! :D

I think it depends on the children and those responsible for them, really. I don't mind them as long as they don't do anything that is actually dangerous or harmful. In saying that, I won't keep an eye out for them either. I don't buy into the whole "needing a village to raise a child thing" - either take care of them properly yourself or pay someone else to do so.
 
I think they should have the same rules as adults do. No running, shouting or screaming fits for both adults and kids. Regardless of the age, people shouldn't be going in with anyone else's horse unless it's an emergency like a foot stuck in a haynet, tangled in a rug, etc. I don't agree with kids not being allowed to turn out, the kids have to learn how to care for their own pony at some stage.
Although I do think if under 13 then they should have parents on the yard, older than that they're old enough to look after themselves. Rules should be all in a contract and the rules should apply to everybody even if they're aimed at keeping children under control, otherwise you could cause an uproar of a ageism battle from angry parents
 
I was riding a friend's horse in the school and coming out of the gate when a child swings on it (not closing it, just stood on the gate for a ride) and it hit the horses um. Horse bolts with me clinging on for dear life, gallops across the car park, goes to jump a fiesta, thinks better of it so just jumps the bonnet, then takes himself into his stable with me cracking my head on the lintel, breaking my hat and ending up with concussion.

Does child get reprimanded, no I get banned for 'allowing' the horse to gallop through the car park...
 
I'd be a bit worried about the competence of a YO that permitted children to run riot and dig up the ménage or some of the other antics described.
Good YO's run a tight ship where adults and children can enjoy being on the yard without inconveniencing people who have a normal tolerance level.
Those with horses that can't deal with bouncy children playing, how on earth do they cope at competitions or even out hacking ?

Having been stabled on yards next to comprehensive and primary schools with endless footballs flying onto the yard, it was brilliant for despooking the newly backed one. Having a football hit her backside as I was mounting was quite funny. She'd learnt that small humans are just as loopy as she was. The horses get used to anything if you don't make a big deal about it.
 
loved your reply Cherrydan. Well said. Parents who think that other people should babysit/like/love their child are idiots who need supervising themselves. However that is also true for owners of horses and dogs who think that everyone should/must like their little darlings as well. They are even more annoying.
 
Permissive forms of parenting and raising children without boundaries does them no favours. They may struggle to make a successful transition to adult life, where the world is far less tolerant than their parents. Having to turn up to work, college or university on time, do the minimum expected amount of work, to have appropriate adult to adult relationships, etc, can be a challenge for children who never got the life skills they needed as they were growing up.

Children's behaviour that creates hazards around horses-- zero tolerance. Who is responsible for the children-- their parents!

Blaming other non-parental adults for the outcomes of what unsupervised or out of control children do is poor parenting. Children raised with firm boundaries of what is expected and allowed and what is not are a pure pleasure to be around. Those who are not-- are pure misery.

Parents who become angry when someone complains their child is creating a safety issue might well do to examine why it brings out this reaction in themselves. It might be a defensive reaction of someone who does not want to admit their child has gotten utterly out of their control and they do not know how to deal with the situation.
 
olivia x said:
Permissive forms of parenting and raising children without boundaries does them no favours. They may struggle to make a successful transition to adult life, where the world is far less tolerant than their parents. Having to turn up to work, college or university on time, do the minimum expected amount of work, to have appropriate adult to adult relationships, etc, can be a challenge for children who never got the life skills they needed as they were growing up.

Children's behaviour that creates hazards around horses-- zero tolerance. Who is responsible for the children-- their parents!

Blaming other non-parental adults for the outcomes of what unsupervised or out of control children do is poor parenting. Children raised with firm boundaries of what is expected and allowed and what is not are a pure pleasure to be around. Those who are not-- are pure misery.

Parents who become angry when someone complains their child is creating a safety issue might well do to examine why it brings out this reaction in themselves. It might be a defensive reaction of someone who does not want to admit their child has gotten utterly out of their control and they do not know how to deal with the situation.
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Very well said, and for good parenting to happen the parents also have to accept adult responsibility!
 
olivia x said:
Permissive forms of parenting and raising children without boundaries does them no favours. They may struggle to make a successful transition to adult life, where the world is far less tolerant than their parents. Having to turn up to work, college or university on time, do the minimum expected amount of work, to have appropriate adult to adult relationships, etc, can be a challenge for children who never got the life skills they needed as they were growing up.
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The problem is that we are now on second generation from the 'permissive 60s' and some of the first generation are now the bosses of the second generation and let them get away with it in the workplace. Some of the stuff that goes on where I work, that people are not pulled up for, beggars belief! You cannot say anything to anyone for fear of 'upsetting' them and having a grievance lodged. There was one woman who I trained who persistently cut corners after her training and when I disciplined her for her actions (backed up with her training log where she had signed to say that she had been trained a particular way and was competant) she had me up for bullying and harrassment and racial discrimination! As it happens some of the shortcuts she took were that serious she was struck off...
 
A lot if these replies seem to be talking about badly behaved kids being dragged around by their parents, what about the children with their own horses and not particularly horsey parents? Where are they supposed to keep them if so many yards or liveries are anti children?
 
california dreaming said:
loved your reply Cherrydan. Well said. Parents who think that other people should babysit/like/love their child are idiots who need supervising themselves. However that is also true for owners of horses and dogs who think that everyone should/must like their little darlings as well. They are even more annoying.
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Lol, California Dreaming, that is so true. Smelly old licky dogs who you've just seen lick their bum and want to lick my face, I'm supposed to say aww isnt it lovely, Erm no...my kids do not do this, cackle...i have real children, no more, no less, but they are not substitutes. I dont expect them to be loved or liked, or looked after, I'm their mum, i can do this.
As for someone who suggested that the people who have children to hold their hand on their deathbed is a wrong reason, i agree...but to personify an animal into a sentimental being is ridiculous, i love my horse, but if he saw a bucket of feed or my awaiting cuddle, i bet he would choose the food.My children, Well they ARE sentimental creatures, they REALLY love me, there are no substitutes for my humanoids. You get out what you put in with kids, maybe those who are getting annoyed and irritated are giving off those vibes? Just saying.
 
Not just kids. I went to complain that a boy about 15 was driving the small pickup thing.
I knew he was unsupervised by the speed he was driving and the fact that farmer was not there.
I was told by farmer's wife he was not driving it as the keys were on the hook, and of course, his denial.
Turned out later he had stolen the spare keys. Why would you believe a child over an adult?
He later got thrown off the farm for throwing stones at horses.
The boy had had a hard upbringing, abandoned by mother, but that did not mean his guardian could just leave him on the farm all day unsupervised, in fact he probably needed more supervision.
 
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MerrySherryRider said:
I'd be a bit worried about the competence of a YO that permitted children to run riot and dig up the ménage or some of the other antics described.
Good YO's run a tight ship where adults and children can enjoy being on the yard without inconveniencing people who have a normal tolerance level.
Those with horses that can't deal with bouncy children playing, how on earth do they cope at competitions or even out hacking ?

Having been stabled on yards next to comprehensive and primary schools with endless footballs flying onto the yard, it was brilliant for despooking the newly backed one. Having a football hit her backside as I was mounting was quite funny. She'd learnt that small humans are just as loopy as she was. The horses get used to anything if you don't make a big deal about it.
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Maybe - just maybe a YO does not permit a child to dig up the school or other such antic. Maybe said children are doing it while their mother is riding and said child is in the corner making sand castles, with a YO out of eye shot or busy doing things and is blissfully unaware of the goings on, and maybe these said children are misbehaving when the YO is out or away!!!!

Just because there are children misbehaving and being destructive does not mean they have the YO permission so to do.

Those with horses that can't deal with bouncy children playing, how on earth do they cope at competitions or even out hacking ?
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Maybe its not so much that the horse cannot cope, many have all said they don''t want to come to to the yard to ride or de stress only to find children screaming around being wreck-less. Also maybe the horse is an over excited horse that does get wound up by kids screaming and running around.
 
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At a past yard, some time ago, there were a few children who were dumped there by their parents. One child was actually in foster care with a family that lived a mile up a country road and used to walk to the yard. She did chores in exchange for an occasional lesson. She was sometimes a bit stroppy, but she also knew she was there on sufferance-- no parent paying big bills to give her a bit of leeway... the other kids I think acted horribly because it was the only way they seemed to get adult attention-- negative attention being better than none-- and that of their parents. These kids were starved for time and attention with their parents-- which they rarely if ever were given.

I remember one evening when the foster care child and another child were at the yard-- no adults around other than me. I had come out after work to ride my horse-- the other child was in tears as she was hungry, her mother could not be bothered to come and pick her up from the yard, it was truly pitiful. I drove each child home-- insisting after a few repeats of this that I be taken into their house to be introduced to the parents and get the ok from the parents to drive the child to their home from the yard. I was shocked at the indifference the parents had in each case as to who was driving their child-- the parents seemed happy to have it be anyone so long as it was not them. I felt very very sorry for these kids. It was a sad day when the foster kid was moved on short notice to another home, as I think the only joy in life she had was the time she was at the yard.

I would have to disagree that kids are acting up at yards because they do not like the adults around them-- and even if this were the case, and perhaps especially if this were the case, the parents have a firm obligation to step in and curb the behaviour.

I think kids act out because they are bored, they want attention or because they have not had firm boundaries put in place by their parents. And the sad truth is that not all children are loved and wanted-- sometimes they are seen as an inconvenience by their parents. So dumping a kid at a livery-- spending money rather than time-- is a way for some parents to try to cope.

ETA

One thing I remember from driving these kids from the yard to their home was insisting they wear their seatbelts. Each kid had a meltdown at the idea. I told them, no seatbelt, no ride home, their choice. They seemed utterly shocked at that notion-- but-- guess what-- they decided to quit melting down and wear their seatbelt and get a ride home. To me-- an example of kids who had not been confronted with clear boundaries and rules, and when they were, fell apart. Until they realised tantruming was not going to get them anywhere. If they had chosen not to wear their seatbelt, I would have left them at the yard for their own parents to sort out sooner or later. And they knew this-- so they made the choice to comply with a simple rule.
 
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I can only speak for myself, if I was spending between £ 300 - £400 per month on part livery and had a stressful job. A long day at the office I could not have my horse stay on a yard where kids are running round screaming messing with my stuff, winding my horse up while schooling or watching him be schooled.


I would be furious with the parents for not keeping their kids under control, and not teaching them to be quiet and sensible around the yard.
 
I listened to 2 screaming kids today for 5 HOURS! In the end I went up my field for some peace but could still hear them. They run wild most days and today the 2 year old got trod on, but it was obviously the pony's fault who was tied up on the yard, not the parents for allowing said child to run underneath the pony.

I too agree that I pay a lot of money to keep my ponies and I cannot stand the sounds of kids screaming! Kid's laughing and enjoying themselves having fun is sweet, but screaming and shouting at each other is just horrible! But apparently they are angels at home, they only scream at the yard when I am around?! :/
 
I'm a bit confused by the reccurrent need to mention the size of the livery bill as some justification for a right to a child free environment. Those of us with children are paying just the same! We chose our yard specifically as it is child friendly, surely those who want a child free experience can do the same?
 
Spring Feather said:
There are no children on my yard. I only have professional career adult owners here. I don't really have any rules on my farm as there's no need, my people are all very sensible.

What is your dilemma?
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Can I come to your yard :-)

We have a rule that no under 16's to be left unsupervised by an adult. apart from that we are very relaxed, and the ladies who do have kids rarley bring them! I have been on yards where kids have literally been dumped at the yard and left one yard had gangs of them being a nuisance - I soon left there!!
 
I'm quite shocked by some of the attitudes on this thread. And very glad (with 3 children who have horses / ponies) that I chose my current yard because I would hate to be somewhere where we had to tiptoe around. When we were looking (we need full livery and good facilities) some of the yards we looked at were so stuffy that I could not imagine us feeling comfortable. Our current yard is brilliant and the girls have never been made to feel as if they shouldn't be there, even though the other liveries are pretty much all adults.
 
Blimey. The person on our yard who I know I could absolutely trust to do the best for Bob the nota cob ,who would not back down if she saw a problem , who would have every horse in that yards best interest at heart , is TWELVE.It would be a cold day in hell before she left a horse unattended.
 
To the people with kids getting offended - I think for most of us the problem isn't kids on the yard it's badly behaved kids on the yard. Like I said before, out of 4 yards I have been on there have always been kids around at least some of the time, but it's only been a problem at one. Heck, after my son outgrew his old pony I had other peoples kids come to ride him. But when you get truly horrible kids, whose behaviour is downright dangerous & the parents are too thick to understand. When you can't even take a day off work to ride in peace because there isn't a day when all 6 are in school/nursery (poorly allegedly, but not too poorly to run around screaming) & they spend all flipping day at the yard. When you can't tie up outside the stable without a brat swinging off your horses tail & you know it's only a matter of time before your normally placid cob objects violently. When you know these kids are going into your horses field when you are not around & little kids are good at giving the game away that they have been giving them carrots. Then it's a bit different to nice friendly, polite kids asking if they can help brush your horse, asking questions that actually have the answer listened to & learning about horses. In the end I left the yard as I knew there would eventually be an accident & either one of the kids or the horses was going to get hurt & I didn't want to be around when it happened. At current yard a 3yo sometimes comes up with his mum but he is no problem at all.
Until you have encountered one of these feral kids at a yard you have no idea what hell they can make it.
 
hairycob said:
To the people with kids getting offended - I think for most of us the problem isn't kids on the yard it's badly behaved kids on the yard. Like I said before, out of 4 yards I have been on there have always been kids around at least some of the time, but it's only been a problem at one. Heck, after my son outgrew his old pony I had other peoples kids come to ride him. But when you get truly horrible kids, whose behaviour is downright dangerous & the parents are too thick to understand. When you can't even take a day off work to ride in peace because there isn't a day when all 6 are in school/nursery (poorly allegedly, but not too poorly to run around screaming) & they spend all flipping day at the yard. When you can't tie up outside the stable without a brat swinging off your horses tail & you know it's only a matter of time before your normally placid cob objects violently. When you know these kids are going into your horses field when you are not around & little kids are good at giving the game away that they have been giving them carrots. Then it's a bit different to nice friendly, polite kids asking if they can help brush your horse, asking questions that actually have the answer listened to & learning about horses. In the end I left the yard as I knew there would eventually be an accident & either one of the kids or the horses was going to get hurt & I didn't want to be around when it happened. At current yard a 3yo sometimes comes up with his mum but he is no problem at all.
Until you have encountered one of these feral kids at a yard you have no idea what hell they can make it.
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Yes, those are the ones that are the issue. Sadly feral is possibly the best term for them.
 
It's all about choice really isn't it? I know some lovely yards that are very child friendly, usually riding schools and larger yards, which are set up and run with children in mind. However, my yard is also my home, so I prefer to only have adults keep their horses here with mine. It's very relaxed and there don't need to be many rules because we all sing from the same hymn book. it doesn't mean I don't like children, I just choose the company of like minded adults when I'm spending time on the yard.
 
I am child free by choice. I agree that children can be well behaved, helpful etc. BUT I would look for a child free yard if and when I cannot keep them at home.

The descriptions of some children's behaviour on these boards if horrifying, mostly because it is dangerous. Many people with children will not control them, and you can be sure if your normally well behaved horse injures one of them because of the kid's bad behaviour it will be YOUR fault.

I hope to move to a proper, competition yard in future and one of the many requirements, including indoor school, 60x20 outdoor, washbox and individual turnout will be a total lack of screaming kids. My choice.
 
Horsewithsocks said:
The descriptions of some children's behaviour on these boards if horrifying, mostly because it is dangerous. Many people with children will not control them, and you can be sure if your normally well behaved horse injures one of them because of the kid's bad behaviour it will be YOUR fault.
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I've got kids, but I've been shocked by some of the descriptions on here.. I'd be out of any yard that allowed children to be there out of control. I'm amazed that Yard Owners don't do something about it.

I love the fact that kids are welcome on our yard. Mine have learned so much from watching and asking questions of the other liveries.

I'm lucky, they get to spend hours in the open air, away from Xboxes and the like, and they've learned the responsbility of looking after their ponies. They are happy to muck in and sweep the yard, and do odd errands to help the YO and other liveries. I think it's laying a great foundation for them, whether they choose to stick with horses later in life or not.

I also love the fact that they are expected to behave!
 
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